I hope that 2022 is off to a terrific start. Our incredible crew here at Charity Matters (Emma, Jack, and Ana Sofia) have worked so hard pushing out stories all last year. It seemed like a great time for all of us to take a winter break. We are taking a little hiatus to rest, regroup, and hit the reset button. We are getting so excited for Season Three of the Charity Matters Podcastthat will be out later this month.
In the meantime, I encourage you to catch up on old episodes and tune back into your favorite episodes of our podcastthis month! If you have any favorite nonprofits or know a nonprofit founder that you think would make a great guest for next season don’t hesitate to send us an email or DM us on Instagram. We love all of your suggestions.
Until then, know that we are excited for what’s ahead in 2022 and can’t wait to introduce you to some inspirational humans who make our world better. Hope you are as excited as we are…
Charity Matters
YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT, IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER.
As we wrap up Season Two of our podcast, I can think of no greater guest than todays to conclude this inspirational season. Lori Barr is no stranger to inspirational seasons because much of her life has been based around her now-famous son’s inspirational football seasons. Lori is the proud mother of NFL Minnesota Viking’s outside linebacker, Anthony Barr. However, it is much more than his football career that makes her proud, it is Anthony’s work to serve others with their nonprofit, Raise The Barr that is truly inspiring.
Photo cred- Janae Johnson photography
Join us today for an incredible conversation with Lori Barr about her journey as a single mother to nonprofit founder. Lori shares her story of raising Anthony as a young mother and how they decided to give back to help other single moms finish their education and support their families. She is pure sunshine and inspiration, it is a conversation you don’t want to miss.
Here are a few highlights from our conversation:
Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Raise The Barr does?
Lori Barr: Raise The Barr’smission is to increase opportunity and economic mobility for single parents, students, and their children through education. What that looks like, is providing holistic resources and support to low-income single parents, students who are in pursuit of a post-secondary degree training certification. The end goal of securing a career that offers a family-sustaining wage. We know that education is one pathway out of poverty. So that’s the road that we’ve taken because it was inspired by our own experiences.
Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start Raise The BARR?
Lori Barr: It’s kind of a combination of a whole lot of things and an intersection of all these life experiences that brought us to this point. Growing up Catholic, we were always taught very, very early on that when the basket passed that we put a little something from our own piggy bank into the collection plate. As a result, that very early experience of helping your neighbor and paying attention to the experiences of others.
Then all this stuff happens through life and I end up getting pregnant at the age of 19. I was going into my junior year at St. Mary’s College in South Bend, Indiana. So, I kind of had to reprioritize my life and figure out how I was going to take care of myself and my small child. Those experiences kind of fueled the vision for Raise The Barr.
In 2014, when Anthony was drafted in the top 10 of the NFL Draft, we held a youth football camp. It was free and for the local community to get to meet Anthony. He was kind of a local star and he wanted to bring all these people together. It was an amazing day, we had over 300 Kids, 150 volunteers, and all of these people coming together. After that experience, he and I sat down and said, “Wouldn’t it be cool if we could harness this energy, and this enthusiasm, with your platform to really do something big and have a big impact on families like ours?” That’s where Raise the Barrwas born.
It really started from our own stories and experiences. What we originally thought was let’s just start a scholarship fund for single moms like me, who are trying to do something to support their family but they may need a little support. We thought that support looked like a scholarship. Although that is still part of our overall programming, that isn’t even the tip of the iceberg of what single parents need in order to persist through post-secondary, it’s just one part of it.
Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?
Lori Barr: Right, it is hard work. I think that recognizing what your limitations are, is humbling. It puts you in a place to realize that we need to kind of stay in our lane. For us, it was recognizing that one of our biggest challenges was diverse revenue sources. Our biggest funder could not be Anthony. We needed to be sustainable and we really had to dig to create diverse revenue streams.
Our second biggest challenge would be brand awareness. It really is about folks learning about you and coming up with a plan of how you’re going to market your product. In order for people to get engaged, you have to start with building a relationship and building trust. That’s brand awareness, trusting who we are. When you see our logo, when you hear tackling poverty, we want you to think about Raise the Barr.
Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?
Lori Barr: The families we serve, the relationships that we’ve built, and the belief in our mission. Also, knowing that this works and that we are having an impact. Seeing the results of our early work, that’s what keeps us going. That’s what when I’m lying awake at night thinking, oh my God, I need to do blah, blah, blah, and I remember why we’re here. It is one step at a time. And, you know, we’re doing good work and we keep that in mind every step of the way.
Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been?
Lori Barr: 99% of our scholars have earned a degree or graduated. When we talk about increasing economic mobility, the annual income on average of an applicant, when they come into the Raise The Barrfamily is about $15,000 annually. Upon leaving and securing a career, the average income is $64,000 a year. So there’s a huge increase, and they can now support themselves and their family moving towards true prosperity.
For us, it’s totally about the stories and where they are now. A real quick story of Tanya. She is a Native American single mom who grew up in poverty. Father in prison, a mother struggling to make ends meat and college was not in her plan. She became a mom at a young age. And, like me, she decided she better get into school and figure something out. She went through community college and ended up transferring to a university. Today, she is now being invited by the American Indian Science and Engineers Council to speak and present at their conference. She is a chemist and will graduate this December. Her son is a fourth-grader, he’s achieving above grade level, three grades above with reading and math. Those are our success stories. That’s the impact that we’re having.
There are so many more stories like Tanya that we have and that we really celebrate because these are lives that are changed. That we can be a little part of that change, and create hope and opportunity to me, that’s a huge success.
Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?
Lori Barr: I think mine would be so similar to so many other small nonprofits out there. The dream is that we have all the resources that we need to do the work that we do. Our dream would look like us being able to really provide the resources needed to single parents, students everywhere, so they could succeed. That might look like something practical, like an endowed scholarship, that also might look like having strong partnerships with post-secondary partners. There are little things like that, which I think would help us continue this work, and really have an impact and really start to crack generational poverty.
Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?
Lori Barr: I’m a teacher at heart, that’s what I was trained to do, and I went on to pursue a master’s degree in counseling and psychology. So, I would say that I think I’m a pretty good listener. This has taught me to listen more, and talk less. And it’s taught me to really be more thoughtful about how I approach my own life. I think about the experiences of others. Somebody else’s experience is just as valuable, if not more than our own, and so listening, thinking, and letting that help our decision-making.
As a sports mom, I always use a sports analogy but really learned to focus on how to build a championship team. Bringing the right people on board, all with different skill sets. As a single parent, so often I carry the burden completely on my own, and decision-making all by myself. It was not really, within my experience for 29 years to say, I need to bring others into this to really help us have a great impact. And that’s changed for me.
I’m just happy for folks to inquire and to share what we’re doing. A big part of increasing our impact is raising that awareness and really building that championship team.
CHARITY MATTERS.
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Today is the day that we take time to be thankful. This year, this day and this moment I am grateful for many things, my guess is for many of the same things you are; health, family, friends and for all the amazing nonprofit founders who continue to inspire and teach so many invaluable life lessons.
This year has been a challenging one for me personally with more loss than I was prepared for. Yet, every time
I have a conversation with one of these inspiring founders its as if someone hit a reset button for me that leads me to gratitude. Each founder has sacrificed their life to make others lives better. Every one them remind us all what really matters and just how much we have to be grateful for each and every day.
So today, I am grateful to each person who has come into my life and for all of the lessons they have taught. Most of all, I am grateful to each of you who continue to inspire, teach and motivate on this journey. To each and all of you, I wish you and your families a very joyous and Happy Thanksgiving!
Charity Matters
YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT, IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER.
I have to confess, I have never been on a dating site. Recently, one of my team suggested a site called PodMatch. While not a dating app, rather an app for connecting podcasters and guests. I admit, I was skeptical but willing to try. Through the most unexpected and roundabout way I had the privilege of being connected to today’s amazing guest, Ariel Nessel the founder of The Pollination Project.
Ariel is a successful real estate developer by day, a practicing yogi and an inspirational human being. You are not going to want to miss this incredible conversation about what inspired Ari to rethink philanthropy and create The Pollination Project.
Here are a few highlights from our conversation:
Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what The Pollination Project does?
Ariel Nessel: When you think about what is the most synergistic form of relationship in the world, people often point to pollination. The reason is because you can’t have a distinction between who is giving and who’s receiving in that relationship. That’s where the name, The Pollination Project, oriented from. Like our name, pollination is a process that starts out small but has a huge impact. Our theory of change is that we work on small grants. We are supporting individual changemakers who feel a unique calling to be of service in the world.
Our grantees do this work on the basis of volunteerism, as opposed to a place of occupation. We’ve given out over 4000 grants and most of the grants are $1,000 each. We also provide service to support our grantees in their unfolding journey of service. We’ve placed grants into over 120 countries. The commonality of all the things is that we are creating something that develops more compassion in the world. Compassion, for me, is defined as the longing to reduce the suffering of others.
Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start The POLLINATION Project?
Ariel Nessel: I’ve been active in philanthropy, before founding The Pollination Project, as an as an advocate for things that I really cared about. Through that process I started giving and contributing to different groups that I thought were doing really good work in the world. My journey of philanthropy deepened but it wasn’t as fulfilling as I would have liked. I was writing bigger and bigger checks but I wasn’t feeling nourished inside by a bigger check. It was the intimacy I had with philanthropy that felt like a cog in the wheel. I felt like there was so much more to offer than financial capital.
So what came up for me was this question of how can I expand what I’m calling to offer? How can I feel more engaged in the world than a few minutes being generous, financially? How can I support and nurture and empower the most good from people? What came out of that was this idea that there’s probably some other people who want to do good in the world. How do we find those people, make them and acknowledge them? Then, how do we make them move from that point, too wouldn’t it be great if I did something about that?
So the idea that came out of it was to give one grant a day. Picking a whole network of people to work with in different movements who are asking these questions for themselves. Then to figure out which of those people are at the right point in their unfolding path to to be resourced with these grants to do something in the world. That became The Pollination Project.
Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?
Ariel Nessel: There have been myriad challenges along the way. Early on, it was the question of how do we find these people? You want to give a grant every day, you want to find good people. So how do we locate those people? Further down as it was unfolding, became how do we provide more than money? What is it that people really need? Other problems, that came up were questions like how do we change the focus for our grantees? We wanted to know who they become by accomplishing their project?
We’ve seen so many people who, as they grow their projects, their original motivation gets lost. Sometimes it becomes about building something, as opposed to like leaning into that seed within them that they cared so much about. How do we nourish that seed of caring?
Charity Matters: Tell us a little about your success and impact?
Ariel Nessel: I think one of things I’ve learned from my business experience is that what gets measured gets done. So it’s really important, what we measure what we’re paying attention to. For The Pollination Projectwe have how many grants we’ve given. We measure do they do what they set out to do? How many volunteer hours were provided in it? What do they write about how they were changed the process? Who was who was affected by their project? What percent of our dollars go to grant making versus overhead.?
The impact to be able to tell almost 5000 stories becomes really important to us. And even the stories that aren’t always a success. It’s not like it’s only worthwhile celebrating if you accomplished what you wanted to accomplish. Our failures often lead to greater success down the road. What do our grantees learn in the process of their mistakes? This is what’s beautiful about the $1,000 grants, they’re small enough that we don’t get attached to every one of them working out. What do we learn from the ones that don’t work out? Where do those people who try it and “fail”, what do they learn from the process?
Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?
Ariel Nessel: I think the biggest dream I have is knowing that we played an enormous part in uprooting apathy around the world. So that anyone who ever had their own dream of how they can use their unique knowledge to make the world a better place, does something about it. So that these change makers knew that someone saw them, acknowledged them and was there to resource them. That there were so many grantees around the world that it wasn’t just us but that people copied us all around the world. So that philanthropy wasn’t just done by giant organizations, but there were innumerable smaller positions and individuals resourcing anyone who felt a similar calling. I think that would be my dream.
Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?
Ariel Nessel: So many lessons but asking what do I want for the world? And how can I be a person who helps manifest that? How do I live as an exemplar of what I wish for the world? Because purpose is such a big part of my life, I’ve created this acronym on what to engage. The acronym is pursue.
P is for personal transformation. Where do I need to grow as a human being? I started The Pollination Project where I wanted to grow and be able to see the best in others. I wanted to grow having a daily practice of generosity and feeling a deeper embodied sense of service.
The U is for unique. Where am I uniquely positioned? What am I uniquely called to do? I felt really called to support changemakers.
The R is for relationships. What are the relationships I have? Which ones do I get to spend more time with those people I really care about and want to learn from?
The S is serendipity or synchronicity. What is life pushing me towards? What success are you manifesting without too much effort? Where is there a sense of ease like a finesse that comes from things?
The U is for understanding.
The E is for external transformation or efficacy. Asking, where can I have the greatest impact? So I try to integrate that with all these other parts of it. A big part of the worlds problem is apathy and indifference. One way to address that is to demonstrate that there are people who have moved beyond apathy.
Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?
Ariel Nessel: I think that all of the above has really changed and made this path so much more joyful for me. This is why a harvest approach seems more appropriate to me than the activists. There’s not an exhaustion when you’re just going where there’s flow. You don’t get tired. Rather, it’s a regenerative energy. There’s a joy to giving, to service and life.
CHARITY MATTERS.
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We all remember where we were on September 11th, 2001. It is a moment forever burned into our memories. The people we called, the shock, the horror, and the enormity of it all was more than one could process. None of it seemed real. Tomorrow, we will honor the 20 year anniversary of that fateful day that changed the world forever.
Remembering September 11th
It was a day full of loss and unparalleled tragedy. The 2,977 lives lost that day, the 6,000 injured, the first responders, the plane in Shanksfield, and the Pentagon. The ripple effect touched every single person in this country. However, like all losses, amazing things came out of it. That day we saw the best in humanity as people helped one another. First responders rushing up the stairs to save people and strangers helping strangers navigate their way out. Our country came together in unbelievable ways, hanging their flags, donating to causes to support the victim’s families, and coming together in an unprecedented unity showcasing to the world the best of America.
The Best of America
We as Americans didn’t stop there because we are a country of doers and action. One of the beautiful legacies of September 11th was the incredible amount of nonprofits that were created. The IRS fast-tracked over 300 charities in the wake of September 11th to serve numerous causes. According to the IRS by 2006, as many as one-third had closed. Many of the organizations that completed their missions such as The September 11th Fund and The United Way of NYC distributed more than 534 million dollars to victims, their families, and first responders.
A lasting legacy of Service
According to the Nonprofit Times, today there are still at least twenty-eight nonprofits still in existence. The 9/11 Memorial Museuman experience that every human being should have and a lasting tribute to that fateful day. Families of Freedom Scholarshipshave provided over $178 million dollars to over 3, 759 children of 9-11. Causes such as Tunnel to Towers which was created in memory of Stephen Siller. He was a firefighter who gave his life to save others that fateful day, along with 343 others. This year Tunnel to Towerswill give 200 mortgage-free homes to our nation’s heroes. This year 9/11 Day.org is asking all of us to come together and to do a simple good deed tomorrow. Please watch their video above.
September 11th was one of the worst days in our nation’s history but it did bring out the best in all of us. We came together in kindness, in compassion, we helped our neighbors and hung our flags. We realized that we are all Americans. Tomorrow is a new day and another chance for all of us to remember and come together once again in unity and compassion.
CHARITY MATTERS.
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This weekend is Father’s Day, a time to celebrate the men that raised us and showed us the way. Fathers are those special humans who make us feel safe, who guide us through surviving the world, and most of all who give us love. They are our anchors in rough waters and the calm in our storms. I simply can not imagine life without my dad. A man of few words, who loves his family deeply, and a man of great faith. Sadly, there are many children who are not blessed with an amazing father. I am for sure a lucky one.
In thinking about my dad, I thought about two incredible conversations I had recently about the importance of family. The need for children to have forever homes where people will love and guide them. A few months back I spoke with Brian Mavis, the founder of America’s Kids Belong, and Becky Fawcett of Help Us Adopt. Two inspirational humans who have made it their life mission to create families.
America’s Kids Belong
Have you ever had a call that changed your life? Brian Mavis and his wife Julie both did and that call was to help children. More specifically the 400,000 children who are part of the foster care system in this country. Three-quarters of those children will be reunited with their family or another family member. The remaining 100,000 children need forever homes. What these children have in common is that they all need a home whether a temporary or a permanent one.
Join us for a fascinating conversation with Brian Mavis as he shares his family’s calling and journey in starting America’s Kids Belong. The remarkable story of what one family has done to change what family means for thousands and thousands of children. A true example of the power of fatherhood.
Help Us Adopt
Another powerhouse and true inspiration is Becky Fawcett, the founder of Help Us Adopt. We recently caught up and had a fantastic conversation about what motivates this wonder woman, our favorite candy, and her incredible mission to build families. Becky may not be a father but she is a woman on a mission to ensure that children have families. The brutal reality is that over 100 million children in the world need homes and adoption is the answer. Becky said, “We didn’t want to tell those children that people can’t afford to adopt, we wanted to be the ones who make their adoptions a reality.“ Help Us Adoptdoes that by raising funds to provide grants to people who need financial support to begin their families.
I hope as we think about our dads this week that we take a moment to think about all of the amazing humans who work so hard to create family. Brian and Becky are two incredible humans who work tirelessly to bring the basic fabric of our world together, family. Each one uniquely different and making a huge impact in their communities as they tackle unique ways to create families. If you are looking for a little summer inspiration, you’ve come to the right place. Happy Father’s Day to all those amazing dads!
CHARITY MATTERS.
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There are a few things that most of us assume will happen every day; the sun will rise, the sun will set and we will have a place to call home. However, for many that isn’t the case. In Los Angeles alone, it is estimated by some reports that we have more than 100, 000 people living on our streets. Homelessness is a growing epidemic and not a problem that is easy to solve by any stretch of the imagination. This season I had the privilege of interviewing three incredible women who have set out to tackle this problem in a variety of different ways. Today, I wanted to re-introduce you to Eyvette, Sr. Judy, and Abeni. They are amazing!
Urban Possibilities
The first is Eyvette Jones-Johnson. She is one of the most soulful and remarkable humans I have ever had the privilege of talking to. Eyvette shares her amazing journey from growing up in the Southside of Chicago to becoming a successful television producer and now an entrepreneur nonprofit founder. She and her husband are the founders of Urban Possibilities. A nonprofit that provides homeless or inner-city job seekers the tools to reach their highest potential from the inside out. This episode is good for your soul!
Alexandria House
Join us to hear our fascinating conversation with Sister Judy Vaughan. We discuss everything from her work in founding Alexandria House to her tattoo, her motto, her sheroes, their feature in Justin Beiber’s video, and most importantly to her tireless dedication to the community. The Tory Burch Foundation and the Upworthiest nominated Sr. Judy as their Empowered Woman and once you listen to this conversation you will see why. I knew Sister Judy Vaughan was someone special the moment we began our email exchange and she did not disappoint. A third-generation Angeleno who has been on a mission to serve women, children, and families with transitional housing for 25 years since founding Alexandria House.
Haven House Youth Services
Abeni Carr is not only a high school principal in Compton, CA but in addition, had started a nonprofit when she realized a number of her own students were homeless. I am so excited to share our conversation about Abeni’s work helping high school youth deal with homelessness, her journey in founding Haven’s House Youth Services, and how she juggles it all. Shortly after our interview Abeni was featured on The Ellen Show for her inspirational work in service to homeless youth. Abeni is a true leader and role model for all!
I’m thrilled that you had a chance to get reacquainted with Eyvette, Sr. Judy, and Abeni. Three inspirational women have dedicated their lives to helping the homeless in three very different ways. Each one uniquely different and making a huge impact in their communities as they tackle homelessness. If you are looking for a little summer inspiration, you’ve come to the right place. Now you can do a little binge-listening….enjoy!
CHARITY MATTERS.
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Well, we did it! We set out to share these incredible stories of our favorite humans in a different format and sixteen podcast interviews later we have! I am always amazed when I set out to do something I have never done and somehow with a huge leap of faith and a lot of help, it happens. The journey was bumpy, that is for sure! When you look in the rearview mirror there is an incredible sense of accomplishment in seeing how far you have come. Honestly, the journey would not have been possible without all of you, the best traveling companions a girl could ask for.
Like all long journeys, this one began last July with more than a handful of cheerleaders nudging me towards the podcast. Once the idea took root, it came time to figure out how to make it happen. There were more than a few learning curves along the way, almost all technology-related. Once those hurdles were overcome we were off to the races in January. Now that the first lap of the race is completed, it is time for rest.
Taking a moment to reflect on the lessons learned, the challenges, and the next steps. During this interim, we will still be sending out weekly emails and we will be working on Season Two which will debut in July. Speaking of July, Charity Matters will be celebrating its official 10th birthday on July 17th. With that milestone comes our renewed commitment to introducing you to amazing humans each week who inspire each of us to give the best of ourselves, to one another and the world.
Thank you again for subscribing and telling your friends about the Charity Matters Podcast. We are so grateful for you continuing to support this work and journey.
I went to a school whose motto was “Actions Not Words.” This phrase was repeated my entire life in Kindergarten through high school and after a while, it does start to sink in. A few weeks ago, I was speaking to the Alumni relations coordinator at my alma mater. She mentioned an incredible alumnus that I needed to meet, Abeni Carr. She went on to tell me that Abeni was not only a high school principal in Compton, CA but in addition had started a nonprofit when she realized a number of her students were homeless.
I am so excited to share our conversation about Abeni’s work helping high school youth deal with homelessness, her journey in founding Haven’s House Youth Services, and how she juggles it all. Actions Not Words definitely made an impact.
Here are a few highlights from our conversation:
Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Havens House does?
Abeni Carr: We really support homeless youth specifically and much of our focus goes for high school-age youth that are dealing with housing instability. We make hygiene packets, we also help with young people getting housing, we’ve helped with young women who’ve been trafficked, making sure that they are getting to safety and making sure they get lawyers, and we try to pay for some of their fees.
We’re hoping to expand to have a community center where we can really have our clothing closet and be able to support high school-age youth, which I think is one of the most vulnerable populations. We started doing this work in 2018 and now we are in three different areas throughout LA County.
Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start Havens House?
Abeni Carr: I was adopted when I was three by my mom and I purposely waited until I was 30, to look for my biological family. I found both my birth mother and my birth father about six years ago through a lot of Google searches on Facebook. Immediately we were united and then about a year later, I just went through the process of meeting my siblings.
My sister Miracle, from my birth mother, came out to meet me with her boyfriend. When I’d asked her a question, her boyfriend would answer it. I thought it was very odd and so just through talking to her, and my mother I found out that my sister was being trafficked.
I ended up helping her and it really made me turn around and look at my students. Do I have students that are homeless? We realized that maybe we did and just don’t know. So my school started doing the work. We had to figure out how do we identify our students? Sure enough, I did have some students that I had no idea had been dealing with housing instability. Because people don’t willingly come to a school and say, “Hey, we’re dealing with homelessness.”
One day I got like five phone calls for different needs. Some people needed, a hotel to stay at and another family that was living in a car. The school found out and asked me, “Do you know where they could get help? ” I thought with the multitude of phone calls there’s a great need. So I really just started reaching out to everybody I know. I have a great group of friends and we just came together and said, “Let’s help out as many people as we can.” That’s how Haven’s Housegot started.
Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?
Abeni Carr: I know my dream. I want to be able to build a campus that has a school, mental health, a community center, and housing. Kind of like a one-stop-shop where we build a community and where students know it’s a safe place for them. Like Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, but it’s really true, right? If we can build safety, the home, the access to food, then you know, that’s the first step to even get them to that next place. So I would love one day to be able to have our own little community on the same campus. A place where there’s schooling, there’s shelter, there’s a community center and we help them with job readiness.
Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?
Abeni Carr: I’m just very goal-driven. This work has really shown me how to slow down and really listen to people. Everybody really does have a story. Sometimes as a leader, I didn’t really take out the time when I was younger to really hear people out. I felt like my way was the right way. In time, I’ve really learned to slow down, delegate and trust people. Just like I’m asking my young people, to trust me. You have to start trusting other people that they can get it done too.
Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?
Abeni Carr: I got into education a long time ago, not because of the honors and not about what you’re going to get back from it. But I will tell you, this cohort that we have right now, every single one of them got into college. We’re giving them the tools to learn, how do you advocate for yourself when you do go to college? Or how do you get a job? We are really trying to end cyclical homelessness. One of our board members actually was one of our clients. Now she’s 24 years old, has a job she’s living on her own. Every day she asks, “What can I do to help?” I think that that’s what really reminds me why are we doing this.
If you can help people with the tools to get on their feet, they will turn around and help somebody else out. Right? You want to take it from cyclical homelessness. So when there are those hard days, I remember Marie and the other young people that I’ve been able to help out. They have turned around and now become amazing advocates for other young homeless youth that now they’re helping, and mentoring. Being able to share their experience and say,” This is temporary, you can make it through this.”
CHARITY MATTERS.
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One of the many things I love about finding my tribe and interviewing these amazing humans is the friendships I have made over the years. One of those people is the remarkable Becky Fawcett, the founder of Help Us Adopt. You may remember our conversation from a few years back? We recently caught up and had a fantastic conversation about what motivates this wonder woman, our favorite candy, and her incredible mission to build families.
So join us today for a fun conversation that will have you inspired and remind you that one person can make a difference.
Here are a few highlights from our conversation:
Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Help Us Adopt does?
Becky Fawcett: Help Us Adoptbegan in 2007 at our kitchen table and an idea to help build families through adoption. Our platform was families combined with a commitment to equality, something everyone could believe in. The brutal reality is that over 100 million children in the world need homes and adoption is the answer. We didn’t want to tell those children that people can’t afford to adopt, we wanted to be the ones who make their adoptions a reality. Help Us Adopt does that by raising funds to provide grants to people who need financial support to begin their families.
Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start Help Us Adopt?
Becky Fawcett: One of my favorite topics in this world is infertility and adoption. I tried to do IVF, we did five rounds of IVF. We got pregnant three times and had three miscarriages. It was not easy, it was awful. Everybody knows someone who’s been through what I’ve been through and they probably didn’t get the support they needed.
I never thought it wouldn’t work and I didn’t want to adopt it scared the living bejesus out of me. It then got to a point where it was like either you adopt or you don’t get to become a mom. Not becoming a mother was not an option. This was 15 years ago. No one wanted to talk about this and miscarriage and IVF. There’s nothing shameful about being infertile, about miscarriage or about adopting.
photo credit: Classic Kids
I won’t lie to you. It’s also very expensive. In order to do the IVF, and then adopt twice my husband and I spent $190,000 and after-tax dollars in our early 30s. I never want to be misleading, I had help from my grandparents. But we spent every single penny in our savings account. We were probably one step shy of taking out a second mortgage on our house.
I had this idea of how lucky was I that I got to do all of this on my own terms. I had nothing left in as far as money goes, but that could be rebuilt. And how could I help people and with no money, being a loudmouth publicist? So, I wrote a business plan in about 20 minutes and just knew what needed to be done. What needed to be done was an adoption grant program that was all in on the family quality period. That was it.
We don’t care who you love or who you’re with. We don’t care about any of that. Don’t send us a picture of what your family looks like. We don’t want to know, that’s not why we’re helping you. We’re helping you because you want to adopt a child, you have a valid home study. And you need a little help.
Charity Matters: What has your impact been?
Becky Fawcett: How do you put a value on giving this child an opportunity to know you were worthy, right? I mean, that you were worthy, you deserved this family? How do you know?
Well, my impact is all of the family pictures of the families we helped to build. My impact is the 2000 donors a year who are out of the box thinking who are ahead of the game and philanthropy. Donors who do believe in the nonprofit that came out of nowhere and who support us every year. Last year, we built 56 families during the pandemic. What is more important than a family?
Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?
Becky Fawcett: Reading these grant applications. Talk about salt of the earth, good people. Are you kidding me? I am inspired by our applicants, those who will let me into their life once they become grant recipients. I love staying in touch with them on Facebook, I love watching their kids grow up. Someone once wrote to me, one of the grant applicants, her name is Erica. She wrote to me and said, “Because of your story, I have mine.”
CHARITY MATTERS.
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It is a rare human that touches our soul. When my path crosses with these angels on earth there is something indescribable that happens. My conversation with Dena Betti was exactly that, one that had me in tears more than a few times. Yes, if you have ever wanted to hear me cry, this episode is for you. More than that was Dena’s message of love and resilience after losing her 14-year-old daughter, Jenna, in a tragic accident.
Dena took that pain and turned it into a nonprofit called Her Smilethat funds programs to empower and inspire young people to thrive despite adversity.
Here are a few highlights from our conversation…
Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Her Smile does?
Dena Betti:Her Smile helps families who have experienced the loss of a dependent child or the loss of a parent with dependent children. We did that primarily for the first five years. Just last year, with the pandemic and the severe fires, we thought we want to do more than what we’re doing. So we broadened our brushstroke so we could also help families going through really difficult circumstances. So not only death, which is the ultimate loss, and to lose a child is beyond measure, so we now are helping those who are in the throes of really challenging circumstances.
Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start Her Smile?
Dena Betti: But what brought me to this work is, tomorrow will be seven years, when I got this horrific call from my husband. It was a Sunday and, and he was screaming on the phone, Jenna, it was Jenna. Jenna is my oldest daughter, and she was 14 at the time. And you know, we let her go out on a walk in our neighborhood. they took the like the short what would be the shortcut home. And that was along the railroad tracks.
What we know now is when they sat down on the railroad tracks, Jenna had put her phone down. When a train approached they got up and were able to safely get away from the train. But Jenna went back to grab her phone and she was hit and killed from the back. Her phone survived but she didn’t. What we think is that she probably thought the width of the train was the width of the train tracks, which it’s not, the train is wider.
A moment like that changes you in so many ways that change you. What I want to share is something that leads into why we started Her Smile. That is all the love and support that came from family, friends, strangers, people descended on our home. I remember the moment so clearly and I thought if I shut this door and I do not let these people in my home, they might not come back. I learned one of life’s great lessons, which was when you let people in they will love you and hold you up. They will give you all of the strength that you need to get through whatever it is.
I have three daughters and they all had the same third-grade teacher, Mrs. Travis. Something very magical happened that she did, she started a Memorial Fund for our family. She started that to help with the burial costs for Jenna and to feel like she could do something for our family. So that raised a lot of money and it helped us put Jenna to rest. We had money left over and I thought you know I don’t want to keep this money. This money needs to go back out to help other people and that is where Her Smilewas born. It was born in that spirit.
Charity Matters: When do you know you have made a difference?
Dena Betti: Gosh, so those moments come in little moments for me. They come when people reach out to me, and ask how do I help my friend who just lost their son or their daughter? Or what can I say to them? Those are moments that make me feel like I can be of service. Even though it’s much smaller than I originally wanted, it’s as impactful. Those are the moments so they’re not grandiose. They are very humble, but they mean everything to me
Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?
Dena Betti: When Jenna passed away, that was big about the control in my entire life. I’ve just learned that there’s so much fear built into that statement. We want to control because we want to feel safe and secure. And then when you realize when something happens, like, what I experienced, or other hardships, maybe we don’t have as much control as we thought we did?
My biggest life lesson is divine time. That’s been my biggest challenge is being able to see it in my mind. feeling like I want it now and having the grace and patience to wait. Having the faith. You know, I’ve asked myself many times, and I prayed to my higher power. And I said,” Is this really what I should be doing?” And the answer has so far come back. Yes. And to have the patience to let divine timing play out has been my biggest life lesson.
Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?
Dena Betti: I see life much deeper. Much deeper. I’ve always been a much deeper thinker and tend to lean on wisdom a lot. I didn’t really feel like I have anything to prove anymore. Like I feel like I’ve done the inside work. You know, I’ve definitely got to the top of the mountain when it comes to my internal resilience. So, for me, that’s how much I’ve changed or to the degree, I’ve changed is I’m at peace. And that, isn’t that the ultimate goal? Yeah, I think the ultimate goal is to know that you’ve done your best. You’ve carried that bucket You’ve worked your hardest. And you’re at peace with what you’re doing and what you’re putting out into the world and what you’re giving to everybody.
CHARITY MATTERS.
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If there is one common denominator in all the people I have interviewed over the years it is their humility. People who give their lives and talents to serve others do not want the attention on themselves ever. These incredible humans will lovingly talk about the work they do but do not want the attention on them. It doesn’t matter who they are. Whether they are from a famous family or used to being in the media, these modern-day heroes consistently do not want the spotlight.
Today’s guest, Meredith Seacrest Leach is no exception. Meredith is the Executive Director of the Ryan Seacrest Foundation. And yes, she is Ryan Seacrest’s sister. I’m excited to share our inspiring conversation about their families’ journey in service and the incredible way they are using their gifts to help eleven children’s hospitals and thousands of children and families across the country.
Here are a few highlights from our conversation:
Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what The Ryan Seacrest Foundation does and how it all started?
Meredith Seacrest Leach: Just over 10 years ago, Ryan would do a lot of visits to children’s hospitals through his various jobs. In particular, the radio show, where he would take his team down there and they’d set up at Children’s Hospital of Orange County, in California. They would bring in some special guests and broadcast live and he got so much feedback from families about the energy this brought to the hospital.
There was one visit that we were at the hospital and there was a little girl who hadn’t gotten out of bed in 72 days. But she got out of bed to be part of this broadcast and got to meet Selena Gomez. And it just moved all of us and the nurses had tears in their eyes. The power of creating this excitement in the hospital inspired this little girl to get out of bed.
I know you’ve talked about this in your podcasts, that there’s this moment, and what is that moment that kind of triggers an idea of wanting to create something or do more? So after that moment, we road back in the car together, and Ryan just said, “What can we do that could live in the Children’s Hospital? I can’t broadcast every day. I’d love to but you know, I can’t. But what could we create and do that could live in the hospital, to create this synergy?”
We sat down as a family and kind of talked about it. My brother reached a point that while he loved supporting other causes that he would love to create some into his own. We really talked about rather than reinvent the wheel. He needed to do what he is good at, which is radio and television.
So, we decided through the relationships we have to kind of replicate his radio studio as well as folding some technical side for television. That evolved into what we now call Seacrest Studios. We decided to build the first one at Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta, our hometown, where we were raised and born. And we really started with that first hospital and had a conversation with them about the idea. They took a chance to see you know what this would be and it evolved from there
Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?
Meredith Seacrest Leach: We have parents just say, “You know, my child smiled today or laughed.” It feels like such a small thing but if that space we create can bring that joy or that moment for a family or create some sense of relief. That’s when we feel while we’re doing what we’re supposed to be doing.
Charity Matters: When do you know you have made a difference?
Meredith Seacrest Leach: I had worked in the entertainment business before moving into the nonprofit space. I think knowing that each day, what we do is really helping someone, I’m not just going to work. But this really has meaning and to be able to say that your job, if you want to call it a job, but your passion is really helping people and you get these stories back.
The fact that we can be that connective tissue to bring, not only the Seacrest Studios to the hospital, but also bring in different opportunities, whether it’s entertainment or educational experiences, fun toys for the kids. It is just so important. I just realized that every day that I’m lucky to do what I do and have the ability to do it.
Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?
Meredith Seacrest Leach: Well, I definitely have learned that you never stop learning. I’m continuously learning as we go. One thing I think that this was something you could truly make decisions on what your heart wants to do. This was what feels right and this is the way we’re going to move this.
Listening to that kind of inner voice of what felt right to do, actually led us in a way to build something special. We felt it unitedly as a family. We really just listened to our hearts about what we wanted to build and how we wanted to help. I think it led us in a great direction.
Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?
Meredith Seacrest Leach: Now that I’ve worked in children’s hospitals quite a bit with working with 11, and visiting, even more, it definitely changes you. I think I have a lot of perspective, more than I ever had before. I know it sounds so cliche, but health is wealth. Just to be so grateful, for what I do have and not focusing on what I don’t have. Seeing some of these families and what they’re going through, is hard.
Some of these young people have such a perspective on life. I think it just really keeps me in check of what is important in life. Trying to focus on that and be present in all the positive things.
CHARITY MATTERS.
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YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT, IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER.
Welcome, 2021! The world has anxiously been awaiting your arrival and we are so glad that you are finally here. Let’s face it, last year we were all a little over-enthusiastic about your predecessor. I think we will try harder not to put too many expectations on this year. Poor 2020 was somewhat doomed from the start. To make a joke of a year worse the hindsight that was 2020 is now crystal clear. Looking back it wasn’t so sparkly. It was a new decade, the economy was thriving and as we sat on the top of a mountain…well there only seemed to be one way off and that was down.
The expectations of 2020
What I think we didn’t realize then was that rather than a gradual hike down it would be a rapid fall with many bumps and bruises along the way. We didn’t see that the fall would be steep, long, and hard. Most agree that we are at the bottom and some may say we still have a bit further to go. I think most of us agree that we all have a big climb back and that somehow we have to find a new way to get there.
The journey of 2020 began with the euphoric New Years filled with huge hopes, wishes, and dreams. Maybe we were asking for a little too much? Or maybe we just didn’t realize what we had in those moments until it was gone? Again that ugly 2020 hindsight. Last year taught us gratitude in big ways. We learned to appreciate our health, freedom, gatherings, concerts, parties, school and the list goes on. We doubled down on what is important and we learned how to be patient when things didn’t go to our plan. Those were the gifts from 2020.
Goals for the New Year
Now that 2020 is behind us, what is it that you want from 2021? What is the most important thing to you? How do you want to live your life? These are the questions that I have been pondering lately. Last week when I wrote about the heroes of 2020 they all had one thing in common. Each of those heroes lives a life of purpose and one bigger than themselves. “The people who are most alive, driven, and fulfilled are those that seek to lead a life of contribution and service. To something greater than themselves.” Tony Robbins was right about that.
The Big Announcement
In 2021 I want to work harder to be that person. It means being vulnerable and putting myself out there for criticism and critique. It also means being brave and not caring about the criticism but about a purpose greater than myself. I have been working hard for months to do just that. I am very excited to announce that I will be launching The Charity Matters Podcast where you can hear these conversations first hand. It feels selfish not to share them.! Yet, it is terrifying and invigorating all at once.
In the next few weeks, you will still receive your weekly post but it will be the highlights from the amazing conversations of these modern days heroes. Some of them are old friends you may recognize and I am so excited about some of the new inspiring conversations I have to share. I encourage you to click on the listen button and to hear them. I know you come away inspired by the best in humanity, the goodness in people, and their incredible journeys of service.
Charity Matters is Ten!
Charity Matters turns ten this year and so with a new decade and a New Year comes new growth. If there is one gift I can give to you to celebrate, it is a front-row seat to the best of humanity. Am I scared? Yes! Am I excited and thrilled? Absolutely! Change is good. It is scary and it is the one constant in life, another lesson we learned from good ole 2020.
So welcome 2021! I am thrilled you are here. Excited to embrace what is ahead and ready to work hard and to continue spreading the message of goodness. Thank you for being a part of this journey and wishing you all the happiest New Year! See you in a few weeks!
CHARITY MATTERS
YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT, IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER.
If ever there was a year that turned our planet upside is has been this one. Last year we all began 2020 with such hope. A new decade and such expectation that was to come crashing down three short months later. Now we are all counting down the days until 2020 is behind us. As someone who tries to find the silver lining in everything when I look back at 2020 I smile thinking of the amazing humans we met this year. Each of these people gives selflessly to make our world better. I thought today we would look back at some of the remarkable conversations of 2020. And a few highlights.
The Kindness Campaign: Andra Liemandt
We began 2020 by talking to the founder of the Kindness Campaign to learn about their mission to serve the socio-emotional needs of children. This year their work was more important than ever. You can revisit the full conversation, here.
CHARITY MATTERS: WHAT WAS THE MOMENT YOU KNEW YOU NEEDED TO ACT AND START THE KINDNESS CAMPAIGN?
Andra Liemandt: Suicide is the second leading cause of death among teens. Several years ago this touched my life in a very powerful and profound way when a dear friend of ours took her own life and she was just 12 years old and it was a direct result of bullying. There was no path for me to start a nonprofit or any inkling that I would be sitting here five years later talking to you about this. That event changed my life forever and was the catalyst for an ongoing healing process with my daughters.
Homelessness:
There are so many incredible organizations trying to help the homeless. This year we met more than a few. These two women especially stand out for their incredible compassion and dedication to serving the homeless. Heather Carmichael has been working with homeless youth for almost two decades at My Friends Placeand Caitlin Adler works to ensure that the homeless have proper clothing through her nonprofit Project Ropa.
My Friends Place: Heather CArmichael
Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?
Heather Carmichael: There are so many. The landscape around addressing homelessness is under such dynamic change. For years, no one spoke about homelessness and now we have an epidemic crisis. Communities are overwhelmed and LA is in such pain about this. How do we continue to engage communities in meaningful ways so that we maintain momentum towards a solution?
I feel very grateful to be doing the work at My Friend’s Place, where our main priority is to resolve these young people’s homelessness while continuing to create meaningful opportunities to see the impact and to feel involved. How do we scale to that in a meaningful way? A multitude of things got us here and it will take a multitude of things to fix this. We need to create meaningful opportunities to get our community and supporters involved in understanding and being a part of the solution.
Project Ropa: Caitlin Adler
Caitlin Adler created Project Ropain 2015 to address the challenges that homeless people face in obtaining and keeping clean clothes. Though homelessness is accompanied by many things, one of its greatest indignities comes from the absence of hygiene services.
Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Project Ropa does?
Caitlin Adler: Most homeless people literally have only the clothes on their backs. Access to clean clothing is essential to the overall well-being of a person and can be the key to opening doors to employment and housing. How you look affects how you feel about yourself and how others treat you. Now, because of the health threats posed by the coronavirus, the need to overcome those challenges has become ever greater.
Health:
Claire Marie Foundation: Marianne Banister
When former LA reporter Marianne Banister lost her 17-year-old daughter, Claire to melanoma. She and her husband went to work to get the word out about this cancer and created the Claire Marie Foundation.
Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what THE Claire Marie Foundation does?
Marianne Banister Wagonhurst: When this happened to our family, to our daughter, Claire, we were blindsided. And because even the medical profession did not realize kids could get melanoma at this age. It looked different than adult melanoma and it was more aggressive and more invasive. according to pediatricians. Melanoma is the number two, cancer in adolescence from 10 to 19 and the number one cancer in young adults from 20 to 29. This cancer is the number one cause of cancer death and young women 25 to 30. In young people, this disease is more aggressive and invasive than in older people.
Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?
Marianne Banister Wagonhurst: Claire. There’s never anything that’s going to make it right that we lost her. There’s never any sense to it. But I truly believe this is her purpose. And if I don’t keep this foundation going and do the work that needs to be done, and I’m not fulfilling her purpose, and we would have lost her for no reason.
Brave Gowns: Summer Germann
Summer Germann is no stranger to hospitals, illness, tragedy, or adversity. What is remarkable about Summer is that she uses all of this adversity, including COVID, as fuel for good. She is a bright light who started a nonprofit Brave Gownsand when COVID hit she reached out to her team to begin manufacturing PPE (personal protective gear) in the form of masks for thousands of health care workers across the country. A modern-day hero.
Charity Matters: How did you decide to get into the PPE (Personal Protection Equipment) for COVID?
Summer Germann: Friday, March 13th I called my designer and I knew we had to figure out a way to help. We had talked about making masks and families have asked us for years. I knew we could make them fun. I called my factory and told them what I wanted to do and they had already started a prototype three weeks before. I said you have to give me a product that I believe in and this isn’t about money. They sent over the prototype and I said, “Okay, I just launched.” By Monday we had 11,000 orders.
Scarlet C of COVID
I hate to end this year with this story but COVID was the defining story of 2020. This articlewas reprinted by a number of magazines and publications and had more views than any piece I wrote in 2020 so it was worth an honorable mention on the list.
While I didn’t interview any specific health care workers but rather organizations that support them, it is worth mentioning that our front line workers were THE true superheroes of 2020.
There are so many remarkable humans on this planet and these are just a few. As 2020 comes to a close and we look to a New Year ahead I think there are so many qualities to emulate that each of these heroes possesses. Tony Robbins sums up these heroes perfectly when he said, “The people who are most alive, driven and fulfilled are those that seek to lead a life of contribution and service. To something greater than themselves.” Thank you, Andra, Heather, Caitlin, Marianne, and Summer for showing us by example what true service and living a life of contribution looks like. At the end of the day isn’t that what we are all striving for?
Wishing all of you blessings for a most joyous and Happy New Year!
CHARITY MATTERS
YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT, IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER.
While I didn’t interview any specific health care workers but rather organizations that support them, it is worth mentioning that our front line workers were THE true superheroes of 2020.