I went to a school whose motto was “Actions Not Words.” This phrase was repeated my entire life in Kindergarten through high school and after a while, it does start to sink in. A few weeks ago, I was speaking to the Alumni relations coordinator at my alma mater. She mentioned an incredible alumnus that I needed to meet, Abeni Carr. She went on to tell me that Abeni was not only a high school principal in Compton, CA but in addition had started a nonprofit when she realized a number of her students were homeless.
I am so excited to share our conversation about Abeni’s work helping high school youth deal with homelessness, her journey in founding Haven’s House Youth Services, and how she juggles it all. Actions Not Words definitely made an impact.
Here are a few highlights from our conversation:
Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Havens House does?
Abeni Carr: We really support homeless youth specifically and much of our focus goes for high school-age youth that are dealing with housing instability. We make hygiene packets, we also help with young people getting housing, we’ve helped with young women who’ve been trafficked, making sure that they are getting to safety and making sure they get lawyers, and we try to pay for some of their fees.
We’re hoping to expand to have a community center where we can really have our clothing closet and be able to support high school-age youth, which I think is one of the most vulnerable populations. We started doing this work in 2018 and now we are in three different areas throughout LA County.
Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start Havens House?
Abeni Carr: I was adopted when I was three by my mom and I purposely waited until I was 30, to look for my biological family. I found both my birth mother and my birth father about six years ago through a lot of Google searches on Facebook. Immediately we were united and then about a year later, I just went through the process of meeting my siblings.
My sister Miracle, from my birth mother, came out to meet me with her boyfriend. When I’d asked her a question, her boyfriend would answer it. I thought it was very odd and so just through talking to her, and my mother I found out that my sister was being trafficked.
I ended up helping her and it really made me turn around and look at my students. Do I have students that are homeless? We realized that maybe we did and just don’t know. So my school started doing the work. We had to figure out how do we identify our students? Sure enough, I did have some students that I had no idea had been dealing with housing instability. Because people don’t willingly come to a school and say, “Hey, we’re dealing with homelessness.”
One day I got like five phone calls for different needs. Some people needed, a hotel to stay at and another family that was living in a car. The school found out and asked me, “Do you know where they could get help? ” I thought with the multitude of phone calls there’s a great need. So I really just started reaching out to everybody I know. I have a great group of friends and we just came together and said, “Let’s help out as many people as we can.” That’s how Haven’s House got started.
Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?
Abeni Carr: I know my dream. I want to be able to build a campus that has a school, mental health, a community center, and housing. Kind of like a one-stop-shop where we build a community and where students know it’s a safe place for them. Like Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, but it’s really true, right? If we can build safety, the home, the access to food, then you know, that’s the first step to even get them to that next place. So I would love one day to be able to have our own little community on the same campus. A place where there’s schooling, there’s shelter, there’s a community center and we help them with job readiness.
Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?
Abeni Carr: I’m just very goal-driven. This work has really shown me how to slow down and really listen to people. Everybody really does have a story. Sometimes as a leader, I didn’t really take out the time when I was younger to really hear people out. I felt like my way was the right way. In time, I’ve really learned to slow down, delegate and trust people. Just like I’m asking my young people, to trust me. You have to start trusting other people that they can get it done too.
Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?
Abeni Carr: I got into education a long time ago, not because of the honors and not about what you’re going to get back from it. But I will tell you, this cohort that we have right now, every single one of them got into college. We’re giving them the tools to learn, how do you advocate for yourself when you do go to college? Or how do you get a job? We are really trying to end cyclical homelessness. One of our board members actually was one of our clients. Now she’s 24 years old, has a job she’s living on her own. Every day she asks, “What can I do to help?” I think that that’s what really reminds me why are we doing this.
If you can help people with the tools to get on their feet, they will turn around and help somebody else out. Right? You want to take it from cyclical homelessness. So when there are those hard days, I remember Marie and the other young people that I’ve been able to help out. They have turned around and now become amazing advocates for other young homeless youth that now they’re helping, and mentoring. Being able to share their experience and say,” This is temporary, you can make it through this.”
CHARITY MATTERS.
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YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT, IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER.
Copyright © 2021 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.
