October is here, and with it comes a new rhythm that feels different from September’s hurried return to routines. The back-to-school chaos has settled, football is in full swing, and suddenly there are pumpkins everywhere. The days are getting shorter, the evenings cooler, and fall has officially arrived.
October has always felt like a month of change.
Perhaps it is because the change is impossible to miss. The trees turn brilliant shades of gold, red and orange before eventually letting go. There is something so beautiful about that process. Nature doesn’t fight the season or try to hold onto what was. It simply changes.
Maybe there is something in that for all of us.
What a Difference a Year Makes
Last October, I wrote about a very different season in our family. Our son had just gotten married. We were still coming down from the joy of the wedding, adjusting to this wonderful new chapter and welcoming an incredible daughter into our family. A year later, what once felt like a big transition simply feels like our family.
Isn’t that how change works?
At first, something new can feel enormous. We anticipate it, worry about it, plan for it and sometimes even resist it. Then, almost without realizing it, the unfamiliar becomes familiar. The new becomes normal. Before long, we have a hard time remembering what life looked like before.
Watching our son become a husband has been one of those beautiful reminders. Our family didn’t lose anything when he got married. Instead, love simply made room for more love.
Of course, not every change arrives wrapped in joy. Some seasons ask us to let go of people, plans, dreams or versions of ourselves we thought would always be there. Those changes are harder. They stretch us in ways we never asked to be stretched.
Still, they change us.
Two Years of Change for Good
This October also marks two years since the release of my book, Change for Good. Even writing that feels a little surreal. For so long, the book was something I was working toward. I spent years writing, rewriting and wondering if anyone would ever actually read it. Then suddenly, there it was in the world.
At the time, I thought publishing the book was the destination. Two years later, I realize it was really just another beginning. Change for Good was born from my belief that service has the power to transform us. I had spent decades watching people take their pain, loss and heartbreak and turn those experiences into something that helped someone else. Again and again, I witnessed ordinary people doing extraordinary things simply because they chose to help.
I knew helping changed the person receiving the kindness. What I came to understand was how profoundly it changes the person giving it. Since the book came out, that message has continued to grow in ways I never expected. Readers have shared stories about volunteering, reconnecting with people they love and becoming more intentional about how they show up in the world. The book has led to conversations, speaking opportunities and connections with people I never would have met otherwise.
Most surprisingly, its message continues to work on me. Two years later, I am still learning how to let go, how to trust what comes next and how to turn life’s harder moments into something useful. Perhaps that is the funny thing about writing a book called Change for Good. Life continues to make sure I practice what I preach.
The Lesson of October
This year has given me plenty of opportunities to practice.
There have been joyful beginnings, difficult goodbyes, unexpected turns and moments when life looked very different from what I had imagined. Through all of it, I keep coming back to the same truth: we cannot always choose the changes that come our way, but we can choose what we do with them.
That choice matters. We can hold tightly to what was, or we can remain open to what might be. We can see every ending only as a loss, or we can leave a little room for the possibility that something new may eventually grow in that empty space. October shows us this every single year.
The trees do not seem afraid to let go. They put on one spectacular show and then release what they no longer need. There is no panic about whether another spring will come. Somehow, nature simply trusts the process. I wish I were always that good at it.
Making Room for What Comes Next
There are so many things I love about October. I love college football weekends, crisp mornings, sweaters coming out of the closet and the first real hint that the holidays are around the corner. More than anything, though, I love the reminder this month gives us.
Life is always changing.
Our children grow up and create families of their own. Dreams become reality and then evolve into something we never expected. People we love leave us. New people arrive. Careers shift. Friendships change. Our bodies change. Even our understanding of who we are continues to grow.
Perhaps our job isn’t to resist any of it. Instead, maybe our work is to pay attention. To be grateful for what was, present to what is and hopeful about what is still ahead. So, as October arrives in all of its glorious color, I am trying to take a lesson from the trees. I am holding tightly to gratitude and a little more loosely to everything else.
Because sometimes letting go isn’t the end of the story. Sometimes it is how we make room for what comes next.
CHARITY MATTERS.
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