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Episode 94: Penny’s Flight

Some stories meet you in the deepest places and still lift you higher. This week, you’ll meet Kate Doerge….wife, mother, builder of community……who turned the unthinkable loss of her daughter, Penny, into a living legacy called Penny’s Flight. What began in a cocoon of love and butterflies has become a national movement of students, families, and friends spreading wings for those living with neurofibromatosis. Kate’s pillars; finding beauty in imperfection, choosing positivity in the face of challenge, and having faith over fear…..these aren’t just slogans; they’re the way she gets up, puts both feet on the floor, and keeps going. You can feel Penny’s light in every word.

Frankie Doerge, Chad Doerge, Kate Doerge, Henry Doerge

If you’ve ever wondered how purpose is born from pain, or how one brave family can transform grief into hope for thousands, this episode is for you. Kate’s story is tender and electric, grounded and soaring….all at once. It will remind you that we always have a choice in how we play the cards we’re dealt, and that a single flutter can change the weather for someone else. Come listen, be moved, and like Penny……leave with a bigger wingspan.

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Penny’s Flight does?

Kate Doerge: Penny’s Flight exists to keep our daughter Penny’s big, beautiful light alive and to change the future for families living with neurofibromatosis (NF). NF is actually the most common genetic condition in the U.S., but it’s also one of the most underfunded. Roughly 1 in 2,500 people are affected, about 150,000 Americans, yet most people have never heard of it. Penny was diagnosed at four months old, and even then we refused to let a diagnosis define her. She lived joyfully for sixteen radiant years.

When Penny passed on November 11th, 2022, our community wrapped us in so much love that my husband and I knew we had to channel that energy into purpose. Within four weeks, we launched Penny’s Flight. Since then, wings have truly spread: we’ve raised close to $6 million, started more than a hundred student-led chapters at high schools and colleges, and rallied teams and towns around “Play for Penny” lacrosse games, “Pucks for Penny” hockey nights, bake sales…..whatever brings people together to shine a light. Our three pillars guide everything: finding beauty in imperfection, choosing positivity in the face of challenge, and having faith over fear. And our mantra, “It’s your wingspan, not your lifespan” is Penny’s message to the world.

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about Growing up? Did you have any role models that inspired you in this work?

Kate Doerge: My role models were my parents from day one. My mom was a dancer and an absolute beam of light….belly dancing, tap, jazzercise……you name it. She taught me how physical strength fuels mental strength and how movement lifts you out of darkness. My dad was a devout Catholic, a former Marine who once studied for the priesthood. From him I learned faith, service, and the belief that there’s something bigger than all of us.

Our home life wasn’t cookie-cutter. My mom might pick me up in leg warmers while other moms wore turtlenecks. We traveled to Haiti and the Dominican Republic in the 1980s, long before “service trips” were common….so I saw early what it meant to help beyond your comfort zone. That shaped me. In my career in PR and fashion, I was always asking, “Where can I make a real impact?” Those seeds of service were planted well before Penny’s diagnosis, and they sprouted the moment we needed them.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start Penny’s Flight?

Kate Doerge: I always return to my father’s advice the night before our wedding: “You will be challenged. It is up to you how you play the cards you’re dealt.” When Penny’s brain tumor, glioblastoma…..accelerated in her last two years, we chose to celebrate her life loudly. During her final week, instead of closing the doors, we opened the windows and invited everyone in. We created what I call a “love cocoon.” There were butterflies everywhere….her sign to us.

After we celebrated her life, my husband and I looked at each other and knew: we have to do something. My background is launching brands; his is finance. Our community was saying, “How can we help?” Four weeks after November 11th, we launched Penny’s Flight. It felt like Penny was our partner in it…..like she was saying, “Keep going.” Even on the day she passed, we took a family walk, got back in the car, turned the ignition, and “Walking on Sunshine”…her song blared from the radio though it hadn’t been on before. That was our first sign: move forward, one step at a time.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Kate Doerge: Grief and logistics don’t take turns. I had two sons, a husband, a home, a community of Penny’s sixteen-year-old friends who had never lost someone, and extended family…..all hurting. I felt a responsibility to lead with light, to model a path that others could follow. Practically, the challenges are familiar to every founder: building infrastructure while building momentum; sustaining funding; making noise in a noisy world. Add to that the complexity of medical research siloed efforts, niche subfields, and the realities of federal funding. Last year, NF’s federal allocation was cut; we went to Capitol Hill and advocated to restore it. It’s back on the bill for review, but advocacy never stops.

And yet the hardest challenge….turning pain into purpose….has also been our greatest teacher. Every day we choose the light. Every day we choose action.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Kate Doerge: Energy can’t be created or destroyed….it transforms. I feel Penny’s energy, and my parents’ too. I feel it in the butterflies, in the serendipities, in the way doors open at the exact moment you need them to. I also feel powered by the next generation. Students reach out constantly: “Can we host a game? A bake sale? Start a chapter?” Watching young people use social media for good….that’s rocket fuel.

Our community fuels me. Media friends like Norah O’Donnell shared our story on CBS within a week of launch, and Oprah Daily invited me to write about “playing the cards you’re dealt.” Brand partners like Veronica Beard, J.McLaughlin, Roller Rabbit asked, “What can we do?” Their platforms amplify NF awareness in ways research labs alone can’t. That collaboration…science, students, storytellers, brands….keeps me going.

Charity Matters: When do you know you have made a difference?

Kate Doerge:Impact shows up as a human story. A mom DM’d us: her four-year-old was just diagnosed with NF; she’d gone down a dark Google rabbit hole. That same day, she opened her mailbox to a J.McLaughlin invite for a Penny’s Flight event and found a different rabbit hole….hope. Months later, she organized a Blackstone Gives Back team, pitched Penny’s Flight, and won $125,000 for NF research. That’s a life changed turning into lives changed.

Another young woman with NF wrote when Roller Rabbit launched their butterfly pajamas for us. She said, “I never thought my favorite brand would support the condition I’ve lived with. I finally feel seen.” That sentence…I feel seen…that is impact.

And then there’s community: our first Penny’s Flight Family Jamboree drew 650 people….blankets on the lawn, kids running, live music on a summer night because Penny loved birthdays. We didn’t just raise funds; we raised each other.

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Kate Doerge: In two and a half years, we’ve raised close to $6 million, launched 100+ student chapters nationwide, and activated schools and teams through “Play for Penny” and “Pucks for Penny.” We’ve become a marketing engine for NF, partnering with Children’s Tumor Foundation to complement their strong scientific backbone with our storytelling and awareness. We brought leaders together at Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory’s Banbury meeting, a lock-in think tank of global experts because progress accelerates when silos come down.

On the research side, we’re funding work that’s already showing promise. For a disease as heterogeneous as NF, that means convening optic glioma experts next to cognitive researchers, next to tumor biologists, next to data scientists and pushing for shared insights rather than parallel tracks. When we measure impact, we count dollars and chapters and media reach, yes. But we also count new collaborations formed, young advocates trained, and families who no longer feel alone.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Kate Doerge: It’s not a dream….I feel it in my bones: we will find a cure for NF. That conviction is why I pour the same determination I once poured into giving Penny the fullest life into this mission. The roadmap is clear: sustained funding, coordinated research, relentless awareness, and a movement of people who believe that wings scattered from a thousand small actions can change the weather.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Kate Doerge: First, we always have a choice in how we play the cards we’re dealt. That wisdom from my dad has become a daily practice. Choose to move literally. Put your feet on the floor. One step. Then the next. Small, actionable steps carry you through the mud of grief.

Second, look for the signs. They’re real. Butterflies on the window in November. A radio that wasn’t on suddenly playing “Walking on Sunshine.” When you keep your eyes open, you realize our loved ones are with us differently, but powerfully.

Third, collaboration is oxygen. In research, in advocacy, in community building, the magic happens when we invite everyone to the table….scientists, students, brands, media, families. We each bring a wing to the flight.

Fourth, service multiplies. The “butterfly effect” is not just a metaphor….it’s a strategy. A student chapter post turns into a game night turns into a grant turns into a lab experiment turns into a breakthrough. Tiny flutters, big weather.

Finally, positivity is not denial; it’s discipline. Choosing beauty in imperfection and faith over fear doesn’t erase pain. It transforms it into purpose.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Kate Doerge: Three years ago, I couldn’t have imagined this life….writing a book, speaking about reimagining grief, launching workshops to help others navigate adversity and midlife reinvention, stewarding a national movement in Penny’s name. I used to search for the “one client” that would let me move the needle; now I see that the needle is people, and the work is love organized.

I am more certain, more grounded, and oddly, more joyful. I feel accompanied by Penny, by my parents, by a community that believes in light. I’ve learned that grief and gratitude can share a sentence. I’ve learned that teenagers can be fierce world-changers. I’ve learned that when you open your doors in the hardest week of your life, you teach an entire community how to love without fear.

Most of all, I’ve learned that it’s our wingspan…how far we’re willing to reach for others…that measures a life.Penny taught me that. Now it’s my job to help the world learn it too.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

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Episode 93: PopDrop

Some stories grab you by the heart from the very first line. John Snyder’s begins on a first date with his wife, Nikki, when the two of them decided to do something radically simple: instead of sending candy to their toner customers, they’d use that money to feed people experiencing homelessness. That small act became Project Pop Drop. A monthly movement  that rallies “givefluencers” to bring meals, new socks and clothing, and joy-filled experiences to shelters across Los Angeles. Today, Pop Drop is more than a delivery….it’s Easter bunnies and race cars for kids, partners who show up with food and gift cards, and even tiny homes that help families move from encampments into dignity and safety.

What makes John’s story unforgettable is his families full circle story.  I had the privilege of meeting John and his wife Nikki last week and they are a power couple in the best sense of the term. This week’s episode is a shot of hope and action, packed with contagious energy, hard-won wisdom, and tangible ways to help. If you’ve been looking for a reason to believe that giving changes everything…and how you can be part of it…don’t miss this conversation with John Snyder of Project Pop Drop.

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Pop Drop does?

John Snyder:  Project Pop Drop Foundation is something my wife, Nikki, and I founded on our very first date. We have a for-profit company…..Platinum International Products & Services…..and someone pitched us one of those “send chocolates and candies to every customer” programs, like Office Depot and Staples. We decided we didn’t want to do that. We wanted to save that money and buy food for people experiencing homelessness. What started as a simple program inside our toner business has blossomed into a nonprofit.

Since 2011, once a month, we go to a different homeless shelter and bring life-saving supplies and partners with us. Bombas donates socks. Whole Foods helps. Raising Cane’s is a big partner—they help feed people and share gift cards so folks can buy food later. Target’s a partner too. We call the people and companies who come with us givefluencers….we trademarked that……because they’re influencing the world by their giving actions.

Over time we’ve evolved. Nikki builds the days into experiences—Easter Bunny visits, race cars for kids living at the shelter, face paint, laser tag……so a hard season can include some joy and smiles. In the early years we’d just drop food. Now our customers and partners come with us, bring supplies, put Pop Drop boxes in their car dealerships and hotels, and give alongside us.

We’ve also grown into housing. We have seven Project Pop Drop tiny homes that are moving families from encampments into safety. Each has a door, a lock; on-site there are washers, dryers, showers, and games. All of this came from deciding not to send M&M’s to toner customers and, instead, to feed human beings.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start  Pop Drop?

John Snyder:  I’m an LA person, big Laker fan. As a kid, birthdays meant my dad took me to the Forum. Once, on the way, I mouthed off……I said something dumb like, “We don’t live that well.” He got mad, drove me to Skid Row, and showed me people sleeping in cardboard boxes. “Dad, people are living in those?” “Yeah. You’ve got it pretty good, don’t you, Johnny?” Right then I said, “When I grow up, I’m going to help those people somehow.”

Years later we did our first Pop Drop at Union Rescue Mission on Skid Row. I told my mom, “We’re going to give back every month” and she started crying. I asked why. She said, “Don’t say anything, but my father was homeless…..at Union Rescue Mission.” I never met him. He had a drinking problem and left when she was 12. I had no idea. We had started Pop Drop at the very place where my grandfather had been homeless. Full circle. That’s when I knew everything was connected and I was on the path I promised as a kid.

On our first date in Century City, Nikki and I said, “Let’s go every month.” Instead of customer gifts, we’d bring food and companies. She asked, “What’s the name?” I said, “I don’t want to show off.” She said, “If you want to expand and get people on board, make the giving pile bigger, you have to name it.” She pushed me. We named it, built donation boxes, and got them into our clients’ businesses. She said, “Make it an experience. You can’t just drop food and leave.” That’s how Pop Drop really began….organically and from the heart.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

John Snyder:  We’ve got four kids….triplets and our superstar daughter, Chloe….and we’ve brought them to shelters since they were six months old. In those early nonprofit years, we’d roll the triplets in this long “limousine stroller,” food piled around them, and meet other businesses bringing donations. We’ve been to Skid Row more times than I can count. I’ve had the car swarmed while delivering supplies, people yelling not-nice things through the window while my kids watched. We had to explain: “Don’t take it personally. This is about pain and survival. We’re here to help.”

COVID was the biggest challenge. LAUSD is a big partner; they run donation drives and have our boxes in schools. Suddenly the world shut down. People were told, “Don’t go to shelters.” Meanwhile, shelters are some of the cleanest places you’ll ever see. The whole distribution system, our nonprofit supply chain, broke. We pivoted to Zoom. Students made videos to get donations from families and parents’ workplaces. Wildly enough, during COVID we brought more donations doing it on Zoom than in person. So we kept going.

There was also the noise on social. “Oh, they’re still going to shelters.” “I saw them without a mask.” People were on their couch, and we were out making things happen with Zoom drives, deliveries, feeding people. That pushback actually fueled us. We weren’t going to stop helping people. Period.

Another challenge was resources. People kept saying, “Walmart put your Pop Drop boxes in their stores. Did you know they’ll give grants if you’re a nonprofit?” We became a 501(c)(3) in 2018/2019. That move helped when donations dropped everywhere; Walmart and Target support enabled us to buy more supplies and expand. We never had a grand plan. Things kept falling into place because we kept showing up every month.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

John Snyder: I like helping people. I like seeing faces when you help them. I like talking with people, giving hope and showing someone that somebody still cares. I’ve been in rough spots where people helped me, and I know what that means in the moment. It can be everything.

I love that we’re giving back and showing our kids…..and our kids are inspiring other kids. It’s contagious. I love when friends and business associates come with us and afterward say, “John, I’m so thankful we went. We’ve been looking for a way to give back.” People want to help; they just don’t always know how. We say, “Come with us.” That’s givefluencing…..bringing others into the act so the giving pile gets bigger.

And when people tell you to stop doing something you know you’re supposed to be doing? That fuels me too. If everyone had stopped during COVID because they were told to, a lot of people wouldn’t have eaten. We kept going. Educating others fuels me as well…..our online course, Giving While Making a Living, teaches businesses to pick a cause and create a simple monthly social responsibility system. Keep it turnkey: name it, pick the last Saturday at 12 o’clock, show up. If you don’t make it simple, you become a “Thanksgiving and Christmas philanthropist.” We’re about consistent, monthly giving.

Charity Matters: When do you know you have made a difference?

John Snyder:  When customers say, “We know we can buy toner cheaper on Amazon, but we choose you because of Pop Drop,” that’s impact. When companies ask, “How can we get involved?” and then start collecting donations, put boxes in their lobbies, and show up at shelters to make an impact. When a friend or client brings their team and says afterward, “We’ve been looking for this,” I know we made a difference.

I’ve watched kids inspire other kids. I’ve seen donations surge because a middle-schooler made a Zoom video. I’ve seen a day at a shelter turn from “drop and go” into an experience where kids in tough situations are laughing, gaming, and smiling. That’s difference you can feel.

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

John Snyder: Since before we were a nonprofit and now as the Project Pop Drop Foundation, we’ve helped contribute to feeding over 90,000 meals per month to people experiencing homelessness. Every month. That’s a big highlight.

We’ve empowered thousands of businesses “our givefluencers” to give back with us. We’ve expanded partnerships: Bombas, Whole Foods, Raising Cane’s, Target, Dave & Buster’s, LAUSD, and Impact 13. We’ve built seven tiny homes to move families from encampments into safety with a lock, a shower, a washer and dryer, and dignity.

We’ve been recognized along the way. We received a Gold Medal which is the President’s Volunteer Service Award from the White House. We were invited to the Pentagon because they liked Pop Drop. Walmart put our boxes in stores. Each of those moments opened doors to expand the giving.

But the thing I’m proudest of is the evolution from dropping supplies to creating experiences that bring joy and connection. That’s Pop Drop.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

John Snyder:  My dream is to change the way the world does business. I want every company to start a program within their business…..like we did before Pop Drop was a nonprofit…..where every single month they give back. Do it for the cause that’s close to your heart, homelessness or anything else, but do it monthly. Make it part of your DNA. I’d love to see extra tax credit incentives tied to that monthly commitment. I want a world full of givefluencers…..people influencing the world through giving actions.

Our course, Giving While Making a Living, helps push that into reality. A woman in Wisconsin bought it and finally started the nonprofit she’d dreamed about serving kids traumatized in childhood. I held her hand through it: naming, logo, shirts, accountability. Most people watch a course, get pumped, and Monday morning do nothing. We want action. I want to figure out how to scale that….maybe through something like the SBA….so more businesses step into monthly giving.

We have something special with “givefluencer.” There’s so much we can do to fuel more life from saving supplies and empowering more businesses to give. If we find that one big thinker, that magical person who sees what Pop Drop is and what it can be and helps us expand it. I’m ready to receive that partner.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

John Snyder: Everything is connected. You can live within your life’s purpose without it being the only thing you do. It’s perspective: a young punk kid says, “We don’t live that well,” and a dad drives to Skid Row to show cardboard homes; that kid says, “I’m going to help,” and later he does at the exact place his grandfather, who he never met, was once homeless. Full circle.

The lesson is to keep my eye on the giving prize. Name it. Show up monthly. Make it simple so it’s sustainable. Invite others so the pile grows. Remember why you started….people, not programs. Keep it real and keep it consistent, or you drift into being that “Thanksgiving and Christmas philanthropist.” We’ve seen that a simple, turnkey system like “last Saturday of the month at 12” is what actually keeps the giving going.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

John Snyder: It’s made me a nicer person. In business I used to be “sell, sell, sell”…..numbers, aggressive, go-go-go. We still have numbers in nonprofit, but Pop Drop humanized me. When you start something and discover your mom’s father was homeless in the very building where you began your giving, it’s hard not to see a higher purpose in that. This journey made me more faithful. It shifted me from feeding printers to feeding people, from transactions to connection, from me to we. And I don’t plan on stopping.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2025 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

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Episode 92: Shoulder Check

 

In the past fifteen years, I have not resent the same interview twice in one week. However, when I orginally scheduled this to be delivered last Thursday, September 11th I didn’t foresee all that would transpire the day before. The assassination of Charlie Kirk followed by the 24th anniversary of September 11th created so much noise that this very special story might have been missed. So, yes if you are seeing this twice it is intentional because I want you to have a bright light on your Sunday morning. Something to start your week to remind you of all the good in this world. So here you go….once again…

 In full disclosure, I know very little about hockey….especially as an LA girl…..but what I do know is that rare and extraordinary group of people who take unimaginable loss and somehow transform it into a mission for good. Today’s guest, Rob Thorsen, is one of those people. After the heartbreaking loss of his son Hayden, Rob chose to honor his memory by spreading kindness and compassion in the most powerful way.

Drawing from Hayden’s love of hockey, Rob used the term “Shoulder Check” not just as a sports reference but as the cornerstone for a movement. What began as a nod to the game has become a beautiful legacy of connection and care. Shoulder Check is about more than hockey…..it’s a mission and a movement about reaching out, checking in, and making contact with those around us. Rob’s story is one of resilience, love, and the reminder that even in the deepest grief, we can create something profoundly good. Take a listen and you will want to be a part of this…

 

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what ShoulderCheck.ORG does?

Rob Thorsen:  ShoulderCheck.org is the first initiative of the HT40 Foundation, which we created to do one simple, specific thing: inspire and enable young people to check in on one another…regularly. We give them the language, tools, and motivation to make “checking in” a daily habit. The culture we’re pushing against is that paradox the U.S. Surgeon General called out in April 2023: we’re hyper-connected by tech, yet lonelier and more isolated than ever. Shoulder Check is our answer.

It started in hockey, our son Hayden played, and the community rallied around us after his death but it quickly became bigger than a sport. The signature gesture is literal: hand on a shoulder, paired with the refrain, “Reach out. Check in. Make contact.” We do this in locker rooms, at center ice, in school assemblies, classrooms, and community events. The goal is behavior change through a simple ritual and a shared brand language…something memorable enough to spread, practical enough to use, and human enough to matter.

Charity Matters: What were your early experiences in PHILANTHROPY?

Rob Thorsen: I didn’t come up through a lifetime of traditional volunteerism; I came out of marketing and advertising. I ran ad agencies. My wife did, too. Ideas, brand-building, behavior change….that’s our professional DNA. After we lost Hayden, I didn’t set out to “become a nonprofit founder.” I set out to develop an idea that could help people the way Hayden helped people….by making contact.

In that sense, Shoulder Check “just happens” to be a nonprofit vehicle. It is, first and foremost, an idea carried by a brand and a toolkit. From day one we treated it like a serious creative brief. Our team (pro bono) built language, design, rituals, and programs the way we would any world-class brand……with clarity, consistency, and heart.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start ShoulderCheck.org?

Rob Thorsen: When Hayden died by suicide in May 2022, our lives were instantly and permanently altered. The first feeling was compulsion: we have to do something. I reached out to a national mental-health nonprofit whose executive director told me, bluntly, “Leave interventions to the professionals.” It stung, but at the same time, it focused me. She was right: I’m not an interventionist. I am a professional in another realm.

A few months later I sketched a simple thought in a notebook: “I have a hand to give. I could use a hand.” That became our north star. We began gathering with 30–70 kids at a time, at home, at the community center and iterating together. We wanted this to be everyone’s idea, not mine. The first crystallized concept to emerge was Shoulder Check: make kindness a contact sport, give everyone a role in the dialogue, and make the ask actionable.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Rob Thorsen: Processing grief and launching a nonprofit at the same time…..there’s no handbook for that. You’re building a startup out of a garage emotionally and literally, while processing the heaviest thing you’ll ever carry. We’re not clinicians. We’re not event producers. Yet we’re running programs and putting on major events because that’s what the idea requires to spread.

Operationally, the work is exhausting….production, follow-up, stakeholder care, constant outreach. Conceptually, the challenge is staying disciplined: we’re not trying to “do everything mental health.” We’re doing one thing well which is equipping friends to check on friends. The saving grace is that the idea is a virtuous circle. The very act of placing a hand on a shoulder….giving or receiving….feeds the work that sustains us.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Rob Thorsen: The stories. Constantly. We hear from people who finally knew how to start a hard conversation and did it……and from people who were struggling and felt their friends show up. Nearly everyone will accept help from a friend; Shoulder Check gives those friends simple language and a moment to step in.

And the ritual itself is its own therapy. When hundreds or thousands of people put hands on shoulders and say “Reach out. Check in. Make contact,” there’s a tangible lift in the room. You feel the possibility of a culture shift……one conversation at a time.

Charity Matters: When do you know you have made a difference?

Rob Thorsen: I know it in two ways. First, in the micro: when a young kid writes to say, “I went home and checked on someone because of Shoulder Check….and it mattered.” Or, “My friends came to me, and I didn’t feel alone.” That’s the point.

Second, in the macro moments. At our events, 2,500 people….families, players, kids….all link up and speak the refrain together. You watch the posture in the building change. You hear “Lean on Me” sung by an arena and feel the message land. Those moments are catalytic….but they exist to seed a million small, private ones later: on buses, in bleachers, down hallways, at kitchen tables.

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Rob Thorsen: We launched the idea with the Shoulder Check Showcase in August 2023; this year we hosted our third annual showcase. It’s a community-run charity game anchored by NHL players who’ve believed in the mission from day one….people like Chris Kreider, Kevin Shattenkirk, Trevor Zegras, and many others who donate a week of their time to play, meet kids, sign, and amplify the message.

Each year, 2,500 people pack the arena. Before the puck drops, everyone places a hand on a neighbor’s shoulder and repeats our refrain. The response has been overwhelming…..an emotional jolt you can see and hear. This year, New York Rangers anthem singer John Brancy performed the National Anthem and led a “Lean on Me” sing-along. The NHL, the NHLPA, teams, and media have all helped carry the message; we’ve appeared on Good Morning America two years running. The Showcase fuels grassroots adoption…..teams, schools, and communities taking the toolkit and making it theirs. That’s the impact we care about most: replication and daily habit.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Rob Thorsen: I want Shoulder Check to become cultural shorthand for empathy…..like a color you instantly associate with a cause. Think Komen’s pink for women’s health or Movember’s mustache for men’s health. Our teal-aqua should say “kindness, connection, and awareness.” Not as a merch play, but as a signal that prompts action: check on someone right now.

I imagine late-August/September activations timed to back-to-school and fall sports….teams, classrooms, clubs, workplaces…….all making commitments to one another. I want the toolkit to be accessible and flexible: bake sales, 5Ks, pre-game rituals, morning meetings…..however a community wants to manifest it. We’re not raising dollars for a lab; we’re raising awareness for each other. If Shoulder Check becomes the universal cue for “I’m here…..let’s talk,” that’s the dream.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Rob Thorsen: I’ve learned presence over control. In the immediate aftermath, your mind tries to script the unanswerable: Why did this happen? What will my life be a year from now? You can’t solve those questions. What you can do is show up….in this hour, with these people, for this work. When you do that, you give yourself something better than certainty: integrity.

I talk a lot about reflection vs. regret. Reflection is learning from what happened while knowing you did the best you could in the moment. Regret is knowing you didn’t. The line between them is presence. If we keep showing up as honestly as we can, we can live with the outcomes, even the imperfect ones, because we’re learning forward.

And I’ve learned about duality. The loss doesn’t lessen, but growth helps you understand where that loss lives with you. New people come into your life, new work emerges, and you hold both pain and purpose at once. That duality has become the constant: grief and goodness side by side. There is peace in knowing something beautiful can grow from tragedy, even if the sorrow never leaves.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Rob Thorsen: This experience has changed me completely. I sometimes think of myself in three chapters: original Rob 1.0, then Rob 2.0 after Hayden’s death, and now something new….a version who carries both. I wouldn’t say I live in the world in a totally different way, but I see differently. A part of me that was smaller before has been amplified. The idea itself feels like Hayden. Shoulder Check is Hayden. So I feel a duty of care, as if tending this work is tending him.

That sense of duality shapes me too. Pain and purpose live together now. When I watch a stadium of people place hands on shoulders and say our refrain, I think: How did this happen? It’s beautiful, and it’s born of heartbreak. Holding those together has become who I am.

And practically, I’ve changed in how I manage time, people, and vision. We’ve been naïve in believing that a good idea will just travel….and in many ways, that faith has worked. But we’re also at the point where we need to manage like a real business, with intention and sustainability. It’s a “big small business,” and its next stage requires maturity. That responsibility makes me a different leader and a different person.

Ultimately, the change is clarity. Less time for what doesn’t matter, more devotion to what does. More comfort in knowing that if I keep showing up honestly, this work and Hayden’s legacy will keep growing. And if my legacy is simply that people checked in on one another more often, that would be a life well-lived.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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Season 9 Premiere! Episode 91: Supplies for Success

Back-to-school season is filled with excitement for so many children…..the thrill of fresh notebooks, sharpened pencils, and a brand-new backpack ready for a year of possibility. But for countless students living in poverty, this same season brings a heavy burden of anxiety and shame. Instead of walking confidently into the classroom, they arrive empty-handed, feeling different before the first lesson even begins. The simple joy of new school supplies, something many of us take for granted, can make a meaningful  difference as these young students begin their new year.

This week on the Season Nine Premiere  we sit down with Mindy Richenstein, the founder of Supplies for Success, a nonprofit that has been equipping children with dignity and the tools they need to learn for more than twenty-four years. What began as a small effort to help 68 students has now touched the lives of over 300,000 children. In our conversation, Mindy shares her powerful journey of resilience, the heartbreaking loss that deepened her mission, and the joy of turning pain into purpose. Her story is a reminder that something as simple as a backpack can carry more than supplies……it can carry confidence, opportunity, and hope.

 

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Supplies For success does?

Mindy Richenstein: At Supplies for Success, our mission is to equip children with the essential tools they need to thrive in school and beyond. We believe that every child deserves a fair shot at success, and we know that education is the clearest pathway out of poverty. For twenty-four years now, we have been making that belief a reality.

Each year, before school starts, we provide children living in need with brand-new backpacks filled with the supplies on their class lists. It may sound like something small, but the difference it makes is enormous. When a child arrives at school looking just like their peers….with fresh notebooks, sharpened pencils, and a sturdy backpack—they feel included. They feel ready. They walk through those doors with dignity and confidence, rather than shame and embarrassment. That confidence can shape how they approach learning for the entire year.

Most of us have happy memories of back-to-school shopping: the excitement of choosing crayons, binders, or even the “perfect” pencil case. But for children whose families can’t afford these basics, back-to-school time brings anxiety and stigma. That gap in opportunity and self-esteem is what Supplies for Success seeks to close. Over the years, we’ve grown from serving just 68 children in our first year to helping over 300,000 nationwide. Every one of those children walked into school knowing someone cared enough to set them up for success.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start  Supplies for Success?

Mindy Richenstein:  Looking back, I think my path toward this work was influenced by my upbringing. My parents weren’t particularly involved in organized philanthropy, but they gave me the gift of unconditional love and instilled in me empathy, compassion, and strong values. In Judaism, we call this tzedakah, which is often translated as charity but really means justice. It’s not optional, it’s an obligation to make the world better. That belief has always guided me.

The first Supplies for Success drive began in 2002 when I learned of children who were starting school without basic supplies. The thought of a child showing up empty-handed broke my heart. That year, I organized an effort to provide backpacks for 68 children. It was simple, grassroots, and powerful.

Over time, our work grew. By our 18th year, we were serving more than 11,000 students annually. For many years we operated under the umbrella of UJA Federation of New York, which gave us wonderful support. But in 2018, they told us we had grown so large…with huge backpack packing events drawing in thousands of volunteers that it was time to become independent. That was daunting, but in 2019 we officially launched as our own nonprofit.

Then came March 2020. My beloved son Eric, just 37 years old, died in a ski accident. Six days later, the World Health Organization declared COVID-19 a global pandemic. My personal world had collapsed, and suddenly the entire world shut down too.

In the midst of grief, I found purpose. My daughter called, worried because her three-year-old son’s preschool had closed. As I comforted her, my mind went to first responders….mothers working in hospitals or nursing homes who had no choice but to work. What would happen to their children suddenly stuck at home?

I called our suppliers to see if they had art supplies. Two were open. Within two weeks, we created Eric’s Care Kits. Boxes of crayons, markers, and activities that we sent to food banks, hospitals, and nonprofits. They gave children a way to stay creative and hopeful, even in lockdown. Those kits became my lifeline. They gave me a way to honor Eric’s memory and turn unbearable pain into purpose.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Mindy Richenstein:  Time is always the biggest challenge. Supplies for Success has always been almost entirely volunteer-run. Aside from our dedicated college interns, we don’t have paid staff. Coordinating volunteers, assembling supplies, fundraising, and distributing tens of thousands of backpacks is a massive undertaking.

Fundraising is another challenge. Nonprofits are essentially small businesses, but with a very difficult business model…we rely on generosity. During the pandemic, we had to reinvent how we fundraised and distributed supplies since our large-scale events weren’t possible. That required creativity, flexibility, and resilience.

And then there’s the challenge of growth. Every year, the demand increases. Meeting that need while staying true to our mission and ensuring quality is a constant balancing act.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Mindy Richenstein:  The children fuel me. Their stories, their smiles, their dignity. I keep a picture on my computer of a little girl we helped who lost her mother at six, was removed from her neglectful father, and placed in foster care. She was embarrassed to start school without supplies. When she received her backpack, her smile lit up the room. I look at her and see myself as a little girl. Her story could have been mine, if not for the parents I was blessed with. That sense of gratitude drives me.

And Eric fuels me too. Every kit, every coloring book we create in his memory allows his light to shine on. Turning pain into purpose has been my medicine. It gives me strength to keep moving forward.

Charity Matters: When do you know you have made a difference?

Mindy Richenstein:  I know we’ve made a difference when I hear from teachers, social workers, or parents. A teacher might tell me that a child now proudly walks into class, ready to learn. A parent might share that their child no longer feels embarrassed. A social worker may say that our supplies gave a student the confidence to keep going and even pursue college.

Sometimes it’s as simple as a hand-drawn thank-you note. Sometimes it’s realizing that a child we once served has now become the first in their family to graduate. Those stories remind me that our work matters.

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Mindy Richenstein: Success, to me, is measured in both numbers and stories. From helping 68 children in our first year to more than 300,000 today, the growth speaks volumes. Last year alone, we served nearly 40,000 students. We’ve raised millions of dollars to make this possible—entirely from generous individuals, companies, and foundations. We’ve never taken government funding.

But the true measure of success is in the children. It’s in their confidence, their joy, their sense of belonging. It’s knowing that we’ve made education accessible to children who might otherwise have felt left behind.

We’ve also evolved our programs. Eric’s Care Kits provided creative outlets during the pandemic. More recently, we launched a Mandala Coloring Book, designed to support youth mental health and promote unity at a time when children are struggling with stress and the world is struggling with division. Each evolution has been about finding new ways to meet the needs of children in the moment.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Mindy Richenstein:  I dream of the day when Supplies for Success is no longer needed….when poverty is no longer a barrier to a child’s education. While I know that day may be far off, it remains the ultimate dream.

In the nearer future, I dream of expanding the reach of our Mandala Coloring Books, created in Eric’s honor. Mandalas symbolize unity and harmony. Coloring them reduces stress and builds focus. I want to see those books in schools, hospitals, and youth programs across the country, supporting children’s mental health and helping to counter hate with healing.

And personally, I dream of ensuring strong succession. After twenty-four years, I want Supplies for Success to continue thriving beyond me. A strong leader to carry this mission forward would be a dream fulfilled.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Mindy Richenstein: I’ve learned that I am stronger than I ever believed. Surviving the loss of my son and continuing this work has shown me resilience I never thought I had.

I’ve learned that action matters more than intention. Good intentions are beautiful, but they don’t change lives unless we act on them. Picking up the phone, sending the email, packing the backpack….that’s where change happens.

And I’ve learned that purpose is everything. I believe I am here because I have a mission to fulfill: to help children, to honor Eric, and to leave behind a legacy of love and service.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Mindy Richenstein: In some ways, I am the same person I was when I started…..compassionate, hopeful, driven by empathy. But in other ways, I’ve changed profoundly. I’ve grown into a leader, learned to take risks, and discovered the power of community.

This work has introduced me to extraordinary people…..volunteers, donors, social workers, and other nonprofit founders…who have become lifelong friends. It has deepened my gratitude and shown me the best of humanity.

Above all, it has taught me that love can multiply even in the face of devastating loss. Supplies for Success has shown me that when we act with compassion, we don’t just change individual lives…..we change entire communities. That knowledge has transformed me.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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Charity Matters Podcast Season 9 incoming…

Where did summer go? How are we already buying school supplies? What happened to June 1st until after Labor Day? When I find out who is in charge of shortening summer …well I have a few words for that guy. Here we are with Halloween decorations in the stores while filling our carts with crayons on hot “summer” days. It is all a little surreal how fast these past few weeks have flown by.

This time of year is a little bittersweet for me. Running a nonprofit thats programs end in early August makes summer a huge work push. Just as I am excited for summer and some play time, everyone I know is wrapping up travels and heading back to school and work.  August is my summer but it seems that I’m the only one.

In addition to wrapping up this past year’s nonprofit work we have been busy getting ready for Season 9 of the Charity Matters Podcast. It seems like yesterday that we decided to start the podcast and today,  4 years later we are in the top rated podcast in the space. It is so mind blowing to me. Honestly, this fact renews my faith in humanity because all of you believe in goodness and in helping one another. As this message grows so does all the love that goes with it.

Last season we met so many incredible founders. Stories like Terry Grahl’s Enchanted Makeovers, whose  life came full circle with her work helping women in shelters. Terry’s life inspires me to be more and do more.  Then we met so many awe inspiring parents who lost children and turned their pain into purpose. People like Elliot Kallen of A Brighter Day, who started a nonprofit that supports teenagers dealing with mental health challenges. There was Susan Shaw, founder of WBYC, an organization that provides grief support for grieving communities. Then there was the beautiful Mary Fagnano who created the nonprofit, Thrive N Joy to honor her son Nick’s beautiful legacy.

Each person shared their story, their loss and their life choice to go on through service to others. Every organization and their work is a reflection of their love….which endures in their work. These people and so many more not listed here inspire, lift and remind us what it means to love, to live and to serve.

Next week we will launch Season 9 with Episode 91 with the amazing Mindy Richenstein. I can’t wait for you to meet her and so many other wonderful humans this season. Each founder’s story is like opening a gift about life and how to live. There is nothing that brings me greater joy than sharing these gifts with you.

So thank you for being here for this wild ride, for believing in goodness and being a part of this movement. Each conversation, each share and every single tiny act of kindness moves us all forward together.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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Voices of 100 Women

Life is always full of twists and turns. You may remember back in November of 2023 when I interviewed the incredible Cindy Witteman, the founder of Driving Single Parents. After our conversation, she invited me to be a guest on her streaming TV show, The Little Give. During that episode, Cindy mentioned she had written a few books. I casually shared that writing a book was something I had always dreamed of doing. That simple statement unlocked a series of events that would unfold faster than I ever could have imagined.

Just a week later, Cindy reached out to let me know she had nominated me to be part of a docu-series called Voices of 100 Women. I was so touched. She said she’d be sending over a contract. When I opened it, I quickly realized that in addition to being interviewed, I would also be required to write a book. Yes, it was something I’d always wanted to do—but to say I was caught off guard would be an understatement. That was December 15, 2023.

By the first week of January 2024, I was meeting with the amazing team at She Rises Studios Publishing, and before I knew it, I was writing Change for Good. The docuseries became a blurry backdrop as I poured myself into the pages of my book. I met with the publishers in person a few times, and we filmed a few short segments, but my mind and heart were focused on my writing and the looming deadline. Like I said—twists and turns.

So imagine my surprise when, nearly a year to the day after turning in my manuscript, I received an email announcing that the Voices of 100 Women series is premiering this week! Time has flown, and this journey has been nothing short of extraordinary.

Along the way, I’ve met so many inspiring women, listened to their stories, and shared my own. I’ve been reminded again and again of the importance of saying yes, of being open to change, and of leaning into the unknown. Vulnerability is never easy. Letting the world in, letting people see you—that’s scary. But what I’ve learned is that it’s in those moments of risk and openness that true strength and resilience are born.

This experience has been a beautiful reminder that growth often begins when you step outside your comfort zone. I’m beyond grateful to Cindy, to She Rises Studios, and most of all, to you—for being here, for encouraging me, and for walking this journey with me.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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July Fireworks and celebrations

When we think of July we think of summertime, ice cream, fireworks and a time to unwind. The days are hotter and longer and the pace slows down enough for us to catch our breath before we are already packing the kiddos back to school. We need July. It is a time to take a pause, to read that pile of books that has been stacking up and maybe it’s even time for that summer vacation? July is a time of rest and renewal. We give all year and this month is a time for us to recharge, to slow down and to take care of ourselves so that we can continue to take care of others. 

 

Fourteen years ago this month I started Charity Matters. An unlikely birthday for a website and podcast about service. When we allow ourselves to rest and just be amazing things are born. Charity Matters was created to connect great people to incredible nonprofits and the inspirational modern day heroes who have started these organizations. Almost every week for fourteen years we have been sharing their stories with you.

Everyone of these founders was on a life path heading in a certain direction when something completely unexpected happened to them and they changed course radically to help others instead of themselves. Week after week, story after story we learn about people turning pain and loss into causes that serve, heal and help. It never gets old because each story is better than the next!

These nonprofit founders didn’t set out to become heroes, they set out to make a difference. What’s remarkable is not just their resilience, but their ability to transform adversity into action. Whether it’s the loss of a child, a personal health crisis, or a heartbreaking encounter with injustice, their response is always the same: to help someone else avoid the pain they’ve experienced. That instinct to serve is what makes these individuals so extraordinary and their stories are what fuel Charity Matters.

Over the years, what began as a blog has grown into a podcast, a platform, and a purpose. Charity Matters has become a place where stories of service are not just told, they’re celebrated. It’s a space that reminds us that goodness is not only alive and well, but that it exists in the hearts of everyday people who choose compassion over comfort. These stories uplift, encourage, and challenge us to ask, “What can I do?”

And that’s the real magic of Charity Matters. It’s not just about the nonprofits or the people behind them…it’s about all of us. It’s about seeing ourselves in these stories and realizing that we, too, have the ability to create change. Whether that means starting an organization, volunteering at a local shelter, or simply being a little kinder each day, Charity Matters reminds us that giving is not out of reach. It’s right here, waiting for us to take the next step.

So this July, as you soak in the sunshine, flip through books, and maybe even enjoy that long-overdue vacation, take a moment to reflect. Think about what fills your cup and lights your fire. Because when we are rested and renewed, we are better equipped to give. Service doesn’t always have to be grand or public, it can be quiet, personal, and powerful.

Thank you for being a part of this community for the past fourteen years. Thank you for reading, listening, sharing, and most of all, for caring. Your support fuels this mission to highlight goodness and celebrate those who live it out loud. As we pause this summer, let us all remember that rest is not the opposite of service, it’s what makes service sustainable.

Here’s to rest, renewal, and being reminded that charity always matters, one small act of kindness at a time.

 

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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Episode 90: Enchanted Makeovers

Seventeen years ago, Terry Grahl received a phone call that would change not only her life but the lives of countless women and children across the country. What began as a simple request to paint one wall in a shelter became a profound calling—one that transformed Terry from interior decorator to nonprofit founder, from a woman with a paintbrush to a warrior with a mission. Her nonprofit, Enchanted Makeovers, was born from that moment…an act of faith and heart that would grow into a national movement dedicated to restoring dignity, hope, and beauty to women and children escaping domestic violence and human trafficking.

In this deeply moving 90th episode of Charity Matters, Terry shares the raw and powerful story behind Enchanted Makeovers. With humility, grit, and grace, she opens up about her childhood, the influence of her mother, and the quiet, persistent voice that led her to walk beside women on their path to healing. This is not just a conversation about nonprofit work it’s about listening to your heart, honoring your calling, and discovering how one simple act of love can ripple out to change the world.

 

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Enchanted Makeover does?

Terry Grahl : Enchanted Makeovers is a national nonprofit serving women and children who are escaping human trafficking and domestic violence. We just celebrated our 17th anniversary this past December. From the beginning, our mission has been to bring everything that is sacred, healing, and beautiful into their lives.

We believe deeply in the healing power of handmade items. There’s something truly personal and loving in something made by hand. Our programs reflect that belief. We create sacred spaces by transforming bedrooms in shelters, and we also provide sewing rooms and host hands-on programs like “Capes for Kids,” our “Doll Adoption” project, and the “Pillowcase Program.” Each initiative is designed to bring dignity, hope, and healing into the lives of women and children who have experienced deep trauma.

Charity Matters: In looking back at your childhood is there anything that helped lead you to whre you are today?

Terry Grahl: My mother is my hero, my role model and warrior. She taught us the importance of creativity and the power of imagination. We experienced homelessness as a family, and the community played a role in helping us during that time. I remember one Christmas, my mom gathered us all up and said, “Put on your boots, we’re going to an event for kids.” It was held at a VFW hall, and we had to stand in this perfect line while volunteers watched from the walls. A man came over and said, “Come here, girl. Pick out a toy.” That moment stuck with me, even though I didn’t realize it at the time.

Years later, I saw how that memory shaped the heart of Enchanted Makeovers. Today, we don’t believe in perfect lines or creating separation. Everyone stands side by side. Everyone is equal. We ask, “What is your name?” and it transforms how we serve and how we see one another.

When we lost our home, I didn’t fully understand what was happening, I just thought we were moving again. My mom drove us from city to city in a giant old station wagon until we came across a run-down house with weeds up to her waist and tires in the yard. She walked over to a nearby church and asked, “Who owns this house?” They told her the deacons used to live there. And she said, “I need a home for my children. If I put down a small deposit, could I eventually own it?” And they said yes.

That house became our home. I remember her describing how she’d restore it, telling us all the things she would do. The house had been abandoned, but to her, it was full of potential. She even wrote a poem called “The Promise” about the house. I remember my mom laying her face against the front door and promising to bring the house back to life, just as it would help bring her back to life too. That home became her healing project and in truth, she was restoring herself in the process.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start Enchanted Makeovers?

Terry Grahl: When my children were all in school full-time, I started a decorating business. I told my mom, “This isn’t about decorating, it’s about giving women hope.” My first client’s home was heavy with sadness, though I didn’t yet know her story. I began working in her kitchen and said, “This floor isn’t just a new surface…it’s a new path for your life.” She later told me her father had abused her. When I finished the home, I said, “Let’s name your house.” She said, “High Hopes.” We hung a sign outside with that name.

A year later, a man visited the house and saw the sign. He asked about it, and my client told him how I had helped heal her through design. He said, “I also fundraise for a shelter for women and children, do you think she’d be willing to paint a wall there?”

On December 6, I called him back. He said the shelter was in an old post office where women stayed for a year with their children and nothing had ever been done to the space. I agreed to visit after Christmas.

In January 2007, I walked through the shelter. The last stop was the women’s dorm. I had to use both hands to push open a heavy metal door. Inside were 30 women and children, all sharing one room with no dividers, no privacy. I asked, “Where are the dressers?” The director said they used cardboard boxes. The bunk beds had come from a prison. Everything was worn and institutional. Duct tape held baby cribs together. The bedspreads were faded, identical, and from another era. The energy in the room was so heavy with sadness that I could hardly breathe.

I took some “before” photos, though I wasn’t sure what I could do. Driving home, I was angry. I said, “God, why did You bring this to me? I have four children and a new business. I don’t have time for this.” I tried to ignore the photos all week. But by the end of the week, the last image of a stained mattress with no pillowcase just broke me. The pillow had polka dots, and I’ve loved polka dots since I was a little girl. When I saw it, I heard the words, “Trust me.” I raised my hand and said, “I’ll do it.”

I didn’t know how I’d get the money, the volunteers, or the supplies. But it was a leap of faith. I returned a week later with a design board and stood before about 50 women in the chapel. Then I started to cry..you know the ugly cry. I was so overwhelmed.

Then, one woman looked at me with her purple eyeshadow, blue nail polish, and butterfly necklace, and she said, “It’s going to be okay.” I looked around and saw not women but girls. They were crying with me, saying, “It’s going to be okay.” That was the moment I knew: I wasn’t there to save anyone. I was there to walk beside them.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Terry Grahl:  In the beginning, it was tough. I remember going into a store trying to get paint and thinking, “If I just share these women’s stories, they’ll help.” But it wasn’t that simple. There were a lot of no’s. I cried in the car after those rejections.

One week, I sent out a massive email campaign, sharing from the heart why the women needed new mattresses. I needed 30 of them. Out of the blue, a man called. He was on vacation and had seen my email. He said, “My father raised me to help when you can, so I’m donating all 30 mattresses, along with mattress pads and pillows.”

That was our first big donation. After that, I knew nothing could stop us. The women knew it too. What we didn’t know then was how long this journey would be…or how much it would grow.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Terry Grahl:  The promise I made to those women, right there in that shelter, is what fuels me. I said I would do everything in my power to transform their space, and I had to fulfill that promise.

But looking back now, I see that it was more than that. I was on my own healing journey. The little girl inside of me needed this transformation just as much as the women did. She needed to feel heard, to have a voice, and to believe in something beautiful again.

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Terry Grahl:  For me, success is measured by the stories the women share. One woman I’ll never forget is Donna. She lived in the shelter during the time of the transformation. Later, I ran into her and asked how she was doing. She told me she had moved into transitional housing.

I asked, “What was the moment that felt most meaningful to you?” And she said, “Making grilled cheese and tomato soup for my children. Just that.” That simple act of care and comfort meant everything to her.

These women have taught me what it means to be a warrior.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Terry Grahl:  I’ve learned that I am a warrior. In 2008, I attended a Country Living event focused on handmade products. We missed our flight, I had a migraine, and I thought, “Great, now I have to talk to a stranger on this plane.”

A man sat next to me and asked what I did. I told him about Enchanted Makeovers. He said, “I minister to men in prison,” and we started sharing our callings. I told him I had been praying for God to break me into a million pieces and rebuild me.

He gently put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Sister, He’s already done that. It’s time to be a warrior.” I got off that flight in tears, but I knew that I was equipped. I could do this.

I’ve also learned the power of prayer and that I am forever a student on this journey. Every lesson, every relationship, every door opened and there’s a reason behind it. Now, even large corporations are reaching out to partner with us. And I’ve learned to hold my head high and use my voice to speak up for women and children everywhere.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Terry Grahl:  At the very beginning, I prayed through tears, arms lifted, saying, “God, give me a voice, please just give me a voice so I can be a voice for others.”

As a child, I was painfully shy. I was bullied constantly from first grade through high school. I was always told to stay quiet….and I did. But God kept His promise. I still can’t believe that a shy girl would grow up to speak on national platforms, even on Kelly Clarkson’s show.

But I know why I’m here. God gave me this voice so I can use it for women, for children, for those who don’t yet believe they’re worthy of being heard.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

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Episode 89: Once Upon a School

As schools are getting ready to close for the summer, today we are talking about what it takes to start a school. This is an inspiring story of heart, hustle, and hope with a guest who turned compassion into action in the most powerful way. What started as a simple realization….a moment of wondering how a mother experiencing homelessness could possibly make it through the day….sparked a movement that’s changing lives and rewriting futures. Kate Kennedy founded a school for children without housing, creating a safe, supportive space where students can rise beyond their circumstances and write their own success stories.

Kate had with no formal title or nonprofit background, took on the impossible by raising millions, building a school from the ground up, and empowering families who are often invisible in our system. Her journey is a testament to the power of listening, trusting yourself, and doing what you know is right, even when the world doubts you. Get ready to be moved, motivated, and reminded that one person truly can make a difference.

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what The Ansley School does?

Kate Kennedy:  The Ansley School is a tuition-free private school in Atlanta for children experiencing homelessness. Too often, these kids fall through the cracks of the system, becoming part of staggering statistics. Without a solid education, the path to a successful life is nearly impossible. Our goal is to give these children the opportunity to write their own story of success, one that rises beyond their circumstances.

Charity Matters: When you were growing up did you have a philanthropic family or role models?

Kate Kennedy:  There’s an exercise I’ve done a few times where you map out your life timeline and mark the moments that stand out. Every time, a clear thread of service and community building runs through it. No matter what I’m doing, that piece is always there, and it definitely comes from my parents. When my mother passed a few years ago, people who didn’t know her or me read her obituary and said, “Oh, that’s you. Now I get it.” She was always active in the community, and I guess that spirit of service is just part of my DNA.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start The Ansley School?

Kate Kennedy:  I remember it vividly. I had spent 20 years at home raising my four kids. Before that, I was a television writer and later worked in a church with teenagers, where I became deeply involved in community service around Atlanta, especially with organizations serving the unhoused. Even while raising my children, I continued volunteering and serving on boards.

One of my sons is neurodivergent and has significant learning challenges. Despite having access to resources, networks, and specialized (and costly) programs, I still had to fight for him every single day to make sure he didn’t fall through the cracks. It was exhausting.

One day, driving through downtown Atlanta, I saw a woman sitting on the curb with her head in her hands, surrounded by four young children…one without shoes, another without a shirt. I passed that road all the time, but something about her stopped me. I thought, How does she do it? I was overwhelmed with support, and still barely managing. Then I thought about my son….what if one of her kids had the same challenges? If I could barely keep mine afloat, how could she possibly manage? That moment gripped me. I couldn’t look away. I couldn’t not act.

The school is called the Boyce L. Ansley School, named after Boyce Ansley who was a true force of nature. She was a mentor to me, a remarkable fundraiser, civic leader, and champion for bringing young professionals into philanthropy. One day, I shared my idea with her and said, “Someone needs to build a school for these kids.” She replied, “Yes, you do.” I laughed and said, “No, not me but somebody.” And she said, “If you open the school, I’ll raise every dollar you need.” Because it had to be free there could be no tuition. When Boyce passed away unexpectedly we knew we had to name then school after her because she was such a huge catalyst.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Kate Kennedy: I started talking to parents and quickly realized the challenges. Without an address, they don’t even know what school to go to. And without housing, they often lack access to basic documents like birth certificates and immunization records and everything needed to enroll. Even for those who do get in, their children often face poor sleep, inadequate nutrition, and lack of proper clothing. The barriers were and are everywhere.

It’s incredibly difficult and so many nonprofits fail. I had identified a real need in our community through public school educators, families, and homeless-serving agencies. My final step was to approach the funding community and none of them wanted to touch it. I didn’t have a title or nonprofit experience. I remember one woman asking, “What’s your title?” Flustered, I said, “I’m just a concerned citizen.” She practically patted me on the head and said, “Oh, you’re in way over your head.”

There’s a difference in a do gooder and a change maker. I  think it’s really important a do gooder does good until, until it gets tough, and then they’re like, oh, that’s I’m out. And the change maker, the founder, it keeps on going even when it just looks impossible.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Kate Kennedy: Once the school opened, the families and the children kept me going, because they’re just precious. And you just look at them and you just think, I can’t not do this for you. I just can’t. You know you deserve this. You are just the sweetest thing, and you deserve this. You have worth, you have dignity, and you know, and so it was the relationships that really changed.

Charity Matters: When do you know you have made a difference?

Kate Kennedy: There were many moments, but one story that really sticks with me happened at the end of our first quarter. We had given our students uniforms: white polo shirts with the school logo and navy skorts or pants. They looked sweet and polished, and we thought white shirts made sense because they could be bleached clean.

At our first parent meeting, we asked for feedback about what was working, what wasn’t. At first, no one said anything. Then one mom raised her hand and said, “The white shirts are hard.” It hadn’t occurred to us that families living in shelters or on the street often don’t have regular access to laundry. The shirts were hard to keep clean.

I asked what would work better, and they said navy blue. So I ordered navy monogrammed shirts and handed them out a few weeks later. The reaction from the mothers was overwhelming. One said, “No one ever listens to us. We have no voice.” And it’s true, especially when children are involved, families experiencing homelessness often stay invisible out of fear of losing their kids. That small change by simply listening, shifted the entire mood of the school.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Kate Kennedy: It was really hard, but I eventually realized that my dream wasn’t to run the day-to-day operations of a school, it was to start a movement. I want to see schools like the Ansley School across the country, because it’s possible.

Through a providential twist of fate, I was connected with a woman in Pittsburgh who wanted to start a similar school. It’s a long, wild story, but we connected, and I’ve been working with her and her team to help make it happen. As I shared the journey and supported them, I realized this story needed to be told. I started writing and writing and before long, I realized: this could actually be a book people might want to read.

Once Upon a School is my book. The first half of the book is about building the school and about my real dream of supporting children without housing. The children that are going to fall through the cracks in our system. The second half of the book is about how it’s really complicated to be a founder.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Kate Kennedy:  The biggest lesson that kept coming up was that I needed to trust myself. I didn’t have all the answers, but I knew what I knew and I was aware of what I didn’t. I asked questions, listened, and the school was thriving. We had a $2 million budget, and I raised it almost entirely on my own each year.

Still, people would say, “You haven’t been in the business world,” or “You stayed home with your kids, you don’t know”—all the bless your heart stuff (I’m Southern). which, by the way, is not a compliment in the south. What I was doing was working. I mean, the evidence was all around me. So I look back now and I think I should have trusted myself more.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Kate Kennedy: I do, I’ve changed a lot. I have much better boundaries now and trust myself a lot more. I think those are the biggest shifts. I’m also much more aware of the challenges children without housing face when it comes to education. I always knew it was an issue, but now I feel like I can truly be a voice for them because I’ve walked alongside so many families living through it. It’s one thing to understand the problem from a distance but it’s completely different when you’ve lived it up close.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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Episode 88: A Brighter Day

I am so excited to introduce you today to an amazing man, Elliot Kallen. He is a passionate entrepreneur, nonprofit founder, and father who has transformed personal tragedy into a mission of hope. As the CEO of multiple companies and the founder of A Brighter Day, Elliot brings both business acumen and deep empathy to his work. After losing his 19-year-old son, Jake, to suicide, Elliot committed himself to supporting teens struggling with depression and anxietywith his nonprofit,  A Brighter Day.

Today his organization touches thousands of families each month. Grounded in the life lessons passed down from his Holocaust-survivor mother, Elliot lives with a deep sense of purpose—driven not by profit, but by impact. His story is one of resilience, love, and an unwavering belief in the power of helping others.

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what A Brighter Day does?

Elliot Kallen: What we do is we create resources for teens and their families on stress and depression with the goal of stopping teen suicide.

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about Growing up and your family?

Elliot Kallen: I’m the CEO of three companies right now. I grew up in a very middle-class home in New Jersey. My parents were community-minded and active members of our local synagogue. We gave money, even though my dad never made more than forty thousand dollars a year, and my mom was your typical 1960s–70s stay-at-home mom. Still, we gave back.

My mom often spoke about her father, who was a librarian in Vienna and probably made five dollars a week during the Great Depression. Every week, he would empty the change from his pockets, and that’s what he would donate. We were always taught to give back. Most of the time, that meant giving to family or helping cousins around the world.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start A Brighter Day?

Elliot Kallen:  It’s a heartbreaking story, and sadly, it doesn’t have a happy ending. Eleven years ago, my 19-year-old son, Jake—a sophomore at the University of Montana—took his life in the early hours of a Friday morning. No drugs, no alcohol. He walked onto the highway and stepped in front of a truck.

We were frantically searching for him all day because his phone was off—something no teenager ever does. At 6:30 that evening, FedEx delivered a six-page suicide note. That’s how we found out he was gone. His note was filled with the typical ramblings of a teen in crisis, but one paragraph stood out. He wrote, “Mom and Dad, I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. I never would have told you how I felt. I never would have asked for your help. And I never would have taken your help.”

It was as if he was trying to let us off the hook—but how could we ever be?

His mother and I flew to Spokane the next morning, then drove to Missoula to claim his body, which had been left unclaimed at a funeral home. On the flight home, his body in the cargo hold beneath us, I kept rereading that paragraph. I turned to his mother and said, “We have to do something to prevent this devastation from happening to other families.” She replied, “I can’t do it. You’re on your own.” And so, I began the journey to create a nonprofit.

At first, the idea was to use music—bring in adult cover bands and host events for teens with mental health resources. But when we met with local musicians, they gave me critical advice: “This has to be for teens—by teens. No adult bands, no adults in the room. Teens won’t open up if they feel watched. And the resources have to be teen-friendly. Most mental health tools are built for adults, and they miss the mark.”

We decided to focus on depression, anxiety, and suicide prevention—issues teens face every day. A recent survey showed that nearly 50% of teens have felt anxious or depressed in the past year, and many have had suicidal thoughts.

I often describe it like this: imagine a six-sided box—four walls, a top, and a bottom. For teens, it’s rarely all blue sky. Life can feel like constant turmoil. And when all six sides of the box feel black—when it’s all pain and no light—some teens begin to believe, “Yesterday was awful. Tomorrow will be worse. No one will miss me anyway.”

That moment—that hopelessness—is where suicide lives. That’s what we’re trying to stop.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Elliot Kallen: I don’t want to downplay how cathartic it’s been to start a nonprofit and to share Jake’s story—especially in that first year. Every time I told it, I could barely hold back tears. What surprised me was how many people shared their own stories in return—about their uncle, aunt, parent, sibling. We cried together. I kept tissues nearby and handed them out often. If you cried in my office, chances are I was crying too.

Sometimes, I still go to the cemetery. Nothing changes—the view, the conversation—but it grounds me. I stand on Jake’s grave to read the plaque, and I talk to him. I talk to God. I don’t want to imagine Jake’s face in the clouds like a movie ending. But I do hope he’s listening.

I’ve built and sold businesses, so I understand the lifecycle—products, services, cash flow, lawsuits, people problems. A nonprofit is different. You still have people issues—because people are people—but the bigger challenge is constantly telling the story in a way that touches hearts. That’s not hard for me. The hard part is finding the right audience to tell it to. Filling rooms, building an online following, gaining traction—that’s the uphill battle.

And here’s the truth: every nonprofit is regional—until it either goes national or goes out of business. I’ve served on national boards like the Boys and Girls Clubs and the American Cancer Society. They were national before I joined. My nonprofit, A Brighter Day, has resources used in all 50 states, but when it comes to fundraising, we’re still very local. Regional nonprofits live hand-to-mouth. That means I need to lead, write checks, and carry the mission forward every day.

But I don’t want to die and take the nonprofit with me. I’m working hard to build sustainability so I can eventually step back from being the de facto leader and just serve as a board member. We talk constantly about that next step—about building longevity and putting a structure in place so A Brighter Day has legs without me.

I believe there should always be a Kallen on the board—because it began with us—but they don’t have to lead. They just need to show up once a year, wherever they live, to remind others why we exist. This began with Jake, but it doesn’t have to end with me. That’s the goal.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Elliot Kallen: I’ve been very blessed in my life. Even after losing my son to suicide, I still consider myself incredibly fortunate. I grew up in a small, middle-class home, but I was always deeply loved. My father was part of the Greatest Generation and my mother survived Auschwitz. They had both seen unthinkable tragedy and loss.

Their voices still guide me—what I call the “schizophrenic voices” on my shoulders, not devil and angel, but Mom and Dad. My father’s message was always, “You can never make up for hard work,” and he instilled that in his three children—we all became workaholics. My mother’s voice says, “You can do better today than you did yesterday, and better tomorrow than today.”

That mindset stays with me. I still come to work each day with energy and excitement, whether it’s in my for-profit ventures or in the nonprofit space. In business, I’m always asking how we can grow, improve, and learn from our missteps—because mistakes are just painful learning moments. In the nonprofit world, the question is: how do we serve more people, more effectively, without burning through resources?

Every organization, for-profit or nonprofit, has a financial burn rate. If you ignore that, one day you wake up and can’t make payroll. That’s the reality. Whether or not you call it capitalism, we’re all accountable to the numbers—even in service work.

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Elliot Kallen:  Right now, through A Brighter Day and all our online resources at abrighterday.info, we’re reaching thousands. One of our biggest tools is a teen-focused texting crisis line that gets 50 to 150 new teens every month. They receive a response within five minutes—because teens love to text—and almost every single one asks the same heartbreaking question: “Am I the only one feeling this way?” They’re incredibly isolated.

We also know that if your teen came to you and said, “Mom, I’m cutting” or “I’m thinking about hurting myself,” you’d do everything you could to get them help. But in most places it can take 6 to 10 weeks to get a live appointment with a licensed therapist. We can connect teens with a licensed therapist via Zoom in all 50 states within seven days. And while virtual counseling isn’t quite the same as being in the room, it’s still meaningful support—and we cover the cost for 90 days.

Right now, we’re reaching between 3,000 and 6,000 families every single month.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Elliot Kallen: If there’s one word that defines our goal, it’s impact. We want to make a meaningful difference in people’s lives, and that only happens if our message truly reaches them.

People ask me, “Where do you see yourself in 20 years?” My honest answer: I hope I’m still alive—but not still running the charity. That would mean I failed to build something sustainable. What I really hope is that, at my funeral, someone stands up and says, “He made a major impact on everyone he touched.” That’s the legacy I’m striving for.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Elliot Kallen: The biggest lesson? Life is incredibly short. My mother used to say, “Life goes by in the blink of an eye,” and I never understood it until I got older—but she was right.

You can’t take life for granted. You have to show up every day with the right attitude, because attitude really iseverything. If you keep putting in the effort with heart and intention, good things follow.

What truly matters is the people around you, the lives you touch, the impact you make. It’s not just about who’s impacted you—it’s about how many lives you can reach and make better. If you focus on that, you’re doing something truly great.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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Episode 87: Raregivers Global

You’ve heard me say it time and time again—the universe constantly places incredible people in my path. Sometimes I think my brain has a special filter that helps me find the very best humans on this planet. A few months ago, I was speaking to a National Charity League group and selling books when this bright light of a woman approached to buy a few. We started talking, and of course—she’s a nonprofit founder! But she is so much more than that. Her story is as amazing as she is.

I am truly excited for you to meet Cristol Barrett O’Loughlin and hear her incredible journey of service with her nonprofit, RareGivers Global—a worldwide network that provides emotional support to caregivers of those with rare, chronic, and complex diseases. Did you know that 350 million people worldwide live with a rare disease? That’s 1 in 15 families globally who are navigating these caregiving challenges. Cristol’s story is ultimately a love story—for her brothers, whom she lost to a rare disease—and how she now uses her life to help countless others.

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Raregiver Global does?

Cristol Barrett O’Loughlin: Raregivers cares for the caregivers. We are all about providing emotional relief services to caregivers that are living in what we call a radical caregiving environment. We work specifically with patients, parents and  healthcare professionals in rare, chronic and complex diseases. There’s about 10,000 uncured rare diseases that have been genetically identified, and it’s not a small community. It’s the wrong word… rare. The rare disease community is actually one in 10 families in the United States, and one in 15 worldwide.

This is really radical caregiving. This is 24/7 medical management at home. This is doing skilled nursing interventions like administering epileptic medications every hour on the hour, 24/7 for decades.

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about Growing Up…Did you have any indicators that maybe you would go into this type of work?

Cristol Barrett O’Loughlin:  My parents met when they were 15—he was the football captain, she was the cheerleader. They married at 19 and told their pediatrician they wanted a big family. Within eight years, they had five children. What my mother didn’t know was that she was a carrier for Hunter Syndrome, a rare genetic disorder affecting boys.

My oldest brother didn’t have it, but my younger brothers David, Jared, and Randy did. My mom noticed early delays in their development. Eventually, they received the diagnosis: Hunter Syndrome. There’s no cure. Our family went through every phase of grief, holding on to hope.

I was 10 when Randy passed at 12. My other brothers passed at 18 and 19. I was 10, 14, and 15 when they died. Not long after, my parents divorced. Later, I learned that divorce rates are six times higher in rare disease families. Depression, anxiety, and addiction rates are also staggeringly high among caregivers.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start Raregivers Global?

Cristol Barrett O’Loughlin:  You even mentioned in your book, Change for Good, the impact of mortality events.  I think there is a moment in your life where you realize you’re mortal.  You think, I may not be on the planet as long as I thought I was going to be. This is not a dress rehearsal and we only have one life to make our mark.  I always wanted to be in an environment where I can give back and to have some sort of meaningful element to the work I’m doing.  That moment for me was far after my brothers had passed.

As I started thinking about starting a family.  I was genetically tested and actually found out that I was a carrier. And based on that, my dad and I go to the national MPs (Hunter’s Syndrome) family conference. We walk in the door and we look around and there are all these young men that look like my brothers. It just gave me chills.

I came home and said to my girlfriends, “There’s a part of my history that I’ve never really shared with you.  And I want to do something.” We started a fundraising organization called Angel Aid.  Angel is a moniker, A, N, G, E, L which stands for A Nonprofit Group Enriching Lives.

It took awhile but we raised $50,000 and in 2002 we received a matching research grant  which went on to become an FDA approved treatment. The research doctor had this very elegant idea that if the kids are missing the enzyme, they need to create a synthetic version of that enzyme, and we’ll flush it through their body like dialysis, Enzyme Therapy. We went through FDA approval that funded research. Then  we went through clinical trial, and now young men that would have passed away in their teens are going off to college.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Cristol Barrett O’Loughlin:  The challenge is that missions morph. Angel Aid was the precursor to Rare Givers.  And here’s the challenge. There’s no cures for any of these diseases.  Community is not a cure, it’s a treatment.  I mentioned 10,000 rare diseases, one in 10, one in 15. Worldwide, that’s  350 million families and there’s only treatments for 5% of that community. So the challenge is the other 95% have no options, none.  They’re going through the same cycles that my family went through holding hope and grief in the same heart every single day.

In 2016, I went in and I got a routine mammogram. I came out with a breast cancer diagnosis.  I was like, Oh no, well, there’s another shift in mortality.  Now I have a 10 year old. I’m married. What hit my heart was, what am I waiting for?  I thought my community was the MP/Hunter’s Syndrome community. Then I realized, my community is this much broader community. I was waking up every single night, thinking these families with rare diseases must all be in emotional crisis. There’s no cures. That community needs emotional support like I received with breast cancer support.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Cristol Barrett O’Loughlin: My mother inspires me because, as I mentioned, my parents divorced, and my mother went on a very deep, dark journey with alcohol,  gambling, with any really kind of escape mechanism to deal with the pain and grief.

We can’t imagine the choices that my family’s had to make. Somewhere along the way, her faith pulled her through, and she got sober. She came back to me. My mom showed up for my daughter and my family in a way that was really profound. She actually reconnected with my father and did a lot of really healing conversations. So what fuels me is very personal, but it’s also, an example of what can happen in rare disease families. This is the joy to the grief.

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Cristol Barrett O’Loughlin: We’ve identified 287 pieces of published research on the emotional toll of rare disease caregiving. From this, we developed an emotional journey map outlining six stages families go through—from noticing changes in a loved one to diagnosis, caregiving, and end-of-life care.

We started with seven women in a living room in 2019. Today, we’ve reached 77,000 families. Our guidebook—thanks to Microsoft—has been translated into 12 languages. With AI tools, they’re working on 400 more. Our goal? Reach 3.5 million rare givers by 2026. What do we need now? Funding. But we have momentum on our side.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Cristol Barrett O’Loughlin:  I dream big. My dream is very clear and specific. I want Dolly Parton to write a song about RareGivers. Then Melinda Gates will hear it, fund a $10 million endowment, and Oprah will spread the word to hospitals worldwide. Colin Farrell, whose son has a rare disease, will join in. Chris Hemsworth will visit rare disease families in Australia. Eva Longoria will thank us at a L’Oréal event. John Mayer will bring a Hunter Syndrome patient onstage. And Julia Roberts will direct and star in an Amazon series to educate the world. That’s my dream.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Cristol Barrett O’Loughlin: When I was younger, I used to think that I was creating change in the world and I would just muscle it out and use my intellect, my network, connections, skills and just manifest change. During COVID, it was just a global pandemic, that humbles you in a way that  you just can’t deny.  We had to relaunch Rare Givers.  I started realizing that I can’t muscle through this.

I was looking at my mother, she’s a very strong woman of faith, and I really had not cultivated that side of my heart and my soul.  The word surrender just kept coming up again and again.  It brings me to tears, because as soon as I surrendered the outcome, then it just became an exercise in faith. I will tell you that the miracles just start coming, and then you start living in gratitude, hopping from miracle to miracle and that exact right person arrives.

Charity Matters: You mentioned there was a happy ending to your familY’s story, can you share it with us?

Cristol Barrett O’Loughlin: My parents married young and lost three of their five children. They divorced, remarried, divorced again, and married new partners for 20 years. Both were widowed in the same year our daughter Chloe was born.

Chloe’s arrival reopened their hearts. After 35 years apart, they began dating again. And last year, at 81 years old, we remarried them—60 years after their original wedding. That’s our happy ending.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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Episode 86: William’s Be Yourself Challenge

Easter has passed and we are officially into springtime, the season of renewal. There is no greater renewal story than today’s guest Susan Shaw. Susie and her husband lost their nine year old son William in an accident. In the years that followed they have taken that pain and turned into purpose for other grieving families.

Join us today for a powerful conversation about love, loss and renewal. Susie’s journey is one of inspiration and hope that there is always love.

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what WBYC does?

Susie Shaw: At WBYC, we empower individuals to embrace their authentic selves with courage and joy. We are dedicated to fostering meaningful connections within our community and supporting grieving families by providing the tools they need to honor their loved ones and navigate their journeys of healing. Together, we create spaces where love, remembrance, and personal growth flourish.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start WBYC?

Susie Shaw: We started the organization shortly after my son William died. He died in 2019, when we were on a family ski trip out in Montana.  William was nine. There was an accident and, as you can imagine, it was one of the most painful and excruciating events that I’ve ever experienced. The beauty that came from my community after he died, was incredible. I live in a very small town, where everybody knows everybody.

 When William died, he was in third grade and the whole town suffered with us.  As time went on, we started  to notice and hear that some of William’s friends and parents were still struggling in their grief.  A year after William had died, my husband and my surviving son, Kai, were getting support. We were going to the grief groups because there are services for people like us there. There aren’t any services for best friends.

If you’re the friend of a little boy who dies, there’s no support group for that right? I was so close with all of these families that I just hated what I was seeing for them.  So a group of moms got together with my permission, and they decided to put on our very first event playing a game William loved. When we saw the excitement and the beauty and the love that all these kids felt for each other while honoring William and they had that agency over their feelings. Williams Be Yourself Challenge spawned out of that inaugural event. We went on to host an educational lecture and brought in a therapist to talk about grieving for the community. 

 I also realized how privileged my family has been in our grief journey and the support that we have received through therapy and our beautiful community. My husband got to take six months off of work. That is not the norm.  We had this unbelievable privilege of him taking those six months and we got to travel as a new family of three to figure out. We were able to create some new memories. All this stuff that happened in the early months after William died was percolating in me. A while after, I thought,” I wish other families could have this. I wish other families could go away, because sometimes home is hard. The bedroom is there, the toys are there.” There’s all these reminders. 

We’re currently raising money to be able to buy a single family home for families who have suffered the loss of either a child or a parent. We want to be able to give 52 families per year a free week-long vacation. I realized that getting away was so incredibly important for our family. Now all I want to do is allow other families to have just a week. Isn’t long enough, but it’s something.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Susie Shaw:  I am an entrepreneur. And that was something I had never done before.  This isn’t me. My first job out of college, I was in the nonprofit space.  I worked for the United Cerebral Palsy of Chicago. I was their events planner, and it was an amazing job. Then I worked at the Museum of Modern Art in New York in their development office and at the LA County Museum of Art. So, I had this past of service and understanding of the world of philanthropy and giving.

Some of my challenges have been being the starter. Before, when I was in nonprofit, I was the worker.  Now I’m telling people what to do. I’m walking that line of not trying not to control too much, but needing help finding the right help. Now we need expertise in real estate and in planned giving.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Susie Shaw: I just think about the families that I want to serve because I know what it feels like to need that support, you know. I’ve walked their path. And I certainly don’t want to insinuate that I know what every grieving family feels like, because every grieving family has their own unique story. However, I do think that some of the things we want to do for these families are universal. You want to be cared for. You want to be seen in your grief. You want to be witnessed in your grief, and know that somebody is looking out for you who understands.

And so that’s what I think about when, when I get off a call with a potential donor who just doesn’t get it or isn’t interested in the project.. It happens. You’re not going to relate to everybody.  Then I go back to the families because I’ve been there and I know how painful it is.

 I just want to be able to give other families that same little bit of hope to know that they’re going to be able to survive. I was so afraid that my family would disintegrate after William died. Instead, we had a ton of support, a ton of guidance and we’re doing wonderfully.  We brought a new child into our life. We have a four year old, Cody and he is just the best thing that we could have done for our family. 

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Susie Shaw: it’s hard to quantify, because what we’re trying to do is such an emotional experience. We don’t have a program where we’re hiring therapists to execute with immeasurable results. However, I do think about success in getting feedback from a family who spends a week at our house and telling me that it was transformative, that it was healing and that it was important. I also think about those families than telling their friends about it, and maybe those friends then donate to us. That, to me, is a measure of success. Or those guests that come to our house and tell their grief support groups about their experience and create a referral system. That’s a measure of success. The fact that people are recognizing that this is a needed service within the grief space is success as well.  

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Susie Shaw: if we had a network of grief retreat homes for families.  That would be beyond my wildest dream. Then we could serve double and triple and quadruple the amount of families. With one house, we can serve 52 families a year, if we were to have people there all year. 

Judy’s house is a grief support group out of Denver and they partner with New York Life Foundation.  Both are responsible for sort of quantifying data around bereaved families. Their newest report has just come out. They have found that one in 11 children will suffer the loss of a sibling or a parent before they turn 18. Wow. That is so many families!  52 families to me, sounds like an amazing feat, but that’s barely scratching the surface of how many families need grief support.  If we can have more, let’s have more!

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Susie Shaw:  I’m grateful for every moment.  There’s no rush in any of this. Let’s just be really intentional about what we decide to do today or this week or this month, and that’s really helped me slow down in everything.  I just feel like I’m a better human being.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Susie Shaw: When William died, my entire life changed 100%.  I am a mother and I have two living children as well.  I identify as a bereaved mother. Sometimes first, because it has changed me so much more than even becoming a mother. Losing a child has changed me more than giving birth to three children.

I think I’m a better person. I really do. And I talk a lot with other bereaved moms. There’s a similar sentiment among many of us. I mean, we were just cracked open.  Everything just came pouring out….The good, the bad, all of it and I guess I just feel like I’ve grown so much in my empathy and for all types of people. Especially with my little four year old, I am so much more patient because I view motherhood in a new way…… that we all just need to slow down.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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Episode 85: The KinderSmile Foundation

Did you know that students miss 53 million hours of school each year due to oral disease? I did not but thanks to our amazing guest today I have learned so much about what our underserved communities around the country are facing with a lack of proper dental care. I am so excited to introduce you to the amazing Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes. A full time dentist, a mother and a nonprofit founder on a mission to change all of that with the KinderSmile Foundation.

Join us for an incredible conversation that will inspire you in unbelievable ways. If you don’t think one person can change the world then you haven’t met Dr. Nicole!  Dr. Nicole is pure sunshine in a bottle and will definitely give you something to smile about!

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what The KinderSmile Foundation does?

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes: KinderSmile Foundation is a 501, c3, non profit organization whose mission is to increase oral care access and oral care education for low income children and Perinatal mothers and their families. And our vision hopes to eradicate the number one preventable disease, which is oral disease, and that every child has a chance to see a dentist.

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about Growing up? Did you have any philanthropic role models?

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes: Growing up, I can identify multiple role models. My mother, of course, was one. She was an immigrant from Jamaica, West Indies. My mother worked very hard, and she poured into us giving back, giving back, giving back in her own way.  I noticed as a young child, I always had an affinity to serve and to give back. Either I was taking some young children to the park or babysitting or helping the elderly. It was always part of my fabric and my soul. And so I think that’s where that philanthropic part of me started as a very, very young child. 

When I completed dental school 1991 I was this black, successful dentist in northern New Jersey, Montclair, New Jersey, I checked off all the boxes you have, your home, your children, so forth and so on. But my whole soul was still craving or yearning for something. I had a hole in my soul despite checking off all the boxes. And then you realize that there’s a difference between providing a service, like what you do in dentistry or serving your community. What I was missing was serving my community. 

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start The KinderSmile Foundation?

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes: That moment was in 2007 when I decided to open up my private practice to children at a local Head Start in Montclair, New Jersey.  I asked the Executive Director of that program to please bus children to my office. I wanted to treat them for free as long as they have the consent from their parents. One evening I received a phone call from my receptionist. She said, ” Dr Nicole. There is a five year old little girl here in the office now. They need help. They need an emergency exam.”

 And so I leave my children, I go to the office. There was this little five year old black girl,  we’ll call her Z,  and she leaped into my arms. She literally had an abscess the size of a golf ball. And when I saw that, my heart stopped after leaving my children, because my son was almost that age.  I knew that it could potentially be deadly. So I spoke to the grandmother, and I said, “Look, this is serious. We gotta get on some antibiotics. Do you have any insurance? ” And she said, ” Well, we live in Union County, we live 30 minutes away. We could not find a dentist in a 35 mile radius to treat her because we have state Medicaid.”

So that night, I went home, and I could not sleep. I fell to my knees, and I had a long conversation with God.  I literally said,” if this is my purpose, confirm it. The next morning, I was reading the ADA quarterly news, about a 12 year old,  black boy from Prince George’s County, Maryland, who died from that same toothache, infection that little Z had. He was 12 years old. His mother was burying her first child because no one wanted to treat him because he had Medicaid. All it would take was two minutes of writing a prescription. 

It was at that was that moment, November 2007 that I started KinderSmile Foundation. I knew nothing about a nonprofit, absolutlely nothing.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes: Some of the early challenges were juggling a family, a private practice all while starting a nonprofit.  Some of the challenges as a woman entrepreneur you’re balancing family life because you’re driven by your passion. You’re driven by the fact that there’s a problem and I can solve it, or I can contribute to the resolution of this issue.

 Then  trying to get other people in my profession to understand why I’m doing this and the necessity. That was very difficult, because public health dentistry is not necessarily viewed as a successful entity of the dental profession. And if you don’t know that 53 million hours in school are missed every year due to oral disease, you don’t know that. I had to educate my colleagues, not to get offended, but to educate them. So the education took at least seven to 10 years. Now we have a list of volunteer dentists who are willing to participate, who are willing to open up their doors and to treat our children and our patients. So it’s worth it. The persistence paid off.

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes:  I tend to look at it qualitatively. Education to me is the key. And for me, success is if I can educate a child, one family at a time, the extractions, the fillings, the dental services,  that is the icing on the cake. But if you can really meet them where they are, to edify and encourage them that you know what? Your child doesn’t need to have a cavity. This is the way you go about it. That’s what makes me sleep at night.

Yes, the grants that you receive, or the $16 million worth of in kind services, or the 8000 patients we see annually, yes, those numbers are impactful. But the lives that you save through compassion, educating, and letting them know that I Care Dental Homes that we built, not dental clinics, which has a negative connotation, but the Dental Homes that are beautifully decorated and clean and organized. When they walk in, they say, “This is for me,. whether I have dental insurance or not.” That is success. They know they can always come back to a KinderSmile community for quality, comprehensive treatment. That to me is success.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes:  The big dream would be the expansion of our KinderSmile dental homes and our KinderSmile community oral health centers. I would like to see that in other areas in the country. A dental home that opens the door to the underinsured. Replicate our model and have it in other indigent areas because we know the model works. We know the mission and the vision is so impactful.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes:  I learned that first of all the word obedience blares out right when you’re called to do something trust and have that faith. But I also learned  that persistence wins and humility connects God. Persistency wins and humility connects because when you’re humble, you realize it’s not about you. When I’m speaking to my colleagues, and you’re humble, regardless of what they’re thinking, your humility is going to connect.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes:  This has been a wonderful journey. A wonderful, wonderful journey. One thing, I could definitely say is that I get less offended. I think in the early years, when colleagues would say insensitive things like, “What’s it in for me?”  or “I don’t treat those.” I would take it just a tad bit personally. When you step back and you realize that it’s bigger than you, but most importantly, it’s not about you.  Then you get less offended. Then you say, let me use this platform to educate my colleagues, to educate people, regardless of your socioeconomic status or your color or your race or your religion. This is my purpose. This is my journey. So let me educate because you don’t know what you don’t know.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes:  To be very honest, what fueled me was my faith and that I was brought here for a reason. This is my purpose. And when you know that, you know that. You know this is a purpose, there’s no such thing as giving up.  You understand that there will be dark times and there will be light times, but you still persist, because it’s bigger than me. It’s serving a community and it’s creating a legacy.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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Episode 84: Thrive in Joy: The Nick Fagnano Foundation

I get asked all the time about the people/nonprofit founders who inspire me the most. While I am truly inspired by all who serve and I do not have “favorites.” The answer is people who have lost children and take that unbelievable grief and pain and recycle it into good. Those are the people that I will never forget. Their stories and their children’s stories stay with me. These people are my heroes and their love for their child becomes their love for others. It is the ultimate recycling of pain to purpose.

Today’s guest, Mary Fagnano is one of those remarkable humans. When her young son Nick was struck by lightning on a summer day at the beach, her life and her husband’s life were forever changed. Nick was their only child and a remarkable young man heading off to college. His life and legacy of service lives on through the beautiful foundation his parents created called the Thrive In Joy, Nick Fagnano Foundation. Join us today for an inspirational conversation that you won’t want to miss.

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Thrive IN Joy Nick Fagnano Foundation does?

Mary Fagnano:  At the Thrive In Joy Nick Fagnano Foundation, we encourage young people to discover their character strengths and the joy of service through programs inspired by the life of our son Nick.

Charity Matters: What were some early influences on your giving back?

Mary Fagnano:   My mom volunteered a lot in school. She had a drama and speech  background and would go into schools and do creative dramatics and music. I would tag along with her in those early days. My father was always volunteering.  He adopted a family from Afghanistan through our church and brought them into our family.  I did grow up seeing my parents doing outreach and giving of themselves in my own life.

I look back and the first thing I remember is when I moved to Los Angeles, and I was trying to meet people. I moved here and the church I was going to had a program where you could go to juvenile hall and you could volunteer and talk to young people who were incarcerated.  It was a really powerful experience and the first time in my life that I had really put myself out there. 

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start The Thrive IN Joy Nick Fagnano Foundation?

Mary Fagnano: Nick always inspired me. He always inspired me to be a better person. He did this baseball equipment drive for kids in the Dominican Republic when he was going from Little League into high school. He loved baseball, and he had rallied his friends because he saw something on TV about how kids in the DR love baseball, but can’t afford the proper equipment. As a result, he put this drive together.

Another influence in my nonprofit journey was this guy named Greg Buzek, who I was in the advertising and marketing world with.  He had started an organization that brought executives together for a common good to help vulnerable children around the world, and they would make these service trips.   Nick was 20 when he passed.

Well, the signs that lead us. I was having a tough time and said, “Nick, I need to feel you. I need to know you’re here.” And at that moment, my phone rang, and it was Greg Bucha. And it was that call that really changed our life and started Jay and I to have a purpose. That phone call from Greg came only about four or five weeks after we’d lost Nick. 

Greg remembered that I had said that we were going to go to the Dominican Republic. And he said, “Maybe we’ve got this trip coming up. We’re going to install a computer lab at this school, and maybe you and Jay would want to go on this trip, because you never went with Nick” There were just so many signs on that trip that Nick wanted us there.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Mary Fagnano: We came back from that trip and did an extreme makeover in one classroom at this school in the DR. There was something that just told us we can do all ten classrooms. And we came back and we had a fundraiser, and we did have a great community so we raised $30,000.

The Foundation started in 2016 when we got our 501, c3. In 2016, we had a board that was focused on this little project in the Dominican Republic, helping out at an orphanage in a school and taking two trips a year to go there and do work. Then the board said to us, “This is great. You’re doing this in the DR, and we’ve seen how this has really been something that’s helped keep Nick’s memory alive. But if we’re really going to be a legitimate nonprofit, we want to have sustainability. We need to look local, and we need to find something local that we can do. “

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Mary Fagnano: Nick. Our board did some background research and found this Values in Action organization. We aligned the descriptive words of Nick against 24 character strengths that Values in Action defines through their scientific studies. And they have a survey that every student can take, every adult can take. It gives you this lineup of your top 10 character strengths. This is where we realized, okay, we do have something here.

Charity Matters: When do you know you have made a difference?

Mary Fagnano:  It’s the people we’re serving and the people who serve alongside of us. No nonprofit can operate without volunteers and but it’s the stories. 

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Mary Fagnano: Our impact is what happens through the young people that are part of our programs. We’ll talk about impact right now with our C 11 program.  The young people involved in our program have a project called an ESIP. It stands for entrepreneurial social impact project. At each school where we start with these foundational kind of modules to get that handle on character.

Every year, in the spring they have to do a they have to produce an ESIP. What they produce and how they’ve grown and how they activated their entire campus  is what gives me such impact. This group of students started out with a little leadership team, and then they recruited a club, and now they’ve got like 30 members. Those 30 members had this positive impact on their entire campus with discussions on body positivity or whatever subject.

The students brought together community resources, and they invited their whole campus and everybody could talk to these different organizations.  Everything from financial security, to safety, to riding public transportation, to health and safety. All are the students’ ideas. I measure the impact. I count how many you know people did this small group of students bring together?  Each school that we partner with creates its own little mini nonprofit and picks a cause they believe in as long as it aligns with mixed values, that were things that were important to Nick.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Mary Fagnano:  I would like to see the C 11 program go global. That would be the big dream.  I want to see that. Just continuing that everybody who wants to have the C 11 program and that every school  feels that there’s a value to this in their school.  We can provide it, and the dream is that we’re constantly able to improve it and update it and make it more exciting and more engaging. 

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Mary Fagnano: People say when you have a child, it changes your life. When you lose a child, it changes your life. Absolutely and I have changed by carrying a lot more about a lot of things that I think are more long lasting than the things that I cared about before.  Nick was only always number one. Everything about being a parent for both Jay and I, it was great. And so losing that and losing all of that purpose, and being able to find a different way to channel it has been a gift.

After Nick died, we found an essay that he wrote when he was a freshman in college. The title of the essay was the reality of heaven. The essay was a five page essay about all the different world religions and what they believe happens when people die. Nick concluded in this essay that his Christian faith tells him that when he dies, he will be finally reunited with the loved ones that he’s lost on earth. And he wrote, “I believe that when I go to heaven, I expect to feel joy, gratitude and excitement. I don’t believe that people should say rest in peace. Perhaps a phrase such as thrive in joy better reflects how I want to spend eternity.”

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Mary Fagnano: I would say the biggest lesson that I’ve learned is never to take a day for granted. Every day is precious. Every relationship that is important to you is precious. There’s never enough hours in the day, and you can’t beat yourself up about that. You try to get in everything you can in a day.

I don’t want to live an easy life. I want to live a meaningful life.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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