“Christmas, my child is love in action. Every time we love, every time we give, it’s Christmas.”
Dale Evans
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.
It’s here, ready or not…
Christmas Eve has always been one of my favorite nights of the year.
My parents always hosted a large dinner for every friend, family member, stray or wayward neighbor without a place to go….and our home was always such a special place to be on Christmas Eve.
This year will be no exception, we will be with our family at a similar celebration filled with laughter, love and festivity. My heart is full with the blessings of love.
However, especially this time of year, it is so important to reach out to those that do not have a place to go. To a lonely neighbor or a friend who cannot be with family during the holidays.
A simple gesture is the greatest gift and the true meaning of the season.
Every time we love, we give.
My wish is for everyone to feel the love and magic of Christmas.
The other day, I wrote about being present to witness the joy and miracles that are all around us this holiday season. No sooner had I finished that post, when I received an email which had been forwarded to me. The email came from a woman named Jamie to her friend Steve.
Jamie wrote to Steve telling him that she would be going home to Philadelphia for the holidays and would be visiting an elderly nun, named Sr. Helen, who had been a wonderful influence on Jamie in high school. Sr. Helen was elderly and now had no family left and would be alone on Christmas.
Jamie remembered that Steve’s daughters attended a sister school in California, where Sr. Helen had worked years ago. Her request was simple, was there anyone at the school who might have remembered Sr. Helen and who would be willing to write a note or a Christmas card? The only Christmas gift that Jamie knew would touch Sr. Helen’s heart and remind her of all she had done for so many over the years.
I received the email and immediately forwarded it to the sister school, where I am an alumna. Within moments, a reply all came back from an angelic woman, named Angela. Angela would be thrilled to spread the good word and pull together messages of love for Sr. Helen to be delivered on Christmas day.
One woman’s kindness, sparked another’s and another’s and the result will be pure Christmas magic for an elderly woman who will be reminded that she is not alone but rather the spark to a flame of goodness. Pure Christmas magic…..
“The mother of excess is not joy but joylessness.”
Friedrich Nietzsche
I would be lying if I didn’t admit to being a bit tired and overloaded this time of year. Do not get me wrong, I adore the holidays! I love everything about them, the decorations, the friends, the parties, the food, and even the presents. Truly, I do.
However, there are days when doing all the shopping, the wrapping and the cooking that it feels a bit overwhelming. We are about 10 days away and while I am checking things off the list, I am concerned with exactly that…..just checking them off, rather than feeling the joy.
With so much to do, it is easy to just go, go, go but if we are all moving at warp speed how can we be in the moment to witness the magic moments of the holidays? The other day I was whirling around getting ready for a party, I dashed into my in-laws to borrow something and in my rush almost missed my tiny niece hanging an ornament on the tree. She squealed with delight, which is what stopped me in my tracks to take the picture above.
And there it was….the joy, the wonder, the magic…right there in front of me and I almost missed it. I write this post as a reminder to myself that the joy is everywhere, if we just slow down long enough to catch it.
The second Sunday in December is an international day of remembrance for children that have died. Every year, in the middle of this crazy hectic season, I curse trying to get to this candle lighting event, I am running on empty and overload, a million lists rushing through my head…..and then I walk into the auditorium…..where I am greeted by hundreds of faces, many who are wearing their deceased child’s image on their t-shirt or clinging to a framed photo, as if it is a life raft…and I pause.
It is then, in this moment, that I know what is truly important. It is here, as I begin to hear one parent share the story of their child’s short journey on this earth and the big impact this small life had on so many, that I know what matters. In this room is full of sniffles, tears and broken hearts the traffic is forgotten, the holiday list vanish and all that remains is love and compassion.
The emotion is palpable and the love and connection these people feel for one another, although strangers, is real. For each of them has walked this path, a hellish journey where they never feel whole again because they have lost a child….their child.
Over 40 years ago, in 1969, a chaplain at the Warwickshire Hospital in England brought together two sets of grieving parents, realizing that the understanding and support they could give one another was greater than he could provide. At that kitchen table the Lawley family, Henderson family and chaplain, Simon Stephens created The Society of Compassionate Friends.
Today, The Compassionate Friends has over 700 chapters nationwide to offer friendship, understanding and hope to bereaved parents, siblings, grandparents and family members when a child has died. There are TCF chapters in more than 30 countries around the world, lead by volunteers who are bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents.
This Sunday, December 11th at 7pm, in time zones across the globe, the world’s largest mass candle lighting event will create a 24 hour wave of light in remembrance of a child gone too soon. I will be lighting a candle for so many, gone too soon and once again be grounded in what it is that truly matters…..love.
Today is December 7th and for most of us, that day doesn’t really ring any bells. However, for some of us either lucky enough to grow up with parents who told us about this sacred day, or perhaps, old enough to remember, it is a day in infamy.
So, while this may not be a non-profit moment, it is one even bigger. On December 7th, 1941, Pearl Harbor was bombed by the Japanese . 75 years ago today, Hawaii did not look like this. A recently discovered family film uncovered the moment the war began and along with it, uncovered the moment that it ended.
So while you are out Christmas shopping today, remember that you have that luxury because of those who went before us. The ones that gave us the gift of freedom.
There is something magical and cathartic about writing. For me, it is a time to hear my inner voice and explore the outside world, as well as a gift that I cherish. That is why when I heard about 826National.org I was smitten with their mission and story to encourage the gift of writing.
Their story began in 2002, when author Dave Eggers and educator, Ninive Calegari were looking for a solution to help overburdened teachers, while connecting talented working adults and students who needed help. They located a store front in the Mission District of San Francisco, aptly at 826 Valencia Street, where they opened a pirate store in the front and built a writing lab for kids in the back of an old gym space.
Word spread quickly and before long 826 Valencia was serving 6,000 students, between the ages of 6 and 18, annually with over 1,700 volunteers.
Only two years later in 2004 a second chapter of 826NYC, opened in New York City and the following year chapters opened up in Los Angeles, Ann Arbor and Boston. By 2008, 826’s fifth anniversary the non-profit had published its first book with their students work and opened their national headquarters called 826 National with a mission that believes great leaps in learning can happen with individual attention and that strong writing skills are fundamental to future success.
Today, 826 National.Org serves over 30,000 students across the country with over 5,300 volunteers, the organization has been a part of over 886 publishing projects and currently has seven chapters nationwide.
“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”
Eckhart Tolle
As we all begin to prepare for Thanksgiving, it seems like an appropriate time to think of all we have to be grateful for.
It is so easy to think of all we have to do, but perhaps for just moment we can reflect upon all the blessings we have.
When my sons were younger we did “Thankful Thursday” every Thursday night at our dinner table. The boys would roll their eyes and then share whatever they were thankful for from “no homework” to “everyone at our table.” As the years went by, it became clear that this lesson in practicing gratitude was a gift.
Today, our college age sons reference their gratitude frequently. Now it comes in the form of a family text thread, the most recent from my 21-year-old “be thankful that we are all healthy and alive”
Once upon a time I dreamed of living in a big beautiful house on top of a hill, driving a beautiful old car and having four boys…..and all of those dreams became a reality. As a little girl I did dream those dreams and as an adult they all came true, with the exception of having 3 boys…. but sometimes my husband does counts as a fourth…just sayin!
Last year, when we moved from the house up on the hill for all to see, to a house down a very steep hill for no one to see, my wise friend Wendy said,” Your old house was all about the outside and this house is all about the inside.” A comment I have chewed on over and over since she said it.
The other day I wrote about living an external life vs. an internal one. As I reflect, it really is no different from living in that house on the hill. We bought that house because we fell in love with it, it was falling down in disrepair, it needed us and it was across the street from one of the most beautiful parks in Southern California….and with three little boys at the time…it was heaven on earth…not about being “seen.”
And yet, I would be lying if I didn’t admit to being house proud. Zillions of hours gardening, painting, fixing, moving rocks, and in general loving that house. I did want everyone to see our masterpiece and our home. We didn’t do all that work for people driving by, we did it for ourselves and for our family. If I had it to again I would not change a thing.
As I reflect on my new home hidden from the world, from the street and from all who try to find it. I reflect on Wendy’s words. This house and this time in my life is about reflecting inward and not about what is seen from the outside.
So, while the thousands of influencers try to fight for your attention and impress you externally, I will sit in my glass house alone in the canyon and hope that these thoughts from within resonate…from my insides to yours.
I recently watched a segment on 60 Minutes about “influencers.” Yes, Kim Kardashian and a host of other people I have never heard of all trying to gain favor amongst advertisers for surprise…guess what….our attention…which of course equates to dollars. I get it, I do.
I don’t write for myself, well kind of, I do… but truth be told I write to inspire people to want to help others. Sounds crazy I know…but the more people who are inspired the more that are helped..it is just that simple. So, in watching the 60 Minutes piece, I probably should have been inspired myself but somehow I felt the exact opposite. The reason being, is influencing others from their vantage point, does not feel authentic, but rather feels sad.
Of course people want to be entertained, they want to watch others glamorous lives, none of this is new. Yet, the need to win over others for something external, is where I am having an internal struggle. How can I judge the Kim Kardashians of the world, when in reality the more people I “influence” the more people I help. That makes me as much a part of this ugly system as the people featured on the show….and for whatever crazy reason, I am having a hard time with that.
No, I am not better or worse than the Kardashians, the youtube makeup artist, the international sensation who does the splits around the globe or a funny guy who cranks out 6 second Vine videos…each person brings their own talent to the world and each of us vie for the same thing…attention. Honestly, a painful truth to admit.
I must confess, for me, it’s not about your “eyeballs” it’s about your heart and your soul. If one person is inspired to do a kind thing for another because of what they have read here…well then my heart is full and my job is done….influencer or not…that is the real deal.
Today is Veterans Day and the day that we celebrate all of those amazing men and women who have served our country. Last week I had the privilege of speaking with one incredible veteran and her name is Genevieve Chase. At only 38, she has served two tours in Afghanistan, is the recipient of the Bronze Star, the Purple Heart and the Combat Action Badge, and is the Founder of AmericanWomensVeterans.org
Genevieve had trained for two years as a counter intelligence agent and was in Afghanistan for only two months, in April 2006, when a car bomb detonated and changed her life forever. She and her team survived but suffered varying degrees of traumatic brain injuries. She told me, “Angels watched over us and I knew I survived that bomb for a reason.”
At the end of 2007, Genevieve came home, depressed, unsure about her purpose and began volunteering for another military non-profit. She began to realize that women veterans where not being heard, served or listened too. More importantly she discovered that there are 2.2 million women veterans in the United States.
In December 2008, Genevieve and her sister (shown above) put a call out on Facebook to any women Veteran’s in New York City to come join them for breakfast and thirteen women did. As she listened to stories about their shame to be a veteran, the way they were treated or ignored she knew something had to be done and that was the beginning of AmericanWomenVeterans.org
Today, almost eight years later the American Womens Veterans has become a change agent for women veterans. Genevieve has testified before U.S. Senate Foreign Relations and Veteran Affairs Committee to bring change and attention to these incredible women who have served. The American Womens Veterans is proud that they have helped to bring women’s health care to every VA facility in the country, helped acknowledge women veterans who were not allowed to be buried at Arlington National Cemetery and continue to shine a light on the remarkable role that women veterans have played and continue too, as they serve our country.
As we honor all of our veterans today, we need to remember that not every GI is a Joe.”
