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Vacation all I ever wanted

“Vacation, all I ever wanted… vacation, had to get away…” That epic Go-Go’s anthem has been the soundtrack running through my head these past few weeks. Maybe it’s the heat of August. Maybe it’s the exhaustion catching up with me from our summer work wrapping up. Or maybe it’s just that deep-down yearning for something we all crave but often overlook: rest.

After all, this is the season when the world finally exhales. The emails slow, the calendars loosen, and for a brief window of time, we’re allowed to step back. It’s the one time of year when the word “away” feels not only possible…but necessary.

If you’re someone who gives a lot, whether that’s to your family, your community, your nonprofit, your classroom, your cause……there is a chance that you likely don’t hit pause very often. Helpers tend to put others’ needs ahead of their own, believing there’s always one more thing that can be done, one more person to care for, one more task that can’t wait. The world often celebrates this drive, calling it noble or selfless. And yes, it is but only to a point. Because when we give and give without refueling, eventually… we run out of gas.

I know this feeling well. That running-on-empty sensation, when even the simplest things feel heavy. And yet, pausing still feels like a luxury we can’t quite justify. “Who will do it if I don’t?” we ask. But here’s the truth that’s taken me years to learn: We are no good to others when we are running on fumes.

Self-care isn’t indulgent. It’s not optional. For people who live their lives in service of others, it’s essential. I say that not as a motivational quote on a coffee mug, but as someone who has experienced firsthand what happens when we ignore that inner voice crying out for rest. Our bodies whisper… then nudge… and if we still don’t listen, they shout.

Think about it…would you let your car go 10,000 miles without an oil change? Would you expect a phone to last a week on one charge? Of course not. But somehow, we expect our hearts and minds to keep giving without ever recharging. And worse, we feel guilty when we try.

I want to flip that narrative.

Imagine for a moment that taking care of yourself isn’t selfish, but actually one of the most generous things you can do. Imagine that every walk you take, every nap you allow yourself, every chapter of a good book you read, or every afternoon you spend staring at the ocean, is a gift you are giving, not just to yourself, but to everyone you serve.

Because when we are rested, we are more present. We are more patient. We are more creative, more kind, more joyful. And isn’t that what the world really needs from us?

I’ve learned that vacation doesn’t always have to mean a plane ticket and a suitcase (though those are lovely). Sometimes it means carving out a morning to sit in silence. Sometimes it means saying “no” without guilt. Sometimes it’s a walk around the block, alone with your thoughts. Sometimes it’s stepping away from your inbox or turning off your phone for the afternoon. The point isn’t how long you get away…it’s that you get away. Even just for a little while.

We all have different ways of finding rest and renewal. For me, it’s water and simply being outside to play. Something about the water calms my soul. For others, it’s a mountain trail, a cozy blanket and a journal, or the hum of a favorite song in the background while the world slows down. The important thing is knowing what refuels you and honoring it.

If you’re someone who helps others, who shows up, gives back, volunteers, leads, or serves then please, let this be your permission slip: You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to turn down the noise and just be. You are allowed to have a moment…no, a whole season of care, not just for others, but for you.

Because when we care for ourselves, we’re not quitting. We’re strengthening our ability to keep going.

So yes, vacation is all I ever wanted. Not just the sandy toes and umbrella drinks (although those help too!) but the deeper kind of vacation. The kind where we find our center again, where we remember what matters most, and where we return to ourselves… so that we can return to others whole.

Here’s to rest. Here’s to renewal. And here’s to every helper who finally says, “I need a break” and actually takes one.

You deserve it!

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2025 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

A little Blue Sky is good for everyone

Are you an optimist? I definitely am and I love meeting positive people who look at the world through slightly rose colored glasses. So I was especially thrilled when Bill Burke the founder of the Optimism Institute reached out to invite me on his incredible podcast, A Bit of Blue Sky.

Bill  founded The Optimism Institute in 2022 after an extensive media career. He was the CEO of The Weather Channel Companies and President of TBS Superstation. Bill co-authored Ted Turner’s top-10 New York Times Best-Selling autobiography Call Me Ted and is a lifelong optimist. He launched The Optimism Institute with a mission to inspire people with an optimistic, hopeful vision of the world and its future. In short, Bill is my people.

 

 

It is always terrific to talk to interesting people. Bill is more than just interesting, he is joyful. What I love about what he is doing with his Blue Sky podcast is trying to get all of us to focus on the good. That is exactly what we do here each week at Charity Matters. Life is challenging enough for all of us. When we focus on the positive we feel better, it lifts us up and gives us hope that things are going to get better.

Bill not only has his podcast, which I highly recommend. He also has his Blue Sky Bookshelf where he recommends uplifting books from his guests and others. So take a look here if you are looking for a summer read that inspires and uplifts.

We all can take a page from Bill’s message on optimism.  When we choose to focus on optimism, everything shifts. It’s not about ignoring the challenges or pretending life is perfect. Rather, it’s about seeing the light in the cracks, the possibility in the struggle, and the good that can still come from even the hardest moments. Optimism gives us the strength to keep going, to believe in something better, and to inspire that same hope in others. When we lead with optimism, we open the door to connection, to resilience, and to the kind of change that lifts everyone. It’s a mindset that doesn’t just help us survive but thrive.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2025 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Camp is the cure

According to the Associated Press, more than 25 million children under the age of 18 attend camp each year. Of those, 17 million experience the joy of day camps, while 8.3 million head off to overnight adventures. These spaces offer so much more than just activities…..they’re places where kids can make new friends, shed old labels, and explore a little self-reinvention. All of that, wrapped in a whole lot of fun. When we think of summer, we think of camp.

But in light of the recent tragic events in Texas, many of us are looking at camp through a new lens this year. For weeks, we’ve been hearing the brave stories of Camp Mystic counselors who sacrificed so much to protect their young campers. And it wasn’t just Camp Mystic, across the Guadalupe River, stories have emerged from countless camps where courageous counselors put their campers first. We’ve always seen camp counselors as big sisters and brothers, the spirited cheerleaders who bring magic to summer. But this summer, they became heroes.

What many people don’t realize is that most of these incredible counselors, many still in high school or college, are volunteers. They give up their summers not for pay, but to mentor the next generation, to pay forward the gifts they once received. That is the legacy of camp: a place where you arrive timid and unsure, and leave with lifelong memories and a heart full of confidence and new friendships.

For the past thirteen years, I’ve spent my summers at TACSC, a youth leadership organization. All year long, our college students mentor our high school students, who then teach our middle schoolers essential leadership skills. But it’s during our summer conference, our version of camp, where the true magic happens. Over the past 43 years, more than 42,000 young leaders have come through our programs. In my own 13 years, I’ve had the privilege of working with over 22,000 remarkable students.

Each summer, before our campers arrive, I gather our team of dedicated volunteers for a pep talk. Like a coach before a big game, I remind them what it means to lead, to serve, and to give of themselves fully for the benefit of another. We reflect on the people who once poured into us and how we now have the opportunity to do the same. Then, we head out to greet our nervous and excited sixth, seventh, and eighth graders, arriving with their sleeping bags, stuffed animals, and wide eyes.

Within the hour, fear fades and smiles begin to bloom. That’s the magic of camp. It’s the freedom to play, to laugh, and to connect. It’s a space where judgment is left at the door and where kids feel safe to be who they truly are. That’s why 25 million children come back every year. And it’s why so many of those campers grow up to become counselors themselves.

Giving back to a place that shaped you is one of life’s greatest gifts. When a child looks up to a teenager or college student with admiration, it fills that counselor with purpose. And when a counselor tells a seventh grader how funny, smart, or kind they are….something shifts in that child. At TACSC, we call it “the magic.” And I know we’re not alone. It’s happening at camps all across the country.

In a time when we hear so much about youth anxiety and mental health challenges, I truly believe camp is the cure. At camp, students step into responsibility….they wake up on time, get themselves to breakfast, and manage their day. And with every small act of independence, they gain confidence. Without mom or dad there to fix everything, they figure it out. And when they do, they shine.

Now, as I wrap up my 13th summer at our Leadership Conference, I’m more convinced than ever: camp is the cure. Maybe we all need a little more of that magic. A little more play. A little more reinvention. A little more joy. Maybe we could all take a page from our counselors by serving others, giving compliments, listening deeply, being silly, and caring for our tribe. The world would be a kinder, better place if we did.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2025 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Voices of 100 Women

Life is always full of twists and turns. You may remember back in November of 2023 when I interviewed the incredible Cindy Witteman, the founder of Driving Single Parents. After our conversation, she invited me to be a guest on her streaming TV show, The Little Give. During that episode, Cindy mentioned she had written a few books. I casually shared that writing a book was something I had always dreamed of doing. That simple statement unlocked a series of events that would unfold faster than I ever could have imagined.

Just a week later, Cindy reached out to let me know she had nominated me to be part of a docu-series called Voices of 100 Women. I was so touched. She said she’d be sending over a contract. When I opened it, I quickly realized that in addition to being interviewed, I would also be required to write a book. Yes, it was something I’d always wanted to do—but to say I was caught off guard would be an understatement. That was December 15, 2023.

By the first week of January 2024, I was meeting with the amazing team at She Rises Studios Publishing, and before I knew it, I was writing Change for Good. The docuseries became a blurry backdrop as I poured myself into the pages of my book. I met with the publishers in person a few times, and we filmed a few short segments, but my mind and heart were focused on my writing and the looming deadline. Like I said—twists and turns.

So imagine my surprise when, nearly a year to the day after turning in my manuscript, I received an email announcing that the Voices of 100 Women series is premiering this week! Time has flown, and this journey has been nothing short of extraordinary.

Along the way, I’ve met so many inspiring women, listened to their stories, and shared my own. I’ve been reminded again and again of the importance of saying yes, of being open to change, and of leaning into the unknown. Vulnerability is never easy. Letting the world in, letting people see you—that’s scary. But what I’ve learned is that it’s in those moments of risk and openness that true strength and resilience are born.

This experience has been a beautiful reminder that growth often begins when you step outside your comfort zone. I’m beyond grateful to Cindy, to She Rises Studios, and most of all, to you—for being here, for encouraging me, and for walking this journey with me.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2025 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

How to support the people of Kerr County,Texas

While most of us were enjoying our 4th of July holiday the unthinkable was happening to a community in the hill country of Texas. As many of you have now read and heard the tragic stories of families and children being washed away by an extreme storm that hit early in the morning while many were sleeping. The flood waters rose over 25 feet in under an hours time.  As I write this there are 79 dead and at least a dozen young girls still missing from Camp Mystic.

My youngest son lives in Texas and one of his dear friends is a camp counselor at Camp Mystic. She is a lovely girl and she has worked at Camp Mystic every summer. Her family has lived in Kerr County for years. This July 4th she was with my son and his friends in Austin. Fortunately,  she wasn’t there when the flood hit but many of her friends were.  I reached out to her for ways we can support her community.  She shared these go funds me from dear family friends. In addition, there are a  few suggestions of ways to help.  I wanted to share these links here in blue:

Kerr County Flood Relief Fund 

This local community foundation has been established to help rebuild and help those who have lost everything.

Kerrville Pets Alive-

They are working to keep pets and reunite them with their families

Texas on a mission

Texans on Mission has responded to every natural disaster in Texas since 1967 and many beyond it, including the Southeast Asia tsunami, Hurricane Katrina and the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. Through a diverse array of ministries, Texans on Mission has provided the calm after the storm for millions.

Texsar (Texas Search and Rescue)

This organization is working around the clock to help find people swept away from these floods

World Central Kitchen

Chef Andres is always there to feed communities, first responders and everyone in a disaster. I remember seeing him in Pasadena hours after the fires. His organization is always there to help and heal.

This has all hit close to home for so many of us. We can not begin to fathom sending our child off to camp only to have the unexpected happen. So many families are hoping and praying tonight. When the fires hit our community in January the world reached out to help. So many of you helped support friends GoFund Me and really wanted to give to someone directly impacted.  I asked our sweet friend to feel free to share a few of her friends Go Fund Me’s and I wanted to share those links below as well in blue.

Go Fund Me Accounts:
This account was set up to help Camps Mystic’s recovery
This Go Fund Me is set up for meal deliveries for families affected in the area and run by a family friend
The Broussard Family lost everything in the flood and have a new baby any support is a gift.

When tragedy strikes it is innate to want to help. That is who we were all born to be and what it means to be human. This past January we experienced an outpouring of love from the world when the fires hit our community. It was humbling, inspiring and overwhelming all at once. My hope is that the people of Kerr County feel this love and that it helps to get them through the days, weeks and months ahead.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2025 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

July Fireworks and celebrations

When we think of July we think of summertime, ice cream, fireworks and a time to unwind. The days are hotter and longer and the pace slows down enough for us to catch our breath before we are already packing the kiddos back to school. We need July. It is a time to take a pause, to read that pile of books that has been stacking up and maybe it’s even time for that summer vacation? July is a time of rest and renewal. We give all year and this month is a time for us to recharge, to slow down and to take care of ourselves so that we can continue to take care of others. 

 

Fourteen years ago this month I started Charity Matters. An unlikely birthday for a website and podcast about service. When we allow ourselves to rest and just be amazing things are born. Charity Matters was created to connect great people to incredible nonprofits and the inspirational modern day heroes who have started these organizations. Almost every week for fourteen years we have been sharing their stories with you.

Everyone of these founders was on a life path heading in a certain direction when something completely unexpected happened to them and they changed course radically to help others instead of themselves. Week after week, story after story we learn about people turning pain and loss into causes that serve, heal and help. It never gets old because each story is better than the next!

These nonprofit founders didn’t set out to become heroes, they set out to make a difference. What’s remarkable is not just their resilience, but their ability to transform adversity into action. Whether it’s the loss of a child, a personal health crisis, or a heartbreaking encounter with injustice, their response is always the same: to help someone else avoid the pain they’ve experienced. That instinct to serve is what makes these individuals so extraordinary and their stories are what fuel Charity Matters.

Over the years, what began as a blog has grown into a podcast, a platform, and a purpose. Charity Matters has become a place where stories of service are not just told, they’re celebrated. It’s a space that reminds us that goodness is not only alive and well, but that it exists in the hearts of everyday people who choose compassion over comfort. These stories uplift, encourage, and challenge us to ask, “What can I do?”

And that’s the real magic of Charity Matters. It’s not just about the nonprofits or the people behind them…it’s about all of us. It’s about seeing ourselves in these stories and realizing that we, too, have the ability to create change. Whether that means starting an organization, volunteering at a local shelter, or simply being a little kinder each day, Charity Matters reminds us that giving is not out of reach. It’s right here, waiting for us to take the next step.

So this July, as you soak in the sunshine, flip through books, and maybe even enjoy that long-overdue vacation, take a moment to reflect. Think about what fills your cup and lights your fire. Because when we are rested and renewed, we are better equipped to give. Service doesn’t always have to be grand or public, it can be quiet, personal, and powerful.

Thank you for being a part of this community for the past fourteen years. Thank you for reading, listening, sharing, and most of all, for caring. Your support fuels this mission to highlight goodness and celebrate those who live it out loud. As we pause this summer, let us all remember that rest is not the opposite of service, it’s what makes service sustainable.

Here’s to rest, renewal, and being reminded that charity always matters, one small act of kindness at a time.

 

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2025 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Episode 90: Enchanted Makeovers

Seventeen years ago, Terry Grahl received a phone call that would change not only her life but the lives of countless women and children across the country. What began as a simple request to paint one wall in a shelter became a profound calling—one that transformed Terry from interior decorator to nonprofit founder, from a woman with a paintbrush to a warrior with a mission. Her nonprofit, Enchanted Makeovers, was born from that moment…an act of faith and heart that would grow into a national movement dedicated to restoring dignity, hope, and beauty to women and children escaping domestic violence and human trafficking.

In this deeply moving 90th episode of Charity Matters, Terry shares the raw and powerful story behind Enchanted Makeovers. With humility, grit, and grace, she opens up about her childhood, the influence of her mother, and the quiet, persistent voice that led her to walk beside women on their path to healing. This is not just a conversation about nonprofit work it’s about listening to your heart, honoring your calling, and discovering how one simple act of love can ripple out to change the world.

 

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Enchanted Makeover does?

Terry Grahl : Enchanted Makeovers is a national nonprofit serving women and children who are escaping human trafficking and domestic violence. We just celebrated our 17th anniversary this past December. From the beginning, our mission has been to bring everything that is sacred, healing, and beautiful into their lives.

We believe deeply in the healing power of handmade items. There’s something truly personal and loving in something made by hand. Our programs reflect that belief. We create sacred spaces by transforming bedrooms in shelters, and we also provide sewing rooms and host hands-on programs like “Capes for Kids,” our “Doll Adoption” project, and the “Pillowcase Program.” Each initiative is designed to bring dignity, hope, and healing into the lives of women and children who have experienced deep trauma.

Charity Matters: In looking back at your childhood is there anything that helped lead you to whre you are today?

Terry Grahl: My mother is my hero, my role model and warrior. She taught us the importance of creativity and the power of imagination. We experienced homelessness as a family, and the community played a role in helping us during that time. I remember one Christmas, my mom gathered us all up and said, “Put on your boots, we’re going to an event for kids.” It was held at a VFW hall, and we had to stand in this perfect line while volunteers watched from the walls. A man came over and said, “Come here, girl. Pick out a toy.” That moment stuck with me, even though I didn’t realize it at the time.

Years later, I saw how that memory shaped the heart of Enchanted Makeovers. Today, we don’t believe in perfect lines or creating separation. Everyone stands side by side. Everyone is equal. We ask, “What is your name?” and it transforms how we serve and how we see one another.

When we lost our home, I didn’t fully understand what was happening, I just thought we were moving again. My mom drove us from city to city in a giant old station wagon until we came across a run-down house with weeds up to her waist and tires in the yard. She walked over to a nearby church and asked, “Who owns this house?” They told her the deacons used to live there. And she said, “I need a home for my children. If I put down a small deposit, could I eventually own it?” And they said yes.

That house became our home. I remember her describing how she’d restore it, telling us all the things she would do. The house had been abandoned, but to her, it was full of potential. She even wrote a poem called “The Promise” about the house. I remember my mom laying her face against the front door and promising to bring the house back to life, just as it would help bring her back to life too. That home became her healing project and in truth, she was restoring herself in the process.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start Enchanted Makeovers?

Terry Grahl: When my children were all in school full-time, I started a decorating business. I told my mom, “This isn’t about decorating, it’s about giving women hope.” My first client’s home was heavy with sadness, though I didn’t yet know her story. I began working in her kitchen and said, “This floor isn’t just a new surface…it’s a new path for your life.” She later told me her father had abused her. When I finished the home, I said, “Let’s name your house.” She said, “High Hopes.” We hung a sign outside with that name.

A year later, a man visited the house and saw the sign. He asked about it, and my client told him how I had helped heal her through design. He said, “I also fundraise for a shelter for women and children, do you think she’d be willing to paint a wall there?”

On December 6, I called him back. He said the shelter was in an old post office where women stayed for a year with their children and nothing had ever been done to the space. I agreed to visit after Christmas.

In January 2007, I walked through the shelter. The last stop was the women’s dorm. I had to use both hands to push open a heavy metal door. Inside were 30 women and children, all sharing one room with no dividers, no privacy. I asked, “Where are the dressers?” The director said they used cardboard boxes. The bunk beds had come from a prison. Everything was worn and institutional. Duct tape held baby cribs together. The bedspreads were faded, identical, and from another era. The energy in the room was so heavy with sadness that I could hardly breathe.

I took some “before” photos, though I wasn’t sure what I could do. Driving home, I was angry. I said, “God, why did You bring this to me? I have four children and a new business. I don’t have time for this.” I tried to ignore the photos all week. But by the end of the week, the last image of a stained mattress with no pillowcase just broke me. The pillow had polka dots, and I’ve loved polka dots since I was a little girl. When I saw it, I heard the words, “Trust me.” I raised my hand and said, “I’ll do it.”

I didn’t know how I’d get the money, the volunteers, or the supplies. But it was a leap of faith. I returned a week later with a design board and stood before about 50 women in the chapel. Then I started to cry..you know the ugly cry. I was so overwhelmed.

Then, one woman looked at me with her purple eyeshadow, blue nail polish, and butterfly necklace, and she said, “It’s going to be okay.” I looked around and saw not women but girls. They were crying with me, saying, “It’s going to be okay.” That was the moment I knew: I wasn’t there to save anyone. I was there to walk beside them.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Terry Grahl:  In the beginning, it was tough. I remember going into a store trying to get paint and thinking, “If I just share these women’s stories, they’ll help.” But it wasn’t that simple. There were a lot of no’s. I cried in the car after those rejections.

One week, I sent out a massive email campaign, sharing from the heart why the women needed new mattresses. I needed 30 of them. Out of the blue, a man called. He was on vacation and had seen my email. He said, “My father raised me to help when you can, so I’m donating all 30 mattresses, along with mattress pads and pillows.”

That was our first big donation. After that, I knew nothing could stop us. The women knew it too. What we didn’t know then was how long this journey would be…or how much it would grow.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Terry Grahl:  The promise I made to those women, right there in that shelter, is what fuels me. I said I would do everything in my power to transform their space, and I had to fulfill that promise.

But looking back now, I see that it was more than that. I was on my own healing journey. The little girl inside of me needed this transformation just as much as the women did. She needed to feel heard, to have a voice, and to believe in something beautiful again.

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Terry Grahl:  For me, success is measured by the stories the women share. One woman I’ll never forget is Donna. She lived in the shelter during the time of the transformation. Later, I ran into her and asked how she was doing. She told me she had moved into transitional housing.

I asked, “What was the moment that felt most meaningful to you?” And she said, “Making grilled cheese and tomato soup for my children. Just that.” That simple act of care and comfort meant everything to her.

These women have taught me what it means to be a warrior.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Terry Grahl:  I’ve learned that I am a warrior. In 2008, I attended a Country Living event focused on handmade products. We missed our flight, I had a migraine, and I thought, “Great, now I have to talk to a stranger on this plane.”

A man sat next to me and asked what I did. I told him about Enchanted Makeovers. He said, “I minister to men in prison,” and we started sharing our callings. I told him I had been praying for God to break me into a million pieces and rebuild me.

He gently put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Sister, He’s already done that. It’s time to be a warrior.” I got off that flight in tears, but I knew that I was equipped. I could do this.

I’ve also learned the power of prayer and that I am forever a student on this journey. Every lesson, every relationship, every door opened and there’s a reason behind it. Now, even large corporations are reaching out to partner with us. And I’ve learned to hold my head high and use my voice to speak up for women and children everywhere.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Terry Grahl:  At the very beginning, I prayed through tears, arms lifted, saying, “God, give me a voice, please just give me a voice so I can be a voice for others.”

As a child, I was painfully shy. I was bullied constantly from first grade through high school. I was always told to stay quiet….and I did. But God kept His promise. I still can’t believe that a shy girl would grow up to speak on national platforms, even on Kelly Clarkson’s show.

But I know why I’m here. God gave me this voice so I can use it for women, for children, for those who don’t yet believe they’re worthy of being heard.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2025 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Another lap around the sun

Today is my birthday…my 59th, to be exact. How that happened and when… well, I’m not entirely sure. If my math is correct, I’m quickly sliding toward 60, although I’m pretty convinced I’m still 28.

I love birthdays, no matter the number. Yes, I’m one of those people, I can stretch a birthday into a month-long celebration. And why not? Any excuse to gather with people I love and celebrate life is good enough for me. It’s not just my birthday I love celebrating and genuinely enjoy celebrating everyone’s special day.

For the past thirteen years, my birthday has landed right in the middle of the busiest week of the year at work, so the celebrations have definitely shifted a bit. This year is no different. We’re hustling to distribute the last of our scholarship funds and getting all our future leaders registered for summer programs. It will be a busy birthday, perhaps not as festive as in years past, but one still full of purpose, which is a gift in itself.

This year, for my birthday, I’m asking for a gift from you. I’d love to know: what is your favorite cause and why? What organization or mission speaks to your heart?

I always love hearing from you, but your answers truly inspire me. They open my eyes to new causes and remind me of the incredible impact we can make when we care about something deeply. So please, take a moment and share what moves you.

To be honest, the greatest gift is simply knowing that we’re all here to serve one another. Thank you for being here, for caring, and for being part of this amazing community. You are the greatest gift of all.

 

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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Episode 89: Once Upon a School

As schools are getting ready to close for the summer, today we are talking about what it takes to start a school. This is an inspiring story of heart, hustle, and hope with a guest who turned compassion into action in the most powerful way. What started as a simple realization….a moment of wondering how a mother experiencing homelessness could possibly make it through the day….sparked a movement that’s changing lives and rewriting futures. Kate Kennedy founded a school for children without housing, creating a safe, supportive space where students can rise beyond their circumstances and write their own success stories.

Kate had with no formal title or nonprofit background, took on the impossible by raising millions, building a school from the ground up, and empowering families who are often invisible in our system. Her journey is a testament to the power of listening, trusting yourself, and doing what you know is right, even when the world doubts you. Get ready to be moved, motivated, and reminded that one person truly can make a difference.

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what The Ansley School does?

Kate Kennedy:  The Ansley School is a tuition-free private school in Atlanta for children experiencing homelessness. Too often, these kids fall through the cracks of the system, becoming part of staggering statistics. Without a solid education, the path to a successful life is nearly impossible. Our goal is to give these children the opportunity to write their own story of success, one that rises beyond their circumstances.

Charity Matters: When you were growing up did you have a philanthropic family or role models?

Kate Kennedy:  There’s an exercise I’ve done a few times where you map out your life timeline and mark the moments that stand out. Every time, a clear thread of service and community building runs through it. No matter what I’m doing, that piece is always there, and it definitely comes from my parents. When my mother passed a few years ago, people who didn’t know her or me read her obituary and said, “Oh, that’s you. Now I get it.” She was always active in the community, and I guess that spirit of service is just part of my DNA.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start The Ansley School?

Kate Kennedy:  I remember it vividly. I had spent 20 years at home raising my four kids. Before that, I was a television writer and later worked in a church with teenagers, where I became deeply involved in community service around Atlanta, especially with organizations serving the unhoused. Even while raising my children, I continued volunteering and serving on boards.

One of my sons is neurodivergent and has significant learning challenges. Despite having access to resources, networks, and specialized (and costly) programs, I still had to fight for him every single day to make sure he didn’t fall through the cracks. It was exhausting.

One day, driving through downtown Atlanta, I saw a woman sitting on the curb with her head in her hands, surrounded by four young children…one without shoes, another without a shirt. I passed that road all the time, but something about her stopped me. I thought, How does she do it? I was overwhelmed with support, and still barely managing. Then I thought about my son….what if one of her kids had the same challenges? If I could barely keep mine afloat, how could she possibly manage? That moment gripped me. I couldn’t look away. I couldn’t not act.

The school is called the Boyce L. Ansley School, named after Boyce Ansley who was a true force of nature. She was a mentor to me, a remarkable fundraiser, civic leader, and champion for bringing young professionals into philanthropy. One day, I shared my idea with her and said, “Someone needs to build a school for these kids.” She replied, “Yes, you do.” I laughed and said, “No, not me but somebody.” And she said, “If you open the school, I’ll raise every dollar you need.” Because it had to be free there could be no tuition. When Boyce passed away unexpectedly we knew we had to name then school after her because she was such a huge catalyst.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Kate Kennedy: I started talking to parents and quickly realized the challenges. Without an address, they don’t even know what school to go to. And without housing, they often lack access to basic documents like birth certificates and immunization records and everything needed to enroll. Even for those who do get in, their children often face poor sleep, inadequate nutrition, and lack of proper clothing. The barriers were and are everywhere.

It’s incredibly difficult and so many nonprofits fail. I had identified a real need in our community through public school educators, families, and homeless-serving agencies. My final step was to approach the funding community and none of them wanted to touch it. I didn’t have a title or nonprofit experience. I remember one woman asking, “What’s your title?” Flustered, I said, “I’m just a concerned citizen.” She practically patted me on the head and said, “Oh, you’re in way over your head.”

There’s a difference in a do gooder and a change maker. I  think it’s really important a do gooder does good until, until it gets tough, and then they’re like, oh, that’s I’m out. And the change maker, the founder, it keeps on going even when it just looks impossible.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Kate Kennedy: Once the school opened, the families and the children kept me going, because they’re just precious. And you just look at them and you just think, I can’t not do this for you. I just can’t. You know you deserve this. You are just the sweetest thing, and you deserve this. You have worth, you have dignity, and you know, and so it was the relationships that really changed.

Charity Matters: When do you know you have made a difference?

Kate Kennedy: There were many moments, but one story that really sticks with me happened at the end of our first quarter. We had given our students uniforms: white polo shirts with the school logo and navy skorts or pants. They looked sweet and polished, and we thought white shirts made sense because they could be bleached clean.

At our first parent meeting, we asked for feedback about what was working, what wasn’t. At first, no one said anything. Then one mom raised her hand and said, “The white shirts are hard.” It hadn’t occurred to us that families living in shelters or on the street often don’t have regular access to laundry. The shirts were hard to keep clean.

I asked what would work better, and they said navy blue. So I ordered navy monogrammed shirts and handed them out a few weeks later. The reaction from the mothers was overwhelming. One said, “No one ever listens to us. We have no voice.” And it’s true, especially when children are involved, families experiencing homelessness often stay invisible out of fear of losing their kids. That small change by simply listening, shifted the entire mood of the school.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Kate Kennedy: It was really hard, but I eventually realized that my dream wasn’t to run the day-to-day operations of a school, it was to start a movement. I want to see schools like the Ansley School across the country, because it’s possible.

Through a providential twist of fate, I was connected with a woman in Pittsburgh who wanted to start a similar school. It’s a long, wild story, but we connected, and I’ve been working with her and her team to help make it happen. As I shared the journey and supported them, I realized this story needed to be told. I started writing and writing and before long, I realized: this could actually be a book people might want to read.

Once Upon a School is my book. The first half of the book is about building the school and about my real dream of supporting children without housing. The children that are going to fall through the cracks in our system. The second half of the book is about how it’s really complicated to be a founder.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Kate Kennedy:  The biggest lesson that kept coming up was that I needed to trust myself. I didn’t have all the answers, but I knew what I knew and I was aware of what I didn’t. I asked questions, listened, and the school was thriving. We had a $2 million budget, and I raised it almost entirely on my own each year.

Still, people would say, “You haven’t been in the business world,” or “You stayed home with your kids, you don’t know”—all the bless your heart stuff (I’m Southern). which, by the way, is not a compliment in the south. What I was doing was working. I mean, the evidence was all around me. So I look back now and I think I should have trusted myself more.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Kate Kennedy: I do, I’ve changed a lot. I have much better boundaries now and trust myself a lot more. I think those are the biggest shifts. I’m also much more aware of the challenges children without housing face when it comes to education. I always knew it was an issue, but now I feel like I can truly be a voice for them because I’ve walked alongside so many families living through it. It’s one thing to understand the problem from a distance but it’s completely different when you’ve lived it up close.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2025 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Halfway through 2025

June is just around the corner, which means we’re somehow halfway through the year. I’m not quite sure how that happened, but it definitely snuck up on me. Like many of us, I kicked off the year with a laundry list of goals. I love making lists, so trust me when I say that I set out to accomplish a lot. My philosophy is simple: if I don’t at least put it out there, it will never happen. And even if I only achieve half, I’m still moving the ball of life forward in some positive direction… or at least that’s what I tell myself.

Now, I’ll admit there are more than a few goals that haven’t seen the light of day. My commitment to return to yoga once a week? Not even close. I haven’t so much as stretched. Total fail. Sunday meal prep? Another great idea that has yet to materialize. And then there’s the long list of home improvement projects… still untouched. Let’s just say there’s definitely room for growth and improvement. But hey, that’s what Q3 and Q4 are for, right?

Looking back, though, there have been some solid wins. The book has been doing extremely well and it is such a joy to see that dream growing. My husband and I set a goal for quarterly adventures, and we’ve actually stuck to it! We’re on track to keep exploring and adventuring through the rest of the year, and that feels really good. I’ve made progress on the goal to scroll less and read more. I’m absolutely reading more…though if I’m honest, I’m not sure the scrolling has slowed down. So we’ll call that a partial win. What I am proud of is my commitment to being more present, being a better friend, and being a verb instead of a noun. This has been a year of action, and those are definitely strides worth celebrating at this mid-year checkpoint.

Of all the goals, the one I’m most proud of is the one my sister and I made together: spending more intentional time with our dad. We promised monthly “dates with Dad,” and it’s been one of the most meaningful accomplishments of the year. Sure, spending time with our dad is always good, but actually planning fun outings and experiences has created beautiful memories—and quality time that we all cherish. It was meant to be a gift for him, but in truth, we’re the ones who’ve received the greatest gift. We’ve road-tripped to Arizona to see family, explored museums, gone boating with his siblings, and we have more adventures ahead. Time with those you love really is the ultimate gift.

As I look ahead to the rest of the year, I know there’s still a lot I want to accomplish. Starting June 1st, I’m diving into a new workout and nutrition plan so that should help check off a few of the lingering health goals. Who knows, maybe I’ll even get around to meal prepping. A girl can dream, right? We’re all works in progress, and that means celebrating what we have done while still setting our sights on what we can do. Six months is still plenty of time to make meaningful progress. As far as I’m concerned, it’s never too late to start. As the Carroll shelby quote says in the photo above,”Persistence is the most important thing in life.”

So here’s to June….a fresh start, a second half, and a second chance to get it right… or at least move that ball one step farther down the field…persistently.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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Episode 88: A Brighter Day

I am so excited to introduce you today to an amazing man, Elliot Kallen. He is a passionate entrepreneur, nonprofit founder, and father who has transformed personal tragedy into a mission of hope. As the CEO of multiple companies and the founder of A Brighter Day, Elliot brings both business acumen and deep empathy to his work. After losing his 19-year-old son, Jake, to suicide, Elliot committed himself to supporting teens struggling with depression and anxietywith his nonprofit,  A Brighter Day.

Today his organization touches thousands of families each month. Grounded in the life lessons passed down from his Holocaust-survivor mother, Elliot lives with a deep sense of purpose—driven not by profit, but by impact. His story is one of resilience, love, and an unwavering belief in the power of helping others.

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what A Brighter Day does?

Elliot Kallen: What we do is we create resources for teens and their families on stress and depression with the goal of stopping teen suicide.

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about Growing up and your family?

Elliot Kallen: I’m the CEO of three companies right now. I grew up in a very middle-class home in New Jersey. My parents were community-minded and active members of our local synagogue. We gave money, even though my dad never made more than forty thousand dollars a year, and my mom was your typical 1960s–70s stay-at-home mom. Still, we gave back.

My mom often spoke about her father, who was a librarian in Vienna and probably made five dollars a week during the Great Depression. Every week, he would empty the change from his pockets, and that’s what he would donate. We were always taught to give back. Most of the time, that meant giving to family or helping cousins around the world.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start A Brighter Day?

Elliot Kallen:  It’s a heartbreaking story, and sadly, it doesn’t have a happy ending. Eleven years ago, my 19-year-old son, Jake—a sophomore at the University of Montana—took his life in the early hours of a Friday morning. No drugs, no alcohol. He walked onto the highway and stepped in front of a truck.

We were frantically searching for him all day because his phone was off—something no teenager ever does. At 6:30 that evening, FedEx delivered a six-page suicide note. That’s how we found out he was gone. His note was filled with the typical ramblings of a teen in crisis, but one paragraph stood out. He wrote, “Mom and Dad, I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. I never would have told you how I felt. I never would have asked for your help. And I never would have taken your help.”

It was as if he was trying to let us off the hook—but how could we ever be?

His mother and I flew to Spokane the next morning, then drove to Missoula to claim his body, which had been left unclaimed at a funeral home. On the flight home, his body in the cargo hold beneath us, I kept rereading that paragraph. I turned to his mother and said, “We have to do something to prevent this devastation from happening to other families.” She replied, “I can’t do it. You’re on your own.” And so, I began the journey to create a nonprofit.

At first, the idea was to use music—bring in adult cover bands and host events for teens with mental health resources. But when we met with local musicians, they gave me critical advice: “This has to be for teens—by teens. No adult bands, no adults in the room. Teens won’t open up if they feel watched. And the resources have to be teen-friendly. Most mental health tools are built for adults, and they miss the mark.”

We decided to focus on depression, anxiety, and suicide prevention—issues teens face every day. A recent survey showed that nearly 50% of teens have felt anxious or depressed in the past year, and many have had suicidal thoughts.

I often describe it like this: imagine a six-sided box—four walls, a top, and a bottom. For teens, it’s rarely all blue sky. Life can feel like constant turmoil. And when all six sides of the box feel black—when it’s all pain and no light—some teens begin to believe, “Yesterday was awful. Tomorrow will be worse. No one will miss me anyway.”

That moment—that hopelessness—is where suicide lives. That’s what we’re trying to stop.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Elliot Kallen: I don’t want to downplay how cathartic it’s been to start a nonprofit and to share Jake’s story—especially in that first year. Every time I told it, I could barely hold back tears. What surprised me was how many people shared their own stories in return—about their uncle, aunt, parent, sibling. We cried together. I kept tissues nearby and handed them out often. If you cried in my office, chances are I was crying too.

Sometimes, I still go to the cemetery. Nothing changes—the view, the conversation—but it grounds me. I stand on Jake’s grave to read the plaque, and I talk to him. I talk to God. I don’t want to imagine Jake’s face in the clouds like a movie ending. But I do hope he’s listening.

I’ve built and sold businesses, so I understand the lifecycle—products, services, cash flow, lawsuits, people problems. A nonprofit is different. You still have people issues—because people are people—but the bigger challenge is constantly telling the story in a way that touches hearts. That’s not hard for me. The hard part is finding the right audience to tell it to. Filling rooms, building an online following, gaining traction—that’s the uphill battle.

And here’s the truth: every nonprofit is regional—until it either goes national or goes out of business. I’ve served on national boards like the Boys and Girls Clubs and the American Cancer Society. They were national before I joined. My nonprofit, A Brighter Day, has resources used in all 50 states, but when it comes to fundraising, we’re still very local. Regional nonprofits live hand-to-mouth. That means I need to lead, write checks, and carry the mission forward every day.

But I don’t want to die and take the nonprofit with me. I’m working hard to build sustainability so I can eventually step back from being the de facto leader and just serve as a board member. We talk constantly about that next step—about building longevity and putting a structure in place so A Brighter Day has legs without me.

I believe there should always be a Kallen on the board—because it began with us—but they don’t have to lead. They just need to show up once a year, wherever they live, to remind others why we exist. This began with Jake, but it doesn’t have to end with me. That’s the goal.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Elliot Kallen: I’ve been very blessed in my life. Even after losing my son to suicide, I still consider myself incredibly fortunate. I grew up in a small, middle-class home, but I was always deeply loved. My father was part of the Greatest Generation and my mother survived Auschwitz. They had both seen unthinkable tragedy and loss.

Their voices still guide me—what I call the “schizophrenic voices” on my shoulders, not devil and angel, but Mom and Dad. My father’s message was always, “You can never make up for hard work,” and he instilled that in his three children—we all became workaholics. My mother’s voice says, “You can do better today than you did yesterday, and better tomorrow than today.”

That mindset stays with me. I still come to work each day with energy and excitement, whether it’s in my for-profit ventures or in the nonprofit space. In business, I’m always asking how we can grow, improve, and learn from our missteps—because mistakes are just painful learning moments. In the nonprofit world, the question is: how do we serve more people, more effectively, without burning through resources?

Every organization, for-profit or nonprofit, has a financial burn rate. If you ignore that, one day you wake up and can’t make payroll. That’s the reality. Whether or not you call it capitalism, we’re all accountable to the numbers—even in service work.

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Elliot Kallen:  Right now, through A Brighter Day and all our online resources at abrighterday.info, we’re reaching thousands. One of our biggest tools is a teen-focused texting crisis line that gets 50 to 150 new teens every month. They receive a response within five minutes—because teens love to text—and almost every single one asks the same heartbreaking question: “Am I the only one feeling this way?” They’re incredibly isolated.

We also know that if your teen came to you and said, “Mom, I’m cutting” or “I’m thinking about hurting myself,” you’d do everything you could to get them help. But in most places it can take 6 to 10 weeks to get a live appointment with a licensed therapist. We can connect teens with a licensed therapist via Zoom in all 50 states within seven days. And while virtual counseling isn’t quite the same as being in the room, it’s still meaningful support—and we cover the cost for 90 days.

Right now, we’re reaching between 3,000 and 6,000 families every single month.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Elliot Kallen: If there’s one word that defines our goal, it’s impact. We want to make a meaningful difference in people’s lives, and that only happens if our message truly reaches them.

People ask me, “Where do you see yourself in 20 years?” My honest answer: I hope I’m still alive—but not still running the charity. That would mean I failed to build something sustainable. What I really hope is that, at my funeral, someone stands up and says, “He made a major impact on everyone he touched.” That’s the legacy I’m striving for.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Elliot Kallen: The biggest lesson? Life is incredibly short. My mother used to say, “Life goes by in the blink of an eye,” and I never understood it until I got older—but she was right.

You can’t take life for granted. You have to show up every day with the right attitude, because attitude really iseverything. If you keep putting in the effort with heart and intention, good things follow.

What truly matters is the people around you, the lives you touch, the impact you make. It’s not just about who’s impacted you—it’s about how many lives you can reach and make better. If you focus on that, you’re doing something truly great.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2025 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Episode 87: Raregivers Global

You’ve heard me say it time and time again—the universe constantly places incredible people in my path. Sometimes I think my brain has a special filter that helps me find the very best humans on this planet. A few months ago, I was speaking to a National Charity League group and selling books when this bright light of a woman approached to buy a few. We started talking, and of course—she’s a nonprofit founder! But she is so much more than that. Her story is as amazing as she is.

I am truly excited for you to meet Cristol Barrett O’Loughlin and hear her incredible journey of service with her nonprofit, RareGivers Global—a worldwide network that provides emotional support to caregivers of those with rare, chronic, and complex diseases. Did you know that 350 million people worldwide live with a rare disease? That’s 1 in 15 families globally who are navigating these caregiving challenges. Cristol’s story is ultimately a love story—for her brothers, whom she lost to a rare disease—and how she now uses her life to help countless others.

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Raregiver Global does?

Cristol Barrett O’Loughlin: Raregivers cares for the caregivers. We are all about providing emotional relief services to caregivers that are living in what we call a radical caregiving environment. We work specifically with patients, parents and  healthcare professionals in rare, chronic and complex diseases. There’s about 10,000 uncured rare diseases that have been genetically identified, and it’s not a small community. It’s the wrong word… rare. The rare disease community is actually one in 10 families in the United States, and one in 15 worldwide.

This is really radical caregiving. This is 24/7 medical management at home. This is doing skilled nursing interventions like administering epileptic medications every hour on the hour, 24/7 for decades.

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about Growing Up…Did you have any indicators that maybe you would go into this type of work?

Cristol Barrett O’Loughlin:  My parents met when they were 15—he was the football captain, she was the cheerleader. They married at 19 and told their pediatrician they wanted a big family. Within eight years, they had five children. What my mother didn’t know was that she was a carrier for Hunter Syndrome, a rare genetic disorder affecting boys.

My oldest brother didn’t have it, but my younger brothers David, Jared, and Randy did. My mom noticed early delays in their development. Eventually, they received the diagnosis: Hunter Syndrome. There’s no cure. Our family went through every phase of grief, holding on to hope.

I was 10 when Randy passed at 12. My other brothers passed at 18 and 19. I was 10, 14, and 15 when they died. Not long after, my parents divorced. Later, I learned that divorce rates are six times higher in rare disease families. Depression, anxiety, and addiction rates are also staggeringly high among caregivers.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start Raregivers Global?

Cristol Barrett O’Loughlin:  You even mentioned in your book, Change for Good, the impact of mortality events.  I think there is a moment in your life where you realize you’re mortal.  You think, I may not be on the planet as long as I thought I was going to be. This is not a dress rehearsal and we only have one life to make our mark.  I always wanted to be in an environment where I can give back and to have some sort of meaningful element to the work I’m doing.  That moment for me was far after my brothers had passed.

As I started thinking about starting a family.  I was genetically tested and actually found out that I was a carrier. And based on that, my dad and I go to the national MPs (Hunter’s Syndrome) family conference. We walk in the door and we look around and there are all these young men that look like my brothers. It just gave me chills.

I came home and said to my girlfriends, “There’s a part of my history that I’ve never really shared with you.  And I want to do something.” We started a fundraising organization called Angel Aid.  Angel is a moniker, A, N, G, E, L which stands for A Nonprofit Group Enriching Lives.

It took awhile but we raised $50,000 and in 2002 we received a matching research grant  which went on to become an FDA approved treatment. The research doctor had this very elegant idea that if the kids are missing the enzyme, they need to create a synthetic version of that enzyme, and we’ll flush it through their body like dialysis, Enzyme Therapy. We went through FDA approval that funded research. Then  we went through clinical trial, and now young men that would have passed away in their teens are going off to college.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Cristol Barrett O’Loughlin:  The challenge is that missions morph. Angel Aid was the precursor to Rare Givers.  And here’s the challenge. There’s no cures for any of these diseases.  Community is not a cure, it’s a treatment.  I mentioned 10,000 rare diseases, one in 10, one in 15. Worldwide, that’s  350 million families and there’s only treatments for 5% of that community. So the challenge is the other 95% have no options, none.  They’re going through the same cycles that my family went through holding hope and grief in the same heart every single day.

In 2016, I went in and I got a routine mammogram. I came out with a breast cancer diagnosis.  I was like, Oh no, well, there’s another shift in mortality.  Now I have a 10 year old. I’m married. What hit my heart was, what am I waiting for?  I thought my community was the MP/Hunter’s Syndrome community. Then I realized, my community is this much broader community. I was waking up every single night, thinking these families with rare diseases must all be in emotional crisis. There’s no cures. That community needs emotional support like I received with breast cancer support.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Cristol Barrett O’Loughlin: My mother inspires me because, as I mentioned, my parents divorced, and my mother went on a very deep, dark journey with alcohol,  gambling, with any really kind of escape mechanism to deal with the pain and grief.

We can’t imagine the choices that my family’s had to make. Somewhere along the way, her faith pulled her through, and she got sober. She came back to me. My mom showed up for my daughter and my family in a way that was really profound. She actually reconnected with my father and did a lot of really healing conversations. So what fuels me is very personal, but it’s also, an example of what can happen in rare disease families. This is the joy to the grief.

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Cristol Barrett O’Loughlin: We’ve identified 287 pieces of published research on the emotional toll of rare disease caregiving. From this, we developed an emotional journey map outlining six stages families go through—from noticing changes in a loved one to diagnosis, caregiving, and end-of-life care.

We started with seven women in a living room in 2019. Today, we’ve reached 77,000 families. Our guidebook—thanks to Microsoft—has been translated into 12 languages. With AI tools, they’re working on 400 more. Our goal? Reach 3.5 million rare givers by 2026. What do we need now? Funding. But we have momentum on our side.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Cristol Barrett O’Loughlin:  I dream big. My dream is very clear and specific. I want Dolly Parton to write a song about RareGivers. Then Melinda Gates will hear it, fund a $10 million endowment, and Oprah will spread the word to hospitals worldwide. Colin Farrell, whose son has a rare disease, will join in. Chris Hemsworth will visit rare disease families in Australia. Eva Longoria will thank us at a L’Oréal event. John Mayer will bring a Hunter Syndrome patient onstage. And Julia Roberts will direct and star in an Amazon series to educate the world. That’s my dream.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Cristol Barrett O’Loughlin: When I was younger, I used to think that I was creating change in the world and I would just muscle it out and use my intellect, my network, connections, skills and just manifest change. During COVID, it was just a global pandemic, that humbles you in a way that  you just can’t deny.  We had to relaunch Rare Givers.  I started realizing that I can’t muscle through this.

I was looking at my mother, she’s a very strong woman of faith, and I really had not cultivated that side of my heart and my soul.  The word surrender just kept coming up again and again.  It brings me to tears, because as soon as I surrendered the outcome, then it just became an exercise in faith. I will tell you that the miracles just start coming, and then you start living in gratitude, hopping from miracle to miracle and that exact right person arrives.

Charity Matters: You mentioned there was a happy ending to your familY’s story, can you share it with us?

Cristol Barrett O’Loughlin: My parents married young and lost three of their five children. They divorced, remarried, divorced again, and married new partners for 20 years. Both were widowed in the same year our daughter Chloe was born.

Chloe’s arrival reopened their hearts. After 35 years apart, they began dating again. And last year, at 81 years old, we remarried them—60 years after their original wedding. That’s our happy ending.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

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Refueling

Before Easter I was hanging by a thread. Thank you to all who reached out with wonderful support and kind comments, your emails and thoughts mean more than you know. Truth be told I was simply out of gas. The past few months of running a nonprofit has taken its toll. I don’t usually pause but push through. This time there simply wasn’t enough in the reserve tank to do so. I had no choice but to stop, to wait and to refuel for as long as it took to recharge these very empty batteries.

Easter was so much fun! Our middle son is engaged and his beautiful fiance and her family joined ours for the first time. That was fuel for my tank. A houseful of love and family and laughter. Pure sunshine and joy that reminded me how blessed we are. Then there was actual Spring Break. No, I didn’t leave my desk but since schools were closed the phones didn’t ring and it felt like a retreat of sorts. No in person meetings and a week to dig out was restorative.

Then this past weekend, we celebrated the happy couple’s engagement with bringing so many family and friends together to celebrate these two beautiful people starting their life together. It poured rain all day until an hour before the party. Then the sun came out and it was a glorious day on so many levels. People came from far and wide and the love in the room was palpable. That is the fuel that makes me go, love. It is the best energy source available here on earth and one that is renewable if properly tended.

Then I came home to receive this note from Susie Shaw, who you met last week with her podcast William’s Be Yourself Challenge. Susie said, “I’m truly touched to have the opportunity to share William’s story and the mission behind WBYC with your audience. It was a privilege to connect with you, and I’m so grateful for the thoughtful, heartfelt way you approach your work. I’m excited to share the episode and blog post with our community.  Thank you again for the opportunity and for all that you do to shine a light on service, hope, and impact. It truly means so much.” 

This is why I do this work. Not for the accolades but to know that these conversations matter. Susie went on to share that her community had a devastating loss last week with three teens killed in a car accident. She was able to begin working with grieving families that had helped her in her enormous time of loss. To give back to those that held her up. Hearing about moments like these lifts me up. It refuels my faith in humanity and gives me hope.

To end a full week, on Sunday and Tuesday I spoke to two different groups about Change for Good. It was terrific to hear from people who had read the book and hear how it had inspired them . It was lovely knowing that people who read the book were now buying it for friends and family to inspire them to serve. Hearing from people who had found renewal in serving others also refueled me. Knowing that the message of service as the ultimate silver bullet is resonating with people brings me such joy.

While my tank is more than halfway filled, I am renewed by love, by kindness and by the compassion of others. It is the best way to keep moving forward.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

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Episode 86: William’s Be Yourself Challenge

Easter has passed and we are officially into springtime, the season of renewal. There is no greater renewal story than today’s guest Susan Shaw. Susie and her husband lost their nine year old son William in an accident. In the years that followed they have taken that pain and turned into purpose for other grieving families.

Join us today for a powerful conversation about love, loss and renewal. Susie’s journey is one of inspiration and hope that there is always love.

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what WBYC does?

Susie Shaw: At WBYC, we empower individuals to embrace their authentic selves with courage and joy. We are dedicated to fostering meaningful connections within our community and supporting grieving families by providing the tools they need to honor their loved ones and navigate their journeys of healing. Together, we create spaces where love, remembrance, and personal growth flourish.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start WBYC?

Susie Shaw: We started the organization shortly after my son William died. He died in 2019, when we were on a family ski trip out in Montana.  William was nine. There was an accident and, as you can imagine, it was one of the most painful and excruciating events that I’ve ever experienced. The beauty that came from my community after he died, was incredible. I live in a very small town, where everybody knows everybody.

 When William died, he was in third grade and the whole town suffered with us.  As time went on, we started  to notice and hear that some of William’s friends and parents were still struggling in their grief.  A year after William had died, my husband and my surviving son, Kai, were getting support. We were going to the grief groups because there are services for people like us there. There aren’t any services for best friends.

If you’re the friend of a little boy who dies, there’s no support group for that right? I was so close with all of these families that I just hated what I was seeing for them.  So a group of moms got together with my permission, and they decided to put on our very first event playing a game William loved. When we saw the excitement and the beauty and the love that all these kids felt for each other while honoring William and they had that agency over their feelings. Williams Be Yourself Challenge spawned out of that inaugural event. We went on to host an educational lecture and brought in a therapist to talk about grieving for the community. 

 I also realized how privileged my family has been in our grief journey and the support that we have received through therapy and our beautiful community. My husband got to take six months off of work. That is not the norm.  We had this unbelievable privilege of him taking those six months and we got to travel as a new family of three to figure out. We were able to create some new memories. All this stuff that happened in the early months after William died was percolating in me. A while after, I thought,” I wish other families could have this. I wish other families could go away, because sometimes home is hard. The bedroom is there, the toys are there.” There’s all these reminders. 

We’re currently raising money to be able to buy a single family home for families who have suffered the loss of either a child or a parent. We want to be able to give 52 families per year a free week-long vacation. I realized that getting away was so incredibly important for our family. Now all I want to do is allow other families to have just a week. Isn’t long enough, but it’s something.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Susie Shaw:  I am an entrepreneur. And that was something I had never done before.  This isn’t me. My first job out of college, I was in the nonprofit space.  I worked for the United Cerebral Palsy of Chicago. I was their events planner, and it was an amazing job. Then I worked at the Museum of Modern Art in New York in their development office and at the LA County Museum of Art. So, I had this past of service and understanding of the world of philanthropy and giving.

Some of my challenges have been being the starter. Before, when I was in nonprofit, I was the worker.  Now I’m telling people what to do. I’m walking that line of not trying not to control too much, but needing help finding the right help. Now we need expertise in real estate and in planned giving.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Susie Shaw: I just think about the families that I want to serve because I know what it feels like to need that support, you know. I’ve walked their path. And I certainly don’t want to insinuate that I know what every grieving family feels like, because every grieving family has their own unique story. However, I do think that some of the things we want to do for these families are universal. You want to be cared for. You want to be seen in your grief. You want to be witnessed in your grief, and know that somebody is looking out for you who understands.

And so that’s what I think about when, when I get off a call with a potential donor who just doesn’t get it or isn’t interested in the project.. It happens. You’re not going to relate to everybody.  Then I go back to the families because I’ve been there and I know how painful it is.

 I just want to be able to give other families that same little bit of hope to know that they’re going to be able to survive. I was so afraid that my family would disintegrate after William died. Instead, we had a ton of support, a ton of guidance and we’re doing wonderfully.  We brought a new child into our life. We have a four year old, Cody and he is just the best thing that we could have done for our family. 

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Susie Shaw: it’s hard to quantify, because what we’re trying to do is such an emotional experience. We don’t have a program where we’re hiring therapists to execute with immeasurable results. However, I do think about success in getting feedback from a family who spends a week at our house and telling me that it was transformative, that it was healing and that it was important. I also think about those families than telling their friends about it, and maybe those friends then donate to us. That, to me, is a measure of success. Or those guests that come to our house and tell their grief support groups about their experience and create a referral system. That’s a measure of success. The fact that people are recognizing that this is a needed service within the grief space is success as well.  

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Susie Shaw: if we had a network of grief retreat homes for families.  That would be beyond my wildest dream. Then we could serve double and triple and quadruple the amount of families. With one house, we can serve 52 families a year, if we were to have people there all year. 

Judy’s house is a grief support group out of Denver and they partner with New York Life Foundation.  Both are responsible for sort of quantifying data around bereaved families. Their newest report has just come out. They have found that one in 11 children will suffer the loss of a sibling or a parent before they turn 18. Wow. That is so many families!  52 families to me, sounds like an amazing feat, but that’s barely scratching the surface of how many families need grief support.  If we can have more, let’s have more!

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Susie Shaw:  I’m grateful for every moment.  There’s no rush in any of this. Let’s just be really intentional about what we decide to do today or this week or this month, and that’s really helped me slow down in everything.  I just feel like I’m a better human being.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Susie Shaw: When William died, my entire life changed 100%.  I am a mother and I have two living children as well.  I identify as a bereaved mother. Sometimes first, because it has changed me so much more than even becoming a mother. Losing a child has changed me more than giving birth to three children.

I think I’m a better person. I really do. And I talk a lot with other bereaved moms. There’s a similar sentiment among many of us. I mean, we were just cracked open.  Everything just came pouring out….The good, the bad, all of it and I guess I just feel like I’ve grown so much in my empathy and for all types of people. Especially with my little four year old, I am so much more patient because I view motherhood in a new way…… that we all just need to slow down.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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