Happy Valentine’s Day! I know this isn’t a typical Valentine’s Day post but it is a love letter of sorts. Last week I attended my aunt’s funeral. Most of us have attended more than a few funerals but there were some things that struck me about this one that I thought were worth sharing. My Aunt Sue’s funeral was a reminder of how to live.

While listening to the eulogy, I couldn’t help but think of the Netflixs show The Blue Zones.  In case you missed it, the “Blue Zones” are areas with the highest rate of people living beyond the age of one hundred. They studied these centurions and discovered some things they have in common. My aunt seemed to have the Blue Zone secret by living a joyful, loving, productive and happy life. Hearing about her life reminded me what a real legacy is. 

What struck me the most about my aunt’s service was how many people were there. She was 87 years old when she died and she filled the church….and you can see it wasn’t a small church. Of course her large Irish Catholic family of siblings, children, grandchildren, a great grandchild, nieces and nephews took a few pews but it was her friends and a whole lot of them who showed up to remember my terrific aunt that was so inspiring.

When you are raised in a wolf pack of seven you always belong to a tribe. Coming from a tribe of seven children you go out of your way to make sure everyone else feels like they belong to the pack or at least she did. There was always room at the table for one more. Family and community were everything to her. She made family and friends her priority.

My aunt cared about people. She sent cards, wrote notes and she showed up for you in life. She was there for everything important no matter what. A few years ago, I was giving the commencement speech at the high school she and I both attended, she was there. I live in Southern California, she lived in Northen California, it didn’t matter. My aunt was there and was eighty at the time. She cared and showed up.

It was more than showing up it was giving. At eighty something my aunt took on a new language, Spanish. She wanted to learn Spanish so she could be a better volunteer at one of the many places she gave her time too. Her Spanish teacher offered to host the funeral reception and not because she was a great student but because she was great. My aunt was a helper and a giver. She worked her whole life and in her retirement she worked even harder as a volunteer. It was her purpose to have a sense of community and connection. She never stopped giving or learning.

My aunt was a gardener. She loved her gardens and was always joyful, practical and so happy that everyone could enjoy the beauty she created in her gardens. I’d never thought of it before but people who gardeners are natural caretakers. They have patience, they nurture, appreciate beauty and they strive to make life around them better for everyone. She made life beautiful.

The only thing that wasn’t mentioned but I will mention it here. My aunt got up at 5am everyday and worked out and this was way before Jane Fonda. She exercised long before it was trendy and her dedication to her health was beyond inspiring. My aunt knew that you can not take care of anyone if you haven’t taken care of yourself.  She made health and exercise a priority. 

While I will dearly miss my Aunt Sue I am beyond grateful for the legacy she left us in how to live. That is the best love letter and Valentines Day gift of all…a life well lived.




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