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What Matters? March 14, 2014

Finding the voice

It is almost impossible to believe that this is my 400th post! I sat down two and a half years ago to share stories of amazing people who make our world better every day through their philanthropy. In the process, I think I found myself and more importantly my voice.

I remember the first day, the first post… trying to find that voice, my voice, my tone, my soul to share. I was excited, scared and determined. It was a little bit like starting The Spiritual Care Guild, our motto at SCG was if we could just impact “one spirit, one soul, one child at a time” we would be a success. I think I approached Charity Matters the same way. If just one person was inspired or touched or moved to action than my time was well spent. Sometimes low expectations are easier….

Here we are 400 posts later, wonderful new friends, old friends, friends of friends all of who feed and inspire my voice. If there is one gift I have become abundantly aware in these last few years it is that…the power of voice. We all have one and they are all equal…..when was the last time you used your voice for something you care about?

I know….trust me…we are all tired. We are. We do so much, our plates are so full and sometimes it is just more energy than we have to speak up. But what happens when we don’t? Where does our power go? You don’t have to be Erin Brockovitch or Martin Luther King but if something is happening in your community, your school, your church, your Girl Scout troop….whatever it is, you have a voice. Use it.

So think about using that beautiful gift you were given. The energy you put out will come back, it is a magical renewable source. Thank you for being here and listening to mine. There are not words to express my gratitude for all you have done to enrich my life…..and most importantly to help me find myself and my voice.

Charity Matters.

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Charity Matters Inspiration March 3, 2014

Listening

The other day I was invited to attend a “listening session” for an organization that I am involved with, that is going through a transition. For those of you that know me, well….talking is more what I am known for, than listening. The beauty of this event was that it brought together people from a variety of non-profits all over Los Angeles and put us in small groups to discuss the change.

My group consisted of school principals, college professors, non-profit employees and one gentleman from Homeboy Industries, who on the surface, appeared to have had a gang past. The room was noisy and filled with conversation, some which was difficult to hear. As the night came to a close and we gathered for dinner and this gentleman began to tell me his story. He was soft-spoken, gracious and an incredibly gifted speaker.

He moved to Boyle Heights as a young boy and grew up in a home filled with addiction and abuse. Art was his passion and escape and when a teacher ripped up his art work, his anger took over, his school career ended and a life a drugs ensued. Almost a decade later he gave up hope and walked onto a freeway at night ready to end it all. His last words, “my children or mis hijos.” A gust of wind surrounded him, a truck swerved and by the grace of God this gentleman ended up alive and in rehab .

He left rehab and walked straight into Father Greg Boyle’s office at Homeboy Industries and asked for a job. Father Greg cried when he saw the change in this man and told him to start his job on monday. As I sat and listened to this incredible story, the Homeboy employee leaned in and said, “that was 8 years ago and now I have dedicated my life to helping others with their sobriety, living a life of integrity and I use my life-like the gift it is every single day.”

My eyes filled with tears, at this incredible man, his grace, the gift I was granted by his presence and the simple invitation to listen.

Charity Matters.

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What Matters? February 28, 2014

Living a life that matters

A friend sent this to me recently and I’m not sure who wrote it but I know it spoke to me and I hope it speaks to you.

Living a life that matters

Live a life that matters

Ready or not, someday it will all come to an end.

There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.

All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.

It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.

Your grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies will finally disappear.

So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.

It won’t matter where you came from, or on what side of the tracks you lived, at the end.

It won’t matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant

Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter?

How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built; not what you got, but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success, but your significance.

What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence, but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you’re gone.

What will matter is not your memories, but the memories that live in those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident.

It’s not a matter of circumstance, but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters.

Charity Matters.

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Charity Matters Quotes February 3, 2014

Charity Matters Quotes

“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say, I used everything you gave me.”

Erma Bombeck

The other morning I woke up to one of those 3am calls when the news is never good. It was my Dad and he was heading to the ER with chest pains, complaining that “his heart felt full.” So did mine.

My Dad ended up having a procedure that removed a large blockage in his heart. He has stared death in the eyes many times and we are now referring to him as “El Gato” because he has had so many lives. That being said, my Dad is very alive. When I think about what it is, that makes him that way, it only comes down to a few words….faith, family, friends and gratitude. That is his life.

When his time does finally come (and I hope that is a long way off) I know that he will have answered Erma Bombeck’s quote correctly. He will not have a single bit of talent left and say he used everything he was given.

What will you say?

Charity Matters.

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What Matters? January 29, 2014

The survey says……Americans not as giving.

I have to say, I have a love hate relationship with surveys. Its fun to take them but since I am not a huge statistics expert, I find myself often questioning the research, the sample size, etc.. especially when the survey results are not to my liking. If ever that was the case, it was when I heard the results of the latest survey from the World Giving Index, which stated that out of 135 countries the United States did not even rank in the top 10 for giving to charity.

The global survey was conducted last year by Gallup and polled 155,000 people aged 15 or older and interviewed at least 1,000 people in 135 countries. The survey asked about charitable giving and behavior and the results were mixed for the U.S..

The United States ranked 13th in terms of giving to charity, with 62% of Americans giving. Developing countries such as Indonesia and Thailand (ranked 5th at 70%) outranked us as well. We were significantly behind the United Kingdom at 76% and Myanmar at 85%. Where is Myanmar anyway?

Here is the good news, while we as a nation may not open our wallets as often, we were number one when it came to helping a stranger at 77% and third internationally when it came to volunteering at 45%. More good news is that charitable giving, helping each other out and volunteering were all up globally.

So at the end of the day, I would like to think the survey tells us that regardless of where we come from, it is about being kind to one another and not simply about what we give away. Pat yourself on the back for helping strangers, all those volunteer hours and sharing what you have to help another. Like everything else, there is always room for improvement and next year!

Charity Matters.

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Raising Philanthropic Children January 27, 2014

Senior moment

As parents we live for those moments that stop us in our tracks. The moments that take our breath away, make our heart swell, our eyes water and that we beam with pride that in some way we have been a part of another person who makes this world a better place because they are in it. Last week I sat in our high school auditorium with 322 sets of parents who all experienced that moment.

We were all there to celebrate our son’s Senior service projects. After Christmas break, every member of the senior class spends three weeks working full-time with a partnered non-profit. My oldest son, who has already spent over 700 hours in Watts with inner-city children could not possibly fathom what he would get out of this experience, as he already felt that he knew what it was like to serve.

He was wrong. When he was assigned to work with mentally handicapped children and adults, he had no idea what to do. Three days a week he worked with the children on their play yard, in class, fed them blended food with straws and loved it. He found joy and smiles with the kids and a true appreciation for his health and new understanding that joy can be found with the simplest kindness.

However, the other two days he was with mentally handicapped adults who were simply left in a room with no activities, no inter-action, nothing. He and his friends decided they needed to make this experience fun for their “clients” as they were called. So they broke out the karaoke machine and began to sing (which by the way is not his gift). Yet, bad voice and all, his clients loved it! The more these 18-year-old boys sang, the more smiles and joy they gave and received.

So as we all sat in the auditorium hearing a few of these stories from our sons, each of us had that moment of incredible pride at the amazing young men, we had raised. While every boy’s story was different, every message was the same. The more you give, the more you get and a smile goes a long way in making someone’s day better.

Charity Matters.

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What Matters? November 4, 2013

Giving….. to yourself

As Halloween passes and the holidays approach many of us begin to feel overwhelmed this time of year. We have obligations to our families, careers, friends and causes but at the end of the day we only have so much to give. Somedays it feels like no mater how much we give, it’s simply never enough.

Yet, it is enough. We have to start with giving to ourselves before we can give to another. A simple moment of quiet, a run or walk, a call with a dear friend, a sunset or whatever it is that refuels you. As some of you know, one of my guilty pleasures is reading my horoscope., When I saw this it spoke to me and the message is for all of us.

“Saying no to some of our responsibilities and yes to ourselves helps us infuse our lives with a spirit of well-being. Our tendency to take on too much is often a sign that we are ignoring the needs of our bodies, minds, and spirits. When we do this, we begin to feel weighed down by things that are external to us. Taking care of ourselves, however, means that we pay attention to what all elements of our being really need, which frees us up to explore more meaningful ways to live. By putting yourself first today, you will have more energy and desire to get your tasks done.” Daily OM

Put yourself first and know that whatever you give….. is always more than enough.

Charity Matters.

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What Matters? June 26, 2013

Wish Upon a Wedding

“The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough.”

Rabindranath Tagore

June brides, oh the fun and love of a glorious summer wedding! There is truly nothing better than celebrating love with a great June wedding. However, for many people the reality of a wedding day is simply not an option due to unforeseen circumstances such as health, terminal illness or other serious life altering events.

While we have all heard of the Make a Wish Organization that grants wishes for terminally ill children, who has ever heard of Wish Upon a Wedding? A brilliant idea founded in 2010 by Sacha Souza, a wedding coordinator who saw the need to grant these special memories to people who needed them most.

Sacha wanted to create the world’s first wish granting organization that would celebrate the courage, determination and spirit of couples facing hardships by granting their wedding wishes. Wish Upon a Wedding takes care of all the details, once a wish has been granted. These couples get to enjoy their day being surrounded by the love of close family and friends.

Now that is something to celebrate!

Charity Matters.

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Raising Philanthropic Children June 21, 2013

And the survey says….

The other day I read an amazing article in the Chronicle of Philanthropy by Holly Hall. Her article broke down the results from a recent survey done by U.S. Bank, that interviewed seven hundred millionaires and billionaires. The results were shocking and wonderful.

The big shocker was that giving money away to good causes is the most satisfying part of life, for at least half of America’s millionaires and billionaires. It seems that philanthropy ranked as more important than possessions and lifestyle. Wait, this gets even better, the youngest in this category (18-32) ranked philanthropy as the number one thing they most enjoyed. More than half of these young donors said that they learned the value of giving from their families.

The reasons these wealthy donors give does not appear to be any different from any other donor.

About 80 percent cited “creating a positive impact on issues or causes while still alive.”
About 76 percent said “supporting charities has a positive impact on society.”
About 54 percent listed “setting an example for family members.”
About 25 percent cited “the ability to define their legacy.”

The reason I loved this survey so much is that it goes against what the media continues to portray about wealth to our youth. Our teenagers watch the Kardashians and NBA players driving Bentleys and want to be like these stars. When the reality is these young donors are getting more pleasure from sharing than from anything else. Who knew?

It seems that sharing and giving makes us all feel good, rich or poor.

Charity Matters.

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What Matters? May 22, 2013

Charity always matters, especially now

Each week I write about people who change other people’s lives. Regular people with passion and conviction. Today, as I watch the recovery efforts in Oklahoma there are thousands of those people everywhere. No, they haven’t started an official organization but they have organized.

They are neighbors helping neighbors, survivors helping strangers, first responders digging through schools and hospitals that were destroyed by the massive tornado. They are organized.

In a matter of minutes, thousands of lives were forever altered, homes destroyed, a life’s worth of work simply wiped away with the wind. Yet, when you hear the people of Moore, Oklahoma speak, they are resilient, they are caring for one another and they are determined to begin again.

The definition of charity is an organization set up to provide help, volunteering and giving of help and lastly, kindness and tolerance. All of these matter, now Moore than ever.

Charity Matters.

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What Matters? May 20, 2013

Looking at the man in the mirror

Ok, I’m looking at the woman in the mirror and having a moment. No, it’s not about how I look, but rather the reflection of my life and my work. Volunteer work that is. Maybe its the pending birthday that has me connecting the dots. The epiphany is that wherever I am in my life is a reflection of where I give my time. As my life changes and priorities shift, so do my causes.

I suppose most of you already figured this out but when I look back it all sort of starts to make sense. I began volunteering in 6th for the local boys and girls club and I was the same age as the kids in the program. What I had to offer then, I’m not really sure but I volunteered hundreds of hours all through middle school.

By high school, I was volunteering at a local thrift shop. Now that I think about it, shopping was pretty high on the list back then. By college, I worked with my sorority volunteering for a variety of projects involving education, as I struggled to focus on my own.

The early years of my career in sales and marketing brought a lot of travel and sadly little giving of time but more resources. Those were the days…. double incomes, no kids.

Once my sons arrived and the career took a back seat, I found a drive to help build a local children’s’ museum, which focused on children….surprise as the same age as mine. My parents car accident, mother’s death and father’s time in a coma lead me to hospitals and the need one has for faith in the face of adversity. The result was a collaborative effort and the formation of the non-profit, Spiritual Care Guild at Childrens Hospital Los Angeles.

A decade of working to provide Chaplains, that care for young families and children, while leaving my own family, felt odd but weirdly right. Which brings me back to the mirror and this moment. I just returned home from board meetings for two amazing high schools (neither which my children attend). The light bulb went off, while my work at these schools does not help my children, it serves children the same ages as my own. Once again a perfect reflection of where I am in my life.

It makes me wonder, what causes are next? I know I’m not ready to help the elderly just yet. Wondering what does your mirror say about you?

Charity Matters.

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What Matters? February 24, 2012

Motion Picture and Television Fund

Since I live in a “company town” called Los Angeles, this weekend everyone is a buzz with the Academy Awards. With this years films (The Artist and Hugo) telling the story of film making, it seemed only fitting to tell the story of the non-profit that started 90 years ago with the advent of silent films.

The Motion Picture & Television Fund began with a simple coin box in Hollywood where industry workers would deposit spare change for their fellow colleagues. Right from the start, their mission was “We Take Care of Our Own.”

Industry legends as Charlie Chaplin, Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks realized the need for reaching out to those in the entertainment industry who fell upon hard times. In 1921, the Motion Picture Relief Fund (MPRF) was incorporated to provide help to those in the motion picture industry who were in need.

An acting couple ( a character actor and his chorus girl wife ) were the first recipients of this new organization. The husband became partially paralyzed and was unable to work. MPRF paid their $40 hotel bill, arranged rent, and helped to find work.

The advent of talkies in the late twenties brought many changes to the film industry. While talkies launched many new careers, hundreds of actors, directors and writers who had not foreseen the change to the industry or their livelihood, became unemployed. MPRF came to their aid.

As more requests for assistance were made, celebrity-packed benefits were held to raise the needed funds. What started out as the Motion Picture Relief Fund has today developed into a comprehensive service organization which operates six outpatient health centers throughout the greater Los Angeles area; a children’s center; a retirement community, health plans and much, much more.

The Motion Picture & Television Fund mission remains the same today as it did during the advent of film, to protect and preserve the health and quality of life of those who devote so much of their lives to a career in the entertainment industry.

So for all of those who have entertained us both in front and behind the cameras. Thank you. The magic of film making and the magic of caring for one another simply never grows old. Charity Matters.

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What Matters? September 7, 2011

911

Its hard to believe that 10 years has gone by since that fateful September day that is embedded deeply into our minds and our nation’s history. Each of us knows exactly where we were at that moment in time as we witnessed images still almost impossible to process a decade later.

Yet out of all the loss and tragedy a new hope and promise has emerged as our nation comes together for this anniversary. There is a movement underway way by 911day.org to reach out to all asking for a international day of service in remembrance.

Take a small moment to pledge a prayer, an act of kindness or just to look at all the love and beauty in our world which is so often overlooked. We may have lost 3,000 bright lights that September morning but their goodness shines down upon us as a beacon of hope.

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What will you do?

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