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The Distribution of Love

This past week regardless of where we live we watched some of the most devastating fires sweep across LA and my home town of Pasadena and the surrounding communities. We were evacuated from the fires along with tens of thousands of people. We are the lucky ones because we are safe and our home is fine. Thank you to everyone who reached out. It was scary and surreal. Living in a canyon, fire is no stranger, but this was other worldly.  At least 10 of our friends and counting have literally lost everything with thousands and thousands more impacted. We are all in shock, devastated, depressed and the sadness hangs like the smoke.  The carnage is truly unimaginable.

The loss of every possession you own is beyond devastating but it is the loss of place that is worse. The place where your child took their first step. The place where you celebrated  birthday parties and back yard barbecues. The place where you lay your head at night is your place in this world. Your home is the place where your life existed and now there is no place. In Altadena and in the Palisades, not only are the homes gone but so are the churches, the schools, the markets and all of the places that create a community. All of it is rubble. Where is their place? It is the one thing our friends really need and the one thing we can not provide, their place. It is simply too much to comprehend.

What just happened was a death. The most unimaginable loss and as in most deaths, everyone you have ever known shows up in the first two weeks. There is more food, calls, and text than you can process. It is overwhelming the outpouring of love you receive when someone dies is overload. This is what is happening to all who have lost everything. They are in shock and our community is a hub of activity because there is a loss and people want to help.

We all feel better when we help but sometimes we do not think about the person who is receiving it. Do they need another casserole? Do they need clothes that I was going to give away or perhaps would they like to go and buy their own pair of socks? Oftentimes give without thinking about the recipient. We want to distribute our love and fill their closets but they don’t have a closet, just yet.

My life prior to nonprofits was in the software business, more specifically distribution. My job was to make sure that the software was sold into the distributors, who would then sell it to the stores and the consumer would buy it. Nonprofits work much the same way when you think about it. We are distributors of good, not necessarily goods. The nonprofit makes sure the consumer gets the product that they need. An important role for sure.

In a time of tragedy there is a time and place for many nonprofits to step in and help. However, if we can go directly to our families rather than through distribution, in this situation, I think it is more impactful. These families need cash and gift cards plain and simple. They will still need to pay their mortgage and find a place to live and pay rent. There will be a gap before insurance payments can be processed. Families will need socks, toiletries that they want to pick out because they like their shampoo and they will need money to do that.

For the first time, I am urging people to go direct to a Go Fund Me if you can. If you know someone who knows someone think about supporting these families directly. If you don’t and want to reach out I am happy to direct you to a few. Realize that like a death, the grief process is long and slow and everyone will need support more than just in the first two weeks. Support is sometimes a call, a text, a walk, a dinner invitation in your home.

While the casserole is lovely, it is when the silence sets in, in these coming months and years ahead that the need will be the greatest. Yes, give now and jump in but please, please do not forget these people the way we have forgotten about those in Maui and North Carolina. We need to continue walking with our own communities for the long haul because that is the journey ahead.

So many have asked for local resources to give and I wanted to share a few here. Please do not hesitate to reach out if I can direct you to a family in need or a school that is trying to support their students. Loyola High School at current count has 100 students without homes. Mayfield Jr. School has 21 families and Mayfield Senior has a large number of families who lost everything and these are just a few communities trying to support their own.

Nonprofits to support the LA/Altadena WildFires:

LA Regional Food Bank– The Food Bank is distributing food to many of the nonprofits on the ground and families in need. I have also set up a fundraiser for the LA Food Bank on the Charity Matters Instagram Account @CharityMatters or please go direct.

Baby2Baby–  This wonderful nonprofit is assisting with diapers, formula and all things families and children need when all is gone. They do amazing work and so far have distributed over 1.5 million emergency supplies to children impacted by the fires.

World Central Kitchen– I have seen Chef Jose Andres at the Pasadena Convention Center feeding fire fighters and people who are evacuated there. When there is a catastrophe anywhere in the world he is there to feed people and support. Chef Andres just recently received the Presidential Medal of Freedom, a well deserved recognition.

California Fire Foundation– The Cal Fire Foundation supports firefighters, their families and the communities effected by fire. They are currently distributing $250 gift cards to families that lost everything.

Pasadena Humane Society– We had over 350 animals arrive the first night to the Pasadena Humane Society with burned paws and singed all over from fire. They need donations and have been overwhelmed with volunteers. The Humane Society is also looking for families to take in animals and foster them until their parents are found or in a place that allows pets.

Thank you all for the outpouring of love for our community. While this has been the worst of times, it has also been the best of times. Each act of kindness shows us the best of humanity. People are good, generous and kind. We are so grateful for all of the love you are sending our way to distribute.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

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The Choice and Power of Connection

As 2024 ended and the madness of the holidays ensued, a few great things happened that had me thinking about the power of connection. As a result, connection is my word for 2025. I was reflecting back on 2024 and realized that much of last year was spent in isolation. Writing is such an incredible journey but it is also a lonely one. In 2024, I spent seven months writing Change for Good: The Transformative Power of Giving as the Ultimate Cure. While I wasn’t alone on an island, it often felt like I was. It was a choice.

When we set off to achieve goals, we take time from one place to add it to another. We make choices. The goal was to write a bestselling book, by putting all of these stories in one place, inspiring others to serve. The choice last year was to write every night. The result was a bestselling book and trust me I have no regrets. The consequence of that choice was less time with those I love in real connection. We all make choices with our goals but sometimes those choices have unforeseen consequences. This year the choice is for real connection.

Years ago my husband and I were on a cruise and an announcement came over the loud speaker announcing the days’ activities in a crisp British accent. The percer said, “Are you connected but not connected? Join us for today’s conversation about how to be more connected.” We did not attend the workshop but spent much of our time in the proceeding days looking at couples staring at their phones and not into each others eyes and deciding that they were CBNC-Connected but Not connected. Something we still observe years later.

This past year I was CBNC. I was connected to hundreds of people with schools I work with, nonprofit founders interviewed, my writers group but all via zoom. Most of my days were spent on back to back zooms and my in person meetings dwindled with the convenience and of course LA traffic. That was a choice, to make life easier and save time and not to meet in person. The consequence of that choice was a lack of real connection. Connected but not connected.

To be my own devils advocate, I also made some incredible new connections because of Zoom, LinkedIn and mutual friends that were amazing. I had a lovely group of women from Connecticut called The Good News Girls reach out and ask me to speak about the book. The founders, Susan and Mimi shown above, are two remarkable women who have created a community both online and in person where they are having important monthly conversations about community, connection and making a difference. They have found the sweet spot of both technology and in person. These amazing women really got me thinking about the power of connection and what they are building should be replicated and or expanded, it is fantastic!

A week before the holidays, I was scrolling and came upon a site called You are a Philanthropist. I was instantly intrigued and so I reached out via instagram direct message, something I never do! As a result, the amazing Jenn Klein and I connected and had a lovely conversation. Spoiler alert: You will get to know her in an upcoming interview. I made a new connection with a kindred spirit simply by reaching out.

The week after Christmas, I came across a post on LinkedIn where Jay Frost, a highly regarded rock star in the philanthropic world, was asking about who has written the next great book on giving? To my shock, my name and book were listed and recommended by none other than my new friend, Jenn Klein. The next thing I new I was having a conversation with the delightful and charming Jay Frost. The power connection.

The knife cuts both ways. We can create connection when we reach out. Technology is not always the enemy. The trick is navigating the balance. That is my challenge to myself in 2025. To create authentic connections like I did with Jenn and then find a way to use those authentic and real connections to connect in person. Or to try and find a balance when the zoom schedule is overloaded to meet up with friends.

While I don’t have the answer, I do know that this year I am reaching out and setting up in person dinners, coffees, visits with those that fill my cup, make me laugh and inspire me to be a better person. The choice is real. The power of connection is what creates community. Strong connections create strong communities. Strong communities create strong cities, states and countries. It all starts with us, our choices and the power of connection.

 

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

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New Years is a time for change

Happy New Year! This is one of my favorite times of year. The pace of life slows to a crawl as we all recover from the holidays. We take a moment to just be and we begin to reflect on the year behind us and the one ahead. It is this magical place in time that does not rush. While the days are darker and shorter they are not hurried, they are slower. Which is exactly what we need as  we walk the bridge between past, present and future.

In order to move our lives ahead, we must take some time to look in the rear view mirror and see what we accomplished in 2024. What did you love about last year? What were those moments that brought you the most joy and why? Where did you go and who did you meet that made your heart full?  So often we are rushing through each day checking off our list that we miss those moments of joy right in front of us. Did you miss any or did you catch them all?

My husband says that I talk about death a little too often. If death has ever knocked at your door or someone you love you realize how short and precious our lives are. We have so little time to do what we really want to do on this earth. My philosophy is that we need to reverse engineer our lives, work from our funeral backwards. No, this isn’t morbid, hear me out. At our funeral what do we want people to talk about? How rich we were? How thin we were? NO, we want people to talk about how we lived and how we loved. We want to be remembered for how we treated others and made them feel. How we brought joy and kindness to each place we entered. Why? Because these are the things that truly matter.

As we take a moment to think about what we want this New Year to look like, let’s think about what matters to us most. How are we spending our time and with who? Do we adore our family and our aging parents, then let’s schedule those trips. My sister and I have decided to take our dad on monthly field trips this year. It could be just to a museum or to visit an old friend. We have made time with my dad and making those memories our priority. What are your priorities and who?

It is so easy to make a list of New Year’s resolutions but this year lets go a little deeper. Think about this day in 2026 and what do you want to see in your rearview mirror? What will you be thrilled that you accomplished? The real question to ask yourself is how do I want to define my year?

We all have a love and hate relationship with change. We love change once it’s behind us and we fear any change that is ahead. So start looking back and dream and what you want to see. Then look ahead and get that calendar out and mark those dates. Those are the gifts you give yourself. You deserve them.

Let’s not focus on being thinner or richer this year, instead let’s focus on how we can change for good. We all have the power to change our lives and others for the better. This year seems like a great time to start doing that. Cheers to you and all the good ahead. Happy New Year!

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2024 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

 

We Wish You a Merry Christmas

May Peace “be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through!”

 Author Unknown

So many gifts have come this year. New friends, moments of joy and celebration, new creations and a renewed sense of purpose. Each of you continues to be a gift of goodness as we work together to create change for good. This year year my gift for you this year is this sweet poem from Kay Hoffman:

The gifts I’d leave beneath your tree,
Aren’t those that you can touch or see,
No toys meant just for pointless play,
But gifts to bless you every day.

The gift of friendship is warm and true,
Is one that I would leave for you.
Good health and happiness and cheer
To keep you smiling through the year.

The gift of peace that comes from God,
With a prayer to guide each path you trod.
And when your heart has lost its song
The gift of hope to cheer you on.
These are the gifts I’d leave for you.

So may we, too, remember with thankful hearts the love that comes with each present we open and cherish the time with those that we love. Wishing you all the very merriest Christmas!

Charity Matters.

 

 

Copyright © 2024 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Episode 81: Pave the Way

We have all heard of cause marketing. You know brands like Tom’s Shoes where you buy one pair and another pair goes to someone in need. Before such a thing even existed there was today’s guest, Joan Hornig. She didn’t believe in “using” kindness to sell something she believes that philanthropy is beautiful. So much so that she left her successful job in corporate finance to make a significant difference in the world and give it all away. She does that through her Foundation and business called Pave the Way.  A for profit business that gives one hundred percent of profits to nonprofits.

I was lucky to meet Joan in person last week in NYC and give this dynamic human a big hug. She is even more amazing in person! Our conversation  was beyond inspiring and to use Joan’s words it was a conversation of consequence. One I am thrilled to share. So please join us and you can hear for yourself why  Joan is beyond the real deal and you don’t need to see her  but simply hear her heart to know just how special she is.

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Pave the Way Foundation and Pave the Way Jewelry  does?

Joan Hornig:  Pave the Way Jewelry and my foundation are really built on a concept called social enterprise, which I was very instrumental in actually creating almost 25 years ago. The idea behind that was it wasn’t just talk about doing good, what it really was about was making a seismic difference.

  I felt that women did a tremendous amount of volunteer work in the world. They devalued their time in part, although it was very valuable, but they didn’t put a dollar price on it. Nothing could be more valuable than a woman’s time and her time spent talking about what she cares about.  So I thought when someone would see a piece of jewelry on someone and they complimented that person wearing the jewelry. ” I liked your earrings.” That person could say, “Thank you. Do you know this supports children with autism?” And then the story would unfold that they were essentially advertising with their dollars what their values were, and they were having a conversation of consequence.

So to call it social enterprise is different. I ask every single person, when she or he makes a purchase or they make a purchase, what charity they want me to donate to in their honor? Then I donate 100% of my profit on that piece sold to the charity of the purchaser’s choice.

 I’m empowering them to have a conversation of consequence, to understand that they have money to use, and that when they walk out they are a billboard advertising who they are and who they care about. 

Charity Matters: Where did your philanthropy begin? 

Joan Hornig:  I grew up in a suburb of Cleveland, to parents  who didn’t have a tremendous amount of means. There were some hard times, and nonprofits stepped in some time. What my parents taught me was that what you’re worth is not what you have in the bank, but what you’re worth is what you do tomorrow.  I never felt less than when the other kids went off to camp. I felt that I could do anything with my time and that I could make a difference.

 I spent a lot of time in museums, because my mother said, “You shop with your eyes and you take home as much as you can.” I listen to music. “You you shop with your ears, you take it home.” But when other kids were going to camp, I decided to be a candy striper because we  couldn’t go to camp. So I went to downtown Cleveland and I was teaching inner city kids how to read.

One of the kids said to me, “You know, I get food when I come here. We don’t have enough food at home.” And I was 14 years old.  And I said, “Really?” So  I decided I would put on my candy striper uniform, and I spent months going door to door in neighborhoods, raising money. I was able to raise enough money for 80 families to have  a complete Thanksgiving dinner. I think that was the beginning.

“Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start Pave the Way?

Joan Hornig: I was 20 years old, I was walking down the aisle getting married. I made two promises to myself. One was that I was going to be George’s wife and be the best I could be. And two, because of the privilege I had through my education and I knew I was going to have a big life, I promised myself that by the time I was 50, I was going to give back everything, 100% so, that is where it really began.

I would say that 911 was an important factor, and that is because I watched from my apartment the Trade Towers go down. I  wanted to do something that was one step better than combining Paul Newman with Paul in the wall and Oprah. What I wanted to do was create the jewelry. Pay people fairly, put them to work, grow their business. But say to you when you buy something of mine,” What charity do you want me to donate to in your honor?” And from day one, I have donated 100% of my profit on each piece sold to the charity of the purchaser’s choice. 

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Joan Hornig:  I think that one of the biggest challenges was actually getting people to take me seriously. If you are doing anything associated with what is traditionally a man’s job people take you seriously. When you switch to something that might be fashion or jewelry, they think that what you’re doing isn’t necessarily important.  

This it’s not just about selling the jewelry. I have to design it. I have to make it. It’s not vertically integrated, right? To check it, I have to hire people, right? We have to do the accounting, we have to do the bookkeeping. And from day one, I decided that every single charity that I would donate to would be located in a place where other people could learn about it. So if you go to my site right click on all the different charities that I’ve given to local and national there are over 1000 and where you can leave my site and learn about those charities. So the challenge was people would say to me,” You’re not busy anymore.” I’d say I’m busier than I ever was. I’m working seven days a week. I said, “You’re not understanding.” So that was actually a challenge.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Joan Hornig: Those moments really are the people I meet in the nonprofit sector. Those are the people. What they do is so extraordinary. It fuels me when I get invited into a food pantry and I see people who do service are so extraordinary. I don’t hold a candle to them and they are the people who are so inspiring.  They’re all over the world.  I know what they’re doing, and I know that it’s harder than what most people do.  

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Joan Hornig: I measure impact several ways. One is if somebody hears the story of what I do and they tell somebody else, that’s impact.  All of a sudden, we started a conversation of consequence. I measure it when people say I’m going to give 5% or 10% on the business. Everyone cannot afford to give 100% right?  I’ve had an education and a great life but I don’t diminish any or anything anybody gives.

I do speaking tours sometimes, I was in Nashville, and a gentleman had sold his company. He was starting another one, and he decided he was going to follow my model, that’s impact. That’s a huge impact.  The impact is if someone who listens to this says, “I can do something.” Impact is defined in a context that matters, that is only relevant to what someone can do. When we have a community of people who use their muscle memory of giving and caring to pay it forward and inspire others. That’s impact.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Joan Hornig:  My dream has always been to collaborate. I like the idea of licensing fees that go to charity. I would love a fragrance company to come to me to collaborate to create a perfume. Can you imagine having something that’s called philanthropy lingers?

Most of all, what I want is institutions, retailers and everyone who sells my jewelry to understand that they should take the time to ask what their customers care about. Not tell them to care about something. That’s my dream. It is really about asking, because we learn a lot from other people when we listen.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Joan Hornig: I learned that everyone is interesting and worth my time. That your time is more valuable to you than my time is to you, and that I have to use it wisely. Actually, I feel we’re on the same team. If I respect what you care about and respect your efforts, we’re on the same team. You can feel it. 

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Joan Hornig:  I think that I am a more confident person because I’ve taken risks. I think that one of the things that I’ve learned is if something doesn’t work out, I can handle that risk of disappointment.  The way I make promises to myself and keep them, like the way I did when I was 20, and I walked the aisle and made those two promises. I keep all the things that I made that weren’t right, that didn’t work out. Then I go back to them a number of years later, and I learned that I can fix it. So I learned that sometimes you acquire  knowledge without even knowing it. 

What I want everyone to do is find themselves in a situation where they give one extra thing to someone that they don’t expect to give something to. That would be the way to find me in spirit this holiday season. I love to do one thing that takes a little extra effort that helps someone else.

 I really want people to understand how blessed we are. So many people can benefit, especially people we don’t know.  They’re not obligated, except to hopefully pay it forward in the future when they’re on their feet. So I believe in a hand up, not a handout.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2024 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Thankful

 

Today is the day that we take time to be thankful. This year, this day and this moment I am grateful for many things, my guess is for many of the same things you are;  health, family, friends and for all the amazing nonprofit founders who continue to inspire and teach so many invaluable life lessons.

This year has been a challenging one for me personally. Yet, every time I have a conversation with one of these inspiring founders its as if someone hit a reset button for me that leads me to gratitude. Each founder has sacrificed their life to make others lives better. Every one them remind us all what really matters and just how much we have to be grateful for each and every day.

Giving birth to Change for Good has been an unbelievable journey and one that has literally just begun. Not even two months in and the book contunues to make bestseller on Amazon. I’m heading to New york for the East Coast launch and next week is the Season 8 premiere of the Charity Matters Podcast. So much to be grateful for! I think what has lifted me more than anything is the reaction to the book. When people text or share that the book was a “game changer and reminded them what matters.”  Those are moments that make all of this worth it.

 

So  today, my wish for you is that you can find those moments with the ones you love. I am grateful to each person who has come into my life and for all of the lessons they have taught.  Most of all, I am grateful to each of you who continue to inspire, teach and motivate on this journey. To each and all of you, I wish you and your families a very joyous and Happy Thanksgiving!

 

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

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Copyright © 2024 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Finding Gratitude not just in November

There is no joy without gratitude. The two go hand in hand, and you simply cannot have one without the other. In a moment of joy, you are full of gratitude for the gifts you have been given. Watching a child being born, experiencing nature, being with someone you love or playing with your dog—each of those treasured moments is an experience of gratitude when you make the choice to appreciate the moment.

Gratitude is more than just a simple “thank you.” It’s a powerful force that can transform our lives in profound ways. Gratitude is a critical part of our growth, our healing and evolution. The process of knowing that you have enough and being grateful for every precious breath, bite of food, night of safety, moment with a loved one and appreciation for the gifts we have transforms our lives in powerful and profound ways. No matter how little we have, there is always room to find something, even breathing, to be grateful for.

In the past twelve years of interviewing nonprofit founders, I have discovered some common themes in these amazing humans. These superheroes share more than a few traits that make them successful, purposeful and joyful. The number one trait is gratitude. I would say that most of the people I’ve interviewed have experienced some sort of loss in their lives that triggered them to act to serve others. Through their healing,they find a renewed purpose and gratitude for being alive. The other ten to twenty percent of nonprofit founders had either a close call in life or such a profound sense of gratitude that they knew that they somehow needed to pay it forward. Gratitude is a force that propels us forward, like rocket fuel, it can boost and change our lives in profound ways.

For some reason we seem to think gratitude is as seasonal as pumpkin spiced lattes. Gratitude should be something we practice all year not just in the month of November. Here are a few ways to start your gratitude practice and to ensure it goes all year long.

Keep a Gratitude Journal

One of the most effective ways to cultivate gratitude is to keep a gratitude journal. Each day, take a few minutes to write down three things you are thankful for. These can be big or small. Over time, you’ll find that focusing on these positive experiences can help shift your mindset and make you more aware of the good things in your life.

Express Gratitude to Others

Take time to express your gratitude to the people in your life. This can be as simple as saying “thank you.” Letting others know that you are grateful for their kindness and support can strengthen your relationships and create a positive ripple effect.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness involves paying attention to the present moment without judgment. When you practice mindfulness, you can become more aware of the things you are grateful for. Take a few moments each day to pause and reflect on the positive aspects of your life. This can help you cultivate a greater sense of gratitude and appreciation.

Create Gratitude Rituals

Incorporate gratitude into your daily routine by creating gratitude rituals. Start each day by thinking of one thing you are grateful for. These rituals can help make gratitude a regular part of your life.

Volunteer and Give Back

Giving back to others can help you cultivate a sense of gratitude for what you have. Volunteering your time  can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment. It can also remind you of the positive impact you can have on others, which can increase your own sense of gratitude.

Focus on the Positive

Make a conscious effort to focus on the positive aspects of your life. When negative thoughts or challenges arise, try to reframe them in a more positive light.

Practice Self-Compassion

Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion. Recognize that it’s okay to have tough days and that you are doing your best. By being gentle with yourself, you can cultivate a greater sense of gratitude for your own efforts and achievements.

There is so much to be grateful for everyday, not just in November.

 

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2024 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Finding Joy

This past week has been incredible and I’m still trying to get my head around all that has happened in just a few short days. Sometimes life can be overwhelming and we get caught up in how much we have going on.  We can focus on the to dos rather than on the joy that each experience brings. I have had to remind myself of this more than a few times.

Last weekend we celebrated my Dad’s 85th birthday which was the beginning of my gratitude. As most of you know, my dad has died more than a few times. He has seen the light and yet he was still here to celebrate a milestone birthday. As usual, my dad puts everything in perspective reminding us that each day is a gift. He is right! There is no joy without gratitude. I am so thankful to have my dad here for all of this.

We had an election and then the next day my dear friends hosted a beautiful book launch party for Change for Good. Living in LA my friends came from all parts of town, dealt with insane traffic to celebrate this milestone. It was such a special night having my family there and so many of the amazing people who have walked this journey with me. The joy was palpable. The excitement and feedback from the book has been overwhelming. People are buying six to ten copies at a time, giving them to friends. All of it has been surreal to say the least.

As if that wasn’t enough for the week, I was chosen to present the book to my publishing group the next morning. An incredible group of female authors that She Rises Studios brings together via zoom each week. That was a privilege and really fun. Later that evening we had our TACSC benefit to raise funds for the youth leadership nonprofit that is my day job. Another incredible night supporting people who serve and lead.

All of that brings me to my husband’s birthday, another opportunity for joy. His birthday is also the day before the anniversary of my parent’s car accident. Twenty-two years ago this week. I’ve been talking a lot about the book this week and as a result a lot about my mom. I have felt her guide me and her presence in all of this. My mom is the person who knew what joy was. She created it, she laughed all the time and she embraced life fully. Her voice and legacy is on these pages and everywhere in the book. I came across this picture of her recently and it is exactly who she was.

My mom knew life was precious and life is short. Hers was. She knew what mattered. I shared this the other night at the book launch and thought I would share it again here.

At the end of our one precious beautiful life people are not going to talk about how rich or how thin you were. They are going to talk about how you made people feel, who you helped, how you lived and how you made the world better through your kindness and love. I am not a perfect example of this but the hundreds of nonprofit founders who I have interviewed are. Their stories and lives are in this book and their examples of how to live and give. This is what we should all be focusing on because this is what really matters. There is no silver bullet for life. If there was a silver bullet it would be helping another person. It is the one and only thing we can all do to affect change for good.

Twenty-two years ago this week my life changed forever. So much good has come from that loss. When an earthquake happens, a city is reborn. When a forest fire creates a new forest those trees become a book to inspire others. There is no loss without rebirth. Twenty two years ago, Saturday I lost my mom. Twenty-one years ago this week we launched a nonprofit. One year ago this week I met my publishers and today I am here at this moment talking about my bestselling book with each of you. Life is precious, life is short. Use it well and use your beautiful life to change someone else’s. It is the best thing you can ever do to Change for Good.

My mom taught me so much about how to live and how to find joy. Her legacy lives on in so many ways. My hope is that her legacy can continue to inspire others to go in search of finding joy.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

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The Art of Good

I know its election day and the noise, the anger, the stress and the tension are building. It is a lot! Right now, especially depending where you live, it seems that we are really divided. That makes me very sad. However, I do truly have hope. If bell curves are real, which I believe they are, then we as a country are more in the middle together than apart. The media has used us as a tug of war to run to each side of that bell curve to be pulled at and torn apart. It is upon each of us to reach across the aisle to our friends, our family and our neighbors to begin these uncomfortable conversations.

This certainly is never a place for politics. Charity Matters is a community where we come together to help one another, to serve one another and to learn the path back to strengthening our social infrastructure that is very broken. There are so many light workers in the world trying to connect us in positive ways.  One of them is an app called Starfish Social where they are gathering like minded helpers, like you, and connecting people to work together for causes they care about. They have a podcast called The Art of Good and I was a guest last week  and wanted to share the conversation here.

As we all search for ways to build bridges back to unity during this uncertain time. We need to look within and begin the process by creating real connections. These connections are the glue that holds the fabric of our society together and it starts with each of us, real humans connecting with real humans. You are the glue that holds your family, your neighborhood and your community together. You are the connection and the glue that makes it all work.

So in order for our communities  to thrive and continue each of us is going to have to grow, to stretch ourselves and to change. Change is what scares us all. The fear in the world today around the election is the fear of the unknown. The fear of change and feeling a lack of control over our future. The reality is that change is the one constant in life we all share. I think most of us can agree that  change looks best in the rearview mirror. This too shall pass whatever it is. We will adapt, grow and learn to accept it. Let us hope that in the process we can all lean into one another to create change for good in all we want to see and become.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

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Mom to More

I have to admit that God blessed me with amazing friends, truly incredible people that lift me up and have helped me in the darkest of times. There is really no greater gift besides good health than good friends. Especially my girlfriends, they are fun, kind, strong and many of them are wonderful connectors. Always saying, “Do you know so and so? You need to know them!” Through my friends, I am constantly meeting and making more friends. That is exactly how I met Sharon Macey. One girlfriend connecting another.

 

Sharon stayed home and raised her three fantastic now grown children. She realized that we all have second chapters after motherhood but there wasn’t a place to tell those second half stories. So Sharon decided to do it herself and in the process created her own second half and the very successful and popular podcast Mom to More.  It is a place where we can tell our stories of being home with our children and how we ended up where we are now.  I’m really loving being the guest these days and not the host.  Please take a listen below to a great and fun conversation.

Most of you began following Charity Matters when I was a stay at home mom who had just co-founded a nonprofit with a group of friends. When I began Charity Matters, I simply wanted to find out why other people started nonprofits. It was curiosity more than anything. I really wanted to learn other people’s stories. Today, thirteen years later I am just as fascinated with people’s journeys to serve.

Sharon is telling a similar story of mothers who put their careers on the back burner for their children. For many that isn’t an option and no matter where you sit in motherhood, the grass is always greener. Trust me. I have sat in both sections. When I stayed at home, I dreamed of the career I had left behind. When I went back to work, I longed to be home with my boys. There is never an easy path. Regardless of where life takes us, it is important to know there is always something ahead for each of us. We never know what that is.

Thirteen years ago, I would sit home and write this blog before I picked up my boys from school. This is how little our youngest son was then. Never, ever did I dream when I was home with my boys what amazing young men they would become. Nor did I realize then how many incredible humans I would meet and interview. Never did I imagine how many thousands of people would become a part of this community of helpers.

I could barely copy and paste a link back then, and tech is still my biggest challenge, but a podcast? The thought that Episode 80 and Season 8 is coming soon amazes me.  Being a guest on the Mom to More podcast was really fun. Sharon reminded me of those days when the boys were young. If there is one thing we never regret, it is time with our children and how quickly that time passes.

Time slips through our hands like sand. We each have different seasons in our lives. Somedays it feels as if the season is never going to change, like its Ground Hog’s Day, again and again. Then, something happens and things begin to move and shift. The change and evolution begins. You have been here for all of it, when my boys graduated from high school, then college, well you know the journey. Sometimes looking back makes you smile. This conversation reminded me how far Charity Matters and I have come and that is a good thing. Because we are all here to Change for Good.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

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Looking at the numbers….

I hope you had a great Labor Day weekend and are enjoying this short week! Speaking of labor,  I work hard and want my work to matter, to make a difference. I admit, I am a little competitive too. However, I’m not always good at metrics and score keeping. People ask me about stats and numbers for our subscribers, listeners and all of that and to be honest, I am so busy creating that I rarely look. Should I be looking more often? Yes, I know. I’m more competitive  with myself than with others.

If I look and see that we are not doing as great as another podcast that can sometimes stop me from moving forward. I understand that analytics are important but somehow that isn’t the measuring stick that I usually use. My measuring stick is your comments, your emails, when you tell me something you did because of what you read here. That is what fuels me forward.

Last week I was the guest on a terrific new podcast called Mom to More. The format is interviewing women who have been at home with their children for at least ten years and telling their journey back to work. It was a great conversation. During our talk,  Sharon Macey, the host, mentioned her new podcast ranking. I asked her where she found her data. Because getting insights from Apple isn’t the easiest in my experience. She told me she uses ListenNotes

Naturally, I pulled up Listen Notes and discovered that we are ranked in the top 5% of podcasts in our catagory out of over three million podcasts in the world. WhooHoo! I was over the moon to see those numbers and that is because of you! All of you listen and share these episodes, spreading the word of people doing good. Since today is the International Day of Charity, I can not think of a better way to celebrate. I am so grateful to this beautiful tribe. You are the people changing the world each day by investing in kindness. You make choices what to listen to and you choose good. I am beyond grateful to you, thank you.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

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A little insight

In full disclosure, my husband has called me Dharma for years. If you remember the TV show called Dharma and Greg? You know the one where the husband is all about facts and figures and his wife is a little WhooWhoo and out there. The truth is I definitly have some Dharma in me. Ever since I lost my mom, there have beem so many unexplained “coincidences” in my life that I am open to what God, the Universe is trying to tell me. The Dharma has come out in me for sure!

A few weeks ago, I was on a group call with the publisher of my upcoming book, along with many of the other women authors they represent. We meet weekly to connect and share our writing journeys with one another. On this zoom meeting, I met a woman named Kim Beam who offered to give me a reading. She is lovely.  A hospital social worker by day, an author and someone who has a gift to share with the world.

Truth be told, I was terrified of a reading. I had never had one before. What was she going to see and say? Why is it that the first thing that comes to your mind is bad news? That is exactly where my mind went. Kim said, “I would love to talk to you about your book.” Certainly, this has been one of the scariest things I have ever done. You feel incredibly vulnerable putting yourself out there and it is scary. Nervously, I said,” That would be great. I would like to know if I’m on the right path?” It couldn’t hurt to ask, right?

I was a guest on Kim’s podcast, Intuitive Insights. The episode is above. After receiving the reading, I again felt vulnerable sharing it. Am I so weird that I even had this reading? Will people think I’m crazy? All of these thoughts raced through my head. As soon as the negative thoughts passed, I realized that once again to be brave you must be vulnerable. In life you have to take risks. You have to try if you really want to make a difference.

So here I am, Dharma and all. Nervous, excited, thrilled, terrified and proud of myself, all at once.

It would be great to be a New York Times best-selling author. But you know what is even better than that? Trying and jumping into the arena. I signed up to get in the race and I’m close to the finish line. At the end of the day, all we can do is try our best. If that means being vulnerable in order to use our gifts to the greatest good, then here we go….

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

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Back to school is a time to Change for Good

As summer comes to an end, back to school brings us another chance to start anew, especially for our children. Fall is a time for everyone to shed the old and begin again. It isn’t just for students. When we are looking at ways to improve ourselves we don’t always think about helping others. We usually think about losing weight or making more money. If we really want to change, wouldn’t changing for good be a great starting point? 

Let’s take a moment to think about what gifts we have that could help someone else? What I am asking you is what is in your tool box? Maybe you have a passion for gardening and you could work with schools to develop their gardens or work on an inner city garden?  The options for your gifts and matching the needs of others is endless.

The challenge is that we do not think about our gifts as things to give away. It doesn’t just have to be money that we give. The greatest gift we have is our time and our talent so why don’t we start with giving those first? Think about your gifts. You are an accountant, an attorney, an artist, a baker, in marketing, an organizer, whatever it is you do for a living there is a gift in that skill. It is a gift that someone can use. There is a match for a nonprofit that needs just the gift you have. Giving doesn’t need to be menial, it needs to be joyful.

Once you have figured out what you are good at and you know your gifts, now the fun part is to begin to think about where to give them away. You don’t want to give your gifts to just anyone, hopefully there is a cause you care about. What makes you so fired up thinking about it that you need to do something? Let’s start with that. 

Then it’s time to ask yourself a few questions. What change do you want to see? Do you care about the rainforest or are you worried about the literacy rate in America? Starting to understand the problem you want to address will let you know if this is what you want to get more involved with. We need to understand the problems before we can begin to identify solutions and how we can be a part of them.

The bigger the problem, the slower the change and the longer it can take to see an impact. Solving a problem like breast cancer research can be slow. Ask yourself where you will see change and who will benefit from this change?  Then ask yourself what the timeline is that you are looking for. There are no wrong answers but asking yourself these questions will help set you up for success with whichever path you pursue.

There are 1.6 million nonprofits with a need for people to help and share their gifts. Today, there are dating apps for singles but in the nonprofit space there are a number of great sites to match people and skills. One of the best is called catchafire.org Think of it as Linkedin or Bumble for nonprofits. 

You can go onto their site and list your skills as an attorney, graphic artist, accountant, marketing and then list what causes you care about. For example, say that you love animals and are a graphic designer. CatchAFire will match you with a project from a nonprofit such as creating graphics for a new fundraising campaign. It is an incredible way to try on a cause, meet new people and build your resume while making a difference.

 There are other sites that have more traditional volunteer work like VolunteerMatch.com You can put in your zip code and be given a wide range of opportunities in your area which is a terrific way to meet people in your community and make a difference. This is another great place to begin to dip your toe into the giving back pool of joy. Let’s make sure this fall we are all changing for good!

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

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She Said Yes!

Thirteen years ago when I started Charity Matters when our sons were sixteen, fourteen and ten. Today, they are 29, 27 and 23 so time has flown by.  Each of you has walked this journey of service and parenting with me for all these years. I am beyond grateful to each of you. It feels like yesterday that I shared the story of our middle son, Henry’s, last football game, called The Last Pass.  Followed by the story of the The Last Lunch . There were so many last before Henry left for college. Again, you followed  along on my love letter called , A Mother’s Sendoff .

It has been such a priviledge to share our son’s journeys with you. I am thrilled to share that Henry got engaged this past weekend to his amazing fiance Shelby. We are on cloud nine seeing two people we love so dearly are so incredibly happy. These are the moments we live for, remember and cherish.

This week we are celebrating with Shelby’s family and enjoying summer and our precious time together. Thank you for walking this journey with our family and for understanding that our Season Eight is going to be a little late. We will be busy smiling and celebrating just a little bit longer.

 

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

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