“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”
GK Chesterton
Today is Thanksgiving and a national day of gratitude but why is being grateful something that only happens once a year? There has been a slew of scientific research and studies on the topic of gratitude and happiness. One that I read recently called, Eight Ways Gratitude Boost Happiness by Lyubomirsky which stated that there is a direct link between happiness and gratitude. Expressing gratitude brings about happiness for the one giving thanks. The more thankful someone is the less room there is for negative thoughts. Really who has time for negatively? With that, I wanted to share a little poem I came across about being thankful and my Thanksgiving wish for you is that you find gratitude and joy today and every day.
Be Thankful
Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don’t know something,
for it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations,
because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge,
because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes.
They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you’re tired and weary,
because it means you’ve made a difference.
It’s easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who
are also thankful for the setbacks.
Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,
and they can become your blessings.
This Thanksgiving I am thankful for health, family, friends and all of you. This community who believes in goodness and the power we all have to make our world better each moment. Wishing all of you a most joyous Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Charity Matters
YOUR REFERRAL IS OUR GREATEST COMPLIMENT, IF YOU ARE INSPIRED, PLEASE SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER.
Today is the day that we take time to be thankful. This year, this day and this moment I am grateful for many things, my guess is for many of the same things you are; health, family, friends and for all the amazing nonprofit founders who continue to inspire and teach so many invaluable life lessons.
This year has been a challenging one for me personally with more loss than I was prepared for. Yet, every time
I have a conversation with one of these inspiring founders its as if someone hit a reset button for me that leads me to gratitude. Each founder has sacrificed their life to make others lives better. Every one them remind us all what really matters and just how much we have to be grateful for each and every day.
So today, I am grateful to each person who has come into my life and for all of the lessons they have taught. Most of all, I am grateful to each of you who continue to inspire, teach and motivate on this journey. To each and all of you, I wish you and your families a very joyous and Happy Thanksgiving!
Charity Matters
YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT, IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER.
“For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
Today is Thanksgiving and it is a day set aside for gratitude, which is why I love this day so much! There are so many things that I am thankful for and you are at the top of my list. You have been here every week reading Charity Matters for the past decade, cheering me on with story ideas, commenting when a post touches you and sharing posts with friends. I am so truly grateful to you. Your own giving of time and your excitement to share your favorite cause fill my heart each and every day.
This year the pandemic has brought us a renewed clarity of what matters. Gratitude for health, safety, family, and friends. We have collectively slowed our pace and are taking time for gratitude. Today I am with my family and while it isn’t our traditional large celebration, my cup is running over. My gratitude propels me to give as much back as I possibly can.
So wherever you are this year, serving meals to the homeless, slaving away in your kitchen cooking, or simply watching football on TV, know that I am grateful for you, your support, and all you give of yourself and to others.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear.
five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes.
How do you measure,
Measure a year?
In daylights?
In sunsets?
In midnights?
In cups of coffee?
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife?
In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes.
How do you measure a year in a life?
This past weekend we celebrated my Dad’s 80th birthday. It was a fantastic celebration of a man who has lived many lives, faced death more than a few times and never thought he would be here to talk about it eighty years later. Like all birthdays it was a time of reflection, a moment to pause and to assess what really matters…family, friends, health and love. Our celebration was all of that and then some. As my dad spoke to everyone, he talked about how grateful he was to have such a life and reminded us all that none of us get out of here alive….which if you know my dad speaks to his humor.
My dad is one of seven children and all of the siblings rallied from near and far to be with him for his special day. The only one missing was my aunt, the firstborn of the clan who had passed away a week before. So, on Monday we had her service and celebrated my aunt’s life in a different sort of celebration, a celebration of life. The juxtaposition was palpable and yet both events were joyful times honoring my amazing family.
I came home from the service and couldn’t help but take a pause for the legacy my grandparents created in their seven children. First and foremost, they (my aunts and uncle) are a team. Always one hundred percent there for each other and every life event. Years ago when my parents were in their car accident and my dad was in a coma, his siblings came from everywhere and took turns sitting by his side 24 hours a day for weeks so he was never alone. They are always there for one another, no matter what.
All of my aunts and uncles have incredible faith and each has served others in a variety of ways. They have all been either teachers, champions for those who struggle with addiction, volunteers, board members, community leaders and above all humans who are kind, generous and who use their time to make others’ lives better. As I drove my family to the airport I followed a car that’s license plate said it all, GRYTFUL or grateful. …..beyond grateful to measure two amazing lives with love.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear.
five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes.
How do you measure,
Measure a year?
In daylights?
In sunsets?
In midnights?
In cups of coffee?
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife?
In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes.
How do you measure a year in a life?
Charity Matters
YOUR REFERRAL IS OUR GREATEST COMPLIMENT, IF YOU ARE INSPIRED, PLEASE SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER.
Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Help Us Adopt does?
Becky Fawcett: Help Us Adopt began in 2007 at our kitchen table and an idea to help build families through adoption. Our platform was families combined with a commitment to equality, something everyone could believe in. The brutal reality is that over 100 million children in the world need homes and adoption is the answer. We didn’t want to tell those children that people can’t afford to adopt, we wanted to be the ones who make their adoptions a reality. We do that by raising funds to provide grants to people who need financial support to begin their families.
photo credit: Classic Kids
Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start Help Us Adopt?
Becky Fawcett: I was raised that we were fortunate, there will always be people with more and always with less but more importantly, be grateful for what you have. When my husband Kipp and I realized that Invetro Fertilization (IVF) wasn’t going to work and adoption was going to cost $40,000 I thought, what would happen if we didn’t have this money? I knew how much motherhood meant to me and that I could just barely afford this, but where would I have gone if I didn’t have the resources? So, I began to look for organizations that helped families to fund adoptions and couldn’t find one that didn’t dictate how someone adopts.
I never intended to start this. My original intention was to give my marketing and pr skills as a volunteer to an existing grant organization. The more I looked I realized that the only existing organizations were limited in their thinking, giving small amounts of money to help fund adoptions, charging expensive application fees and were really patching the problem. These organizations were dictating how someone adopts. I thought who am I to tell families that they have to fit the traditional mold to adopt? Everyone grows up dreaming of a family. We knew we wanted to support all who had a dream of having a family.
That is why I started this because it just didn’t exist. So in 2007, I set out to tell this story that I knew I had to tell. Raising the initial funds was easy, until the recession….
Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?
Becky Fawcett: Our biggest challenge is raising money. Finding big angel donors is a lot of hustle for the million plus dollars we raise a year. Finding those donors who are investment donors. The other challenge is that there is still a stigma about adoption and a lot of misinformation about adoption out there and what makes a family. It is frustrating the language used around adoption.
Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?
Becky Fawcett: So many things, number one thing is that a lot of people thought we would fail and we have succeeded. Strangers have come to us and want to get involved, which is huge. We are doing groundbreaking work not just for adoption but for family equality. I love leading the charge here and I have become very comfortable with the uncomfortable.
I love building things and I believe Help Us Adopt can be even bigger. The last and most important thing is that helping people is infectious!
Charity Matters: When do you know you have made a difference?
Becky Fawcett: The minute we read an application from a family I know we are going to make a difference. When we award a grant we know we have moved the needle. We relieve families from debt in some cases, in some situations our funding helps to speed up the process of adopting their child. I know we help people the minute that grant is awarded. When the child gets home that is when the story starts getting told.
We can watch our work grow up before our eyes and that makes me SO excited! When we watch these children grow up and get Christmas and birthday cards of these beautiful families. Adoption is my world, this is my children’s lives and I need to make it better for everyone. For my children, for their birth mothers and all birth mothers who make the most difficult decisions in the face of adversity that none of us will ever understand. I am advocate for them and their rights as well and I never expected to be here.
Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had? What has your impact been?
Becky Fawcett: Help Us Adopt is now in our 12th year and are awarding on average a family a week a grant. When we started Help Us Adopt we only had $100,000 to award. Now, we have four grant cycles at $150,000 each year and our average grants are about nine thousand dollars. This puts us at helping a family a week for 2019.
A lot of blood sweat and tears have gone into this. It is hard work but a steady progressive upward climb. Everything we do is slightly different and we run our nonprofit like a business. Our issue is a unique and such an untold story. People think it is easy to adopt and that it should be free. When we start to tell people the challenges in adoption and about the children that need homes, people say, “I had no idea what can I do? ” Every single donor big or small makes a big difference by helping the life of a child. We put kids in homes and build families and everyone can relate to building a family.
Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?
Becky Fawcett:I know that every job I have ever had lead me to this. I have learned to always ask, the worst thing that can happen is that someone can say no. People are waiting to be asked. Tell people you need help they want to help.
Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?
Becky Fawcett:I don’t even know how to put that into words. I know I am not the person I was fourteen years ago. I am such a better version of myself in so many ways. The biggest change has been my level of compassion. I think I am much more aware now that you really never know what someone is dealing with. I didn’t tell people what I was going through when I struggled to have children. I’ve learned I have had to trust strangers, my children’s birth mothers and so many others along the way. I know I’m far from perfect but I do know the instant love I had with my children has changed my life forever.
Charity Matters
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“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”
Gilbert K. Chesterton
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and we are all trying to get here and there, whether we are rushing to the airport, to the grocery store or loading up the car to see family and friends to celebrate Thanksgiving. We are frantic, stressed, concerned about this relative or ingredients for that special traditional dish. Looking at everything going on around me, I wondered if our country’s founders, the Pilgrims, worried about such things? My sense is that they simply wanted to come together to celebrate gratitude. Gratitude is the foundation of tomorrow’s holiday.
So what does it mean to truly be thankful? Being thankful begins with simply being in this moment right here right now. Being grateful for being alive, being able to read this, being grateful for your vision, your ability to read, and being filled with joy because you have family or friends to celebrate with. It begins with just knowing how blessed we are to be alive.
I learned the lesson of true gratitude from my dad on Thanksgiving sixteen years ago. My Dad had been on vacation with my mom and his best friends early that November. They had all been at lunch and were heading to the perfect beach, a few weeks before Thanksgiving, when in a blink their lives were forever changed by a horrific car accident. My mom was gone, my dad’s long time friends were gone and he was in a coma. He had a broken back, broken ribs, punctured lungs and he died twice. He awoke from his coma to learn he had lost so many people he loved, a nightmare.
However, he survived and came home that year from the hospital on Thanksgiving Day. A day that traditionally my mom would have been cooking, fussing, ironing napkins and bringing everyone together as she always did. That year we ordered our turkey and Thanksgiving dinner as take out. We set the table and all of us were numb, we had just had three funerals and a newborn niece, born a day after my mom’s funeral.
We wheeled my Dad into the house and rather than cry, or complain, or say one unkind word my Dad was remarkable. He was quieter than normal but he was filled with enormous gratitude to simply be alive. His gratitude was his presence and he showed each of us through example what mattered was that we were alive and we were together. Nothing else mattered. It was the best Thanksgiving we ever had.
Today, sixteen years later my dad can still be grumpy on the outside (think of Clint Eastwood, “get off my lawn”) and yet when you ask him how he is doing, he looks you in the eye and says he is here and that is a good thing. What I’ve learned from my Dad is that no matter what is happening right now, you need to find gratitude, even when things are bad.
I’ve learned that life is precious and to live it like each moment is your last. Make the most out of opportunities that come across your path. We are each given one shot at this thing called life and we need to make choices everyday if we want to spend it being present with those we care about or worrying about something insignificant….those moments are a choice.
Being grateful to simply be alive and for the life you have is what it truly means to be thankful. My sense is that the Pilgrims felt the same way, their life was not a picnic and yet they were grateful for food and freedom. This Thanksgiving, I am grateful I am not cooking, grateful to be with those I love and grateful for love, health and family…all lessons my Dad taught me on what it truly means to be thankful.
Wishing each of you the joy of gratitude and blessings for the most joyous Thanksgiving!
Charity Matters.
YOUR REFERRAL IS OUR GREATEST COMPLIMENT, IF YOU ARE INSPIRED, PLEASE SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER.
“aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been”
David Bowie
Even though it’s only been a week since we were last together, another year has officially passed and I’m hoping that means that more wisdom, not wrinkles! While I am past the mid part of life, the fact is we never really know where our mid-part is. My mom died at 60, each day our time is ticking and for me it feels like a race. Somedays I run too fast to notice what is around me…..and yet I race to use my time, each precious drop for the greatest purpose….whatever that may be….a walk with a friend, time with my children, service to my family and others.
The process of aging is an adventure for sure and like every growth process there are spits and spurts. We spend the first quarter of our life physically growing. The second quarter trying to figure out who we are. The third quarter coming into our stride and knowing our strengths and weaknesses. Hopefully in Q3 we find how to give those gifts away or our purpose.
I’m not sure if we have one purpose but would like to believe we have many. What I do know is that every one of us is here to love and be loved, to use our gifts to their greatest good and that life is so much more than about yourself, it is about being of service to others. I’m grateful everyday to be alive, for my health, to celebrate another year and looking forward to Q3 and becoming the person I always should have been.
charity matters
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“Cause a little bit of summer is what the whole year is all about.”
John Mayer
Just typing the word makes me happy, giddy, joyful….Summer. I know it isn’t officially here until June 21st with Summer Solstice or when the kids are finally out of school but with Memorial Day weekend just a few days away, I think that the official countdown officially begins now.
Summer brings with it longer days, a slower pace, a change of routine and one that rarely involves stress or homework. Summer brings simplicity, joy, relaxation and sunshine….and who doesn’t need more of that? We race around all year and then something shifts as soon as we get through Memorial Day. I’m not sure if it is an internal clock that is triggered by our childhood summers or simply the weather but regardless, we all feel it. More than that we need summer, a time for rest and renewal.
So this weekend, as you celebrate Memorial Day, get excited to celebrate summer and all the joy that comes with the season. Have a fantastic long holiday weekend and enjoy the countdown!
Happy Memorial Day.
charity matters.
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L-O-V-E. Four simple letters that change everything. Love, a word that should always be the first thing said and the last. Anyone who has ever lost someone suddenly knows this. Love and saying, “I love you,“are words to live by. You hear it, you may think it, but do you actually say it? Life is so short and changes in the blink of an eye and last week we blinked and it changed.
First, was a call that a friend had died unexpectedly. We had seen him two weeks before, told him what he meant to us but had no idea it would be our last hug and in a blink he was gone. Two days later, another 49 year old friend shared that he has 3 months to live and is dying from cancer. The reaction was swift and immediate, hugs, tears and I love yous.The words didn’t take the pain away and the blows felt like a one two punch, almost too much to process within such a short period of time. The reality of how fragile our lives truly are came crashing down in a way that just makes everything else seem trivial and irrelevant.
As I watched the evening news that night, still trying to process our loss and find something better to focus on, I saw that a Southwest Jet lost an engine. What struck me wasn’t the pending panic or fear but rather all passengers scrambling to connect with loved ones to make sure they said I love you one last time. Had they started their day with it? Did they say I love you before they got on that flight? Did everyone they care about know how they felt? My sense was no because each of them appeared to try and say it, just one last time.
Fifteen years ago, when I discovered that my mom had died tragically and unexpectedly, one of my first thoughts was,”Did I remember to tell her I loved her before she left for her trip? Was I love you my last word?” I replayed the tape of our last time together over and over until my godmother confirmed that, yes, I had said it. I had a witness and somehow, the pain subsided.
Since that moment, our family doesn’t end a call or leave the house, no matter the rush…without saying , I love you. Angry, late, grumpy we say it. It is a gift and one that I have only recently realized, in light of last week. Life is precious. It is short. We have so little time and yet somehow, we miss the important stuff. If I died tomorrow, everyone in my life knows that I love them because love is always the last word.
L-O-V-E. Four simple letters that change everything.
charity Matters.
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“It is not joy that makes us grateful; but it is gratitude that makes us joyful.”
It’s here. There is no avoiding it, this is it. Today is the last day before they arrive….no not the in-laws or the kids home from college but the holidays. Today is the last day before the email box is bombarded with holiday sales and Black Friday deals. The last day before people start talking about holiday cards or even worse before they begin arriving. This is it. The calm before the storm. Right now, this moment, it is our gift.
So before it happens I am taking a moment, a breath, a pause to simply count my blessings. A moment to be grateful for the three crazy boys who will be home raiding my refrigerator any time. Grateful for the fact I have a refrigerator stocked with food when so many will go without. Grateful for the all the friends that will pop by this weekend for football and chili, when there are so many who are alone. Grateful for my crazy wonderful family who fills my life with life, chaos, drama, humor and so much love, when there are so many with broken hearts and homes. Grateful for my health and the health of those I love, knowing so many will spend the holidays in the hospital. Grateful for work I love and for all of those who serve others. Grateful for being safe, happy and healthy and grateful for being mindful that no matter what I have, someone else has less.
They are coming whether we are ready or not. So when it gets scary, stressful, overwhelming, one thing too much, just stop and think about what you are grateful for. I know your list is long and your heart is full. It is not joy that makes us grateful but gratitude that makes us joyful.
Blessings to you and yours for a joyous Thanksgiving.
With gratitude,
Charity Matters.
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“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive- to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.”
Marcus Aurelius
I am the first to admit that Mondays are not my favorite. The list that looms with the week ahead is often overwhelming. The pull of obligations can make me feel like an old Stretch Armstrong toy, with people pulling from all directions. While some weeks are certainly easier to embrace than others, I must be honest, I am not a fan of Mondays.
However, recently I have been getting up a little earlier, in trying to find a moment of solitude. A few short minutes to simply think. No cell phones, electronics, back round noise or distractions. The challenge is trying to keep my mind from the dreaded “to-do” list. When, I do simply sit in stillness, it creeps in slowly like the old friend that it is….gratitude.
A gift so simple, so profoundly powerful and completely life altering, that is what gratitude does. So this week as we begin our Monday, take a tiny moment to find gratitude for the simple gift of being alive….because you have to start somewhere.
Wishing you a beautiful week, happy Monday!
Charity Matters.
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“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”
Eckhart Tolle
As we all begin to prepare for Thanksgiving, it seems like an appropriate time to think of all we have to be grateful for.
It is so easy to think of all we have to do, but perhaps for just moment we can reflect upon all the blessings we have.
When my sons were younger we did “Thankful Thursday” every Thursday night at our dinner table. The boys would roll their eyes and then share whatever they were thankful for from “no homework” to “everyone at our table.” As the years went by, it became clear that this lesson in practicing gratitude was a gift.
Today, our college age sons reference their gratitude frequently. Now it comes in the form of a family text thread, the most recent from my 21-year-old “be thankful that we are all healthy and alive”
As Thanksgiving week begins, there is much to be thankful for this year. My sons are heading home from school mid-week, the house will be full of noise, chaos, friends and all that fills me up. There is simply nothing better than a noisy full house that is alive.
This year just as our house begins to fill in one area we will begin emptying in others. A process that for many, is cathartic, renewing and invigorating but for me has been difficult. My husband can rifle through a drawer never notice the saved birthday card, the tiny memento and in a moment have it all in a box. Yes, he wins on efficiency…
However, for me each drawer uncovers a memory, a moment, a special something and I find myself looking backwards at our life and all it has been. Where has it gone? How are our sons in college?Remembering how we were and filled with nostalgia.
I am reminded by many, that this is a process that most go through at some stage of life and I find myself wondering if it easy for everyone or this difficult? I know being sentimental does not and will not lend itself to our new mid-century zen home and that,”stuff” and memories are not the same. Yet, each item triggers another memory, another moment and a place in time that brings smiles and tears.
So, as the house fills with the noise and the chaos of the week, I am full of gratitude. We have been blessed with 3 amazing healthy sons, a life full of family, friends, fun and memories and a home that has anchored much of it. As the tears, roll down my cheeks and the house fills with noise I know that this is what matters and I am blessed.
