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Episode 85: The KinderSmile Foundation

Did you know that students miss 53 million hours of school each year due to oral disease? I did not but thanks to our amazing guest today I have learned so much about what our underserved communities around the country are facing with a lack of proper dental care. I am so excited to introduce you to the amazing Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes. A full time dentist, a mother and a nonprofit founder on a mission to change all of that with the KinderSmile Foundation.

Join us for an incredible conversation that will inspire you in unbelievable ways. If you don’t think one person can change the world then you haven’t met Dr. Nicole!  Dr. Nicole is pure sunshine in a bottle and will definitely give you something to smile about!

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what The KinderSmile Foundation does?

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes: KinderSmile Foundation is a 501, c3, non profit organization whose mission is to increase oral care access and oral care education for low income children and Perinatal mothers and their families. And our vision hopes to eradicate the number one preventable disease, which is oral disease, and that every child has a chance to see a dentist.

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about Growing up? Did you have any philanthropic role models?

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes: Growing up, I can identify multiple role models. My mother, of course, was one. She was an immigrant from Jamaica, West Indies. My mother worked very hard, and she poured into us giving back, giving back, giving back in her own way.  I noticed as a young child, I always had an affinity to serve and to give back. Either I was taking some young children to the park or babysitting or helping the elderly. It was always part of my fabric and my soul. And so I think that’s where that philanthropic part of me started as a very, very young child. 

When I completed dental school 1991 I was this black, successful dentist in northern New Jersey, Montclair, New Jersey, I checked off all the boxes you have, your home, your children, so forth and so on. But my whole soul was still craving or yearning for something. I had a hole in my soul despite checking off all the boxes. And then you realize that there’s a difference between providing a service, like what you do in dentistry or serving your community. What I was missing was serving my community. 

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start The KinderSmile Foundation?

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes: That moment was in 2007 when I decided to open up my private practice to children at a local Head Start in Montclair, New Jersey.  I asked the Executive Director of that program to please bus children to my office. I wanted to treat them for free as long as they have the consent from their parents. One evening I received a phone call from my receptionist. She said, ” Dr Nicole. There is a five year old little girl here in the office now. They need help. They need an emergency exam.”

 And so I leave my children, I go to the office. There was this little five year old black girl,  we’ll call her Z,  and she leaped into my arms. She literally had an abscess the size of a golf ball. And when I saw that, my heart stopped after leaving my children, because my son was almost that age.  I knew that it could potentially be deadly. So I spoke to the grandmother, and I said, “Look, this is serious. We gotta get on some antibiotics. Do you have any insurance? ” And she said, ” Well, we live in Union County, we live 30 minutes away. We could not find a dentist in a 35 mile radius to treat her because we have state Medicaid.”

So that night, I went home, and I could not sleep. I fell to my knees, and I had a long conversation with God.  I literally said,” if this is my purpose, confirm it. The next morning, I was reading the ADA quarterly news, about a 12 year old,  black boy from Prince George’s County, Maryland, who died from that same toothache, infection that little Z had. He was 12 years old. His mother was burying her first child because no one wanted to treat him because he had Medicaid. All it would take was two minutes of writing a prescription. 

It was at that was that moment, November 2007 that I started KinderSmile Foundation. I knew nothing about a nonprofit, absolutlely nothing.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes: Some of the early challenges were juggling a family, a private practice all while starting a nonprofit.  Some of the challenges as a woman entrepreneur you’re balancing family life because you’re driven by your passion. You’re driven by the fact that there’s a problem and I can solve it, or I can contribute to the resolution of this issue.

 Then  trying to get other people in my profession to understand why I’m doing this and the necessity. That was very difficult, because public health dentistry is not necessarily viewed as a successful entity of the dental profession. And if you don’t know that 53 million hours in school are missed every year due to oral disease, you don’t know that. I had to educate my colleagues, not to get offended, but to educate them. So the education took at least seven to 10 years. Now we have a list of volunteer dentists who are willing to participate, who are willing to open up their doors and to treat our children and our patients. So it’s worth it. The persistence paid off.

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes:  I tend to look at it qualitatively. Education to me is the key. And for me, success is if I can educate a child, one family at a time, the extractions, the fillings, the dental services,  that is the icing on the cake. But if you can really meet them where they are, to edify and encourage them that you know what? Your child doesn’t need to have a cavity. This is the way you go about it. That’s what makes me sleep at night.

Yes, the grants that you receive, or the $16 million worth of in kind services, or the 8000 patients we see annually, yes, those numbers are impactful. But the lives that you save through compassion, educating, and letting them know that I Care Dental Homes that we built, not dental clinics, which has a negative connotation, but the Dental Homes that are beautifully decorated and clean and organized. When they walk in, they say, “This is for me,. whether I have dental insurance or not.” That is success. They know they can always come back to a KinderSmile community for quality, comprehensive treatment. That to me is success.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes:  The big dream would be the expansion of our KinderSmile dental homes and our KinderSmile community oral health centers. I would like to see that in other areas in the country. A dental home that opens the door to the underinsured. Replicate our model and have it in other indigent areas because we know the model works. We know the mission and the vision is so impactful.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes:  I learned that first of all the word obedience blares out right when you’re called to do something trust and have that faith. But I also learned  that persistence wins and humility connects God. Persistency wins and humility connects because when you’re humble, you realize it’s not about you. When I’m speaking to my colleagues, and you’re humble, regardless of what they’re thinking, your humility is going to connect.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes:  This has been a wonderful journey. A wonderful, wonderful journey. One thing, I could definitely say is that I get less offended. I think in the early years, when colleagues would say insensitive things like, “What’s it in for me?”  or “I don’t treat those.” I would take it just a tad bit personally. When you step back and you realize that it’s bigger than you, but most importantly, it’s not about you.  Then you get less offended. Then you say, let me use this platform to educate my colleagues, to educate people, regardless of your socioeconomic status or your color or your race or your religion. This is my purpose. This is my journey. So let me educate because you don’t know what you don’t know.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes:  To be very honest, what fueled me was my faith and that I was brought here for a reason. This is my purpose. And when you know that, you know that. You know this is a purpose, there’s no such thing as giving up.  You understand that there will be dark times and there will be light times, but you still persist, because it’s bigger than me. It’s serving a community and it’s creating a legacy.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2025 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

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Charity Matters Inspiration

A New Kind of March Madness

Life can move so quickly somedays that we are not even sure what is happening around us. That is why sitting in silence every Sunday and writing to you gives me a moment to connect, to slow down, to reflect and to think about what matters. There are so many days when I feel in alignment with what I am here to do on this earth and for that I am grateful. Then there are the days when life feels like a tornado of activity that is hard to comprehend. Somehow I think I live in a weird place between trying to drive everything and letting go and accepting what is unfolding. It is a new level of March Madness.

All three of our sons were born in March so every year we had a March Madness family birthday dinner to celebrate all of our March birthdays. So having a crazy March is not unfamiliar. As the boys have grown and flown our March Madness celebrations have dwindled and a new type of madness has moved in to replace the void left by the chaos of amazing boys. Work and serving and of course a little fun have filled the space. It has been a wild, wonderful and busy month.

It started with an event at my publishers, She Rise Studios, that brought together so many female authors for a day of collaboration. It was amazing what can happen when we all come together to support one another and the joy was palpable. As if that wasn’t enough it was fun to have my publisher submit an article about my work in Medium Magazine, you can take a look here. 

During the day, we are in the throes of teaching service to thousands of middle school students this month at TACSC, which is what I love most about what I do. There is so much energy that goes into making all of these happen with a tiny staff of three and all of our amazing volunteers. Planting that seed of service is something that really makes me happy and these students give me hope. Last week it was fun to speak on a panel about women in leadership for one of the great schools we work with.

Running a nonprofit by day is amazing and exhausting. Then finding that second wind to do it again at night has challenged me this month. I have been so lucky to keep getting invited to speak at different nonprofits and National Charity League Chapters about the power of service. This month the nighttime schedule has been fantastic. It is so great to meet new people, share the stories that I share here and sign books. Who knew being an author was an endurance sport?

In the midst of it all, I found some time to get back to the Elks lodge and support our local Pasadena/Altadena fire victims. While the media has left, the community has not. We are in this for the long haul, whatever that is. It is in those moments that I find joy, connection, kindness and the best of humanity. These are the things that matter, that refill the gas tank and get me ready to do it again. Life is precious and life is short. We need to use our one beautiful life to make someone else’s better. It is the only way to survive March Madness…

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2025 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

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Cancer

Episode 60: Dana Pepper Bouton Endowment Fund

Last year I interviewed my friend, Dana Bouton, who has been living with terminal cancer. I told her that I would repost our conversation each year in celebration of her birthday which is March. I missed Dana’s birthday by a few days but she is celebrating every precious moment and year. I am thrilled to celebrate her in this small way. So if you are looking for some inspiration this conversation with Dana will do it ……

Years ago when I lost my mom, someone said to me, “The greatest gift you can give the world is a life well lived.” Today’s guest is a fantastic example of just that.  In full disclosure, I have known our guest Dana Bouton for probably twenty years. We have raised our children in the same community. Dana sent me an email explaining that her cancer had returned and was now terminal. She was determined to use the time she had left to leave a lifetime legacy to the City of Hope. The Dana Pepper Bouton Endowment Fund will help families financially devastated by cancer.

Join Dana and June Penrod from City of Hope to learn how one person can make a difference for so many living with cancer. Dana’s humor and insight will inspire you and make you think about how you live. She is a true example of the quote above and what really matters. During our conversation I made Dana a promise that I would re-publish her podcast on her birthday each year as a reminder and a legacy of her work, so Happy Birthday Dana! Cheers to another amazing lap around the sun. Thank you for reminding us all how to live.

 

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what The Dana Pepper Bouton Endowment Fund will do?

Dana Pepper Bouton: The idea of the fund was set up to help families who are navigating the difficult diagnosis of cancer to have resources for support.  They want world class care in hospitals and need to get transportation, gas,  child care, groceries, and a multitude of other things. So this fund is set up to kick out money in the form of gift cards, to help these families get to City of Hope. More than having the best possible care but receiving some supportive care on the side of having to deal with their loved one being a patient. 

June Penrod: What we do is provide state of the art treatment.  So we are really the champion when it comes to precision medicine of being able to fight cancer.  Not only at the cusp of when it’s worst in your body, but also in the beginning phases of helping our population screening for cancer. So we really did the entire gamut from A to Z on cancer treatment for all patients in Los Angeles and Orange County.

We are really proud of the impact that we are having on cancer patients in the nation. The role that I specifically play is acquiring resources for what we call our Department of Supportive Care Medicine. It is one of the unique elements of City of Hope that make it so special. Supportive Care is basically the emotional and spiritual arm that comes out of the cancer journey that patients go through. So while they can focus on the treatment with their doctors, Supportive Care medicine wants to focus on their emotional care journey.  Then they are really focused on their cancer treatment and not having to worry about any of the external factors that might get in the way of that journey.Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start this endowment?

Dana Pepper Bouton:  I was diagnosed with stage four non Hodgkins lymphoma in January of 2018. And here we are about  five and a half years later.  I’ve had multiple rounds of chemotherapy, back to back bone marrow transplants, a few operations, infusions, and transfusions. Now I’m terminal after all of those treatments.  You know, I can’t control the fact that the doctors say, “there’s nothing more we can do for you, except try to keep you alive a few months at a time.” 

So I’ve lost the ability to kind of control how long I thought I would live. I came to the conclusion that I haven’t lost the ability to create a legacy for other people. Even though I’ve had basically what I simply call very bad luck because there’s no genetic component to how sick I’ve been. I’ve also been very blessed. And I’ve had multiple resources, in terms of financially supportive community to help me along the way. 

After spending so much time in the hospital, and listening to June and others talk about the supportive care that City of Hope offers. I can create a legacy after I’m gone to help hundreds of people and that makes me feel really good. In fact, being terminal is really not that big of a deal in terms of how many people I can impact during the few months, maybe six months a year that I have left. This brings me such great joy and working with June and seeing her enthusiasm and the people around me who want to give. I just want to work as hard as I can to reach out to as many more people as possible. And I do have a tendency to accost people in the market.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Dana Pepper Bouton: I would say number one, I’ve had incredible support at City of Hope. And I also think, knowing that I have very limited time left, I see and feel and touch and smell in here so acutely. But I’m just really inspired by my enhanced senses. And so I love to capture what’s around me from macro to landscape, and put that on my website and share that in the form of wall art or greeting cards, postcards, and sell them, and how those proceeds go to my fund. 

 I’ve laid in bed for sure, and had had some really hard days. But seeing, feeling, talking to people and really hearing and really listening just propels me to keep going.  I know that when I am dying, I’m not going to regret being so tired. While taking pictures, or being with people, I would only regret that maybe I just stayed in bed and felt sorry for myself.  After I die, I want my fund to continue. So I’m pushing to get the word out.

Charity Matters: When do you know you have made a difference?

June Penrod:  Dana is a great example.  I think she doesn’t mind being the dramatic story of philanthropy, of this woman who should be taking care of herself but instead she’s taking care of others. Even though she received a terminal diagnosis, I mean, look at what she’s doing now.  We have folks who say, we have a great life that we’re living now, thanks to City of Hope and we want to contribute more. 

But we do also have folks who say, “My loved ones are not here with me anymore, but I love the compassion and the care they received.”  And so we want to give.  Then there are folks who have never stepped foot into the hospital but they know the great work that we do. And they want us to be their charity of choice. That blows my mind as well. 

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Dana Pepper Bouton:  My dream is that after I die, I want this fund to continue in perpetuity. So my dream is to keep spreading the word as long as possible. Then have my family and other people give money once or twice a year, in perpetuity.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience? 

Dana Pepper Bouton:  I appreciate when people talk to me out of just accepting where I’m at, and not trying to tell me that I don’t have hope. I have hope. And I also know that I’m going to die. Maybe within a few months, or perhaps, you know, a year. I think that the biggest life lesson is to listen to people in terms of where they’re at in their head. And don’t try to talk them out of something that might be their actual reality. I know that people have their own fear, but set that aside and try to put yourself in somebody else’s place.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Dana Pepper Bouton: There are two big changes. One is that I had the arrogance of aging, I thought I would live as long as my grandmother, who lived almost to the age of 102.  I assumed it would be just like that. And that was very arrogant on my part. I’ve learned in the last six years or little over five years, I guess, that was just very presumptuous of me. And I’m quite humbled and I find that now to be a blessing. And I also think it’s funny. 

I think my sense of humor has gotten quite rivaled.  The other thing is that I’ve had to learn to slow down and not be busy, which I really liked. But I’ve  accepted the fact that I can slow down. If I’m in pain, it’s okay to lay back down and listen to podcasts like your podcasts, and audiobooks and dream. My imagination has become so acute because I’ve been forced to lay down, forced to take a break. I willed myself to pivot and it took a while. And I’m proud that I had the strength although it took a long time to finally accept, don’t find it pivot. Find those blessings, and there’s new magic.

 

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2023 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

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Causes

Episode 84: Thrive in Joy: The Nick Fagnano Foundation

I get asked all the time about the people/nonprofit founders who inspire me the most. While I am truly inspired by all who serve and I do not have “favorites.” The answer is people who have lost children and take that unbelievable grief and pain and recycle it into good. Those are the people that I will never forget. Their stories and their children’s stories stay with me. These people are my heroes and their love for their child becomes their love for others. It is the ultimate recycling of pain to purpose.

Today’s guest, Mary Fagnano is one of those remarkable humans. When her young son Nick was struck by lightning on a summer day at the beach, her life and her husband’s life were forever changed. Nick was their only child and a remarkable young man heading off to college. His life and legacy of service lives on through the beautiful foundation his parents created called the Thrive In Joy, Nick Fagnano Foundation. Join us today for an inspirational conversation that you won’t want to miss.

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Thrive IN Joy Nick Fagnano Foundation does?

Mary Fagnano:  At the Thrive In Joy Nick Fagnano Foundation, we encourage young people to discover their character strengths and the joy of service through programs inspired by the life of our son Nick.

Charity Matters: What were some early influences on your giving back?

Mary Fagnano:   My mom volunteered a lot in school. She had a drama and speech  background and would go into schools and do creative dramatics and music. I would tag along with her in those early days. My father was always volunteering.  He adopted a family from Afghanistan through our church and brought them into our family.  I did grow up seeing my parents doing outreach and giving of themselves in my own life.

I look back and the first thing I remember is when I moved to Los Angeles, and I was trying to meet people. I moved here and the church I was going to had a program where you could go to juvenile hall and you could volunteer and talk to young people who were incarcerated.  It was a really powerful experience and the first time in my life that I had really put myself out there. 

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start The Thrive IN Joy Nick Fagnano Foundation?

Mary Fagnano: Nick always inspired me. He always inspired me to be a better person. He did this baseball equipment drive for kids in the Dominican Republic when he was going from Little League into high school. He loved baseball, and he had rallied his friends because he saw something on TV about how kids in the DR love baseball, but can’t afford the proper equipment. As a result, he put this drive together.

Another influence in my nonprofit journey was this guy named Greg Buzek, who I was in the advertising and marketing world with.  He had started an organization that brought executives together for a common good to help vulnerable children around the world, and they would make these service trips.   Nick was 20 when he passed.

Well, the signs that lead us. I was having a tough time and said, “Nick, I need to feel you. I need to know you’re here.” And at that moment, my phone rang, and it was Greg Bucha. And it was that call that really changed our life and started Jay and I to have a purpose. That phone call from Greg came only about four or five weeks after we’d lost Nick. 

Greg remembered that I had said that we were going to go to the Dominican Republic. And he said, “Maybe we’ve got this trip coming up. We’re going to install a computer lab at this school, and maybe you and Jay would want to go on this trip, because you never went with Nick” There were just so many signs on that trip that Nick wanted us there.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Mary Fagnano: We came back from that trip and did an extreme makeover in one classroom at this school in the DR. There was something that just told us we can do all ten classrooms. And we came back and we had a fundraiser, and we did have a great community so we raised $30,000.

The Foundation started in 2016 when we got our 501, c3. In 2016, we had a board that was focused on this little project in the Dominican Republic, helping out at an orphanage in a school and taking two trips a year to go there and do work. Then the board said to us, “This is great. You’re doing this in the DR, and we’ve seen how this has really been something that’s helped keep Nick’s memory alive. But if we’re really going to be a legitimate nonprofit, we want to have sustainability. We need to look local, and we need to find something local that we can do. “

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Mary Fagnano: Nick. Our board did some background research and found this Values in Action organization. We aligned the descriptive words of Nick against 24 character strengths that Values in Action defines through their scientific studies. And they have a survey that every student can take, every adult can take. It gives you this lineup of your top 10 character strengths. This is where we realized, okay, we do have something here.

Charity Matters: When do you know you have made a difference?

Mary Fagnano:  It’s the people we’re serving and the people who serve alongside of us. No nonprofit can operate without volunteers and but it’s the stories. 

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Mary Fagnano: Our impact is what happens through the young people that are part of our programs. We’ll talk about impact right now with our C 11 program.  The young people involved in our program have a project called an ESIP. It stands for entrepreneurial social impact project. At each school where we start with these foundational kind of modules to get that handle on character.

Every year, in the spring they have to do a they have to produce an ESIP. What they produce and how they’ve grown and how they activated their entire campus  is what gives me such impact. This group of students started out with a little leadership team, and then they recruited a club, and now they’ve got like 30 members. Those 30 members had this positive impact on their entire campus with discussions on body positivity or whatever subject.

The students brought together community resources, and they invited their whole campus and everybody could talk to these different organizations.  Everything from financial security, to safety, to riding public transportation, to health and safety. All are the students’ ideas. I measure the impact. I count how many you know people did this small group of students bring together?  Each school that we partner with creates its own little mini nonprofit and picks a cause they believe in as long as it aligns with mixed values, that were things that were important to Nick.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Mary Fagnano:  I would like to see the C 11 program go global. That would be the big dream.  I want to see that. Just continuing that everybody who wants to have the C 11 program and that every school  feels that there’s a value to this in their school.  We can provide it, and the dream is that we’re constantly able to improve it and update it and make it more exciting and more engaging. 

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Mary Fagnano: People say when you have a child, it changes your life. When you lose a child, it changes your life. Absolutely and I have changed by carrying a lot more about a lot of things that I think are more long lasting than the things that I cared about before.  Nick was only always number one. Everything about being a parent for both Jay and I, it was great. And so losing that and losing all of that purpose, and being able to find a different way to channel it has been a gift.

After Nick died, we found an essay that he wrote when he was a freshman in college. The title of the essay was the reality of heaven. The essay was a five page essay about all the different world religions and what they believe happens when people die. Nick concluded in this essay that his Christian faith tells him that when he dies, he will be finally reunited with the loved ones that he’s lost on earth. And he wrote, “I believe that when I go to heaven, I expect to feel joy, gratitude and excitement. I don’t believe that people should say rest in peace. Perhaps a phrase such as thrive in joy better reflects how I want to spend eternity.”

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Mary Fagnano: I would say the biggest lesson that I’ve learned is never to take a day for granted. Every day is precious. Every relationship that is important to you is precious. There’s never enough hours in the day, and you can’t beat yourself up about that. You try to get in everything you can in a day.

I don’t want to live an easy life. I want to live a meaningful life.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2025 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

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Charity Matters Inspiration

The healing power of helping

I wrote this piece a couple of weeks ago and waited to share it here because it was picked up by a few places and published, which was really lovely. Now that it is “out” I wanted to share it with you….

“We lost everything in the fire.” She pulled out her phone and showed me the charred remains of what was once her beautiful home in Altadena. The loss, the sadness and shock were real but where Marie said this was almost as shocking as the tragic images of what was left of her home. Marie was volunteering and helping other victims of the fires in our Pasadena/Altadena community and she wasn’t the only one.

When tragedy strikes, it is easy to think about what has happened to us? Who is it that thinks about others while they are suffering? After interviewing hundreds of fellow nonprofit founders over the past decade, I have learned that many know the path to healing begins by helping others. All of these individuals have suffered a loss of some sort and recycled their pain for purpose.

As we were folding clothing at our tables at the Pasadena Elks Lodge to distribute items to families who had lost everything in the fire, my fellow volunteer Denise told me, “I would much rather be here helping others than thinking about what has happened in my neighborhood.” Teary eyed and sad, she went on to tell me that she has always volunteered and that is how she met so many of the people in her community. Years spent helping in the classroom, with sports teams and so many groups that make Altadena a special place to live. While those places may be gone, the community spirit that created this idyllic neighborhood is not. We are seeing this day after day as the community begins to dig out from the rubble of their lives and start the healing process.

According to the US. Census Bureau and Americorp, over 75.7 million or 28.3% of the US population age 16 and up formally volunteered in 2023. That is more than one out of four Americans. Those hours add up to over 5 billion hours of formal volunteering, that is an average of 66 hours per person or eight business days. Meanwhile, over half of Americans age 16 and older say that they provided informal help to their neighbors.

Living in the Pasadena community my entire life, I have seen this community come together time and time again to help one another in times of loss. When I lost my own mother in a tragic car accident two decades ago, our community rallied around us in ways we could never begin to repay. Neighbors paid my parents bills while my father was in a coma. Meals came for six weeks while we attended three funerals from the accident. Friends mailed our Christmas cards and bought diapers for our young children and the list goes on. This what this community has always done and continues to do in the face of tragedy. Like the beautiful San Gabriel Mountains which were formed over centuries of earthquakes, this community will rise from the rubble as it continues to give and learn to receive.

It was  in receiving that I learned the power of giving to heal. A year after our family’s tragedy, a group of friends and I started a nonprofit at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles to provide chaplains of all faiths to CHLA. It was serving that community that healed my own loss and grief in unimaginable ways. The power to see an other’s pain somehow deflects your own. It is through serving others we gain empathy and perspective that puts us on the long path to healing.

Dr. Ervin Staub Ph.D wrote in his December 2011 article in Psychology Today entitled, The Altruism of Suffering that, “Healing, by talking about one’s suffering to  empathic others, contributes. Support from individuals and community, society embracing those who have suffered, is of great value. After some of these experiences, people may be ready to begin to help others, learning by doing that further changing them.”

When I asked my girlfriend Stephanie if I could start a Go Fund Me for her after she and her family lost everything in the Altadena fire. She asked me if instead I would consider starting a fundraiser for the Los Angeles Regional Food Bank, where she is a board member. My reply was, “You don’t own a toothbrush!” In the end, we did both. Each of us recognizing each other’s needs to help.  Stephanie recognized that her friends needed an outlet to heal  by supporting their Go Fund Me. While for Stephanie, supporting her beloved LA Regional Food Bank  is a way for her to begin the healing process while helping others.

As one friend told me, “Things don’t always end up how you hope or plan that they will.  We are discovering the most amazing support from our community and everyone around us. I am reminded daily of the love that surrounds me during one of the most difficult times in my life.”

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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Charity Matters Inspiration

The power of love

2025 has already been a year of ups and downs. Moments of extreme joy and sadness. It reminds me of the opening line from The Tale of Two Cities,” It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” Sadness all around and yet such willingness to help, so much goodness and kindness. It is all a little much some days.

This past week felt more like it was the best of times. The week started off with being a guest on Jay Frost’s DonorPerfect Philanthropy Masterminds Podcast where we discussed the power we have to make a difference. If you want to listen you can catch it here.

Then I was asked to speak to three different groups about Change for Good and the healing power of service and the power of love. The National Charity League in Orange County was amazing and it was wonderful to share the importance of inspiring and modeling giving to our teenagers. These women are doing incredible work and it was such a thrill to see the power of community in action. Anything is possible when we all come together to help one another. We are seeing this over and over, especially in Pasadena. It renews me and my belief that people are truly good.

At USC and the Catholic Fellowship League I spoke about the power of love or the real definition of charity, love of mankind. It was after all, Valentine’s Day last week. I thought I would share a little of my words here because love isn’t just about one day a year. It is something we should give away everyday.

I know that change always begins with loss, when you listen to God you find grace, your gifts and gratitude and that if you want a life of purpose it is one of faith and service.

When our one short precious life comes to an end, is anyone going to talk about your weight or your bank account at your funeral? No! They are going to talk about how you made people feel, who you helped, how you lived and how you made the world better through your kindness and love.

 I am not a perfect example of this but the hundreds of nonprofit founders who I have interviewed are. Their stories and lives are in this book and their examples of how to live and give. This is what we should all be focusing on because this is what really matters. There is no silver bullet for life. If there was a silver bullet it would be helping another person. It is the one and only thing we can all do to affect change for good.

So today, I leave you with this challenge: 

Find one way—just one—to lead with love. Maybe it’s writing a note of encouragement. Maybe it’s volunteering for a cause that speaks to your heart. Maybe it’s simply telling someone, I see you. I appreciate you. You matter.

Because love is the greatest force for good that exists. It is the foundation of every act of kindness, every movement for change, every moment of transformation.

And the best part? It’s already within you. So let’s go out and use it. Let’s change the world—not with grand speeches or big plans—but with love, one small act of kindness at a time.

Life is precious, life is short. Use it well and use your one beautiful life to change someone else’s. It is the best thing you can ever do to Change for Good.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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Cancer

Episode 83: Robin Cancer Trust

It is a lovely gift when people around the world reach out wanting to have their story shared with our Charity Matters community. With 1.6 million nonprofits in the United States alone, it is hard to even begin to share the stories we have here. It is a rare moment when we have conversations with our friends across the pond. Since cancer knows no boundaries and affects so many regardless of where you live, I wanted to share this amazing organization and family with you.

Toby Freeman’s family was living a lovely life until his oldest brother Robin was given a shocking diagnosis of cancer at the young age of 23. Twenty million people will also receive that diagnosis each year around the world but not all of them will act to serve others. Join us today for a beautiful conversation on the power of love, family, community and legacy. We all have the power to make a difference and Toby’s story is a beautiful reminder of what happens when we do.

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Robin’s Cancer Trust does?

Toby Freeman: The Robin Cancer Trust is the UK’s only testicular and ovarian cancer charity. We cover both of those cancers  and we do education, awareness and support in schools, colleges, businesses all across the country, delivering life saving awareness talks.

We’ll go in talk to the students and have all of our very funny and very big prosthetics, a really fun engagement tools.  We pull up the headmaster, make them check themselves in front of the class in a safeguarding way. They have a pair that they can check and then we go out to festivals and  universities reaching students and young people there. We also reach millions of people online with our campaigns. And then we do support for our community as well. So we do free Cancer Support packs for anyone affected by those cancers anywhere in the UK. Then we send out additional resources to support them during that incredibly difficult time of their life.

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about your Family Growing Up?

Toby Freeman: I would say my parents are just so unbelievably selfless.  There’s a national charity called Bliss, and my mom headed up our local chapter.  I remember packing things and her talking to us about it and why it was so important. My dad used to help with loads of local organizations, and they’d always get really involved in anything we were doing.

I’m the youngest of three boys, so there was a lot to be done, but they were at everything we were doing sports and school wise. They were at theater productions, helping us. They we did Boy Scouts, which obviously a big part of that is giving back.  I just have this feeling of my parents selflessness was something I’ve always been very aware of. 

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start Robin’s Cancer Trust?

Toby Freeman:  I always say experience breeds empathy. I think you have to go through something to be able to empathize with it. When these big, traumatic things that can happen in life, a lot of empathy comes out of them.

Rob was my elder brother.  Rob and I were very, very close when we grew up.  He was my best friend as well as my elder brother.  As we were getting older, he used to ferry me around and look after me and make sure I got to football on time. Rob was in his prime of his life.  He was 23, fit, gym guy, healthy clean eating, training all the time and looking after his body. He was very health conscious and he was diagnosed with a stage four mediastinal germ cell tumor.  He had a testicular tumor in his chest that got to the size of a grapefruit wrapped around his heart and his lungs. It just hit us absolutely out of nowhere. 

I just watched my brother go from the prime of his life to an absolute shell of himself both mentally and physically.  By Christmas time we were  thinking, what’s just happened to us? How has this just happened to us?

We were sat around the table, and we’d made a promise to Rob that we’d never let him just be a photo on the wall. It was never our intention to put him at the forefront of everything. What we did realize was, if someone as health conscious, as fit and active as Rob was could be diagnosed at that later stage and ignore signs and symptoms, then there was something to be done.

During that entire year, we couldn’t find any information about the type of cancer he had. We searched Google, and there was just nothing, and we just felt so alone and untethered.  We didn’t want another family to feel that way.  My dad’s a very pragmatic man. He said, “If we are going to do something, we need to research it thoroughly, understand what the problem is and how to fix it.  We need to create something that isn’t a grief reaction. Something that is actually needed and can outlast us.” So from day on we wanted to be able to step away from this at some point. We want other people driving this. There’s been a beautiful 12 years of seeing this grow .

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Toby Freeman: I think the biggest challenge was navigating the grief. I think two things saved me during that time. First, my now wife treated me with a lot of TLC and gave me the kick up the butt to go to grief counseling.  Second, the charity because it gave me something to focus on when that cup was empty. Actually doing something good, putting something positive out in the world, even if that’s just thinking about a project you could do. It just helps fill that cup up every day.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Toby Freeman:  A very patient partner. Everyone grieves in such different ways in a family unit, right? No one talks about how this is really difficult. We did have this unifying thing to be positive about during that time. So I think that was really powerful. My father’s still on the board, and he loves being involved. My mum, my brother have stepped away for various reasons over the years. This has been something that tethered us, because it’s so easy to become so untethered in how everyone’s feeling in those moments

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Toby Freeman: How do you measure awareness? We were education and awareness based. That’s why we started because no one was covering that. We listened to our community and realized they needed more support.  We provided that service. Awareness is ethereal. You don’t know we’re teaching life skills effectively. We’re asking a 15 year old say, check yourself and if you found something, go to a doctor. But that could be 20 years down the line.

We’ve seen a dynamic shift in the UK to fund as being much more amenable to anecdotal feedback. Real life stories having a tangible impact. We have feedback forms for all of our talks  I can track how many people are landing at certain places on the website. So if I am at certain events, you can have certain links and see 300 people from that event landed on that website. I know that’s an impact. What action they’re taking in the comfort of their own homes, in their baths, in their bedrooms? I don’t know. What we  struggle to track is what is the end impact? Because you can’t be a charity that goes to someone newly diagnosed and say, “Did our resource help you? “

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Toby Freeman:  Being unemployed, because if someone cures cancer, I don’t have a job. I’d be the happiest unemployed man in the world.   I would say the biggest goal for us is reaching every young person in the UK at school level.  That’s where we’re going to have our biggest impact because we are teaching life skills.

If we also work with all the hospitals in the UK to make sure that anyone diagnosed has access to our free Cancer Support packs and ongoing resources. Then from both points, from an awareness and a support point, I think we have done our jobs.  

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Toby Freeman: That’s something I reflect on quite often. We  have a podcast called Thrive Against Cancer,  where I get to interview people affected by cancer at all stages of their journeys.  I think that gratitude for life takes some people almost forever to understand, to just be able to step back and know what is important and what isn’t important.

How lucky am I to have a happy and healthy family?  So I’ve got no complaints whatsoever. And I think that’s the biggest lesson,  I am grateful to be reminded of at least every two weeks when our podcasts come out. You just get all of this information from everyone else and you can’t sweat the small stuff when you know how much big stuff there is out there in the world.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Toby Freeman: Someone once asked me in an interview, “Do you think Rob would be proud of us?” I don’t think he’d be able to recognize me in a good way.  I think when you lose someone, you want to take the best parts of them as well.  My brother was a very responsible man. He really focused on his health and fitness. And for me, over the last few years, that’s really become really important. Putting myself first.  I realized I couldn’t tell other people this without living it.

I’ve just taken it feels like a 180 the way I was. I was very young. I try not to beat myself up. I didn’t handle that year of Rob being ill, Rob’s death, I didn’t handle that very well. I am so lucky to have the people around me that got me out of that and put me on a good path. The charity has given me purpose, and that has defined me as a person that’s helped me be responsible.

Having soaked up so much life experience and being around people that have been through even more, is it just has completely defined who I am.  I’m so grateful for that and to have that opportunity to be who I am.  I’m really proud, and I think my brother would be too.  

Charity Matters.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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Charity Matters Inspiration

Putting What Matters First

We are a month past New Years, which feels like a million years ago, right?  For us here in LA, 2025 didn’t start out as planned. The fires that ravaged the Palisades and my hometown of Pasadena are still devastating to everyone. Oftentimes, it takes a tragedy to be reminded of what really matters. I can tell you as we evacuated we looked around after grabbing our photos, papers and dog and realized nothing else really mattered.  What I do think, regardless if you evacuated or not, is that you take a serious assessment of what really matters to you.

For us, this recent tragedy put life more in focus of what we care about. As a result, my husband and I tried a different approach with the things we hope to achieve and how we want to live this year. We spent time together discussing what is important to us and what we want to do this year together. Because of that conversation, we broke our year down into quarters and decided that we would go on one mini adventure per quarter. Then we reached out to a few friends and asked if they wanted to join us and we began to create a plan.

The goal was to fill up our jar or in this case calendar with golf balls. Have you ever seen the famous video where the professor fills a jar with golf balls?  He describes these four golf balls as the most important things in your life. For most of us those golf balls are family, health, friends and community. Next the professor puts pebbles in the jar with all of life’s have too’s the birthday parties, the work obligations, you get the idea. Then comes sand followed by water. His point is that most of us don’t start with what matters first.

This year we are starting with fun, family time and prioritizing  those memories first. I am determined to make more real connections. The old fashioned in person type. So much of our days are spent on zoom or phone calls but not in person and it can be lonely. Creating moments where we can be with the ones we  love also gives us something to look forward to.

Connections come in many ways and one of the best ways to create connection is to serve, volunteer or help someone. Last year the Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy, called loneliness a public health crisis.  A recent study from the American Psychiatric Association found that 30% of adults say that they have feelings of loneliness at least once a week and 10% saying that they are lonely everyday. The poll’s definition of loneliness was “feeling like you do not have meaningful or close relationships or a sense of belonging.”

One easy cure is to help others and get involved. When we volunteer we are not on our phones looking at someone else’s life, we are living our own. Whether we are helping a student learn to read, helping families dealing with their loss or volunteering at our local food pantry, you are reaping all the benefits of service, most especially a sense of purpose. When we help others we lose site of our problems, we make connections and it reaffirms our impact in the world.

Since February is the month of love, it seems like a perfect time to create more connections, community and joy. Think about what matters to you, who you can help and start putting those golf balls in the jar first. The rest of life will fill itself in. Remember it is never too late to change your life for good or someone else’s life.

 

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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Charity Profile

Episode 82: ICL Foundation

What does Clive Davis, Novak Djokovic and civic leadership all have in common? The answer is today’s guest, Kirk Spahn who is a dynamic educator and nonprofit founder. Kirk tells us his inspirational story of combining his passions of sports, his friends, education and a deep civic duty to create what is now the twenty year old ICL Foundation.

Join us for a fun and super interesting conversation to learn how one 23 year old set out to help in a small way and today is transforming education by teaching thousands of students how to learn and lead. One person can make a difference and Kirk’s story and passion are proof. If you are looking to be inspired this New Year this is the perfect conversation to get you going.

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what The ICL Foundation does?

Kirk Spahn: The ICL Foundation, stands for the Institute for Civic Leadership. The word civic had sort of become almost an antiquated, somewhat dirty word, where people think of civics class selling something. Yet, when you break down what civic leadership is the true definition it’s building a prosperous community. It’s about helping others, and it’s something that I’d felt has been lost for a long time. I think coming back to the roots of civic engagement and civic leadership should be a pillar and a cornerstone of all education for all youth. So that’s why the Institute for Civic Leadership was created over two decades ago.

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about your early signs of philanthropy?

Kirk Spahn: My parents are teachers.. My father used to always say that when you support the next generation, you’re building the leaders of tomorrow. My grandfather coined an expression that I use all the time, which is finding the spark of genius in every child. Our job as educators was always to find what people are passionate about and sort of help support that and then make sure that there was always a purpose to giving it back. So I think at the same time, my mother  was always running nonprofits so my entire life was always about giving to the community. Her entire essence was just about selflessness and giving to others. 

I never said I wanted to run a school or found a nonprofit, but from very, very early it was, what can you do to help people? So I think it was ingrained. I had no idea when, how, why, where….

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start The ICL Foundation?

Kirk Spahn: My father said that after I graduated college, try to play your sport if you can become a professional great but look at the next couple years as your survey course and create experiences that you think will lead you to find what that is. And so I was in the strangest place when that catalyst for starting the ICL happened.

I was working for a record label, and I have no musical talents, but I love music. I was working for Clive Davis, we had had a lot of meetings with Tom Freston, who was the founder of MTV Networks, and he was running VH1.  I happened to be living in New York on my own with two NFL linebackers for the New York Giants.

The sad catalyst for ICL was actually the tragedy of September 11th.   I was in New York working a record label. After September 11th, there was a movement of like, what can we do? I was living with people that had a platform and I was in these meetings with these artists who were big time celebrities and I said, “What can these artists do?

  I met with my father and a reverend, and I brought in these people from Saudi and we had a round table and said, “How can we get youth engaged?” And everyone looked around, and said Kirk, “What do you think?” And I said, I’ve seen the power of celebrity but nobody knows what their journey was. No one saw the work they put in to become one.

The idea was, why don’t we put together a conference on Martin Luther King Day, and we’ll call it the Dare to Dream Conference. It’ll be supported by MTV and at the Museum of Natural History, where my mother was a board member.  The museum said, that sounds great. Because we were in education, we had a directory of 1000s of schools, and we said we’ll put on a free event. And the goal was just to share the journey of these celebrities, but to really show the common themes of sort of oneness of what we can do.  Youth can make an impact and helping them find a passion and a purpose.   Big words for us was always passion and purpose to help build a better world, and it has to be something that comes within. January 17, 2002 was the inaugural Dare to Dream Conference. 

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Kirk Spahn:  Looking back at the transformation and metamorphosis of the ICL Foundation, the spark and the mission stayed the same. Everything evolved in good ways. It was kind of going to be a one and done, and here we are.

The challenges looking back were very clear. 100% as most nonprofits will say, comes around funding. It is not fun to ask other people for money.  I can never go toe to toe and say this organization is more important than that organization.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Kirk Spahn: There’s no doubt that the greatest joy was just being with the kids.  It’s so cliched, but to see transforming kids lives forever and then it may come back. You may not know it at the time, because kids don’t say thank you. They’re not like, Oh, thanks so much for this opportunity. But the kids that we impacted, it happened fast, and the appreciation  we could see was the impact. So I think that keeps motivating the parts I didn’t know on the icky days.

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Kirk Spahn: So impact is really hard to qualify and quantify, and that’s been a challenge for two decades. What I think is great about ICL is that we’ve created scorecards. We call them impact reports and we like to think of ourselves as a multiplier effect.  When you’re helping to fund an ICL fellow or a program that we’re doing.

We evolved from conferences into what we really saw was missing in education was a focus on service, leadership, and character. Today they refer to it as social emotional learning, there was no SEL in the early 2000s but we knew.  We could show that students that had gone through leadership training for others, character, self awareness, becoming kind of their own coaches, where they’ve tried to start their own nonprofits have started from an early age. They were performing better in school and had become school leaders. We could see pretty soon how these kids were having an impact on the rest of their schools.

So we started by creating an award winning curriculum, and that was the hardest thing to qualify and quantify, social emotional learning. We were very fortunate after that first Dare to Dream Conference to have access to celebrities.  I’m a big believer that when athletes, performers, business leaders, politicians, actually take the time off the record to share their journeys. It inspires kids, and just hearing the story and not the end result, gets them motivated. 

 That really became the idea that you promote engagement, application and mastery and to support these kids who would then become the leaders of their school,  leaders of their community and became the models that people wanted to follow.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Kirk Spahn:  My goal is to transform education.  The problem with a lot of nonprofits is you’re reliant on others. So I said, “Why don’t we create an accredited school?” It’s called ICL Academy. We have 1000 students that were doing their academics, but we were also giving the mentorship. We call it a pyramid. There’s physical, mental, emotional and academic. Are all parts of what feeds a great leader, and all of the pieces need to be fueled. Imagine you have if you’re a tennis player and Monica sellers and Novak Djokovic are actually speaking to you and inspiring you. What does that do to your grades? If you can relate what you’re passionate about to your curriculum, what does that make you more engaged? What about the idea of starting your own nonprofit young, or starting a cause? 

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Kirk Spahn: It goes back to being mission driven, and the idea that when you inspire someone, and someone gets inspired, you want to take action right away.

I have a concept in education that we use at ICL that says, respect tradition, but embrace tomorrow.  I believe that teachers and mentors are still what motivates people. But I think a great teacher and a great mentor is not just someone who makes a subject matter come alive to inspire you. It’s also on the flip side, someone that believes in you as an individual, that the world might see the potential in you, and that doesn’t have to be in the same person. So at ICL Academy, we started looking at how  we teach life skills? How do we get more engagement? How can kids apply things to the real world and things they’re passionate about to make a difference.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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Charity Matters Inspiration

Giving is Selfish

The recent wildfires in Southern California have shown us the power of community . We have seen the best of people, even those who have lost everything, volunteering to help others.  Service heals in unimaginable ways and brings us together for good.  While I contemplated writing more about the loss and grief many of us are experiencing here LA and Pasadena I decided to switch gears keeping our regularly scheduled interview. The reason is that today’s guest understands and lives a life of service and giving as a major volunteer. She has a job, a family, a full life, a podcast and a book but she calendars major time to give back. I think with so much need right now in our communities. Jenn Klein is just the inspiration we need to remind us to get up and show up for one another.

Today’s guest is Jenn Klein who is truly a kindred spirit. Jenn is an author of the book, Giving Is Selfish, and has a blog and podcast called You are a Philanthropist. 

I am excited to share our conversation about the power of giving and how it can truly change your life for good. Jenn is amazing in how spreads joy, giving and kindness is all she does. I know you will be thrilled you got to meet her as well. If you have been overwhelmed from all that is happening from so much loss, this conversation might just be the cure.

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about your book, Giving Is Selfish?

Jenn Klein: Giving is Selfish is about my journey to better understanding philanthropy and I wanted to broaden the understanding of philanthropy to be more than just, excuse me, wealthy individuals giving millions and billions of dollars like Bill and Melinda Gates and to really encourage the everyday person to go out in their communities and make a difference in ways that they can in small and large ways.

And I started to stay home with my kids, and I learned about the power of caregiving and I came to understand more about philanthropy, through being a mother. 

Charity Matters: What Role models did you have growing up that showed you the path to giving?

Jenn Klein:  I think my parents are my greatest inspiration and role models, even in their 60s. They’re involved with things such as Rotary International, and they started off just showing me about giving in my church.  Then I became involved with the youth group, and we would do service projects  in Philadelphia. When I became a teenager, I became a junior Rotarian, so I would go to rotary with my dad. Service above self is the motto of Rotary. And my dad has been involved with the rotary for probably 30 years now.

When I went to college, I graduated and did not know what I wanted to do, but I knew that I wanted to help people. This family I babysat for were very philanthropic and said,” Oh, you should you have an English degree and get into grant writing.” So I started volunteering for the YMCA in the Boston area, and that turned into a grant writing position after I graduated. 

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to Write this book?

Jenn Klein:  I was a teacher’s assistant for my college professor and she said to me, “What do you want to do after you grow up? She was very kind and she knew I loved to read. She took me up to the library, and I said, “You know, I want to write a book one day.”  It was definitely a God thing, because there was something in my heart 20 years ago that I should write a book, and it was really a 20 year dream come true.

I originally, just like you, started off blogging, and it gained some traction. Someone said, “You should write a book.” And it stuck with me for about a year and a half before I said yes that I will write this book 

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Jenn Klein: I think the challenges are getting the word out there. Like you said, there’s not a lot of people like you and I who are advocating to the general public for the nonprofit sector in general.  And like you said, there’s not a lot of people who are championing the health benefits, the all the physical benefits, mental and you know the reasons why it’s fun and exciting to give. So breaking through the noise of the negativity of the news is a challenge.  I like just chipping away at what I feel I should be doing today.  Some days that means doing the laundry and serving my family. 

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Jenn Klein: I started a gratitude practice that has been transformational.  There’s something transformative when we write down what we’re thankful for every day. It could be small things or big things. I like to ask my kids what they’re thankful for, and we always come up with different things together. So having a gratitude practice is really fuels me.

My faith in God obviously fuels me. My favorite quotes is by Mother Teresa, who said, “If you can’t feed 100 people, then feed just one.”  I like to think about the impact that I’m having in my everyday life, with my kids and with the volunteer activities I have. I’m their soccer coach, a parent ambassador and tomorrow am volunteering for the local food pantry.  I feel thankful that it all boomerangs back to me.  I like to say we’re hardwired to give. There’s something in me that enjoys giving.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your Book, what would that be?

Jenn Klein: One in four Americans volunteer, and recently I heard the statistic from AmeriCorps that it was raised to 28%.  I love to think about that number growing and growing with more people volunteering.  It’s going to get us healthier,  make the world a better place. and it’s fun. So I’d like to see more people volunteer.

Charity Matters: Do you have a motto or expression that you live by?

Jenn Klein: My life verse is Philippians: 413. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  I believe I can do it all  because of my faith in God.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Jenn Klein:  I like to say that you have to have a balance. If you’re not giving to yourself, then you’re not going to have the capacity to give to others. You have to fill your own cup in order to pour into other people’s cups. I feel like I’m able to give because I have a balance and I know what my tipping scale is.

I try to prioritize my family first, and am really role modeling for my kids. Having them understand the importance of giving back is a high priority for me. So it’s really important for me to raise that next generation of do gooders and change makers, and they’re my priority.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Jenn Klein: I think I’m more passionate and excited and more optimistic through writing a book. I’m going to write a second book this year. I want to continue to get the word out there that this is fun, this is good for us, this is good for others.  I did put a statistic in my in my book, that of the folks who don’t volunteer, 90% of them say,” If I had more time, I would volunteer.”

There’s so many good nonprofits out there. Aligning your personal mission and vision with a nonprofit, and plugging you in with your time, talent, treasure. This is what is going to make the world a better place.  I don’t have millions to give and but this is my way of saying, “Hey, I know you don’t but let’s just do what we can and make a difference in that one person’s life.”

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

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Ways to make a difference

The Distribution of Love

This past week regardless of where we live we watched some of the most devastating fires sweep across LA and my home town of Pasadena and the surrounding communities. We were evacuated from the fires along with tens of thousands of people. We are the lucky ones because we are safe and our home is fine. Thank you to everyone who reached out. It was scary and surreal. Living in a canyon, fire is no stranger, but this was other worldly.  At least 10 of our friends and counting have literally lost everything with thousands and thousands more impacted. We are all in shock, devastated, depressed and the sadness hangs like the smoke.  The carnage is truly unimaginable.

The loss of every possession you own is beyond devastating but it is the loss of place that is worse. The place where your child took their first step. The place where you celebrated  birthday parties and back yard barbecues. The place where you lay your head at night is your place in this world. Your home is the place where your life existed and now there is no place. In Altadena and in the Palisades, not only are the homes gone but so are the churches, the schools, the markets and all of the places that create a community. All of it is rubble. Where is their place? It is the one thing our friends really need and the one thing we can not provide, their place. It is simply too much to comprehend.

What just happened was a death. The most unimaginable loss and as in most deaths, everyone you have ever known shows up in the first two weeks. There is more food, calls, and text than you can process. It is overwhelming the outpouring of love you receive when someone dies is overload. This is what is happening to all who have lost everything. They are in shock and our community is a hub of activity because there is a loss and people want to help.

We all feel better when we help but sometimes we do not think about the person who is receiving it. Do they need another casserole? Do they need clothes that I was going to give away or perhaps would they like to go and buy their own pair of socks? Oftentimes give without thinking about the recipient. We want to distribute our love and fill their closets but they don’t have a closet, just yet.

My life prior to nonprofits was in the software business, more specifically distribution. My job was to make sure that the software was sold into the distributors, who would then sell it to the stores and the consumer would buy it. Nonprofits work much the same way when you think about it. We are distributors of good, not necessarily goods. The nonprofit makes sure the consumer gets the product that they need. An important role for sure.

In a time of tragedy there is a time and place for many nonprofits to step in and help. However, if we can go directly to our families rather than through distribution, in this situation, I think it is more impactful. These families need cash and gift cards plain and simple. They will still need to pay their mortgage and find a place to live and pay rent. There will be a gap before insurance payments can be processed. Families will need socks, toiletries that they want to pick out because they like their shampoo and they will need money to do that.

For the first time, I am urging people to go direct to a Go Fund Me if you can. If you know someone who knows someone think about supporting these families directly. If you don’t and want to reach out I am happy to direct you to a few. Realize that like a death, the grief process is long and slow and everyone will need support more than just in the first two weeks. Support is sometimes a call, a text, a walk, a dinner invitation in your home.

While the casserole is lovely, it is when the silence sets in, in these coming months and years ahead that the need will be the greatest. Yes, give now and jump in but please, please do not forget these people the way we have forgotten about those in Maui and North Carolina. We need to continue walking with our own communities for the long haul because that is the journey ahead.

So many have asked for local resources to give and I wanted to share a few here. Please do not hesitate to reach out if I can direct you to a family in need or a school that is trying to support their students. Loyola High School at current count has 100 students without homes. Mayfield Jr. School has 21 families and Mayfield Senior has a large number of families who lost everything and these are just a few communities trying to support their own.

Nonprofits to support the LA/Altadena WildFires:

LA Regional Food Bank– The Food Bank is distributing food to many of the nonprofits on the ground and families in need. I have also set up a fundraiser for the LA Food Bank on the Charity Matters Instagram Account @CharityMatters or please go direct.

Baby2Baby–  This wonderful nonprofit is assisting with diapers, formula and all things families and children need when all is gone. They do amazing work and so far have distributed over 1.5 million emergency supplies to children impacted by the fires.

World Central Kitchen– I have seen Chef Jose Andres at the Pasadena Convention Center feeding fire fighters and people who are evacuated there. When there is a catastrophe anywhere in the world he is there to feed people and support. Chef Andres just recently received the Presidential Medal of Freedom, a well deserved recognition.

California Fire Foundation– The Cal Fire Foundation supports firefighters, their families and the communities effected by fire. They are currently distributing $250 gift cards to families that lost everything.

Pasadena Humane Society– We had over 350 animals arrive the first night to the Pasadena Humane Society with burned paws and singed all over from fire. They need donations and have been overwhelmed with volunteers. The Humane Society is also looking for families to take in animals and foster them until their parents are found or in a place that allows pets.

Thank you all for the outpouring of love for our community. While this has been the worst of times, it has also been the best of times. Each act of kindness shows us the best of humanity. People are good, generous and kind. We are so grateful for all of the love you are sending our way to distribute.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

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Charity Matters Inspiration

The Choice and Power of Connection

As 2024 ended and the madness of the holidays ensued, a few great things happened that had me thinking about the power of connection. As a result, connection is my word for 2025. I was reflecting back on 2024 and realized that much of last year was spent in isolation. Writing is such an incredible journey but it is also a lonely one. In 2024, I spent seven months writing Change for Good: The Transformative Power of Giving as the Ultimate Cure. While I wasn’t alone on an island, it often felt like I was. It was a choice.

When we set off to achieve goals, we take time from one place to add it to another. We make choices. The goal was to write a bestselling book, by putting all of these stories in one place, inspiring others to serve. The choice last year was to write every night. The result was a bestselling book and trust me I have no regrets. The consequence of that choice was less time with those I love in real connection. We all make choices with our goals but sometimes those choices have unforeseen consequences. This year the choice is for real connection.

Years ago my husband and I were on a cruise and an announcement came over the loud speaker announcing the days’ activities in a crisp British accent. The percer said, “Are you connected but not connected? Join us for today’s conversation about how to be more connected.” We did not attend the workshop but spent much of our time in the proceeding days looking at couples staring at their phones and not into each others eyes and deciding that they were CBNC-Connected but Not connected. Something we still observe years later.

This past year I was CBNC. I was connected to hundreds of people with schools I work with, nonprofit founders interviewed, my writers group but all via zoom. Most of my days were spent on back to back zooms and my in person meetings dwindled with the convenience and of course LA traffic. That was a choice, to make life easier and save time and not to meet in person. The consequence of that choice was a lack of real connection. Connected but not connected.

To be my own devils advocate, I also made some incredible new connections because of Zoom, LinkedIn and mutual friends that were amazing. I had a lovely group of women from Connecticut called The Good News Girls reach out and ask me to speak about the book. The founders, Susan and Mimi shown above, are two remarkable women who have created a community both online and in person where they are having important monthly conversations about community, connection and making a difference. They have found the sweet spot of both technology and in person. These amazing women really got me thinking about the power of connection and what they are building should be replicated and or expanded, it is fantastic!

A week before the holidays, I was scrolling and came upon a site called You are a Philanthropist. I was instantly intrigued and so I reached out via instagram direct message, something I never do! As a result, the amazing Jenn Klein and I connected and had a lovely conversation. Spoiler alert: You will get to know her in an upcoming interview. I made a new connection with a kindred spirit simply by reaching out.

The week after Christmas, I came across a post on LinkedIn where Jay Frost, a highly regarded rock star in the philanthropic world, was asking about who has written the next great book on giving? To my shock, my name and book were listed and recommended by none other than my new friend, Jenn Klein. The next thing I new I was having a conversation with the delightful and charming Jay Frost. The power connection.

The knife cuts both ways. We can create connection when we reach out. Technology is not always the enemy. The trick is navigating the balance. That is my challenge to myself in 2025. To create authentic connections like I did with Jenn and then find a way to use those authentic and real connections to connect in person. Or to try and find a balance when the zoom schedule is overloaded to meet up with friends.

While I don’t have the answer, I do know that this year I am reaching out and setting up in person dinners, coffees, visits with those that fill my cup, make me laugh and inspire me to be a better person. The choice is real. The power of connection is what creates community. Strong connections create strong communities. Strong communities create strong cities, states and countries. It all starts with us, our choices and the power of connection.

 

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

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Charity Matters Inspiration

New Years is a time for change

Happy New Year! This is one of my favorite times of year. The pace of life slows to a crawl as we all recover from the holidays. We take a moment to just be and we begin to reflect on the year behind us and the one ahead. It is this magical place in time that does not rush. While the days are darker and shorter they are not hurried, they are slower. Which is exactly what we need as  we walk the bridge between past, present and future.

In order to move our lives ahead, we must take some time to look in the rear view mirror and see what we accomplished in 2024. What did you love about last year? What were those moments that brought you the most joy and why? Where did you go and who did you meet that made your heart full?  So often we are rushing through each day checking off our list that we miss those moments of joy right in front of us. Did you miss any or did you catch them all?

My husband says that I talk about death a little too often. If death has ever knocked at your door or someone you love you realize how short and precious our lives are. We have so little time to do what we really want to do on this earth. My philosophy is that we need to reverse engineer our lives, work from our funeral backwards. No, this isn’t morbid, hear me out. At our funeral what do we want people to talk about? How rich we were? How thin we were? NO, we want people to talk about how we lived and how we loved. We want to be remembered for how we treated others and made them feel. How we brought joy and kindness to each place we entered. Why? Because these are the things that truly matter.

As we take a moment to think about what we want this New Year to look like, let’s think about what matters to us most. How are we spending our time and with who? Do we adore our family and our aging parents, then let’s schedule those trips. My sister and I have decided to take our dad on monthly field trips this year. It could be just to a museum or to visit an old friend. We have made time with my dad and making those memories our priority. What are your priorities and who?

It is so easy to make a list of New Year’s resolutions but this year lets go a little deeper. Think about this day in 2026 and what do you want to see in your rearview mirror? What will you be thrilled that you accomplished? The real question to ask yourself is how do I want to define my year?

We all have a love and hate relationship with change. We love change once it’s behind us and we fear any change that is ahead. So start looking back and dream and what you want to see. Then look ahead and get that calendar out and mark those dates. Those are the gifts you give yourself. You deserve them.

Let’s not focus on being thinner or richer this year, instead let’s focus on how we can change for good. We all have the power to change our lives and others for the better. This year seems like a great time to start doing that. Cheers to you and all the good ahead. Happy New Year!

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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Charity Matters Quotes

We Wish You a Merry Christmas

“May Peace “be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through!”

 Author Unknown

So many gifts have come this year. New friends, moments of joy and celebration, new creations and a renewed sense of purpose. Each of you continues to be a gift of goodness as we work together to create change for good. This year year my gift for you this year is this sweet poem from Kay Hoffman:

The gifts I’d leave beneath your tree,
Aren’t those that you can touch or see,
No toys meant just for pointless play,
But gifts to bless you every day.

The gift of friendship is warm and true,
Is one that I would leave for you.
Good health and happiness and cheer
To keep you smiling through the year.

The gift of peace that comes from God,
With a prayer to guide each path you trod.
And when your heart has lost its song
The gift of hope to cheer you on.
These are the gifts I’d leave for you.

So may we, too, remember with thankful hearts the love that comes with each present we open and cherish the time with those that we love. Wishing you all the very merriest Christmas!

Charity Matters.

 

 

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