“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”
Eckhart Tolle
As we all begin to prepare for Thanksgiving, it seems like an appropriate time to think of all we have to be grateful for.
It is so easy to think of all we have to do, but perhaps for just moment we can reflect upon all the blessings we have.
When my sons were younger we did “Thankful Thursday” every Thursday night at our dinner table. The boys would roll their eyes and then share whatever they were thankful for from “no homework” to “everyone at our table.” As the years went by, it became clear that this lesson in practicing gratitude was a gift.
Today, our college age sons reference their gratitude frequently. Now it comes in the form of a family text thread, the most recent from my 21-year-old “be thankful that we are all healthy and alive”
Once upon a time I dreamed of living in a big beautiful house on top of a hill, driving a beautiful old car and having four boys…..and all of those dreams became a reality. As a little girl I did dream those dreams and as an adult they all came true, with the exception of having 3 boys…. but sometimes my husband does counts as a fourth…just sayin!
Last year, when we moved from the house up on the hill for all to see, to a house down a very steep hill for no one to see, my wise friend Wendy said,” Your old house was all about the outside and this house is all about the inside.” A comment I have chewed on over and over since she said it.
The other day I wrote about living an external life vs. an internal one. As I reflect, it really is no different from living in that house on the hill. We bought that house because we fell in love with it, it was falling down in disrepair, it needed us and it was across the street from one of the most beautiful parks in Southern California….and with three little boys at the time…it was heaven on earth…not about being “seen.”
And yet, I would be lying if I didn’t admit to being house proud. Zillions of hours gardening, painting, fixing, moving rocks, and in general loving that house. I did want everyone to see our masterpiece and our home. We didn’t do all that work for people driving by, we did it for ourselves and for our family. If I had it to again I would not change a thing.
As I reflect on my new home hidden from the world, from the street and from all who try to find it. I reflect on Wendy’s words. This house and this time in my life is about reflecting inward and not about what is seen from the outside.
So, while the thousands of influencers try to fight for your attention and impress you externally, I will sit in my glass house alone in the canyon and hope that these thoughts from within resonate…from my insides to yours.
I recently watched a segment on 60 Minutes about “influencers.” Yes, Kim Kardashian and a host of other people I have never heard of all trying to gain favor amongst advertisers for surprise…guess what….our attention…which of course equates to dollars. I get it, I do.
I don’t write for myself, well kind of, I do… but truth be told I write to inspire people to want to help others. Sounds crazy I know…but the more people who are inspired the more that are helped..it is just that simple. So, in watching the 60 Minutes piece, I probably should have been inspired myself but somehow I felt the exact opposite. The reason being, is influencing others from their vantage point, does not feel authentic, but rather feels sad.
Of course people want to be entertained, they want to watch others glamorous lives, none of this is new. Yet, the need to win over others for something external, is where I am having an internal struggle. How can I judge the Kim Kardashians of the world, when in reality the more people I “influence” the more people I help. That makes me as much a part of this ugly system as the people featured on the show….and for whatever crazy reason, I am having a hard time with that.
No, I am not better or worse than the Kardashians, the youtube makeup artist, the international sensation who does the splits around the globe or a funny guy who cranks out 6 second Vine videos…each person brings their own talent to the world and each of us vie for the same thing…attention. Honestly, a painful truth to admit.
I must confess, for me, it’s not about your “eyeballs” it’s about your heart and your soul. If one person is inspired to do a kind thing for another because of what they have read here…well then my heart is full and my job is done….influencer or not…that is the real deal.
“The most important political office is that of the private citizen.”
Louis Brandeis
I know that today is an incredibly important day. It will hopefully be a day to remember and celebrate. It is a day that each of us need to exercise our freedom and come together.
I have cast my vote and am proud that I live in a country where each person has the privilege to do so.
So, while our country glues themselves to hear the outcome of today’s election, I will be celebrating another historic moment…my husband’s 50th birthday.
A day to remember for sure, and a day to celebrate life, love and liberty.
This past weekend, I had the rare itch to clean out some old files and office clutter. In the process, I discovered a notebook from 2012 where I journaled about a television show called Charity Matters. A show that would tell the stories of amazing and inspiring people who change our world through their service to others. I found a dream that had been filed away, literally.
Truth be told, I did forget about the notebook but not the dream. When Charity Matters began, it did begin as a dream….one that woke me up in the middle of the night, it was so real. I was so awakened that I grabbed my journal and wrote this vision down.
In the weeks that followed, I researched writing television shows. I reached out to friends in the industry on how to register an idea and a tv show with the writers guild…all of which I actually did. Then I thought, what am I doing? I don’t have the first clue how to actually do this. Then again, I didn’t know how to start a non-profit either and figured that out….. but somehow this seemed a dream a bit too big.
So, that is when the dream was altered, scaled back to become this blog. Something else, I also didn’t have the first clue about, but like most everything, I just did it. As I sit here hundreds of posts and followers later, it still seems like a dream. The incredible people I have met, interviewed, been inspired by and all of you…who constantly cheer me on along the way.
As I look at this dusty notebook, it feels like it might be time to dust off the dream again. Why not? Filing dreams away doesn’t keep them alive, dreams are meant to inspire, motivate and energize us. If there is one things that makes me happy it is all of the above….so here is to dreaming big!
Don’t you love it when your worlds collide? As many of you know I have been a passionate supporter at an all boys school in Watts, called Verbum Dei, also referred to as “The Verb.” The Verb is a school where young men come from poverty, are given a white-collar job one day a week and attend school the remaining four days. One hundred percent of these amazing young men are accepted to four-year colleges.
Another school, that I am a passionate supporter of is Texas Christian University, also known as TCU. A school that has incredible connection culture and a spirit of kindness. The other day, it was brought to my attention that one of our Verb boys is at TCU playing football as a Quarter back, his name is Caylin Moore.
Caylin was raised in poverty by a loving single mother. He went to Verbum Dei High School, where he was a star student and athlete. This past week he was recognized for his community service work as the founder of SPARK, which stands for Strong Players Are Reaching Kids. A TCU Student organization whose mission is to, “Inspire the youth to rise above their circumstances, build bridges to success and ultimately spark a change in their communities.”
Caylin and his fellow TCU athletes are traveling around the Fort Worth community inspiring children to reach for their dreams, regardless of where they are starting. Caylin uses his own story to encourage others. As he said, “I’ve seen how important education is and how it can change a life.”
One amazing young man and two incredible institutions collide to create a SPARK of goodness for so many.
Have you ever heard a speaker who left you thinking? Really thinking? Two weeks ago, I attended an event down at USC that left me deep in thought. The talk was given by a local priest who had worked with Mother Teresa years ago in Calcutta, when he was on a year’s sabbatical. The Monsignor spoke about being lost and shared his journey of self discovery during his time in India serving the poor.
He spoke about feeling, ” so alive and on fire” about his time there and the work he was doing with the poor, the sick and the dying. This feeling had him, at times, contemplating staying permanently in India. The priest shared this idea with Mother Teresa, who told him to, “Go home.” The priest in turn told each of us,” that we must all findour own Calcutta and that love is a decision.”
As fall kicks into gear and we all begin to settle into our new school year routines, one thing that I always look forward to is watching my boys participate in sports. There is nothing more fun that sitting with a group of parents who are all cheering their children on.
A few weeks ago, I sat down for lunch with an amazing woman and non-profit founder, named Clare Gurbach. Clare has two daughters that are college athletes and her youngest daughter seems to be following in the family footsteps. We talked about our children, sports and the moment that all of those came together to inspire Clare to help so many children keep playing sports.
Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start your non-profit?
Clare: “In 2007, I was watching our oldest daughter play volleyball and seeing the disparity in resources between our team and one we were playing. The other team did not have nice uniforms. Some of the girls had masking tape on the back of their shirts for their numbers. Many did not have knee pads or proper shoes. Our team had everything and a professional coach as well. Winning that game 25-2 was not a good outcome for anyone.
We were called to action to “level the playing field” in providing uniforms, sports equipment and resources for under-resourced Catholic schools in the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. We named our non-profit The Saint Sebastian Sports Project after the patron saint of athletes.”
CM: What fuels you to keep doing this work?
“Seeing the huge impact we are having as we have grown. We know that sports help children in so many ways. Beyond the obvious physical benefits of playing sports, children also learn sportsmanship, commitment, and leadership and have fun at the same time. Our students must maintain a minimum GPA to play on their teams so they are incentivized to work hard in school.”
CM: When do you know you have made a difference?
“When we see the smiles on the faces of all the children we serve. When we visit the students at school and bring the schools’ funds and equipment to support their sports programs. When students attend our various tournaments, camps and college visit days at USC and LMU. Many of our students are now trying out for their high school teams that never would have had this opportunity in the past.”
Tell us what your impact been?
“During the 2009-2010 academic year, we were able to support seven sports programs. This academic school year we will assist 39 schools with grants and will serve at least 2,500 students this year.
There are 100 schools in Archdiocese of Los Angeles that need funding. We hope to find more foundation money and person donations to fuel additional growth in the future.”
When actor Gene Wilder passed away a few weeks back, I was reminded of his beautiful love affair with Gilda Radner and their subsequent involvement in cancer support. Wilder’s death coincided with a lunch catch up with a friend, who works for the organization that helped Gilda Radner through her battle with ovarian cancer, Cancer Support Community.
As I caught up with my friend, Meg Symes of Cancer Support Community, she told me her own story of watching her mother go through cancer in the 70s without the support, community or a place to go where it was “socially acceptable to have cancer.” When cancer struck Meg decades later, she was blessed to have the resources her mother did not. When the opportunity presented itself to be a part of supporting those with cancer Meg was all in.
Meg explained that Cancer Support Community was founded in 1982 by Dr. Harold Benjamin to provide free support, cancer education and hope. “So no one needs to face cancer alone,” patients and their families learn skills to enable them to regain control and restore hope. Patients and families can attend workshops, classes, yoga and come to a safe warm welcoming place that feels like home and gives the support needed to take on cancer.
In the Pasadena chapter alone, Cancer Support Community serves over 1,100 people a year, all free of charge. Today, Dr. Benjamin’s concept of providing support, education and hope for people with cancer has expanded to over 100 locations worldwide. Regardless if you were Gilda Radner, who attended the Santa Monica location or in Tokyo or someone here in Pasadena, because of people like Meg and thousands of donors and volunteers…..no one has to face cancer alone.
Every once in a while a story comes across my path that touches my soul and melts my heart. This story is exactly that. The story of a homeless man in Brazil, named Raimundo Sobrinho, who dreamed of becoming a poet. Yet, for thirty-five years he was faceless, nameless and one of thousands of homeless, that was passed by everyday.
Yet, in 2011 a woman named Shalla Monteiro, befriended him and his life was forever changed.
A beautiful story and reminder to us all that everyone we pass belongs to someone, has a story, a dream and a purpose.
Last week I was privileged to speak at the launch of the USC’s Women in Leadership Society at the Annenberg School for Communication, my alma mater. An amazing organization founded by Professor Christopher Smith to provide support, build self-confidence, build community and connect young female undergraduates who are at the intersection of tech, media and entertainment. So what could I possibly say to these young women?
First, I remembered what a challenging time USC was for me, my parents had gone bankrupt and I was putting myself through school. I had boyfriend problems, was trying to figure out my path and the basic challenges of having fun, growing up and juggling it all that all young co-eds face.
I wanted these young women to know that we all go through this. More importantly, I wanted them to have a bigger goal and keep their eye on the prize. So often, the vision is short-sighted and they can only focus on the internship, the A, the diploma or the job. I want them to focus on living a life full of purpose, where you are using your gifts to the greatest ability.
While leadership is a tool that helps you on the path to acquiring all of the above, isn’t the real goal of leadership simply one life inspiring another? I shared my favorite leadership quote by Woodrow Wilson who said, “You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand.”
Because Leadership is at its essence….one life simply inspiring another and after all, isn’t that is the purpose?
It is that time of year again, the house that was once full of noise and chaos begins to empty out as the kids pack up and head back to school, in our case off to college. Something I’m not sure I will ever really get used too. Last year when we went from one going to two, it nearly took me down.
People like to ask, “Have you worked through it all?” Or “Once they leave it will be easier, you’ll be on the other side of it.” What does that mean, “the other side?” Maybe, I’m an exception here…and by all means, feel free to tell me if I am. I don’t think loss, grief, sadness is something that you “just get through.”
It is not like a marathon with a finish line and once you have run your race, there is a solid line to cross that signals the end and you cross under “the other side” banner. Rather, it feels more like walking with a heavy bag of stones and each day you can drop one and eventually the bag is lighter but somehow it doesn’t seem to ever leave, just get lighter.
Of course, there are a million moments of joy, fun, laughs, and life in between. But those moments when you are alone and begin to think….you realize that the bag is still there. For me, that is what loss has felt like. The loss of my mom and the loss of my children leaving the nest.
It is life, it is a part of the journey but I’m really not so sure about this other side…but I promise to let you know when I get there.
I suppose when you pose such huge questions to the universe, as I did on Monday with, “Where is the love?” The universe begins to send answers, and of course, you begin to see answers everywhere. So as we end the week, I thought this was the perfect story to share. If you have seen it once, it is more than worth seeing again.
It is the story of a man who received an organ transplant, more specifically a heart transplant and if ever there was an answer to the question, where is the love? It is here…
Two strangers connected by a heart and there is the love.
