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Thanksgiving Gratitude

At times, our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.”

Albert Schweitzer

thanksgiving-mother-and-son-peeling-potatoes-1945

 

Tomorrow is the day, sadly the one day for many of us, that we take time to be thankful. This year, this day and this moment I am grateful for many things, my guess is for many of the same things you are;  health, family, friends and for those people in my life who have guided me to where I am right now and there are many.

When you are not sure how to begin the process of gratitude, think for a moment of where you are at this moment in time and in your life. How many hands have guided you to this place? Today, I am grateful to each person who has lighted my path and for all of those who have shown me the way.

I am grateful to each of you who continue to inspire, teach and motivate me on this journey. To each and all of you, I wish you and your families a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Charity Matters.

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Living your purpose

“Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

living purpose Spirit rally 2013 copy

As I mark my one year anniversary as the Executive Director, of a non-profit youth leadership organization, I find myself full of gratitude. I know it is Thanksgiving week, but this is more than being grateful. I am in awe of the path that lead me to this place where I am in a position to inspire, engage and motivate hundreds of middle and high school students each year. In turn, they are in the position to do the same to me and have.

More than motivation or leadership, what I find brings me the greatest joy is living a life of purpose. I was telling a girlfriend about my job the other day and she responded, “Wow, I didn’t realize you could get paid to make the world better?” Her reaction surprised me a bit. More than that, it made me think that my “payment” is so much more than a check (don’t get me wrong, raises are always appreciated).

Of course this past year has been full of challenges and road blocks but what great adventures aren’t?  Life is journey and when you get to a place on your path, when you get to be your best self and show that to others…..well there is simply no place else I would rather be.

Charity Matters.

Copyright © 2014 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

To Write

“You don’t write because you WANT to say something, you write because you HAVE something to say.”

F. Scott Fitzgerald

Writing

The other day as I sat down to write, I realized that I had written more than 500 posts. I’m not quite sure just how that happened, but apparently I have had more than a few thoughts to share. I am a communicator, it is what I do. Writing, to me,  is more than communicating.

We live in a world with so much noise that writing is actually my quiet. It is a time to really think about something, to find a subject’s heart and then to share that heart and hope the message is not just delivered, but felt.

That is why I write. I write to think, I write to feel and I write to share.

Charity Matters.

Copyright © 2014 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Unbroken

Photo via: KTLA
Photo via: KTLA 

Have you ever read a book that stayed with you, shifted you, and made you think…really think? I just finished reading one of the most amazing books, trying to beat the movie which comes out on Christmas. The book was Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand about an incredible and inspiring human being Louis Zamperini. Since yesterday was Veteran’s Day, I could think of no better example to model our Veteran’s than this remarkable man.

I know many of you have read it and/or heard the story but it one that is more than worth retelling. It is the real life story of a boy aiming at the Olympics, who ends up in WWII with unbelievable stories of adventure, torture and survival. But more important than anything is Louis Zamperini’s attitude, his ability to forgive and his message of the resilience of the human spirit.

As you know, Louis Zamperini died last year. You may not know that he was a non-profit founder, after the war he started a home for troubled youth and dedicated his life to helping others. The man was pure inspiration. If you give your self a gift, sit down with the book or just wait a month for the movie. The legend of Louis Zamperini lives on, I hope in each of us.

Charity Matters.

 

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THE moment

Phot via:Jwagler.com
Photo via: Jwagler.com

Yesterday, was the 12th anniversary of my moment. I know you all know what it is and that I am sometimes a broken record about it, but what really fascinates me is not my own moment, but rather, everyone else’s moment. A few weeks back I wrote a post, Simply No Words” about a friend’s tragic loss that brought my moment tumbling back as if I was reliving my own.

Dr. Phil calls them the ” 5 defining moments of your life” Oprah likes to call them “Ahaa moments” and for me I don’t really care what they are called. What I care is how those moments are used. How these moments, events in time somehow shape and mold you like soft clay.

For some, these moments are tragic, for others they are the moment of sobriety, a moment of forgiveness, a moment of loss, grief or illness but more than anything a moment of realization. After speaking with hundreds of non-profit founders, I can tell you that each one I have interviewed, can tell you their moment. That split second in time that forever altered the course of their life.

I truly believe that we all have them, some moments are bigger than others. Do we see them (warning: they are often hard to miss) But more importantly, is what did you learn from that moment? How did you use it to make another’s life better? The extraordinary people I call my heroes (aka non-profit founders) are just like you and me. What makes them so unique is their ability to take that split second in time and turn in into a lifetime of good.

Whatever you call that, defining or ahaa, these moments become gifts in defining our purpose.

Charity Matters.

 

Copyright © 2014 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

The Last Pass

The last pass

For as long as I can remember I wanted to be the mother of boys, perhaps, it was growing up in a house full of sisters. Being the mother of three sons, I got what I wished for and have never looked back. There are many gifts that come with sons, but one that I had not really processed until it was it was too late, was the gift of football. Tonight is the last time we will sit in the stands and watch our son play the sport he loves. Tonight will be the last pass.

When our second son was born, we were not thinking about football but his first word, “ball” should have been a warning sign that he had bigger plans. By age four he was on a flag football team and he dragged us along, as his love affair with the sport began. We were sure like most first loves, it would burn bright and quick, but we were very wrong.

Before we knew it, years had passed, thousands of hours logged at games, piles of laundry done, multiple stinky car rides home, more muddy cleats, hundreds of late nights doing homework had turned into high school football. It was four years ago, when I had the epiphany about the sport. I saw the love, the passion, and the discipline of what 12 hour days did for a boy. It made them committed, passionate, strong…it made them the best of themselves.

For the first time I saw the true brotherhood between these boys, who battle together day in and day out for their school and one another. I saw them hold each other up through good times and bad. The bonds, the memories, the life long friendships made between players and between parents….I saw the gift.

Tonight we will gather for one last time to watch our sons do what they love and every moment will be a gift, even the last pass.

 

Charity Matters.

 

Copyright © 2014 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

To live like you are dying

live like you were dying

What would you do if you were told you had just a few months to live? I’m not sure any of us really know that answer. We may think we do but our lives are simply too busy to think about such morbid thoughts, until we are faced with such a moment.

We all rush through life as if  it is a race, a place where someone wins and yet life isn’t about any of that. It is the moments with ones we love, the beauty all around us and in finding joy in the things that matter.

That is the choice that Brittany Maynard made when she was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. She chose to live and to choose the day of her death as well. Her story and her message is as much about life as it is about death.

There isn’t much to say that hasn’t been said right here but when you see something like this story, it causes you to pause, to cry and to shift. With treatment, the disease’s median survival time is around 14 months, meaning that half of those live for longer than 14, and half live for less. Brittany was given six months. Doctors explained that her death would be slow and painful as her tumor grew — a worsening progression of headaches, nausea, vomiting, weakness, and seizures. Brittany wanted to use this a starting point for a conversation, she did that with The BrittanyFund.org

As she said, “Seize the day, the world is a beautiful place, travel has been my greatest teacher, my close friends and folks are the greatest givers. I even have a ring of support around my bed as I type … Goodbye world. Spread good energy. Pay it forward!”

Brittany chose to live her life on her terms, to use her experience to help others understand and to live like she was dying. Godspeed Brittany.

Charity Matters.

 

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Tradition

tradition, pumpkin carving

There is something to be said about traditions, rituals and tried and true events that anchor your life. Think back to one of  the traditions in your life…you know exactly what it is, don’t you? That one event that happened every year that you looked forward too and that no matter what was happening, you somehow attended.

I grew up with a Mid-Western mother who loved and created many a tradition for us growing up and I have started a few of my own. Last night, we celebrated our annual pumpkin carving party. It’s not a huge crowd and we have had most of the same families the sunday before Halloween for well over 15 years. We have the same menu, off the same dishes and do the same thing and while it is nothing special….it is special, simply in the fact, that it is tradition.

Now that we all have children in college, and some of them are making the trip home for pumpkin carving, I realize how this simple tradition has become an anchor. Our lives are so full and the days so fast, that we can barely process what has happened in a 24 hour period. I am blessed by traditions given to me and by the ones I have given to others.

Anytime you give of yourselves to make another’s life better, it is a gift. Last night my gift was not service. My gift to those I love was the gift of tradition.

Charity Matters.

Copyright © 2014 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Giving to yourself

“Giving yourself some loving attention is not selfish. It is sensible. If you feel loved and cherished–even if it is only by yourself–then you will have more love to give to others, too.” 

Penelope Quest

giving to yourself, oxygen mask

This week I wanted to circle back to where we began. Talking about giving back to ourselves and making sure that we are remembering to put the mask on our selves first and then our “passengers” second.

As we get ready for another fun fall weekend, remember to take some time for yourself. Just you!

I know you can do it

Have a wonderful weekend and enjoy your self!

Charity Matters.

Copyright © 2014 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Caring for the Caregiver: CAN

caring for the caregiver

The other day, I mentioned my friend, who has an adult child that is ill. This recent change of events has put her in a role that millions of us find ourselves in each year, becoming a caregiver. Whether it is an aging parent, a sick family member and or everything in between. The question becomes, who cares for the caregiver?

This was a question asked by two friends, Suzanne Mintz and Cindy Fowler, over twenty years ago. The two were discussing their similar roles with Suzanne caring for her husband with MS and Cindy caring for a mother with Parkinson’s. Their conversation led to the realization that there must be others in the same situation. They were right, it turns out that there were 65 million caregivers in this country.

The two made it their mission to provide support to others who may not know how to reach out for help and who did not even know the phrase “family caregiver.” The result was their  founding the National Family Caregivers Association (NFCA) in 1993. “Our original vision was to get information and resources into people’s hands and to let them know they weren’t alone,” according to Fowler.  NCFA focused on providing a voice for caregivers that would enable them to speak up and get the help they need.

As Suzanne Mintz recalled: “We wondered why no one seemed to be focused on the fact that helping a loved one with a deteriorating illness had a very real impact on not only the person with the illness, but also on those of us who were primarily responsible for helping them.”

For the celebration of the National Family Caregivers Association 20th anniversary, they renamed their non-profit to the Caregiver Action Network or CAN. These two women took their challenges and turned them into an awareness, a non-profit and a movement to inform each of us that family caregiving is a lifespan issue, not one restricted to the aging community.

They are an inspiration and their newly named organization CAN, simply says it all.

Charity Matters.

 

Copyright © 2014 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Running on Empty

photo via: onstar.com
photo via: onstar.com

I recently found myself giving great advice to a friend who is running on empty. She has been caring for her adult son who is ill and needless to say her tank is out of fuel. I write each week about giving. Giving of oneself, giving time, sharing talents but I rarely write about giving to your self.

I find it fascinating that we do not think twice about supporting a cause, giving our energy and resources and yet, time and time again we all put ourselves at the bottom of the list. While I do believe and practice the philosophy of “the more you give, the more you receive.” There is a line, a fine one, but it is there. Each of us needs to start looking at that line and knowing what to do when we see it.

That line is our gas tank and if our fuel is running low, then we need to take the resources we need to fill it up before we can begin to give to another. As they say on the plane, put your oxygen mask on yourself first and then on your child. Our giving is no different, we need to make sure that we are at the top of our list so that we can take care of everyone else below.

You give so much too so many, remember to give to yourself….first.

Charity Matters.

 

Copyright © 2014 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

September 11th-Patriots Day

Photo by Scott Lewis  917-386-4555     Library Tag 09112008 National/Foreign
Photo by Scott Lewis 917-386-4555 Library Tag 09112008 National/Foreign

Tomorrow markes the 13th anniversary of the fateful day that changed the face of our nation forever, September 11th, now renamed Patriots Day. Each year I wonder will we remember? Should we remember? It is so painful, even more than a decade later we all feel the pain of reminders when we watch the news and see the images. I debated, is it time to stop reflecting on this fateful day?

After some thought, my answer is no. We promised never to forget. We promised to hold those families in our hearts and to come together as a nation. So, if ripping off the band-aid yet another year reminds us of our promise, then that is what needs to be done.

So tonight, tomorrow and every day after, hug your children, tell the people in your life that you love them. Just as the song says, “I believe love will find a way.” Make Pariots Day stand for something, love.

We will never forget.

Charity Matters.

Copyright © 2014 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Is being good simply for gain, really good?

photo via: Huffington Post
photo via: Huffington Post

The other day I sat in a meeting for a non-profit I’m involved with and the conversation was on branding. The topic quickly turned to cause marketing or how to use your good deeds to get love for your brand. The organization I’m involved with already does good deeds, it’s a non-profit for goodness sake!  But I walked away from the meeting pondering the question, are we truly being authentic or are we taking away from our purpose when we use it for gain?

I do think when you are doing great work in your service towards others,  you want the world to know it and you should. This is what non-profits have been doing for decades. Many corporations have built their business on their authentic support of community, such as Wells Fargo. Not for gain but because it is what is right and part of their core corporate culture. It is simply what they do.

The question becomes more perplexing when you are a business. A for profit business. There has been a recent development in the past few years of for profit businesses establishing themselves as B Corporations by earning a B Corp Certificate from the nonprofit group B Lab. These companies are not non-profits but support non-profits. One example is Jessica Alba’s Honest The Honest Company. The Honest Company sells and delivers monthly organic diapers and other non-toxic chemical free products. They give some products and revenue to related causes.

The Honest Company is going public and is raising $150 million dollars. Like any public company’s mission, their goal is to maximize its return to its stake holders. The stake holders are the beneficiary in public companies, not the cause. Honest or not? Is this a win-win or a very gray area?  Which brings me back full circle to where we began, is being good simply to gain, really good?

I am not sure. What do you think?

Charity Matters.

 

Copyright © 2014 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

 

 

Where does a movement begin? The Ice Bucket Challenge

ice bucket challenge

How do trends start? What was the impetus to all of us dumping buckets of ice water on our heads? Who was the inspiration behind this chilly trend?

The answer is simple. His name is Pete Frates and this is his story.

So the next time you are looking at Facebook and/or pouring a bucket of ice on your head, remember why you are doing and for who.  You are doing it for Pete Frates and everyone else who has ALS.  The trend that is changing the face of ALS belongs to one face only and that is of Pete Frates…. an inspiration to us all.

Charity Matters.

Copyright © 2014 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.