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World Cancer Day: February 4th

The words, “You have cancer,” change everything.

They change the rhythm of a heartbeat, the meaning of time, the way a family breathes together. Those words change plans and priorities, conversations and calendars. According to data from 2022, more than 20 million people around the world hear those three words each year, and over 53 million people are alive within five years of a diagnosis, still living with and navigating the disease.

There isn’t one person reading this who hasn’t been touched by cancer. A parent, a sibling, a spouse, a friend, a colleague and a neighbor. Cancer is indiscriminate and relentless, and yet, so are the people who rise to meet it with courage, grit, and hope.

Right now, I have three dear friends all young, vibrant, and full of life who are actively fighting this insidious disease. Watching someone you love endure cancer is its own kind of heartbreak. You want to fix it, take the pain away and most of all to do something. When the truth is that so much of it is out of your control. And yet, this is where love lives, in the something we can do.

Next week, on Wednesday, February 4th, the world will pause to recognize World Cancer Day. I’m sharing this early this year with one simple hope: that we use this moment not just to raise awareness, but to take action. Because kindness, support, and connection matter more than we sometimes realize especially to someone walking through cancer.

The Silent Weight of Cancer

Cancer is not just a medical diagnosis. It is emotional. Financial. Spiritual. It brings exhaustion that sleep doesn’t cure and fear that no amount of reassurance fully erases. Cancer affects the patient, yes but also their families, caregivers, and communities.

There are days filled with scans and waiting rooms. Days of good news and days of devastating setbacks and days when the bravest thing someone can do is simply get out of bed. And while survivors often speak of strength, what I have learned again and again is this: strength doesn’t mean doing it alone. Support matters. Being seen matters. Feeling remembered matters.

What Not to Say and What to Do Instead

Many of us want to help, but we’re afraid of saying the wrong thing. So we say nothing. Or we offer vague promises: “Let me know if you need anything.” Here’s the truth: people with cancer are tired. Tired of explaining, tired of asking and tired of being strong.

Instead of waiting, show up with intention:

  • Drop off a meal (or better yet, a grocery or restaurant gift card).

  • Send a simple text: “Thinking of you today.”

  • Offer specifics: “I can drive you to treatment Tuesday” or “I’ll take the kids Saturday.”

  • Sit quietly. Listen. Let them talk or not talk at all.

Sometimes the greatest gift is presence without pressure.

Small Acts That Make a Big Difference

As we approach World Cancer Day, here are tangible ways each of us can support those living with cancer:

1. Support Cancer-Focused Organizations
There are incredible nonprofits providing research funding, patient services, advocacy, and community. A donation large or small that all helps fuel hope. All of these resources below are linked.

2. Give Time, Not Just Money
Volunteer at a hospital. Help with transportation. Babysit. Walk a dog. Cancer steals energy and your time gives it back.

3. Send Comfort, Not Just Cards
Soft socks. Cozy blankets. Journals. A playlist. Small comforts can bring enormous relief during long treatment days.

4. Educate Yourself
Understanding the disease your loved one is facing allows you to be more compassionate and present. Knowledge builds empathy.

5. Honor Caregivers
Caregivers are often the quiet warriors. Check on them. Feed them. Encourage them to rest. They need support too.

The Power of Community

One of the greatest lessons cancer teaches us, if we’re paying attention, is the power of community. No one is meant to walk this road alone. When we show up for one another, we lighten the load in ways medicine alone cannot. I’ve seen how a meal train becomes a lifeline. How a text at the right moment becomes strength. How a prayer, a note, a simple “I’m here” becomes hope.

And hope matters.

Why World Cancer Day Matters

World Cancer Day isn’t just a date on the calendar. It’s a reminder that cancer is a global fight and a deeply personal one. World Cancer Day is a call to compassion, to advocacy and a call to action. On February 4th, wear a ribbon. Share a story. Make a donation. Reach out to someone who is fighting. Do something….anything that says, “You are not alone.”

Because love doesn’t cure cancer but it carries people through it.

A Final Thought

To those fighting cancer: you are seen, you are loved. and you are more than this diagnosis. For those who have lost someone: your grief matters, and your love lives on. And to those who want to help but don’t know how: start small. Start now. Start with love.

This World Cancer Day, let us turn awareness into action, compassion into community, and kindness into healing. Because when we care for one another, truly care, we change the world, one act of love at a time.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2026 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Dreams for 2026

Since July of 2011, I have been sharing my dreams with you, every single week in one way or another. You are my confidants, my motivation, my cheer section, my diary and my accountability. More than that, you help me dream. I can’t dream without you.

I recently heard Mel Robbins say that if you’re looking at a map, you need to know where you were, how you got there, and where you are now to truly understand where you’re going. That stopped me in my tracks. Because as we stand on the edge of a brand-new year, I realized it was time to pause, look back, and reflect, so we can step forward with intention, pride, and excitement.

So today, let’s take a walk together through where we’ve been… so we can dream boldly about where we’re going.

The Early Dreams: Just Figuring it out

In the very first year of Charity Matters, the dream was simple: to find my voice and learn how to write a blog. That’s it. No grand vision. No master plan. Just the hope that maybe, if I kept showing up, the words would come and the message would matter. Creating a logo, a website those were the big dreams then.

There was no Canva, even a logo was a huge process…it was 2010 after all. Back then, tracking down nonprofit founders wasn’t easy either.  Finding them at all felt like detective work. Yet, like every nonprofit that begins with the hope of helping “just one person” a phrase I’ve heard from nearly every founder I’ve ever met. Charity Matters began the same way. One story. One voice. One post at a time.

Slowly, year by year, the dream grew.

Eventually, something shifted. Founders began coming to me. Today, we have more people to interview than we have time for and that is a gift I never take lightly.

The “All or None” Years

When I started at TACSC, I was asked a question I’ll never forget:
“How will you juggle a family, nonprofit boards, and this blog?”

The suggestion was that something had to give. My answer was simple and honest:
“It’s all or none.”

That belief shaped everything that came next.

By 2013, Sundays became writing days. I spent three to five hours every Sunday transcribing handwritten notes, replaying phone calls, and doing my best to get every word right. It was hard. It was imperfect. And it was sacred.

Looking back now, I smile at that version of myself….determined, tired, and deeply committed to showing up anyway. Who knew then that all of that was training ground for what was to come.

Big Dreams and Paused Ones

In 2018, something extraordinary happened. CBS decided to move forward with a Charity Matters reality show. It was surreal. We worked on it all through 2019, dreaming big and imagining what could be.

When my champion at CBS left in November 2019, we decided to pause and pick things up in 2020.

And then… well, we all know what happened next.

That dream didn’t die….it simply went on hold. And I’ve learned that sometimes dreams don’t disappear; they wait patiently for the right season.

The Podcast Pivot

By 2020, the dream shifted again and this time toward finding an easier way to transcribe interviews. That practical need is what led me to start the Charity Matters podcast. I naively assumed my readers would naturally become listeners.

Some of you did. Many of you didn’t. And that was okay.

What I didn’t expect was that the podcast would create an entirely new audience. One I never could have imagined. Thanks to transcription tools and new technology, the way I worked and the way we connected….all of that changed forever.

Today, the podcast is top-rated. Proof that dreams often unfold in ways we never plan, but always need.

Dreams Written in Ink

In November of 2023, during a podcast interview with Cindy Witteman, I admitted something out loud that had lived quietly in my heart for years: I had always dreamed of writing a book and contributing to a magazine.

On October 1, 2024, that dream became reality.

Change for Good launched and became an Amazon bestseller in five categories before it was even released in paperback. Weeks later, Cindy launched FORCE Magazine, and I’ve been writing a monthly column ever since.

Dreams really do come true and sometimes when you say them out loud to the right person at exactly the right time.

What 2025 Taught Me

2025 was filled with book promotion and public speaking—and I loved every minute of it. Being back in rooms with people, hearing your stories, laughing, crying, connecting… it reminded me of something essential.

Connection is what I want more of. Connection with the founders I interview. Connection with readers, listeners, and audiences who believe that kindness and service can change the world. People need people and zoom just isn’t enough.

Looking Ahead to 2026

As I look toward 2026, I see more public speaking ahead and I want to be better at it. I want to grow as a storyteller. To move people not just with words, but with presence and purpose.

I also want to fully embrace technology. No more fighting it. No more resisting. Technology is a gift that gives us back time and time is precious. I’m taking AI classes, learning new tools, and yes… I still write every word of this myself. (Though maybe that’s something I’ll rethink, too.)

One dream that feels especially bold? A TED Talk. Like training for a marathon, having that goal would push me to grow, stretch, and rise to the challenge.

The Biggest Dream of All

Perhaps the biggest and most vulnerable dream for 2026 is monetizing the podcast.

For years, I’ve paid out of pocket to keep it going by supporting our incredible team of sound editors and social media experts. Money went out every month, but none came in. I told myself I couldn’t accept funds for anything connected to charity, because this was my charity.

This year, something shifted.

If my mission is to help the helpers, then growth matters. Expansion matters. Sustainability matters. And all of that costs money.

So in 2026, we’ll begin partnering with select organizations that align deeply with our values. No selling yoga pants. No “micro-influencer” nonsense. Just meaningful partnerships with people doing good in the world.

And that feels right.

Cheers to the Journey

When I look back at where we’ve been and how far we’ve come together, I feel overwhelming pride. When I look ahead at where we’re going, I feel excited, hopeful, and deeply grateful.

Life really is about the journey and not the destination.

Thank you for being such a powerful part of mine. Thank you for dreaming with me, believing with me, and showing up week after week.

Here’s to where we’ve been and blessings on where we’re going.

Happy New Year! May all your dreams come true!

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2026 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Who we met in 2025 and some of the lessons we learned

As we say goodbye to 2025 and prepare to welcome a brand-new year, it feels important….necessary, really to pause. To breathe. To look back with gratitude at the people who crossed our path and the lessons they so generously shared.

This past year, we were privileged to meet some of the most extraordinary humans. These nonprofit founders who opened their hearts, shared their stories, and reminded us what it truly means to live, to give, to serve, and to lead. These are the people who show up when life breaks open. The ones who take pain and transform it into purpose. The ones who remind us that service heals not just the world, but the soul.

What follows is a reflection on just a few of the remarkable people who we met in 2025 and the wisdom they entrusted to us, using their exact words, because their voices matter. Their truth matters. And their lessons deserve to be remembered as we step into a new year with hope.

Mission, Mentorship, and the Courage to Act

We began the year with ICL Founder Kirk Spahn, whose clarity around mission and momentum set the tone for the year ahead. Kirk said, “It goes back to being mission driven, and the idea that when you inspire someone, and someone gets inspired, you want to take action right away.” Kirk spoke about honoring what has come before while still having the courage to evolve. “I have a concept in education that we use at ICL that says, respect tradition, but embrace tomorrow.”

He reminded us that inspiration is not passive, it is meant to move us. And that mentors and teachers change lives not only by what they teach, but by what they see in us. “I believe that teachers and mentors are still what motivates people… It’s also on the flip side, someone that believes in you as an individual, that the world might see the potential in you.”

The lesson? When we believe in people and give them tools to apply their passion to the real world, we don’t just educate. We empower.

Faith, Purpose, and the Strength to Persist

We were deeply moved by KinderSmile Foundation founder Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes, whose words were a masterclass in purpose-driven perseverance. Nicole said, “To be very honest, what fueled me was my faith and that I was brought here for a reason. This is my purpose.” And when you know your purpose, you don’t quit.

She said, There’s no such thing as giving up… You understand that there will be dark times and there will be light times, but you still persist, because it’s bigger than me. It’s serving a community and it’s creating a legacy.” Her lesson was simple and profound: purpose anchors us when the road gets hard and it always does.

Finding Your Voice So Others Can Find Theirs

Then there was the incomparable Enchanted Makeovers founder Terry Grahl, whose journey from silence to strength reminded us that voices are often born in pain. Terry is a warrior who said, “At the very beginning, I prayed through tears, arms lifted, saying, ‘God, give me a voice, please just give me a voice so I can be a voice for others.’”

Terry shared how she was once told to stay quiet and how God had other plans.“I was painfully shy… I was bullied constantly… But God kept His promise.” Her lesson was unmistakable: “God gave me this voice so I can use it for women, for children, for those who don’t yet believe they’re worthy of being heard.”

Sometimes the very thing that once silenced us becomes the tool we use to set others free.

Lessons From Parents Who Have Lost the Most

When people ask what nonprofit founders leave the biggest impressions and teach us the most? The answer is always the same: parents who have lost a child. Their grief is profound and so is their wisdom.

Choosing Meaning Over Ease

Thrive N Joy Foundation founder Mary Fagnano shared this truth after losing her son Nick: Mary said, “Never to take a day for granted. Every day is precious. Every relationship that is important to you is precious.”

And then, a line that stays with you forever:“I don’t want to live an easy life. I want to live a meaningful life.”

Being Cracked Open by Loss and Love

Susie Shaw, Founder of William’s Be Yourself Challenge, spoke with breathtaking honesty about losing her young son William. “When William died, my entire life changed 100%.” Grief reshaped her identity and expanded her compassion.“We were just cracked open. Everything just came pouring out… I’ve grown so much in my empathy.”

Her lesson was one we all need to hear: “We all just need to slow down.”

Grief, Gratitude, and Love Organized

Penny’s Flight founder Kate Doerge shared words that feel like poetry and truth intertwined. Kate said “I used to search for the ‘one client’ that would let me move the needle; now I see that the needle is people, and the work is love organized.” She reminded us that grief and gratitude are not opposites.“I’ve learned that grief and gratitude can share a sentence.”

And perhaps most beautifully: “It’s our wingspan… how far we’re willing to reach for others… that measures a life.”

Fathers’, Loss, and Clarity

A Brighter Day founder Elliot Kallen reminded us how fleeting life truly is. He said, “Life goes by in the blink of an eye.”His lesson centered on intention and impact:“What truly matters is the people around you, the lives you touch, the impact you make.”

Pain and Purpose Living Side by Side

Finally, Shoulder Check co-founder Rob Thorsen shared a powerful vision of leadership shaped by loss. Rob said, “Pain and purpose live together now.” And with clarity born from heartbreak: “Less time for what doesn’t matter, more devotion to what does.”

His closing reflection says it all: “If my legacy is simply that people checked in on one another more often, that would be a life well-lived.”

Gratitude as We Step Into a New Year

Each guest and lesson is a gift we have been given. It is my hope that we can all carry some of these words of wisdom into the New Year.  There are so many wise people we met this year and far too many people to list. To every nonprofit founder who shared so deeply and so personally…..thank you. Your journeys inspire us to be better, to find joy in loss, to keep moving forward, and to believe, deeply, that service heals.

To everyone who read, shared, subscribed, listened, and cheered us on….thank you for being part of this movement for good. The world needs us all now more than ever.

May we enter the New Year remembering that every small act of kindness makes the world better. Wishing you all a blessed, hopeful, and beautiful New Year ahead.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2025 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Merry Christmas 2025

“Christmas, my child is love in action. Every time we love, every time we give, it’s Christmas.”

Dale Evans

christmas-love

Today is Christmas Eve at last,
It’s here so quickly…..far too fast.
A sacred pause, a softened night,
Where hearts grow warm by candlelight.

It’s always been my favorite eve,
A night I hold and still believe.
My parents’ table, stretched and wide,
With room for all who stepped inside.

For friends and family, near and stray,
For those with nowhere else to stay.
No questions asked, no need to prove
Just open doors and space to move.

In giving love, our home once grew
More full than walls could ever do.
And now, again, we gather near,
With laughter, joy, and holiday cheer.

This year’s no different, still the same
The love, the noise, the glowing flame.
My heart is full beyond its seams,
Overflowing hope and Christmas dreams.

Yet on this night, so calm and bright,
We pause to honor those not in sight.
The empty chair, the voice we miss,
The ones we loved, remembered in this.

Their presence lingers, soft and true,
In whispered prayers and memories too.
They live in stories, love, and light,
Especially on this holy night.

And still, we’re called to look around,
For lonely hearts that may be found.
A neighbor quiet, a friend alone,
Far from the place they once called home.

A simple act, a gift so small,
Can mean the most, it means it all.
For Christmas lives in what we give,
In how we love, in how we live.

Each time we love, we freely give,
That’s how the truest gifts all live.
My wish this night, both far and near,
Is that all feel love this time of year.

May hope be felt, may hearts feel whole,
May peace and kindness fill each soul.
Merry Christmas, warm and true
May love find its way home to you.

Merry Christmas

 

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2025 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Christmas Came Early This Year

There are moments in life when the universe seems to wink at you.  Moments when all your hard work, heart, and hustle come full circle in the most unexpected and delightful way. Well friends, that moment came early for me this year. Forget wrapping paper and ribbons, because this year’s Christmas gift came straight from Spotify. And let me tell you, it was wrapped in joy, gratitude, and more than a little disbelief.

When I opened our Spotify Wrapped report for the Charity Matters Podcast, I felt a little like a kid sneaking down the stairs too early on Christmas morning ….. excited, giddy, and totally overwhelmed. There it was in black and green: we’re in the top 5% of podcasts in our category! Cue the sleigh bells and maybe a little happy dance around my office.

I have to admit, I blinked a few times, refreshed the page, and maybe even said a little “Wait, what?” out loud. But there it was again. And as if that wasn’t enough Christmas cheer, the stats just kept on coming:

 Our show’s growth outpaced 64% of all podcasts this year.
 Our listeners stayed tuned in 73% longer than the average show.
Our average rating was 75% higher than other podcasts.
And best of all …. our audience grew by 25%, with our followers growing even more than that!

If this isn’t a Christmas miracle, I don’t know what is?

When I started Charity Matters, it wasn’t about numbers or rankings . Charity Matters is  about storytelling, service and kindness.  It was about shining a light on the helpers, the doers, and the givers who are out there quietly changing the world every single day. What began as a blog over a decade ago just me, a laptop, and a whole lot of heart has blossomed into a community, a conversation, and yes, now a top 5% podcast.

That’s not my doing. That’s you.

You, the listeners who tune in each week while driving to work, folding laundry, walking your dog, or just needing a little reminder that goodness still exists in this crazy world. You, the readers who open each week’s story, share it with friends, and send me messages that remind me why I do this. You, the guests …. the amazing nonprofit founders, the changemakers, the dreamers each who share your stories so vulnerably and powerfully that they ripple far beyond the microphone.

This isn’t my Christmas gift … it’s ours.

When I think about the spirit of Christmas and the real meaning behind it ……Christmas is about love, gratitude, and giving. And that’s exactly what this podcast has become: a community built on giving. Every episode, every interview, every listener who takes an idea and turns it into an act of kindness . Each of you are proof that goodness is alive and well.

And maybe that’s why this milestone feels so personal. Because for me, Charity Matters has never been just a show  but rather  a movement for good. It’s about making kindness and service not just something we do when we have time, but something we live.

When I wrote Change for Good, I shared a line that I come back to often: “When we serve others, we heal ourselves.” That’s what I see in each of you. Every download, every listen, every small act of service that was inspired by one of our episodes  those are all little sparks of healing and hope. Together, we are creating something extraordinary.

Now, I have to confess , I’m a bit of a stats nerd (I know, shocking). But these numbers are more than data points; they’re proof of connection. Proof that even in a world obsessed with negativity and noise, people are still choosing to listen to stories about kindness. Proof that you are hungry …no, starving  for good news, for hope, for inspiration.

And you’re finding it here, week after week.

Our little show that started with a microphone and a mission has found its place in the top 5%. That’s not luck, that’s the result of thousands of ears and hearts choosing to tune in. You’ve made Charity Matters part of your lives, and in doing so, you’ve made me believe even more deeply in the power of storytelling to change the world.

Every time you share an episode, every time you leave a review, every time you tell a friend, “You have to hear this story,” you are helping kindness go viral. You are helping to make service contagious. You are proving that goodness is not only alive but it’s growing, one listener at a time.

So yes, Christmas came early this year. But the real gift isn’t the ranking or the growth or even the shiny Spotify badge (though I’ll admit, that’s pretty fun). The real gift is knowing that we are making an impact  together.

It’s knowing that somewhere out there, a listener heard a story that made them volunteer for the first time. Or donate. Or start their own nonprofit. Or maybe just smile at a stranger. Because that’s how kindness works and it multiplies.

And that’s the mission. That’s the heartbeat of Charity Matters.

As we head into the holiday season, I want to take a moment to simply say thank you. Thank you for believing in this movement for good. Thank you for making kindness a choice, not a coincidence. Thank you for showing up  week after week, story after story to remind me that there are helpers everywhere.

Fred Rogers once said, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” Well, I don’t have to look far.  I see them every time I open our listener stats. I see them in you.

So from the bottom of my heart and from everyone behind the scenes who makes this show possible …thank you for being the heartbeat of this movement.

Here’s to the year ahead. To more stories, more kindness, more connection, and more moments that remind us that change for good always begins with one simple act …. choosing to care.

May your holidays be filled with joy, love, and gratitude. And if you need a little extra holiday spirit, might I recommend scrolling through our Spotify playlist of goodness? You helped build it, after all.

Merry Christmas, my friends. You are the reason Christmas came early this year and I couldn’t imagine a better gift.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2025 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Thanksgiving 2025

Every November, as the air turns crisp and the days shorten, something shifts inside of us. We slow down, just a little and begin to think about gratitude. Thanksgiving arrives like a gentle reminder, asking us to pause, look around, and take stock of the blessings that surround us. It’s one of my favorite holidays, not because of the turkey or the table setting (though I do love those too), but because of what it represents: connection, community, and grace.

For me, Thanksgiving will always carry a deeper meaning. The holiday became sacred in 2002, the year we lost my mom. That November, grief was a constant companion. My sisters and I were staying in our childhood home while my dad still in the hospital, the world around us still blurry from shock. We were exhausted, numb, and trying to hold one another up. Everyone was dancing around the idea of Thanksgiving, unsure if we could celebrate when our hearts were shattered.

And then, on Thanksgiving morning, the doctor gave us an unexpected gift. My dad could come home. After weeks of fear and heartbreak, we suddenly had something to be grateful for. That day, we ordered take-out turkey, set the table in the home that had always been our family’s heart, and gathered around with our newborn niece. It wasn’t perfect, but it was beautiful. My dad’s chair was filled, even though my mom’s was heartbreakingly empty. For the first time, I realized that sadness and joy can coexist with loss. Even in loss, gratitude can bloom. Our take-out turkey had never tasted so good, and our laughter through tears became a form of prayer.

That Thanksgiving taught me something essential: gratitude isn’t about everything being right. It’s about being thankful anyway. It’s about recognizing the light even in the darkest moments, about seeing blessings wrapped in grief. It was the beginning of understanding that gratitude is not a reaction…..it’s a choice.

Over the years, I’ve come to see how gratitude and service are inseparable. In Change for Good, I wrote that “there is no joy without gratitude.” The two are intertwined, and together, they transform our lives. Gratitude softens us; it reminds us that what we have is enough. Service, in turn, amplifies that gratitude. It’s the natural overflow of a full heart and the way love finds its way outward.

When I began interviewing nonprofit founders for Charity Matters, I noticed something extraordinary: every single one of them, in one way or another, was fueled by gratitude. Some had survived loss or trauma; others had simply been touched by profound kindness. Each story was a living example of what I call “miracle fuel” which is the energy that comes when we stop focusing on what we lack and instead recognize how much we already have. Gratitude propels us forward; it’s the quiet force that turns pain into purpose.

Take Paige Chenault, who realized that her gift for throwing parties could bring joy to children living in homeless shelters. Her gratitude for her own daughter’s birthday became a spark that ignited The Birthday Party Project. Paige’s story beautifully shows how gratitude becomes contagious and how one thankful heart can inspire thousands to celebrate others.

Every story I’ve shared and every interview I’ve done, reinforces what Thanksgiving teaches us: gratitude changes everything. It rewires our hearts, softens our spirits, and reminds us that even the smallest acts of kindness can ripple outward in ways we may never see.

As I’ve learned through my own journey, gratitude is more than a polite “thank you.” Gratitude is a daily practice, a perspective, and a way of life. It’s the decision to look for grace when it would be easier to focus on what’s missing. It’s the steady voice that whispers, you have enough.

And when gratitude overflows, it naturally becomes service. We can’t help but give when our hearts are full. That’s why Thanksgiving feels like the truest reflection of who we are meant to be….not a day of indulgence, but of awareness. It reminds us to see one another, to gather, to care, to serve. Because gratitude without action is incomplete. When we give thanks and then give of ourselves, we honor the very spirit of the holiday.

In Change for Good, I shared how service healed me in unimaginable ways. Grief cracked me open, but gratitude stitched me back together. Service filled the empty spaces that loss left behind. When we serve others that is when we are living the truest form of Thanksgiving. We are saying, through our actions, thank you for this life.

Today, I think about the new table our family will be celebrating around. Joining our daughter-in-law’s family and the blending of two families coming together. I think of my mom and how much she would love all of them. Then I come back to that first Thanksgiving after my mom’s passing. There are still absences that ache, but also new blessings that fill the space. Gratitude, I’ve learned, is cumulative. It grows when shared. Each year, each moment of thanks adds another layer to the tapestry of our lives.

So as we gather this year around big tables or small ones, with family, friends, or even alone I hope we take a moment to truly feel the miracle of the ordinary. The smell of the meal, the sound of laughter, the warmth of someone’s hand, the quiet peace of being alive. These are the things that matter.

Thanksgiving is not about perfection but about presence. It’s about seeing what remains, not what’s gone. The day is about opening our eyes to the beauty that is always there, waiting to be noticed. And when we do, we discover that gratitude isn’t just for one day but it’s the rhythm that can carry us through every season.

This Thanksgiving, may we remember that gratitude isn’t something we feel once a year, it’s something we live. May we find joy in the small things, hope in hard times, and purpose in helping others. Because when we live with grateful hearts, every day becomes Thanksgiving.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

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Episode 95: Uprising Yoga

 Pablo Picasso said, “The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” That’s the thread running through this week’s episode with my dear friend Jill, founder of Uprising Yoga. Jill’s journey is a full-circle story. From an angry, hurting teenager to a joyful healer bringing trauma-informed yoga and life skills to youth in juvenile halls. She discovered a gift that first saved her own life: breath, presence, and the slow, steady return to self. And then she did the most beautiful thing….she gave that gift away, again and again, to kids who need it most.

In this conversation, Jill invites us into the processing units at juvenile hall, where resistance softens into resilience, where a single breath can become a lifeline, and where hope looks like one small practice done with love. If you’ve ever wondered how purpose finds us in the mess and the miracle of real life, you’ll feel it here. Come listen to how a $10, ten-day yoga pass became a mission, how community shows up when we “look for the helpers,” and how gifts once found…can ripple out to change the world.

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Uprising Yoga does?

Jill Ippolito: At Uprising Yoga,the main thing we do is bring trauma-informed yoga life skills to those incarcerated and communities that need it most. That’s the mission. What we’re actually doing currently: we have trauma-informed yoga trainings that we have taught, but right now we have two classes at Los Padrinos in juvenile hall, in the processing units, where youth are taken and detained and moved through the system.

Charity Matters: What were some early memories of service or giving?

Jill Ippolito: I was an angry teenager. Resistance. Always getting in trouble. Defiant rebellion to authority. Refusal to be a part of volunteering. My mom insisted. I have a picture of me wearing a shirt called “Do Something,” and that was the name of one of the organizations she dragged me to. I had a frown on my face. I did not want to help anybody. And she just insisted that, you know what, wherever we are, we can reach out and help anybody in need. She made me do it. There are pictures of me…reluctant.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start  Uprising Yoga?

Jill Ippolito:  In 2001 I was dealing with my own addiction issues. I was in jails and institutions. I was told to go to a program for recovery. Shocking, daunting and defiant refusal again. When I tried to go into some of this recovery, the lights were really bright, the people were smiling, facial expressions hard. I signed up for $10 for 10 days to a hot yoga studio, and it helped me feel safe. It changed everything. I left the class feeling lighter, like my life could have purpose if I went to yoga every day. Just $10, 10 days…I wondered how many times can I go in those 10 days? That’s where something started to shift in my personal recovery.

Fast forward to 2006. I was dating my now husband, Nick. He went to a place called Challenger, a youth probation camp…basically prison camp….named after the astronauts. He came home with a look on his face: horror story. The conditions were so terrible there. I said, “Can I teach yoga there?” By then I had become a yoga teacher. It was a really long time, but we started our first class back in November of 2011.  This month Uprising Yoga turns 14 years.

I started volunteering in juvenile hall; there were a lot of hurdles to get there, but that’s when we aligned with LA County. I called my mom and said, “Hey, we’ve been volunteering in juvenile hall.” She said, “Is that the one I picked you up from when you were a kid?” I had been in juvenile hall as a youth without remembering it. I started to really study trauma and the effects, and how yoga gave me that sense of peace that I wanted to breathe and live life in a healthy way, instead of choosing the darkness I was trapped in at the time.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Jill Ippolito: I never wanted to be a yoga teacher. I fell into it by falling off buildings and landing in: I need this yoga; what do I do? And I never wanted to build a nonprofit. I was working at a yoga college, talking about volunteering, and a close friend said, “Why don’t you file for a nonprofit?” I said, “I don’t know how.” He goes, “You just fill out the paperwork, and if you do anything wrong, trust me, they’ll call you.” That put the seed in me.

I didn’t want to sit at the counter forever. I wasn’t really hireable. Working for someone else wasn’t my personality, so I thought I’d better build something I can run and do. I started playing with names, organization, building it from there, looking around at colleagues. People said, “I want to be a part of this. I want to teach.” They brought resources and education. We wrote a manual. We did a training. We basically became a pipeline to get yoga instructors to share their gifts.

The hurdles are heavy: child sex trafficking, foster youth, gangs. We brought in experts, integrated their knowledge into our trainings. There’s bureaucracy, red tape, security…just to get into prisons and juvenile halls. But we kept going.

photo: Robert Sturman

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Jill Ippolito: I know how much it helped me. It turned my life around, from the impossible to a beautiful life. That keeps me going. When the kids come up and say, “Miss, I could feel my heartbeat,” “I can breathe,” “What you taught me helped me sleep last night.” Watching the resistance like I had…being angry at the world and really believing there’s no one who’s going to help me… My main mission has been autonomy: go within. What is there? Find your resilience and trust yourself. Do some re-parenting if you’ve never had any self-love, self-care. It’s never about yoga. It’s all about mindfulness, meditation, self-care. The resilience of: how can I apply these skills directly in my life? If I sit, breathe, feel, connect then when I slow down, the urgency to react and resist softens.

Charity Matters: When do you know you have made a difference?

Jill Ippolito: The stories and the notes the kids bring us. A kid saying, “You’re my hero….you’ve lived this life we’re living and you’ve had triumph.” The one-on-one communications: “How do I do this when I get out?” If I never see this kid again, I want them, in five minutes, to know they can inhale, hold it, and use a longer exhale to regulate their nervous system so they can think clearly. For example when they’re in court testifying against their abusers. Planting a seed: we care about you; there are people out there who care about you; and this is a five-minute thing you can do to calm down.

“Yoga is a gift. No one can take it from you.” Breathing is life. People may take and take; what is something nobody can take from you? Your breath. Your connection to your heart.

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Jill Ippolito: The thousands of incarcerated youth and community members we’ve served. Bridging people together……working with Indigenous populations and other countries. I loved getting to work with Elmo on Sesame Street for Monster Yoga. My peers invited me to write a book with them called Best Practices for Yoga in the Criminal Justice System. Collaboration with other nonprofits…all of that’s success to me.

I was on Roadtrip Nation with PBS; kids chose their heroes and brought a bus to my class. To have a kid say you’re my hero… just wow! Data matters too: from August to this month….22 classes; 144 kids; twice a week. I’m proud of career pathways: getting jobs for our youth taking our class. We recognize talent. I tell them, “Yoga really likes you.” They brighten up. We’ve helped youth become yoga teachers and then hired them. That’s a huge success.

And I’ll add my personal success: being true to myself and my artistry. I love doing stand-up comedy. I have a persona, “Jill So Chill.” I keep people to chill out, laugh, have fun. After heavy stories that feel like there aren’t solutions, my biggest skill is to laugh and be in the present moment.

Photo: Robert Sturman

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Jill Ippolito: A dedicated Uprising Yoga Center, where people can go: safe space for healing, nourishment, food. With food insecurity and SNAP issues, there’s more need for impact and fostering community. Partnering with other nonprofits.

One of my biggest dreams is to put our trauma-informed yoga training into a slick, interactive system….like the DMV: read something, take a test; read something, take a test; earn a certificate. We did three in-person trainings a year pre-pandemic in two days, 16 hours, certified. They’re online for purchase now but mostly videos. I want it more interactive trauma-informed community care throughout the system. I trained probation staff in yoga life skills. What if I train volunteers across other programs too?

I was part of something called the LA Model, transforming the whole probation institution into trauma-informed care: chefs, officers, everyone. That impact helped close one juvenile hall and build a Wellness Center. How do we change from punitive to restorative? Those are my big dreams.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Jill Ippolito: Learn what my teachers taught me. When I went to that $10 for 10 days in Silver Lake, I was not great at yoga, cussing in the mirror when I fell out of a posture. I had no balance. I’d fallen off three two-story buildings, broke my back, did physical therapy. No sense of groundedness. The yoga teachers said, “If you could just sit down….you don’t have to do every posture.” How do you begin to take care of yourself? How do you restore chaos and neglect? Go slow. Take the wins. Celebrate yourself. “Love yourself” is said a lot. What does that mean when I don’t understand it? Break it down so it’s tangible: stop fighting everybody and everything. Surrender.

I have spirituality, a God I connect to guiding me, that I trust. Not the punitive Catholic-school God I grew up with. Treat people the way you want to be treated. Stop the cycle of abuse. Don’t tolerate it. People-pleasing can interrupt healing. It’s messy. It’s not linear, two steps forward, four back. Be patient. Be gentle. This month we’re doing a 30-day self-care yoga challenge fundraiser. Supposed to do yoga every day for 30 days but it’s not fanaticism. If I don’t go that day, maybe I hug a tree. Maybe I write a love letter. Something kind that’s self-care. I need that still, today.

And one more: “Helping” isn’t the same as empowerment. I started seeing all the people wanting to help—and realized there’s a bridge between people who want to help and people who need help. How do I hook them together? That’s what our trainings do. I thought yoga was about me getting in shape, but when I do yoga, I help others in community. Healing community is heart-centered focus: get everybody on the same page and find solutions that work.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Jill Ippolito: My whole mindset changed. I didn’t know there are people who really want to help you. I thought other people were enemies. Don’t trust anybody, that’s how I grew up. It took a long time for this broken child in me to look around and go: there are people coming out of the woodwork who want to help….not just me, but others.

We work with a lot of CSEC survivors. At a symposium, an adult formerly trafficked stood up and said to the social workers and helpers: “I didn’t know there were people like you looking to help people like me.” I agreed. I thought the same. Look for the helpers because they really do show up.

So the momentum came from seeing them and then realizing: helping is not service; it’s not empowerment. We want to empower and lift up. I bridge the people who want to help with the people who need help. That’s the work: connect the yoga studio, the foster youth, the prisons, the activists. Blend everyone and offer: let’s find a solution that works. That’s healing community. That’s heart-centered focus.

And I’ll always tell the youth: yoga is a gift. No one can take it from you. You may not have a refrigerator to open. No one may be coming to pick you up. The system may be taking and taking. But you have your breath. You have your heart. In five minutes, you can inhale, hold it, exhale longer calm your nervous system and think clearly. If I never see you again, I want you to know that. That’s how I’ve changed: I trust that simple, powerful truth.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2025 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Change for Good: One Year Later

It’s hard to believe that it has been a full year since Change for Good: The Transformative Power of Giving as the Ultimate Cure was released into the world. Like most milestones, this one feels both surreal and sacred. Writing a book is a lot like giving birth…..there is anticipation, fear, excitement, exhaustion, and ultimately, immense gratitude. You spend years nurturing an idea and then one day, you let it go. You release it into the world, hoping it will find its way, touch lives, and maybe, just maybe, make a difference.

When I first began writing Change for Good, I thought I knew exactly what it would be. I had the script all mapped out in my head. the book would be a love letter to service, a guide to kindness, and a collection of stories meant to inspire others to see how small acts can create big change. I imagined how it would be received, what it might spark, and how it might ripple out into the world. But like every parent quickly learns, life rarely goes according to plan. Once the book was out in the world, it became something bigger and more profound than I could have ever imagined. I didn’t dare to dream or ever think it would be an Amazon bestseller in five categories. That one is still hard to believe…

This past year has been filled with gifts I didn’t expect. The book has been a bridge that has connected me to thousands of readers, podcast listeners, and audiences across the country who have reached out to share their stories of how Change for Good touched their hearts. I’ve had the privilege of hearing from people who decided to start volunteering, launch nonprofits, reconnect with their purpose, or simply treat the person in front of them with more compassion. Each message, each encounter, has been a reminder that kindness is contagious and that we are all far more connected than we realize.

What has humbled me most are the stories that have been shared in return. After book talks people often come up to me and say, “I have a story for you.” Then they begin to tell me about the child they lost, the battle they fought, the person they helped, or the act of grace that changed their life. These stories of service and survival, of heartbreak and healing, have been my greatest teachers. Every time I hear one, I am reminded why I wrote the book in the first place. Change for Good reminds all of us that we are not alone. We each have the power to make change for good. That act of giving is truly what binds us together as human beings.

The year has also taught me lessons I didn’t expect…..lessons about patience, faith, and surrender. I’ve learned that once you create something, it’s no longer yours. Like a child growing up and finding their way in the world, Change for Good has taken on a life of its own. The book has been used for book clubs, been quoted in sermons, used in classrooms, referenced in college term papers and leadership programs. My favorite is hearing that the book even sparked discussions at dinner tables. The messages that once lived only in my head and heart is now become part of a larger conversation about service, kindness, and the power of community. That is both humbling and awe-inspiring.

What I didn’t anticipate was how Change for Good would continue to change me. Over the past year, I’ve had to live my own message in new and deeper ways. Writing about kindness is one thing; practicing it daily, especially when life throws challenges your way, is another. There have been moments of exhaustion, doubt, and overwhelm…..times when juggling the nonprofit, the podcast, the blog, and the endless to-do lists felt like too much. But then someone would send a message saying, “Your book inspired me to serve,” or “I needed this today,” and suddenly, I would remember why it all mattered.

The truth is, this book was never just about me….it was about us. It was about shining a light on the helpers, the givers, the people who wake up every day and choose to make the world a little better. It was about telling the stories that too often go untold. And it was about showing that kindness isn’t complicated…..it’s simply love in action.

A year later, I am filled with gratitude for every reader who has shared their journey, for every nonprofit founder who has opened their heart on the Charity Matters podcast, for every person who took the time to send a note, attend a talk, or pass along a story. Each of you has been part of this incredible journey, and each of you continues to remind me that giving truly changes everything.

As I look ahead, I know that Change for Good is still growing, still evolving, and still finding new ways to connect with people. Like any living thing, it’s continuing to breathe and expand through every person who picks it up and chooses to act. My hope is that its message continues to plant seeds of service and compassion that bloom in ways we can’t yet see.

So as I celebrate one year of Change for Good, I’m not just celebrating a book…I’m celebrating the movement it represents. A movement of kindness, of purpose, of community. A reminder that no act of love, however small, ever goes unnoticed. Thank you for being part of this journey, for believing in the power of good, and for continuing to make this world a little brighter…..one act of kindness at a time.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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Episode 94: Penny’s Flight

Some stories meet you in the deepest places and still lift you higher. This week, you’ll meet Kate Doerge….wife, mother, builder of community……who turned the unthinkable loss of her daughter, Penny, into a living legacy called Penny’s Flight. What began in a cocoon of love and butterflies has become a national movement of students, families, and friends spreading wings for those living with neurofibromatosis. Kate’s pillars; finding beauty in imperfection, choosing positivity in the face of challenge, and having faith over fear…..these aren’t just slogans; they’re the way she gets up, puts both feet on the floor, and keeps going. You can feel Penny’s light in every word.

Frankie Doerge, Chad Doerge, Kate Doerge, Henry Doerge

If you’ve ever wondered how purpose is born from pain, or how one brave family can transform grief into hope for thousands, this episode is for you. Kate’s story is tender and electric, grounded and soaring….all at once. It will remind you that we always have a choice in how we play the cards we’re dealt, and that a single flutter can change the weather for someone else. Come listen, be moved, and like Penny……leave with a bigger wingspan.

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Penny’s Flight does?

Kate Doerge: Penny’s Flight exists to keep our daughter Penny’s big, beautiful light alive and to change the future for families living with neurofibromatosis (NF). NF is actually the most common genetic condition in the U.S., but it’s also one of the most underfunded. Roughly 1 in 2,500 people are affected, about 150,000 Americans, yet most people have never heard of it. Penny was diagnosed at four months old, and even then we refused to let a diagnosis define her. She lived joyfully for sixteen radiant years.

When Penny passed on November 11th, 2022, our community wrapped us in so much love that my husband and I knew we had to channel that energy into purpose. Within four weeks, we launched Penny’s Flight. Since then, wings have truly spread: we’ve raised close to $6 million, started more than a hundred student-led chapters at high schools and colleges, and rallied teams and towns around “Play for Penny” lacrosse games, “Pucks for Penny” hockey nights, bake sales…..whatever brings people together to shine a light. Our three pillars guide everything: finding beauty in imperfection, choosing positivity in the face of challenge, and having faith over fear. And our mantra, “It’s your wingspan, not your lifespan” is Penny’s message to the world.

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about Growing up? Did you have any role models that inspired you in this work?

Kate Doerge: My role models were my parents from day one. My mom was a dancer and an absolute beam of light….belly dancing, tap, jazzercise……you name it. She taught me how physical strength fuels mental strength and how movement lifts you out of darkness. My dad was a devout Catholic, a former Marine who once studied for the priesthood. From him I learned faith, service, and the belief that there’s something bigger than all of us.

Our home life wasn’t cookie-cutter. My mom might pick me up in leg warmers while other moms wore turtlenecks. We traveled to Haiti and the Dominican Republic in the 1980s, long before “service trips” were common….so I saw early what it meant to help beyond your comfort zone. That shaped me. In my career in PR and fashion, I was always asking, “Where can I make a real impact?” Those seeds of service were planted well before Penny’s diagnosis, and they sprouted the moment we needed them.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start Penny’s Flight?

Kate Doerge: I always return to my father’s advice the night before our wedding: “You will be challenged. It is up to you how you play the cards you’re dealt.” When Penny’s brain tumor, glioblastoma…..accelerated in her last two years, we chose to celebrate her life loudly. During her final week, instead of closing the doors, we opened the windows and invited everyone in. We created what I call a “love cocoon.” There were butterflies everywhere….her sign to us.

After we celebrated her life, my husband and I looked at each other and knew: we have to do something. My background is launching brands; his is finance. Our community was saying, “How can we help?” Four weeks after November 11th, we launched Penny’s Flight. It felt like Penny was our partner in it…..like she was saying, “Keep going.” Even on the day she passed, we took a family walk, got back in the car, turned the ignition, and “Walking on Sunshine”…her song blared from the radio though it hadn’t been on before. That was our first sign: move forward, one step at a time.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Kate Doerge: Grief and logistics don’t take turns. I had two sons, a husband, a home, a community of Penny’s sixteen-year-old friends who had never lost someone, and extended family…..all hurting. I felt a responsibility to lead with light, to model a path that others could follow. Practically, the challenges are familiar to every founder: building infrastructure while building momentum; sustaining funding; making noise in a noisy world. Add to that the complexity of medical research siloed efforts, niche subfields, and the realities of federal funding. Last year, NF’s federal allocation was cut; we went to Capitol Hill and advocated to restore it. It’s back on the bill for review, but advocacy never stops.

And yet the hardest challenge….turning pain into purpose….has also been our greatest teacher. Every day we choose the light. Every day we choose action.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Kate Doerge: Energy can’t be created or destroyed….it transforms. I feel Penny’s energy, and my parents’ too. I feel it in the butterflies, in the serendipities, in the way doors open at the exact moment you need them to. I also feel powered by the next generation. Students reach out constantly: “Can we host a game? A bake sale? Start a chapter?” Watching young people use social media for good….that’s rocket fuel.

Our community fuels me. Media friends like Norah O’Donnell shared our story on CBS within a week of launch, and Oprah Daily invited me to write about “playing the cards you’re dealt.” Brand partners like Veronica Beard, J.McLaughlin, Roller Rabbit asked, “What can we do?” Their platforms amplify NF awareness in ways research labs alone can’t. That collaboration…science, students, storytellers, brands….keeps me going.

Charity Matters: When do you know you have made a difference?

Kate Doerge:Impact shows up as a human story. A mom DM’d us: her four-year-old was just diagnosed with NF; she’d gone down a dark Google rabbit hole. That same day, she opened her mailbox to a J.McLaughlin invite for a Penny’s Flight event and found a different rabbit hole….hope. Months later, she organized a Blackstone Gives Back team, pitched Penny’s Flight, and won $125,000 for NF research. That’s a life changed turning into lives changed.

Another young woman with NF wrote when Roller Rabbit launched their butterfly pajamas for us. She said, “I never thought my favorite brand would support the condition I’ve lived with. I finally feel seen.” That sentence…I feel seen…that is impact.

And then there’s community: our first Penny’s Flight Family Jamboree drew 650 people….blankets on the lawn, kids running, live music on a summer night because Penny loved birthdays. We didn’t just raise funds; we raised each other.

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Kate Doerge: In two and a half years, we’ve raised close to $6 million, launched 100+ student chapters nationwide, and activated schools and teams through “Play for Penny” and “Pucks for Penny.” We’ve become a marketing engine for NF, partnering with Children’s Tumor Foundation to complement their strong scientific backbone with our storytelling and awareness. We brought leaders together at Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory’s Banbury meeting, a lock-in think tank of global experts because progress accelerates when silos come down.

On the research side, we’re funding work that’s already showing promise. For a disease as heterogeneous as NF, that means convening optic glioma experts next to cognitive researchers, next to tumor biologists, next to data scientists and pushing for shared insights rather than parallel tracks. When we measure impact, we count dollars and chapters and media reach, yes. But we also count new collaborations formed, young advocates trained, and families who no longer feel alone.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Kate Doerge: It’s not a dream….I feel it in my bones: we will find a cure for NF. That conviction is why I pour the same determination I once poured into giving Penny the fullest life into this mission. The roadmap is clear: sustained funding, coordinated research, relentless awareness, and a movement of people who believe that wings scattered from a thousand small actions can change the weather.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Kate Doerge: First, we always have a choice in how we play the cards we’re dealt. That wisdom from my dad has become a daily practice. Choose to move literally. Put your feet on the floor. One step. Then the next. Small, actionable steps carry you through the mud of grief.

Second, look for the signs. They’re real. Butterflies on the window in November. A radio that wasn’t on suddenly playing “Walking on Sunshine.” When you keep your eyes open, you realize our loved ones are with us differently, but powerfully.

Third, collaboration is oxygen. In research, in advocacy, in community building, the magic happens when we invite everyone to the table….scientists, students, brands, media, families. We each bring a wing to the flight.

Fourth, service multiplies. The “butterfly effect” is not just a metaphor….it’s a strategy. A student chapter post turns into a game night turns into a grant turns into a lab experiment turns into a breakthrough. Tiny flutters, big weather.

Finally, positivity is not denial; it’s discipline. Choosing beauty in imperfection and faith over fear doesn’t erase pain. It transforms it into purpose.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Kate Doerge: Three years ago, I couldn’t have imagined this life….writing a book, speaking about reimagining grief, launching workshops to help others navigate adversity and midlife reinvention, stewarding a national movement in Penny’s name. I used to search for the “one client” that would let me move the needle; now I see that the needle is people, and the work is love organized.

I am more certain, more grounded, and oddly, more joyful. I feel accompanied by Penny, by my parents, by a community that believes in light. I’ve learned that grief and gratitude can share a sentence. I’ve learned that teenagers can be fierce world-changers. I’ve learned that when you open your doors in the hardest week of your life, you teach an entire community how to love without fear.

Most of all, I’ve learned that it’s our wingspan…how far we’re willing to reach for others…that measures a life.Penny taught me that. Now it’s my job to help the world learn it too.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2025 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

PodcaStars Magazine

Being a cover girl……or even a back cover girl….was never on my vision board. I’m actually laughing as I write this because I have a few girlfriends who were real, honest-to-goodness Cover Girls. You know, the kind with perfect hair, perfect lighting, and perfect poses. Meanwhile, I’m over here absolutely thrilled to be what I’m calling an “Actual Back Cover Girl.” Is that even a thing? Well, I guess it is now…

In full disclosure, discovering that I was featured on the back cover of this month’s PodcaStars Magazine was such an unexpected and truly lovely surprise. It’s one of those moments that makes you stop, smile, and think, Wow, how did I get here? I never set out to be on any kind of cover. I set out to tell stories that matter …. stories about people who give, who serve, who make our world a little better. But life has a funny way of surprising us when we’re busy doing what we love.

A few weeks ago, I received a note from my publisher, She Rises Studios, the same amazing team who published my book Change for Good. They asked if they could interview me about my podcasting journey for their October issue of PodcaStars Magazine. Of course, I said yes ….. I’m always happy to share how The Charity Matters Podcast began and why shining a light on everyday heroes has become one of the greatest joys of my life. What I didn’t expect was to end up on the back cover of the magazine.

Behind this beautiful surprise is a woman whose story inspires me deeply ….. Hanna Olivas, the founder of She Rises Studios. Hanna is a nonprofit founder on a mission to help women find their voice and use it. She’s built an incredible ecosystem of empowerment ……a streaming network, a powerhouse publishing team, and multiple magazines, including PodcaStars. Each one is designed to lift others, to amplify voices, and to encourage women to stand in their power.

But Hanna’s heart for service reaches far beyond media. She also founded The Brave and Beautiful Blood Cancer Foundation, a nonprofit that supports patients and families facing blood cancers. Her organization goes beyond awareness …. it builds personal connections, offers emotional and financial support, and brings hope to families in their darkest moments. Hanna is a mother, a grandmother, a multi-time author, and one of the most genuine, uplifting women I’ve ever met. She is a living, breathing example of what it means to use your gifts to serve others.

So, when someone like Hanna asks you to share your story, you say yes …..because she embodies everything Charity Matters stands for. She believes, as I do, that storytelling has the power to change lives. Every story of kindness, resilience, and compassion has a ripple effect. It reminds us that good still exists …..and that we can all be part of it.

I’ll admit, seeing myself in PodcaStars Magazine made me reflect a little …..  but because it reminded me how far this journey has come. What started as a small blog about philanthropy and purpose has grown into a podcast, a book, and now a movement…..all centered on one simple belief: that giving changes everything.

I know the print is tiny, so if you want to actually see the story, you can grab a digital copy of the magazine here. Or, if you’re like me, you’re probably reading this on your phone or iPad, squinting and pinching the screen to make it bigger. Either way, I’m just so grateful to share this message of service with a new audience.

And of course, I always share everything exciting with you. You’ve been on this journey with me for almost fifteen years …. through family milestones, loss, leadership, and endless stories of goodness. So thank you for being part of this community, for showing up week after week, and for believing in this mission of service.

I often say I don’t have a therapist… I have you. You tell me how you feel, what you love (and sometimes what you don’t!), and you keep me honest, grounded, and true to my mission of helping the helpers. Together, we’ve built something extraordinary …. a community that believes kindness still matters.

So yes, maybe I’m a Back Cover Girl now and I’m pretty sure that won’t make my headstone:) …but more importantly, I’m still right where I’ve always wanted to be: sharing stories that inspire, celebrating those who serve, and reminding us all that the secret to living is giving.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2025 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

How did we get here?

For almost fifteen years, I have been sharing my journey here each week……through life, love, loss, family, faith, philanthropy, and everything in between. There isn’t much we haven’t covered in all of these years. But today, this is a first for me……and for us. A topic we’ve somehow never explored together: marriage and weddings.

This past weekend, our family celebrated one of life’s greatest blessings…..our son’s wedding. Even as I write those words, I can hardly believe they are real. The day felt like something out of a dream, filled with joy, tears, laughter, and a love so pure it radiated through every moment.

As my husband and I stood at the back of the aisle, arm in arm, ready to walk toward our son and his beautiful bride, I looked up at him and whispered, “How did we get here?” He smiled, squeezed my hand, and without missing a beat said, “I asked you on a date.”

And just like that, the tears came. Because he was right. That one question so many years ago set in motion a chain of love that led to this exact moment….our son waiting for his bride, a new family beginning, a new chapter unfolding.

When I began Charity Matters, my three boys were in elementary and middle school. I’m not even sure Google existed back then! During that time, you’ve watched our family grow up right here on these pages. You cried with me through the Last Lunch, The Last Pass and So Many Last Every milestone felt monumental, every transition bittersweet. And each time, we asked the same question: “How did we get here?” Followed quickly by, “Wow, that went so fast.”

It’s funny looking back now. Each stage of parenting felt like the summit…..the great challenge that would finally lead us to rest. We thought elementary school was hard until middle school came. Then we thought high school was the finish line….surely, graduation was the final hurdle! I remember turning to my husband that night, tears streaming down my face, and saying, “How did we get here? Weren’t they just born yesterday?”

And yet, as any parent knows, life has a way of humbling you. You realize that the “end” of one season is merely the beginning of another. You send them off to college, thinking your job is mostly done…..only to learn that parenting never really ends, it just changes shape.

In what feels like the blink of an eye, our boys were out of college, working, building lives of their own. We didn’t think much about what came next. We were simply grateful they were healthy, happy, and finding their way.

But here’s the thing I’ve learned over the years…..and it’s one of the hardest truths for parents to swallow: from the moment our children are born, we start writing a script for their lives. We don’t tell them this, of course, and most of the time, we don’t even say it out loud to ourselves. But it’s there….quietly playing in the background of our minds.

In my version of the script, my boys would grow up to be kind and successful, find good friends, rewarding work with purpose, and eventually, someone wonderful to love. My script had a timeline, too. You know the one….finish school, meet someone nice, fall in love, get married, buy a house, have children. Perfectly linear, perfectly planned.

And then, as life does, it laughed at my plan.

There were detours, heartbreaks, and lessons I never saw coming. There were moments when I silently protested, “This isn’t how the story is supposed to go!” But with time….and a lot of prayer…I realized that the story I was trying to write wasn’t mine to write. My children’s lives are their own stories, not chapters in mine.

It took me years to see it clearly, but once I did, it was freeing. My job was never to control the story, but to love them through it….to trust that the Author of all things had a far better script in mind than I ever could. And as I stood in the most beautiful setting this weekend, watching our son waiting for his bride, I could see how true that was.

Because their story….the one they are writing together….is more beautiful than anything I could have dreamed up.

The moment she walked down the aisle, time stopped. I looked at his face, his eyes brimming with tears, and saw not just my son, but the man he has become…kind, compassionate, faithful, and deeply in love. A man ready to build a life with someone who matches his heart. As he said his vows, tears flowed from his brother’s eyes and everyone else’s because their love was just so beautiful, real and palpable.

Our new daughter-in-law is everything I could have ever hoped for him…graceful, grounded, smart, strong and full of light. She fits into our family like she’s been part of it all along. As I watched them exchange vows, I thought about how, all those years ago, when we were the ones standing there saying “I do,” we had no idea what those words would come to mean.

Marriage is not just a day….it’s a daily choice. It’s the decision, every morning, to show up with love, humility, and grace. It’s choosing to grow together through the seasons, to forgive, to celebrate, to serve one another even when it’s hard. It’s the promise that your story is no longer “mine” or “yours,” but “ours.”

As parents, witnessing that moment is indescribable. It’s joy and nostalgia all mixed together….the ache of letting go and the awe of seeing something new begin. I thought about all the nights I tucked him into bed, all the prayers whispered for his future, and how many of those prayers were answered in that moment.

Later that night, as we danced beneath the Tahoe stars, I looked around the room at the sea of faces…family, friends, people who had loved him since he was little….and it hit me again: How did we get here?

How did we get from those early mornings of tying tiny shoes to tying a bow tie? From bedtime stories to wedding toasts? From Legos to love stories? The years have moved like the pages of a book….some chapters long, some heartbreakingly short, all filled with meaning.

When the band played the final song, I held my husband’s hand and whispered those same words we’ve said so many times before: “How did we get here?” But this time, there was no disbelief in my voice….just gratitude. Because the answer was clear.

We got here through love.

Through every sleepless night, every prayer, every football game and scraped knee, every graduation, every heartbreak, every dinner at the kitchen table, every “I love you.”

We got here through grace….through the quiet, unseen moments when we trusted that even when we couldn’t see the plan, there was one.

And we got here through joy…..the kind that sneaks up on you in the middle of a crowded dance floor when you realize that life, in all its messiness and beauty, has led you exactly where you are meant to be.

As the weekend came to a close and we said our goodbyes, I felt a deep sense of peace. Not the kind that comes from everything being perfect, but the kind that comes from knowing that everything is right.

Parenting, I’ve learned, is a lifelong act of surrender. It’s learning to let go over and over again….of control, of expectations, of the idea that we know best. And in that letting go, we make room for something even more beautiful: watching our children step fully into their own lives, their own love, their own purpose.

So yes, once again, I find myself asking, “How did we get here?” But this time, I know the answer.

We got here because of love…..the love that began with a simple date so many years ago, the love that built our family, and the love that now continues through the next generation.

We got here by walking each step….sometimes with confidence, sometimes with tears…..but always with love.

And now, it’s their turn. Their turn to walk hand in hand, to build a life together, to write their own story.

As for us, we’ll be right here on the sidelines….cheering, supporting, loving and every now and then, still whispering the same words that have followed us through every chapter of this journey:

How did we get here?

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2025 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Episode 93: PopDrop

Some stories grab you by the heart from the very first line. John Snyder’s begins on a first date with his wife, Nikki, when the two of them decided to do something radically simple: instead of sending candy to their toner customers, they’d use that money to feed people experiencing homelessness. That small act became Project Pop Drop. A monthly movement  that rallies “givefluencers” to bring meals, new socks and clothing, and joy-filled experiences to shelters across Los Angeles. Today, Pop Drop is more than a delivery….it’s Easter bunnies and race cars for kids, partners who show up with food and gift cards, and even tiny homes that help families move from encampments into dignity and safety.

What makes John’s story unforgettable is his families full circle story.  I had the privilege of meeting John and his wife Nikki last week and they are a power couple in the best sense of the term. This week’s episode is a shot of hope and action, packed with contagious energy, hard-won wisdom, and tangible ways to help. If you’ve been looking for a reason to believe that giving changes everything…and how you can be part of it…don’t miss this conversation with John Snyder of Project Pop Drop.

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Pop Drop does?

John Snyder:  Project Pop Drop Foundation is something my wife, Nikki, and I founded on our very first date. We have a for-profit company…..Platinum International Products & Services…..and someone pitched us one of those “send chocolates and candies to every customer” programs, like Office Depot and Staples. We decided we didn’t want to do that. We wanted to save that money and buy food for people experiencing homelessness. What started as a simple program inside our toner business has blossomed into a nonprofit.

Since 2011, once a month, we go to a different homeless shelter and bring life-saving supplies and partners with us. Bombas donates socks. Whole Foods helps. Raising Cane’s is a big partner—they help feed people and share gift cards so folks can buy food later. Target’s a partner too. We call the people and companies who come with us givefluencers….we trademarked that……because they’re influencing the world by their giving actions.

Over time we’ve evolved. Nikki builds the days into experiences—Easter Bunny visits, race cars for kids living at the shelter, face paint, laser tag……so a hard season can include some joy and smiles. In the early years we’d just drop food. Now our customers and partners come with us, bring supplies, put Pop Drop boxes in their car dealerships and hotels, and give alongside us.

We’ve also grown into housing. We have seven Project Pop Drop tiny homes that are moving families from encampments into safety. Each has a door, a lock; on-site there are washers, dryers, showers, and games. All of this came from deciding not to send M&M’s to toner customers and, instead, to feed human beings.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start  Pop Drop?

John Snyder:  I’m an LA person, big Laker fan. As a kid, birthdays meant my dad took me to the Forum. Once, on the way, I mouthed off……I said something dumb like, “We don’t live that well.” He got mad, drove me to Skid Row, and showed me people sleeping in cardboard boxes. “Dad, people are living in those?” “Yeah. You’ve got it pretty good, don’t you, Johnny?” Right then I said, “When I grow up, I’m going to help those people somehow.”

Years later we did our first Pop Drop at Union Rescue Mission on Skid Row. I told my mom, “We’re going to give back every month” and she started crying. I asked why. She said, “Don’t say anything, but my father was homeless…..at Union Rescue Mission.” I never met him. He had a drinking problem and left when she was 12. I had no idea. We had started Pop Drop at the very place where my grandfather had been homeless. Full circle. That’s when I knew everything was connected and I was on the path I promised as a kid.

On our first date in Century City, Nikki and I said, “Let’s go every month.” Instead of customer gifts, we’d bring food and companies. She asked, “What’s the name?” I said, “I don’t want to show off.” She said, “If you want to expand and get people on board, make the giving pile bigger, you have to name it.” She pushed me. We named it, built donation boxes, and got them into our clients’ businesses. She said, “Make it an experience. You can’t just drop food and leave.” That’s how Pop Drop really began….organically and from the heart.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

John Snyder:  We’ve got four kids….triplets and our superstar daughter, Chloe….and we’ve brought them to shelters since they were six months old. In those early nonprofit years, we’d roll the triplets in this long “limousine stroller,” food piled around them, and meet other businesses bringing donations. We’ve been to Skid Row more times than I can count. I’ve had the car swarmed while delivering supplies, people yelling not-nice things through the window while my kids watched. We had to explain: “Don’t take it personally. This is about pain and survival. We’re here to help.”

COVID was the biggest challenge. LAUSD is a big partner; they run donation drives and have our boxes in schools. Suddenly the world shut down. People were told, “Don’t go to shelters.” Meanwhile, shelters are some of the cleanest places you’ll ever see. The whole distribution system, our nonprofit supply chain, broke. We pivoted to Zoom. Students made videos to get donations from families and parents’ workplaces. Wildly enough, during COVID we brought more donations doing it on Zoom than in person. So we kept going.

There was also the noise on social. “Oh, they’re still going to shelters.” “I saw them without a mask.” People were on their couch, and we were out making things happen with Zoom drives, deliveries, feeding people. That pushback actually fueled us. We weren’t going to stop helping people. Period.

Another challenge was resources. People kept saying, “Walmart put your Pop Drop boxes in their stores. Did you know they’ll give grants if you’re a nonprofit?” We became a 501(c)(3) in 2018/2019. That move helped when donations dropped everywhere; Walmart and Target support enabled us to buy more supplies and expand. We never had a grand plan. Things kept falling into place because we kept showing up every month.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

John Snyder: I like helping people. I like seeing faces when you help them. I like talking with people, giving hope and showing someone that somebody still cares. I’ve been in rough spots where people helped me, and I know what that means in the moment. It can be everything.

I love that we’re giving back and showing our kids…..and our kids are inspiring other kids. It’s contagious. I love when friends and business associates come with us and afterward say, “John, I’m so thankful we went. We’ve been looking for a way to give back.” People want to help; they just don’t always know how. We say, “Come with us.” That’s givefluencing…..bringing others into the act so the giving pile gets bigger.

And when people tell you to stop doing something you know you’re supposed to be doing? That fuels me too. If everyone had stopped during COVID because they were told to, a lot of people wouldn’t have eaten. We kept going. Educating others fuels me as well…..our online course, Giving While Making a Living, teaches businesses to pick a cause and create a simple monthly social responsibility system. Keep it turnkey: name it, pick the last Saturday at 12 o’clock, show up. If you don’t make it simple, you become a “Thanksgiving and Christmas philanthropist.” We’re about consistent, monthly giving.

Charity Matters: When do you know you have made a difference?

John Snyder:  When customers say, “We know we can buy toner cheaper on Amazon, but we choose you because of Pop Drop,” that’s impact. When companies ask, “How can we get involved?” and then start collecting donations, put boxes in their lobbies, and show up at shelters to make an impact. When a friend or client brings their team and says afterward, “We’ve been looking for this,” I know we made a difference.

I’ve watched kids inspire other kids. I’ve seen donations surge because a middle-schooler made a Zoom video. I’ve seen a day at a shelter turn from “drop and go” into an experience where kids in tough situations are laughing, gaming, and smiling. That’s difference you can feel.

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

John Snyder: Since before we were a nonprofit and now as the Project Pop Drop Foundation, we’ve helped contribute to feeding over 90,000 meals per month to people experiencing homelessness. Every month. That’s a big highlight.

We’ve empowered thousands of businesses “our givefluencers” to give back with us. We’ve expanded partnerships: Bombas, Whole Foods, Raising Cane’s, Target, Dave & Buster’s, LAUSD, and Impact 13. We’ve built seven tiny homes to move families from encampments into safety with a lock, a shower, a washer and dryer, and dignity.

We’ve been recognized along the way. We received a Gold Medal which is the President’s Volunteer Service Award from the White House. We were invited to the Pentagon because they liked Pop Drop. Walmart put our boxes in stores. Each of those moments opened doors to expand the giving.

But the thing I’m proudest of is the evolution from dropping supplies to creating experiences that bring joy and connection. That’s Pop Drop.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

John Snyder:  My dream is to change the way the world does business. I want every company to start a program within their business…..like we did before Pop Drop was a nonprofit…..where every single month they give back. Do it for the cause that’s close to your heart, homelessness or anything else, but do it monthly. Make it part of your DNA. I’d love to see extra tax credit incentives tied to that monthly commitment. I want a world full of givefluencers…..people influencing the world through giving actions.

Our course, Giving While Making a Living, helps push that into reality. A woman in Wisconsin bought it and finally started the nonprofit she’d dreamed about serving kids traumatized in childhood. I held her hand through it: naming, logo, shirts, accountability. Most people watch a course, get pumped, and Monday morning do nothing. We want action. I want to figure out how to scale that….maybe through something like the SBA….so more businesses step into monthly giving.

We have something special with “givefluencer.” There’s so much we can do to fuel more life from saving supplies and empowering more businesses to give. If we find that one big thinker, that magical person who sees what Pop Drop is and what it can be and helps us expand it. I’m ready to receive that partner.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

John Snyder: Everything is connected. You can live within your life’s purpose without it being the only thing you do. It’s perspective: a young punk kid says, “We don’t live that well,” and a dad drives to Skid Row to show cardboard homes; that kid says, “I’m going to help,” and later he does at the exact place his grandfather, who he never met, was once homeless. Full circle.

The lesson is to keep my eye on the giving prize. Name it. Show up monthly. Make it simple so it’s sustainable. Invite others so the pile grows. Remember why you started….people, not programs. Keep it real and keep it consistent, or you drift into being that “Thanksgiving and Christmas philanthropist.” We’ve seen that a simple, turnkey system like “last Saturday of the month at 12” is what actually keeps the giving going.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

John Snyder: It’s made me a nicer person. In business I used to be “sell, sell, sell”…..numbers, aggressive, go-go-go. We still have numbers in nonprofit, but Pop Drop humanized me. When you start something and discover your mom’s father was homeless in the very building where you began your giving, it’s hard not to see a higher purpose in that. This journey made me more faithful. It shifted me from feeding printers to feeding people, from transactions to connection, from me to we. And I don’t plan on stopping.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2025 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Finding the Light

For almost 15 years every Sunday I have sat down to share a few thoughts. Most weeks the words flow from my fingers and I can’t seem to get my thoughts out quick enough. This week the thoughts are slow. The words are few and I’m still processing so much going on in our world as a larger context as well as in my own.

The irony is not lost on me that I wrote a best-selling book Change for Good and yet as I see so much change ahead of me I am scared, excited, nervous and unsure. As I wrote last year, “change always begins with loss.” There is so much loss happening all around me that I struggle to process it all. Those heavy feelings are like walking through mud as you try to make sense of everything. Each step heavy and unsteady because the path is not clear. It is too hard to see and so you trust as you slowly walk each deep and heavy step.

Somehow you believe. You have faith in something bigger. In the kindness of people, in the goodness we show to one another and so you move forward into an unknown place. That faith acts like a flashlight as you navigate a new and unexplored path forward. You have not been this way before. You do not know the way but you have your faith…your flashlight to guide you, to light the way and to bring you from darkness into the light.

When I wrote Change for Good, I never claimed to have all the answers. What I did know then, and what I still know now, is that life guarantees us seasons of change. Sometimes we choose them….like a new job, a marriage, or a move….and sometimes they choose us, whether through loss, illness, or unexpected events. Either way, change asks us to let go of what we know in order to step into what we don’t. That is never easy.

What makes it bearable is the reminder that none of us walks through it alone. In the book, I shared stories of people who took their own moments of heartbreak and used them as a catalyst to create something good. That theme has echoed back to me countless times from readers who wrote to say, “I thought I was the only one.” None of us is the only one. We all walk this muddy road of loss, grief, hope, and renewal. The flashlight we carry……faith, kindness, connection…..is what keeps us going until the ground feels steady again.

Lately, I have been reminding myself of one of the simplest truths I wrote about: kindness heals. When the world feels overwhelming, when the future feels uncertain, when I feel small in the face of so much loss, the antidote is often simple. It is in writing a note to a friend, holding a door open, saying thank you, showing up for someone else. Each small act is a reminder that even in the midst of chaos, we still have power……the power to love, to give, to create light.

That is what Change for Good has always been about. Not grand gestures, not sweeping reform, not changing the whole world at once. It is about the small, intentional acts of love and service that ripple outward in ways we may never see. It is about choosing, over and over again, to believe that our actions matter. That our light matters. That even when the road is muddy and uncertain, we can still place one foot in front of the other.

I know I am not the only one feeling the weight of change right now. Perhaps you are in your own season of transition. Maybe you too are carrying loss, fear, or uncertainty. If so, I want to remind you of what I often need to remind myself: you are not walking this road alone. We are walking it together, carrying our flashlights of faith and kindness, helping each other find the path.

The title Change for Good was always a double meaning. Change can be hard, yes, but it can also be for good….for the better. Good for our growth, good for our healing, good for the world. When we use the change in our lives to serve others, to lift them up, to bring light where there was darkness, we transform not just our own story but the larger story we are all part of.

So as I sit here with my slow words and heavy heart, I remind myself of the truth I wrote and believe: change is never easy, but it is always an invitation. An invitation to trust, to grow, to love, and ultimately to change for good.

And maybe, just maybe, that is enough light for today.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2025 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Episode 92: Shoulder Check

 

In the past fifteen years, I have not resent the same interview twice in one week. However, when I orginally scheduled this to be delivered last Thursday, September 11th I didn’t foresee all that would transpire the day before. The assassination of Charlie Kirk followed by the 24th anniversary of September 11th created so much noise that this very special story might have been missed. So, yes if you are seeing this twice it is intentional because I want you to have a bright light on your Sunday morning. Something to start your week to remind you of all the good in this world. So here you go….once again…

 In full disclosure, I know very little about hockey….especially as an LA girl…..but what I do know is that rare and extraordinary group of people who take unimaginable loss and somehow transform it into a mission for good. Today’s guest, Rob Thorsen, is one of those people. After the heartbreaking loss of his son Hayden, Rob chose to honor his memory by spreading kindness and compassion in the most powerful way.

Drawing from Hayden’s love of hockey, Rob used the term “Shoulder Check” not just as a sports reference but as the cornerstone for a movement. What began as a nod to the game has become a beautiful legacy of connection and care. Shoulder Check is about more than hockey…..it’s a mission and a movement about reaching out, checking in, and making contact with those around us. Rob’s story is one of resilience, love, and the reminder that even in the deepest grief, we can create something profoundly good. Take a listen and you will want to be a part of this…

 

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what ShoulderCheck.ORG does?

Rob Thorsen:  ShoulderCheck.org is the first initiative of the HT40 Foundation, which we created to do one simple, specific thing: inspire and enable young people to check in on one another…regularly. We give them the language, tools, and motivation to make “checking in” a daily habit. The culture we’re pushing against is that paradox the U.S. Surgeon General called out in April 2023: we’re hyper-connected by tech, yet lonelier and more isolated than ever. Shoulder Check is our answer.

It started in hockey, our son Hayden played, and the community rallied around us after his death but it quickly became bigger than a sport. The signature gesture is literal: hand on a shoulder, paired with the refrain, “Reach out. Check in. Make contact.” We do this in locker rooms, at center ice, in school assemblies, classrooms, and community events. The goal is behavior change through a simple ritual and a shared brand language…something memorable enough to spread, practical enough to use, and human enough to matter.

Charity Matters: What were your early experiences in PHILANTHROPY?

Rob Thorsen: I didn’t come up through a lifetime of traditional volunteerism; I came out of marketing and advertising. I ran ad agencies. My wife did, too. Ideas, brand-building, behavior change….that’s our professional DNA. After we lost Hayden, I didn’t set out to “become a nonprofit founder.” I set out to develop an idea that could help people the way Hayden helped people….by making contact.

In that sense, Shoulder Check “just happens” to be a nonprofit vehicle. It is, first and foremost, an idea carried by a brand and a toolkit. From day one we treated it like a serious creative brief. Our team (pro bono) built language, design, rituals, and programs the way we would any world-class brand……with clarity, consistency, and heart.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start ShoulderCheck.org?

Rob Thorsen: When Hayden died by suicide in May 2022, our lives were instantly and permanently altered. The first feeling was compulsion: we have to do something. I reached out to a national mental-health nonprofit whose executive director told me, bluntly, “Leave interventions to the professionals.” It stung, but at the same time, it focused me. She was right: I’m not an interventionist. I am a professional in another realm.

A few months later I sketched a simple thought in a notebook: “I have a hand to give. I could use a hand.” That became our north star. We began gathering with 30–70 kids at a time, at home, at the community center and iterating together. We wanted this to be everyone’s idea, not mine. The first crystallized concept to emerge was Shoulder Check: make kindness a contact sport, give everyone a role in the dialogue, and make the ask actionable.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Rob Thorsen: Processing grief and launching a nonprofit at the same time…..there’s no handbook for that. You’re building a startup out of a garage emotionally and literally, while processing the heaviest thing you’ll ever carry. We’re not clinicians. We’re not event producers. Yet we’re running programs and putting on major events because that’s what the idea requires to spread.

Operationally, the work is exhausting….production, follow-up, stakeholder care, constant outreach. Conceptually, the challenge is staying disciplined: we’re not trying to “do everything mental health.” We’re doing one thing well which is equipping friends to check on friends. The saving grace is that the idea is a virtuous circle. The very act of placing a hand on a shoulder….giving or receiving….feeds the work that sustains us.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Rob Thorsen: The stories. Constantly. We hear from people who finally knew how to start a hard conversation and did it……and from people who were struggling and felt their friends show up. Nearly everyone will accept help from a friend; Shoulder Check gives those friends simple language and a moment to step in.

And the ritual itself is its own therapy. When hundreds or thousands of people put hands on shoulders and say “Reach out. Check in. Make contact,” there’s a tangible lift in the room. You feel the possibility of a culture shift……one conversation at a time.

Charity Matters: When do you know you have made a difference?

Rob Thorsen: I know it in two ways. First, in the micro: when a young kid writes to say, “I went home and checked on someone because of Shoulder Check….and it mattered.” Or, “My friends came to me, and I didn’t feel alone.” That’s the point.

Second, in the macro moments. At our events, 2,500 people….families, players, kids….all link up and speak the refrain together. You watch the posture in the building change. You hear “Lean on Me” sung by an arena and feel the message land. Those moments are catalytic….but they exist to seed a million small, private ones later: on buses, in bleachers, down hallways, at kitchen tables.

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Rob Thorsen: We launched the idea with the Shoulder Check Showcase in August 2023; this year we hosted our third annual showcase. It’s a community-run charity game anchored by NHL players who’ve believed in the mission from day one….people like Chris Kreider, Kevin Shattenkirk, Trevor Zegras, and many others who donate a week of their time to play, meet kids, sign, and amplify the message.

Each year, 2,500 people pack the arena. Before the puck drops, everyone places a hand on a neighbor’s shoulder and repeats our refrain. The response has been overwhelming…..an emotional jolt you can see and hear. This year, New York Rangers anthem singer John Brancy performed the National Anthem and led a “Lean on Me” sing-along. The NHL, the NHLPA, teams, and media have all helped carry the message; we’ve appeared on Good Morning America two years running. The Showcase fuels grassroots adoption…..teams, schools, and communities taking the toolkit and making it theirs. That’s the impact we care about most: replication and daily habit.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Rob Thorsen: I want Shoulder Check to become cultural shorthand for empathy…..like a color you instantly associate with a cause. Think Komen’s pink for women’s health or Movember’s mustache for men’s health. Our teal-aqua should say “kindness, connection, and awareness.” Not as a merch play, but as a signal that prompts action: check on someone right now.

I imagine late-August/September activations timed to back-to-school and fall sports….teams, classrooms, clubs, workplaces…….all making commitments to one another. I want the toolkit to be accessible and flexible: bake sales, 5Ks, pre-game rituals, morning meetings…..however a community wants to manifest it. We’re not raising dollars for a lab; we’re raising awareness for each other. If Shoulder Check becomes the universal cue for “I’m here…..let’s talk,” that’s the dream.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Rob Thorsen: I’ve learned presence over control. In the immediate aftermath, your mind tries to script the unanswerable: Why did this happen? What will my life be a year from now? You can’t solve those questions. What you can do is show up….in this hour, with these people, for this work. When you do that, you give yourself something better than certainty: integrity.

I talk a lot about reflection vs. regret. Reflection is learning from what happened while knowing you did the best you could in the moment. Regret is knowing you didn’t. The line between them is presence. If we keep showing up as honestly as we can, we can live with the outcomes, even the imperfect ones, because we’re learning forward.

And I’ve learned about duality. The loss doesn’t lessen, but growth helps you understand where that loss lives with you. New people come into your life, new work emerges, and you hold both pain and purpose at once. That duality has become the constant: grief and goodness side by side. There is peace in knowing something beautiful can grow from tragedy, even if the sorrow never leaves.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Rob Thorsen: This experience has changed me completely. I sometimes think of myself in three chapters: original Rob 1.0, then Rob 2.0 after Hayden’s death, and now something new….a version who carries both. I wouldn’t say I live in the world in a totally different way, but I see differently. A part of me that was smaller before has been amplified. The idea itself feels like Hayden. Shoulder Check is Hayden. So I feel a duty of care, as if tending this work is tending him.

That sense of duality shapes me too. Pain and purpose live together now. When I watch a stadium of people place hands on shoulders and say our refrain, I think: How did this happen? It’s beautiful, and it’s born of heartbreak. Holding those together has become who I am.

And practically, I’ve changed in how I manage time, people, and vision. We’ve been naïve in believing that a good idea will just travel….and in many ways, that faith has worked. But we’re also at the point where we need to manage like a real business, with intention and sustainability. It’s a “big small business,” and its next stage requires maturity. That responsibility makes me a different leader and a different person.

Ultimately, the change is clarity. Less time for what doesn’t matter, more devotion to what does. More comfort in knowing that if I keep showing up honestly, this work and Hayden’s legacy will keep growing. And if my legacy is simply that people checked in on one another more often, that would be a life well-lived.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

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