I wrote this piece a couple of weeks ago and waited to share it here because it was picked up by a few places and published, which was really lovely. Now that it is “out” I wanted to share it with you….
“We lost everything in the fire.” She pulled out her phone and showed me the charred remains of what was once her beautiful home in Altadena. The loss, the sadness and shock were real but where Marie said this was almost as shocking as the tragic images of what was left of her home. Marie was volunteering and helping other victims of the fires in our Pasadena/Altadena community and she wasn’t the only one.
When tragedy strikes, it is easy to think about what has happened to us? Who is it that thinks about others while they are suffering? After interviewing hundreds of fellow nonprofit founders over the past decade, I have learned that many know the path to healing begins by helping others. All of these individuals have suffered a loss of some sort and recycled their pain for purpose.
As we were folding clothing at our tables at the Pasadena Elks Lodge to distribute items to families who had lost everything in the fire, my fellow volunteer Denise told me, “I would much rather be here helping others than thinking about what has happened in my neighborhood.” Teary eyed and sad, she went on to tell me that she has always volunteered and that is how she met so many of the people in her community. Years spent helping in the classroom, with sports teams and so many groups that make Altadena a special place to live. While those places may be gone, the community spirit that created this idyllic neighborhood is not. We are seeing this day after day as the community begins to dig out from the rubble of their lives and start the healing process.
According to the US. Census Bureau and Americorp, over 75.7 million or 28.3% of the US population age 16 and up formally volunteered in 2023. That is more than one out of four Americans. Those hours add up to over 5 billion hours of formal volunteering, that is an average of 66 hours per person or eight business days. Meanwhile, over half of Americans age 16 and older say that they provided informal help to their neighbors.
Living in the Pasadena community my entire life, I have seen this community come together time and time again to help one another in times of loss. When I lost my own mother in a tragic car accident two decades ago, our community rallied around us in ways we could never begin to repay. Neighbors paid my parents bills while my father was in a coma. Meals came for six weeks while we attended three funerals from the accident. Friends mailed our Christmas cards and bought diapers for our young children and the list goes on. This what this community has always done and continues to do in the face of tragedy. Like the beautiful San Gabriel Mountains which were formed over centuries of earthquakes, this community will rise from the rubble as it continues to give and learn to receive.
It was in receiving that I learned the power of giving to heal. A year after our family’s tragedy, a group of friends and I started a nonprofit at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles to provide chaplains of all faiths to CHLA. It was serving that community that healed my own loss and grief in unimaginable ways. The power to see an other’s pain somehow deflects your own. It is through serving others we gain empathy and perspective that puts us on the long path to healing.
Dr. Ervin Staub Ph.D wrote in his December 2011 article in Psychology Today entitled, The Altruism of Suffering that, “Healing, by talking about one’s suffering to empathic others, contributes. Support from individuals and community, society embracing those who have suffered, is of great value. After some of these experiences, people may be ready to begin to help others, learning by doing that further changing them.”
When I asked my girlfriend Stephanie if I could start a Go Fund Me for her after she and her family lost everything in the Altadena fire. She asked me if instead I would consider starting a fundraiser for the Los Angeles Regional Food Bank, where she is a board member. My reply was, “You don’t own a toothbrush!” In the end, we did both. Each of us recognizing each other’s needs to help. Stephanie recognized that her friends needed an outlet to heal by supporting their Go Fund Me. While for Stephanie, supporting her beloved LA Regional Food Bank is a way for her to begin the healing process while helping others.
As one friend told me, “Things don’t always end up how you hope or plan that they will. We are discovering the most amazing support from our community and everyone around us. I am reminded daily of the love that surrounds me during one of the most difficult times in my life.”
CHARITY MATTERS.
YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT, IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:
- www.Charity-Matters.com
- On IG @Charitymatters
- Post a screenshot & key takeaway on your IG story and tag me @heidijohnsonoffical and @Charitymatters so we can repost you.
- Leave a positive review on Apple Podcasts
- Subscribe to new episodes each week!
Copyright © 2025 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.
