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Episode 94: Penny’s Flight

Some stories meet you in the deepest places and still lift you higher. This week, you’ll meet Kate Doerge….wife, mother, builder of community……who turned the unthinkable loss of her daughter, Penny, into a living legacy called Penny’s Flight. What began in a cocoon of love and butterflies has become a national movement of students, families, and friends spreading wings for those living with neurofibromatosis. Kate’s pillars; finding beauty in imperfection, choosing positivity in the face of challenge, and having faith over fear…..these aren’t just slogans; they’re the way she gets up, puts both feet on the floor, and keeps going. You can feel Penny’s light in every word.

Frankie Doerge, Chad Doerge, Kate Doerge, Henry Doerge

If you’ve ever wondered how purpose is born from pain, or how one brave family can transform grief into hope for thousands, this episode is for you. Kate’s story is tender and electric, grounded and soaring….all at once. It will remind you that we always have a choice in how we play the cards we’re dealt, and that a single flutter can change the weather for someone else. Come listen, be moved, and like Penny……leave with a bigger wingspan.

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Penny’s Flight does?

Kate Doerge: Penny’s Flight exists to keep our daughter Penny’s big, beautiful light alive and to change the future for families living with neurofibromatosis (NF). NF is actually the most common genetic condition in the U.S., but it’s also one of the most underfunded. Roughly 1 in 2,500 people are affected, about 150,000 Americans, yet most people have never heard of it. Penny was diagnosed at four months old, and even then we refused to let a diagnosis define her. She lived joyfully for sixteen radiant years.

When Penny passed on November 11th, 2022, our community wrapped us in so much love that my husband and I knew we had to channel that energy into purpose. Within four weeks, we launched Penny’s Flight. Since then, wings have truly spread: we’ve raised close to $6 million, started more than a hundred student-led chapters at high schools and colleges, and rallied teams and towns around “Play for Penny” lacrosse games, “Pucks for Penny” hockey nights, bake sales…..whatever brings people together to shine a light. Our three pillars guide everything: finding beauty in imperfection, choosing positivity in the face of challenge, and having faith over fear. And our mantra, “It’s your wingspan, not your lifespan” is Penny’s message to the world.

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about Growing up? Did you have any role models that inspired you in this work?

Kate Doerge: My role models were my parents from day one. My mom was a dancer and an absolute beam of light….belly dancing, tap, jazzercise……you name it. She taught me how physical strength fuels mental strength and how movement lifts you out of darkness. My dad was a devout Catholic, a former Marine who once studied for the priesthood. From him I learned faith, service, and the belief that there’s something bigger than all of us.

Our home life wasn’t cookie-cutter. My mom might pick me up in leg warmers while other moms wore turtlenecks. We traveled to Haiti and the Dominican Republic in the 1980s, long before “service trips” were common….so I saw early what it meant to help beyond your comfort zone. That shaped me. In my career in PR and fashion, I was always asking, “Where can I make a real impact?” Those seeds of service were planted well before Penny’s diagnosis, and they sprouted the moment we needed them.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start Penny’s Flight?

Kate Doerge: I always return to my father’s advice the night before our wedding: “You will be challenged. It is up to you how you play the cards you’re dealt.” When Penny’s brain tumor, glioblastoma…..accelerated in her last two years, we chose to celebrate her life loudly. During her final week, instead of closing the doors, we opened the windows and invited everyone in. We created what I call a “love cocoon.” There were butterflies everywhere….her sign to us.

After we celebrated her life, my husband and I looked at each other and knew: we have to do something. My background is launching brands; his is finance. Our community was saying, “How can we help?” Four weeks after November 11th, we launched Penny’s Flight. It felt like Penny was our partner in it…..like she was saying, “Keep going.” Even on the day she passed, we took a family walk, got back in the car, turned the ignition, and “Walking on Sunshine”…her song blared from the radio though it hadn’t been on before. That was our first sign: move forward, one step at a time.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Kate Doerge: Grief and logistics don’t take turns. I had two sons, a husband, a home, a community of Penny’s sixteen-year-old friends who had never lost someone, and extended family…..all hurting. I felt a responsibility to lead with light, to model a path that others could follow. Practically, the challenges are familiar to every founder: building infrastructure while building momentum; sustaining funding; making noise in a noisy world. Add to that the complexity of medical research siloed efforts, niche subfields, and the realities of federal funding. Last year, NF’s federal allocation was cut; we went to Capitol Hill and advocated to restore it. It’s back on the bill for review, but advocacy never stops.

And yet the hardest challenge….turning pain into purpose….has also been our greatest teacher. Every day we choose the light. Every day we choose action.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Kate Doerge: Energy can’t be created or destroyed….it transforms. I feel Penny’s energy, and my parents’ too. I feel it in the butterflies, in the serendipities, in the way doors open at the exact moment you need them to. I also feel powered by the next generation. Students reach out constantly: “Can we host a game? A bake sale? Start a chapter?” Watching young people use social media for good….that’s rocket fuel.

Our community fuels me. Media friends like Norah O’Donnell shared our story on CBS within a week of launch, and Oprah Daily invited me to write about “playing the cards you’re dealt.” Brand partners like Veronica Beard, J.McLaughlin, Roller Rabbit asked, “What can we do?” Their platforms amplify NF awareness in ways research labs alone can’t. That collaboration…science, students, storytellers, brands….keeps me going.

Charity Matters: When do you know you have made a difference?

Kate Doerge:Impact shows up as a human story. A mom DM’d us: her four-year-old was just diagnosed with NF; she’d gone down a dark Google rabbit hole. That same day, she opened her mailbox to a J.McLaughlin invite for a Penny’s Flight event and found a different rabbit hole….hope. Months later, she organized a Blackstone Gives Back team, pitched Penny’s Flight, and won $125,000 for NF research. That’s a life changed turning into lives changed.

Another young woman with NF wrote when Roller Rabbit launched their butterfly pajamas for us. She said, “I never thought my favorite brand would support the condition I’ve lived with. I finally feel seen.” That sentence…I feel seen…that is impact.

And then there’s community: our first Penny’s Flight Family Jamboree drew 650 people….blankets on the lawn, kids running, live music on a summer night because Penny loved birthdays. We didn’t just raise funds; we raised each other.

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Kate Doerge: In two and a half years, we’ve raised close to $6 million, launched 100+ student chapters nationwide, and activated schools and teams through “Play for Penny” and “Pucks for Penny.” We’ve become a marketing engine for NF, partnering with Children’s Tumor Foundation to complement their strong scientific backbone with our storytelling and awareness. We brought leaders together at Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory’s Banbury meeting, a lock-in think tank of global experts because progress accelerates when silos come down.

On the research side, we’re funding work that’s already showing promise. For a disease as heterogeneous as NF, that means convening optic glioma experts next to cognitive researchers, next to tumor biologists, next to data scientists and pushing for shared insights rather than parallel tracks. When we measure impact, we count dollars and chapters and media reach, yes. But we also count new collaborations formed, young advocates trained, and families who no longer feel alone.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Kate Doerge: It’s not a dream….I feel it in my bones: we will find a cure for NF. That conviction is why I pour the same determination I once poured into giving Penny the fullest life into this mission. The roadmap is clear: sustained funding, coordinated research, relentless awareness, and a movement of people who believe that wings scattered from a thousand small actions can change the weather.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Kate Doerge: First, we always have a choice in how we play the cards we’re dealt. That wisdom from my dad has become a daily practice. Choose to move literally. Put your feet on the floor. One step. Then the next. Small, actionable steps carry you through the mud of grief.

Second, look for the signs. They’re real. Butterflies on the window in November. A radio that wasn’t on suddenly playing “Walking on Sunshine.” When you keep your eyes open, you realize our loved ones are with us differently, but powerfully.

Third, collaboration is oxygen. In research, in advocacy, in community building, the magic happens when we invite everyone to the table….scientists, students, brands, media, families. We each bring a wing to the flight.

Fourth, service multiplies. The “butterfly effect” is not just a metaphor….it’s a strategy. A student chapter post turns into a game night turns into a grant turns into a lab experiment turns into a breakthrough. Tiny flutters, big weather.

Finally, positivity is not denial; it’s discipline. Choosing beauty in imperfection and faith over fear doesn’t erase pain. It transforms it into purpose.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Kate Doerge: Three years ago, I couldn’t have imagined this life….writing a book, speaking about reimagining grief, launching workshops to help others navigate adversity and midlife reinvention, stewarding a national movement in Penny’s name. I used to search for the “one client” that would let me move the needle; now I see that the needle is people, and the work is love organized.

I am more certain, more grounded, and oddly, more joyful. I feel accompanied by Penny, by my parents, by a community that believes in light. I’ve learned that grief and gratitude can share a sentence. I’ve learned that teenagers can be fierce world-changers. I’ve learned that when you open your doors in the hardest week of your life, you teach an entire community how to love without fear.

Most of all, I’ve learned that it’s our wingspan…how far we’re willing to reach for others…that measures a life.Penny taught me that. Now it’s my job to help the world learn it too.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

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Episode 93: PopDrop

Some stories grab you by the heart from the very first line. John Snyder’s begins on a first date with his wife, Nikki, when the two of them decided to do something radically simple: instead of sending candy to their toner customers, they’d use that money to feed people experiencing homelessness. That small act became Project Pop Drop. A monthly movement  that rallies “givefluencers” to bring meals, new socks and clothing, and joy-filled experiences to shelters across Los Angeles. Today, Pop Drop is more than a delivery….it’s Easter bunnies and race cars for kids, partners who show up with food and gift cards, and even tiny homes that help families move from encampments into dignity and safety.

What makes John’s story unforgettable is his families full circle story.  I had the privilege of meeting John and his wife Nikki last week and they are a power couple in the best sense of the term. This week’s episode is a shot of hope and action, packed with contagious energy, hard-won wisdom, and tangible ways to help. If you’ve been looking for a reason to believe that giving changes everything…and how you can be part of it…don’t miss this conversation with John Snyder of Project Pop Drop.

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Pop Drop does?

John Snyder:  Project Pop Drop Foundation is something my wife, Nikki, and I founded on our very first date. We have a for-profit company…..Platinum International Products & Services…..and someone pitched us one of those “send chocolates and candies to every customer” programs, like Office Depot and Staples. We decided we didn’t want to do that. We wanted to save that money and buy food for people experiencing homelessness. What started as a simple program inside our toner business has blossomed into a nonprofit.

Since 2011, once a month, we go to a different homeless shelter and bring life-saving supplies and partners with us. Bombas donates socks. Whole Foods helps. Raising Cane’s is a big partner—they help feed people and share gift cards so folks can buy food later. Target’s a partner too. We call the people and companies who come with us givefluencers….we trademarked that……because they’re influencing the world by their giving actions.

Over time we’ve evolved. Nikki builds the days into experiences—Easter Bunny visits, race cars for kids living at the shelter, face paint, laser tag……so a hard season can include some joy and smiles. In the early years we’d just drop food. Now our customers and partners come with us, bring supplies, put Pop Drop boxes in their car dealerships and hotels, and give alongside us.

We’ve also grown into housing. We have seven Project Pop Drop tiny homes that are moving families from encampments into safety. Each has a door, a lock; on-site there are washers, dryers, showers, and games. All of this came from deciding not to send M&M’s to toner customers and, instead, to feed human beings.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start  Pop Drop?

John Snyder:  I’m an LA person, big Laker fan. As a kid, birthdays meant my dad took me to the Forum. Once, on the way, I mouthed off……I said something dumb like, “We don’t live that well.” He got mad, drove me to Skid Row, and showed me people sleeping in cardboard boxes. “Dad, people are living in those?” “Yeah. You’ve got it pretty good, don’t you, Johnny?” Right then I said, “When I grow up, I’m going to help those people somehow.”

Years later we did our first Pop Drop at Union Rescue Mission on Skid Row. I told my mom, “We’re going to give back every month” and she started crying. I asked why. She said, “Don’t say anything, but my father was homeless…..at Union Rescue Mission.” I never met him. He had a drinking problem and left when she was 12. I had no idea. We had started Pop Drop at the very place where my grandfather had been homeless. Full circle. That’s when I knew everything was connected and I was on the path I promised as a kid.

On our first date in Century City, Nikki and I said, “Let’s go every month.” Instead of customer gifts, we’d bring food and companies. She asked, “What’s the name?” I said, “I don’t want to show off.” She said, “If you want to expand and get people on board, make the giving pile bigger, you have to name it.” She pushed me. We named it, built donation boxes, and got them into our clients’ businesses. She said, “Make it an experience. You can’t just drop food and leave.” That’s how Pop Drop really began….organically and from the heart.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

John Snyder:  We’ve got four kids….triplets and our superstar daughter, Chloe….and we’ve brought them to shelters since they were six months old. In those early nonprofit years, we’d roll the triplets in this long “limousine stroller,” food piled around them, and meet other businesses bringing donations. We’ve been to Skid Row more times than I can count. I’ve had the car swarmed while delivering supplies, people yelling not-nice things through the window while my kids watched. We had to explain: “Don’t take it personally. This is about pain and survival. We’re here to help.”

COVID was the biggest challenge. LAUSD is a big partner; they run donation drives and have our boxes in schools. Suddenly the world shut down. People were told, “Don’t go to shelters.” Meanwhile, shelters are some of the cleanest places you’ll ever see. The whole distribution system, our nonprofit supply chain, broke. We pivoted to Zoom. Students made videos to get donations from families and parents’ workplaces. Wildly enough, during COVID we brought more donations doing it on Zoom than in person. So we kept going.

There was also the noise on social. “Oh, they’re still going to shelters.” “I saw them without a mask.” People were on their couch, and we were out making things happen with Zoom drives, deliveries, feeding people. That pushback actually fueled us. We weren’t going to stop helping people. Period.

Another challenge was resources. People kept saying, “Walmart put your Pop Drop boxes in their stores. Did you know they’ll give grants if you’re a nonprofit?” We became a 501(c)(3) in 2018/2019. That move helped when donations dropped everywhere; Walmart and Target support enabled us to buy more supplies and expand. We never had a grand plan. Things kept falling into place because we kept showing up every month.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

John Snyder: I like helping people. I like seeing faces when you help them. I like talking with people, giving hope and showing someone that somebody still cares. I’ve been in rough spots where people helped me, and I know what that means in the moment. It can be everything.

I love that we’re giving back and showing our kids…..and our kids are inspiring other kids. It’s contagious. I love when friends and business associates come with us and afterward say, “John, I’m so thankful we went. We’ve been looking for a way to give back.” People want to help; they just don’t always know how. We say, “Come with us.” That’s givefluencing…..bringing others into the act so the giving pile gets bigger.

And when people tell you to stop doing something you know you’re supposed to be doing? That fuels me too. If everyone had stopped during COVID because they were told to, a lot of people wouldn’t have eaten. We kept going. Educating others fuels me as well…..our online course, Giving While Making a Living, teaches businesses to pick a cause and create a simple monthly social responsibility system. Keep it turnkey: name it, pick the last Saturday at 12 o’clock, show up. If you don’t make it simple, you become a “Thanksgiving and Christmas philanthropist.” We’re about consistent, monthly giving.

Charity Matters: When do you know you have made a difference?

John Snyder:  When customers say, “We know we can buy toner cheaper on Amazon, but we choose you because of Pop Drop,” that’s impact. When companies ask, “How can we get involved?” and then start collecting donations, put boxes in their lobbies, and show up at shelters to make an impact. When a friend or client brings their team and says afterward, “We’ve been looking for this,” I know we made a difference.

I’ve watched kids inspire other kids. I’ve seen donations surge because a middle-schooler made a Zoom video. I’ve seen a day at a shelter turn from “drop and go” into an experience where kids in tough situations are laughing, gaming, and smiling. That’s difference you can feel.

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

John Snyder: Since before we were a nonprofit and now as the Project Pop Drop Foundation, we’ve helped contribute to feeding over 90,000 meals per month to people experiencing homelessness. Every month. That’s a big highlight.

We’ve empowered thousands of businesses “our givefluencers” to give back with us. We’ve expanded partnerships: Bombas, Whole Foods, Raising Cane’s, Target, Dave & Buster’s, LAUSD, and Impact 13. We’ve built seven tiny homes to move families from encampments into safety with a lock, a shower, a washer and dryer, and dignity.

We’ve been recognized along the way. We received a Gold Medal which is the President’s Volunteer Service Award from the White House. We were invited to the Pentagon because they liked Pop Drop. Walmart put our boxes in stores. Each of those moments opened doors to expand the giving.

But the thing I’m proudest of is the evolution from dropping supplies to creating experiences that bring joy and connection. That’s Pop Drop.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

John Snyder:  My dream is to change the way the world does business. I want every company to start a program within their business…..like we did before Pop Drop was a nonprofit…..where every single month they give back. Do it for the cause that’s close to your heart, homelessness or anything else, but do it monthly. Make it part of your DNA. I’d love to see extra tax credit incentives tied to that monthly commitment. I want a world full of givefluencers…..people influencing the world through giving actions.

Our course, Giving While Making a Living, helps push that into reality. A woman in Wisconsin bought it and finally started the nonprofit she’d dreamed about serving kids traumatized in childhood. I held her hand through it: naming, logo, shirts, accountability. Most people watch a course, get pumped, and Monday morning do nothing. We want action. I want to figure out how to scale that….maybe through something like the SBA….so more businesses step into monthly giving.

We have something special with “givefluencer.” There’s so much we can do to fuel more life from saving supplies and empowering more businesses to give. If we find that one big thinker, that magical person who sees what Pop Drop is and what it can be and helps us expand it. I’m ready to receive that partner.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

John Snyder: Everything is connected. You can live within your life’s purpose without it being the only thing you do. It’s perspective: a young punk kid says, “We don’t live that well,” and a dad drives to Skid Row to show cardboard homes; that kid says, “I’m going to help,” and later he does at the exact place his grandfather, who he never met, was once homeless. Full circle.

The lesson is to keep my eye on the giving prize. Name it. Show up monthly. Make it simple so it’s sustainable. Invite others so the pile grows. Remember why you started….people, not programs. Keep it real and keep it consistent, or you drift into being that “Thanksgiving and Christmas philanthropist.” We’ve seen that a simple, turnkey system like “last Saturday of the month at 12” is what actually keeps the giving going.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

John Snyder: It’s made me a nicer person. In business I used to be “sell, sell, sell”…..numbers, aggressive, go-go-go. We still have numbers in nonprofit, but Pop Drop humanized me. When you start something and discover your mom’s father was homeless in the very building where you began your giving, it’s hard not to see a higher purpose in that. This journey made me more faithful. It shifted me from feeding printers to feeding people, from transactions to connection, from me to we. And I don’t plan on stopping.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2025 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

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Episode 92: Shoulder Check

 

In the past fifteen years, I have not resent the same interview twice in one week. However, when I orginally scheduled this to be delivered last Thursday, September 11th I didn’t foresee all that would transpire the day before. The assassination of Charlie Kirk followed by the 24th anniversary of September 11th created so much noise that this very special story might have been missed. So, yes if you are seeing this twice it is intentional because I want you to have a bright light on your Sunday morning. Something to start your week to remind you of all the good in this world. So here you go….once again…

 In full disclosure, I know very little about hockey….especially as an LA girl…..but what I do know is that rare and extraordinary group of people who take unimaginable loss and somehow transform it into a mission for good. Today’s guest, Rob Thorsen, is one of those people. After the heartbreaking loss of his son Hayden, Rob chose to honor his memory by spreading kindness and compassion in the most powerful way.

Drawing from Hayden’s love of hockey, Rob used the term “Shoulder Check” not just as a sports reference but as the cornerstone for a movement. What began as a nod to the game has become a beautiful legacy of connection and care. Shoulder Check is about more than hockey…..it’s a mission and a movement about reaching out, checking in, and making contact with those around us. Rob’s story is one of resilience, love, and the reminder that even in the deepest grief, we can create something profoundly good. Take a listen and you will want to be a part of this…

 

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what ShoulderCheck.ORG does?

Rob Thorsen:  ShoulderCheck.org is the first initiative of the HT40 Foundation, which we created to do one simple, specific thing: inspire and enable young people to check in on one another…regularly. We give them the language, tools, and motivation to make “checking in” a daily habit. The culture we’re pushing against is that paradox the U.S. Surgeon General called out in April 2023: we’re hyper-connected by tech, yet lonelier and more isolated than ever. Shoulder Check is our answer.

It started in hockey, our son Hayden played, and the community rallied around us after his death but it quickly became bigger than a sport. The signature gesture is literal: hand on a shoulder, paired with the refrain, “Reach out. Check in. Make contact.” We do this in locker rooms, at center ice, in school assemblies, classrooms, and community events. The goal is behavior change through a simple ritual and a shared brand language…something memorable enough to spread, practical enough to use, and human enough to matter.

Charity Matters: What were your early experiences in PHILANTHROPY?

Rob Thorsen: I didn’t come up through a lifetime of traditional volunteerism; I came out of marketing and advertising. I ran ad agencies. My wife did, too. Ideas, brand-building, behavior change….that’s our professional DNA. After we lost Hayden, I didn’t set out to “become a nonprofit founder.” I set out to develop an idea that could help people the way Hayden helped people….by making contact.

In that sense, Shoulder Check “just happens” to be a nonprofit vehicle. It is, first and foremost, an idea carried by a brand and a toolkit. From day one we treated it like a serious creative brief. Our team (pro bono) built language, design, rituals, and programs the way we would any world-class brand……with clarity, consistency, and heart.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start ShoulderCheck.org?

Rob Thorsen: When Hayden died by suicide in May 2022, our lives were instantly and permanently altered. The first feeling was compulsion: we have to do something. I reached out to a national mental-health nonprofit whose executive director told me, bluntly, “Leave interventions to the professionals.” It stung, but at the same time, it focused me. She was right: I’m not an interventionist. I am a professional in another realm.

A few months later I sketched a simple thought in a notebook: “I have a hand to give. I could use a hand.” That became our north star. We began gathering with 30–70 kids at a time, at home, at the community center and iterating together. We wanted this to be everyone’s idea, not mine. The first crystallized concept to emerge was Shoulder Check: make kindness a contact sport, give everyone a role in the dialogue, and make the ask actionable.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Rob Thorsen: Processing grief and launching a nonprofit at the same time…..there’s no handbook for that. You’re building a startup out of a garage emotionally and literally, while processing the heaviest thing you’ll ever carry. We’re not clinicians. We’re not event producers. Yet we’re running programs and putting on major events because that’s what the idea requires to spread.

Operationally, the work is exhausting….production, follow-up, stakeholder care, constant outreach. Conceptually, the challenge is staying disciplined: we’re not trying to “do everything mental health.” We’re doing one thing well which is equipping friends to check on friends. The saving grace is that the idea is a virtuous circle. The very act of placing a hand on a shoulder….giving or receiving….feeds the work that sustains us.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Rob Thorsen: The stories. Constantly. We hear from people who finally knew how to start a hard conversation and did it……and from people who were struggling and felt their friends show up. Nearly everyone will accept help from a friend; Shoulder Check gives those friends simple language and a moment to step in.

And the ritual itself is its own therapy. When hundreds or thousands of people put hands on shoulders and say “Reach out. Check in. Make contact,” there’s a tangible lift in the room. You feel the possibility of a culture shift……one conversation at a time.

Charity Matters: When do you know you have made a difference?

Rob Thorsen: I know it in two ways. First, in the micro: when a young kid writes to say, “I went home and checked on someone because of Shoulder Check….and it mattered.” Or, “My friends came to me, and I didn’t feel alone.” That’s the point.

Second, in the macro moments. At our events, 2,500 people….families, players, kids….all link up and speak the refrain together. You watch the posture in the building change. You hear “Lean on Me” sung by an arena and feel the message land. Those moments are catalytic….but they exist to seed a million small, private ones later: on buses, in bleachers, down hallways, at kitchen tables.

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Rob Thorsen: We launched the idea with the Shoulder Check Showcase in August 2023; this year we hosted our third annual showcase. It’s a community-run charity game anchored by NHL players who’ve believed in the mission from day one….people like Chris Kreider, Kevin Shattenkirk, Trevor Zegras, and many others who donate a week of their time to play, meet kids, sign, and amplify the message.

Each year, 2,500 people pack the arena. Before the puck drops, everyone places a hand on a neighbor’s shoulder and repeats our refrain. The response has been overwhelming…..an emotional jolt you can see and hear. This year, New York Rangers anthem singer John Brancy performed the National Anthem and led a “Lean on Me” sing-along. The NHL, the NHLPA, teams, and media have all helped carry the message; we’ve appeared on Good Morning America two years running. The Showcase fuels grassroots adoption…..teams, schools, and communities taking the toolkit and making it theirs. That’s the impact we care about most: replication and daily habit.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Rob Thorsen: I want Shoulder Check to become cultural shorthand for empathy…..like a color you instantly associate with a cause. Think Komen’s pink for women’s health or Movember’s mustache for men’s health. Our teal-aqua should say “kindness, connection, and awareness.” Not as a merch play, but as a signal that prompts action: check on someone right now.

I imagine late-August/September activations timed to back-to-school and fall sports….teams, classrooms, clubs, workplaces…….all making commitments to one another. I want the toolkit to be accessible and flexible: bake sales, 5Ks, pre-game rituals, morning meetings…..however a community wants to manifest it. We’re not raising dollars for a lab; we’re raising awareness for each other. If Shoulder Check becomes the universal cue for “I’m here…..let’s talk,” that’s the dream.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Rob Thorsen: I’ve learned presence over control. In the immediate aftermath, your mind tries to script the unanswerable: Why did this happen? What will my life be a year from now? You can’t solve those questions. What you can do is show up….in this hour, with these people, for this work. When you do that, you give yourself something better than certainty: integrity.

I talk a lot about reflection vs. regret. Reflection is learning from what happened while knowing you did the best you could in the moment. Regret is knowing you didn’t. The line between them is presence. If we keep showing up as honestly as we can, we can live with the outcomes, even the imperfect ones, because we’re learning forward.

And I’ve learned about duality. The loss doesn’t lessen, but growth helps you understand where that loss lives with you. New people come into your life, new work emerges, and you hold both pain and purpose at once. That duality has become the constant: grief and goodness side by side. There is peace in knowing something beautiful can grow from tragedy, even if the sorrow never leaves.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Rob Thorsen: This experience has changed me completely. I sometimes think of myself in three chapters: original Rob 1.0, then Rob 2.0 after Hayden’s death, and now something new….a version who carries both. I wouldn’t say I live in the world in a totally different way, but I see differently. A part of me that was smaller before has been amplified. The idea itself feels like Hayden. Shoulder Check is Hayden. So I feel a duty of care, as if tending this work is tending him.

That sense of duality shapes me too. Pain and purpose live together now. When I watch a stadium of people place hands on shoulders and say our refrain, I think: How did this happen? It’s beautiful, and it’s born of heartbreak. Holding those together has become who I am.

And practically, I’ve changed in how I manage time, people, and vision. We’ve been naïve in believing that a good idea will just travel….and in many ways, that faith has worked. But we’re also at the point where we need to manage like a real business, with intention and sustainability. It’s a “big small business,” and its next stage requires maturity. That responsibility makes me a different leader and a different person.

Ultimately, the change is clarity. Less time for what doesn’t matter, more devotion to what does. More comfort in knowing that if I keep showing up honestly, this work and Hayden’s legacy will keep growing. And if my legacy is simply that people checked in on one another more often, that would be a life well-lived.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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Season 9 Premiere! Episode 91: Supplies for Success

Back-to-school season is filled with excitement for so many children…..the thrill of fresh notebooks, sharpened pencils, and a brand-new backpack ready for a year of possibility. But for countless students living in poverty, this same season brings a heavy burden of anxiety and shame. Instead of walking confidently into the classroom, they arrive empty-handed, feeling different before the first lesson even begins. The simple joy of new school supplies, something many of us take for granted, can make a meaningful  difference as these young students begin their new year.

This week on the Season Nine Premiere  we sit down with Mindy Richenstein, the founder of Supplies for Success, a nonprofit that has been equipping children with dignity and the tools they need to learn for more than twenty-four years. What began as a small effort to help 68 students has now touched the lives of over 300,000 children. In our conversation, Mindy shares her powerful journey of resilience, the heartbreaking loss that deepened her mission, and the joy of turning pain into purpose. Her story is a reminder that something as simple as a backpack can carry more than supplies……it can carry confidence, opportunity, and hope.

 

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Supplies For success does?

Mindy Richenstein: At Supplies for Success, our mission is to equip children with the essential tools they need to thrive in school and beyond. We believe that every child deserves a fair shot at success, and we know that education is the clearest pathway out of poverty. For twenty-four years now, we have been making that belief a reality.

Each year, before school starts, we provide children living in need with brand-new backpacks filled with the supplies on their class lists. It may sound like something small, but the difference it makes is enormous. When a child arrives at school looking just like their peers….with fresh notebooks, sharpened pencils, and a sturdy backpack—they feel included. They feel ready. They walk through those doors with dignity and confidence, rather than shame and embarrassment. That confidence can shape how they approach learning for the entire year.

Most of us have happy memories of back-to-school shopping: the excitement of choosing crayons, binders, or even the “perfect” pencil case. But for children whose families can’t afford these basics, back-to-school time brings anxiety and stigma. That gap in opportunity and self-esteem is what Supplies for Success seeks to close. Over the years, we’ve grown from serving just 68 children in our first year to helping over 300,000 nationwide. Every one of those children walked into school knowing someone cared enough to set them up for success.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start  Supplies for Success?

Mindy Richenstein:  Looking back, I think my path toward this work was influenced by my upbringing. My parents weren’t particularly involved in organized philanthropy, but they gave me the gift of unconditional love and instilled in me empathy, compassion, and strong values. In Judaism, we call this tzedakah, which is often translated as charity but really means justice. It’s not optional, it’s an obligation to make the world better. That belief has always guided me.

The first Supplies for Success drive began in 2002 when I learned of children who were starting school without basic supplies. The thought of a child showing up empty-handed broke my heart. That year, I organized an effort to provide backpacks for 68 children. It was simple, grassroots, and powerful.

Over time, our work grew. By our 18th year, we were serving more than 11,000 students annually. For many years we operated under the umbrella of UJA Federation of New York, which gave us wonderful support. But in 2018, they told us we had grown so large…with huge backpack packing events drawing in thousands of volunteers that it was time to become independent. That was daunting, but in 2019 we officially launched as our own nonprofit.

Then came March 2020. My beloved son Eric, just 37 years old, died in a ski accident. Six days later, the World Health Organization declared COVID-19 a global pandemic. My personal world had collapsed, and suddenly the entire world shut down too.

In the midst of grief, I found purpose. My daughter called, worried because her three-year-old son’s preschool had closed. As I comforted her, my mind went to first responders….mothers working in hospitals or nursing homes who had no choice but to work. What would happen to their children suddenly stuck at home?

I called our suppliers to see if they had art supplies. Two were open. Within two weeks, we created Eric’s Care Kits. Boxes of crayons, markers, and activities that we sent to food banks, hospitals, and nonprofits. They gave children a way to stay creative and hopeful, even in lockdown. Those kits became my lifeline. They gave me a way to honor Eric’s memory and turn unbearable pain into purpose.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Mindy Richenstein:  Time is always the biggest challenge. Supplies for Success has always been almost entirely volunteer-run. Aside from our dedicated college interns, we don’t have paid staff. Coordinating volunteers, assembling supplies, fundraising, and distributing tens of thousands of backpacks is a massive undertaking.

Fundraising is another challenge. Nonprofits are essentially small businesses, but with a very difficult business model…we rely on generosity. During the pandemic, we had to reinvent how we fundraised and distributed supplies since our large-scale events weren’t possible. That required creativity, flexibility, and resilience.

And then there’s the challenge of growth. Every year, the demand increases. Meeting that need while staying true to our mission and ensuring quality is a constant balancing act.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Mindy Richenstein:  The children fuel me. Their stories, their smiles, their dignity. I keep a picture on my computer of a little girl we helped who lost her mother at six, was removed from her neglectful father, and placed in foster care. She was embarrassed to start school without supplies. When she received her backpack, her smile lit up the room. I look at her and see myself as a little girl. Her story could have been mine, if not for the parents I was blessed with. That sense of gratitude drives me.

And Eric fuels me too. Every kit, every coloring book we create in his memory allows his light to shine on. Turning pain into purpose has been my medicine. It gives me strength to keep moving forward.

Charity Matters: When do you know you have made a difference?

Mindy Richenstein:  I know we’ve made a difference when I hear from teachers, social workers, or parents. A teacher might tell me that a child now proudly walks into class, ready to learn. A parent might share that their child no longer feels embarrassed. A social worker may say that our supplies gave a student the confidence to keep going and even pursue college.

Sometimes it’s as simple as a hand-drawn thank-you note. Sometimes it’s realizing that a child we once served has now become the first in their family to graduate. Those stories remind me that our work matters.

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Mindy Richenstein: Success, to me, is measured in both numbers and stories. From helping 68 children in our first year to more than 300,000 today, the growth speaks volumes. Last year alone, we served nearly 40,000 students. We’ve raised millions of dollars to make this possible—entirely from generous individuals, companies, and foundations. We’ve never taken government funding.

But the true measure of success is in the children. It’s in their confidence, their joy, their sense of belonging. It’s knowing that we’ve made education accessible to children who might otherwise have felt left behind.

We’ve also evolved our programs. Eric’s Care Kits provided creative outlets during the pandemic. More recently, we launched a Mandala Coloring Book, designed to support youth mental health and promote unity at a time when children are struggling with stress and the world is struggling with division. Each evolution has been about finding new ways to meet the needs of children in the moment.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Mindy Richenstein:  I dream of the day when Supplies for Success is no longer needed….when poverty is no longer a barrier to a child’s education. While I know that day may be far off, it remains the ultimate dream.

In the nearer future, I dream of expanding the reach of our Mandala Coloring Books, created in Eric’s honor. Mandalas symbolize unity and harmony. Coloring them reduces stress and builds focus. I want to see those books in schools, hospitals, and youth programs across the country, supporting children’s mental health and helping to counter hate with healing.

And personally, I dream of ensuring strong succession. After twenty-four years, I want Supplies for Success to continue thriving beyond me. A strong leader to carry this mission forward would be a dream fulfilled.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Mindy Richenstein: I’ve learned that I am stronger than I ever believed. Surviving the loss of my son and continuing this work has shown me resilience I never thought I had.

I’ve learned that action matters more than intention. Good intentions are beautiful, but they don’t change lives unless we act on them. Picking up the phone, sending the email, packing the backpack….that’s where change happens.

And I’ve learned that purpose is everything. I believe I am here because I have a mission to fulfill: to help children, to honor Eric, and to leave behind a legacy of love and service.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Mindy Richenstein: In some ways, I am the same person I was when I started…..compassionate, hopeful, driven by empathy. But in other ways, I’ve changed profoundly. I’ve grown into a leader, learned to take risks, and discovered the power of community.

This work has introduced me to extraordinary people…..volunteers, donors, social workers, and other nonprofit founders…who have become lifelong friends. It has deepened my gratitude and shown me the best of humanity.

Above all, it has taught me that love can multiply even in the face of devastating loss. Supplies for Success has shown me that when we act with compassion, we don’t just change individual lives…..we change entire communities. That knowledge has transformed me.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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Episode 89: Once Upon a School

As schools are getting ready to close for the summer, today we are talking about what it takes to start a school. This is an inspiring story of heart, hustle, and hope with a guest who turned compassion into action in the most powerful way. What started as a simple realization….a moment of wondering how a mother experiencing homelessness could possibly make it through the day….sparked a movement that’s changing lives and rewriting futures. Kate Kennedy founded a school for children without housing, creating a safe, supportive space where students can rise beyond their circumstances and write their own success stories.

Kate had with no formal title or nonprofit background, took on the impossible by raising millions, building a school from the ground up, and empowering families who are often invisible in our system. Her journey is a testament to the power of listening, trusting yourself, and doing what you know is right, even when the world doubts you. Get ready to be moved, motivated, and reminded that one person truly can make a difference.

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what The Ansley School does?

Kate Kennedy:  The Ansley School is a tuition-free private school in Atlanta for children experiencing homelessness. Too often, these kids fall through the cracks of the system, becoming part of staggering statistics. Without a solid education, the path to a successful life is nearly impossible. Our goal is to give these children the opportunity to write their own story of success, one that rises beyond their circumstances.

Charity Matters: When you were growing up did you have a philanthropic family or role models?

Kate Kennedy:  There’s an exercise I’ve done a few times where you map out your life timeline and mark the moments that stand out. Every time, a clear thread of service and community building runs through it. No matter what I’m doing, that piece is always there, and it definitely comes from my parents. When my mother passed a few years ago, people who didn’t know her or me read her obituary and said, “Oh, that’s you. Now I get it.” She was always active in the community, and I guess that spirit of service is just part of my DNA.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start The Ansley School?

Kate Kennedy:  I remember it vividly. I had spent 20 years at home raising my four kids. Before that, I was a television writer and later worked in a church with teenagers, where I became deeply involved in community service around Atlanta, especially with organizations serving the unhoused. Even while raising my children, I continued volunteering and serving on boards.

One of my sons is neurodivergent and has significant learning challenges. Despite having access to resources, networks, and specialized (and costly) programs, I still had to fight for him every single day to make sure he didn’t fall through the cracks. It was exhausting.

One day, driving through downtown Atlanta, I saw a woman sitting on the curb with her head in her hands, surrounded by four young children…one without shoes, another without a shirt. I passed that road all the time, but something about her stopped me. I thought, How does she do it? I was overwhelmed with support, and still barely managing. Then I thought about my son….what if one of her kids had the same challenges? If I could barely keep mine afloat, how could she possibly manage? That moment gripped me. I couldn’t look away. I couldn’t not act.

The school is called the Boyce L. Ansley School, named after Boyce Ansley who was a true force of nature. She was a mentor to me, a remarkable fundraiser, civic leader, and champion for bringing young professionals into philanthropy. One day, I shared my idea with her and said, “Someone needs to build a school for these kids.” She replied, “Yes, you do.” I laughed and said, “No, not me but somebody.” And she said, “If you open the school, I’ll raise every dollar you need.” Because it had to be free there could be no tuition. When Boyce passed away unexpectedly we knew we had to name then school after her because she was such a huge catalyst.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Kate Kennedy: I started talking to parents and quickly realized the challenges. Without an address, they don’t even know what school to go to. And without housing, they often lack access to basic documents like birth certificates and immunization records and everything needed to enroll. Even for those who do get in, their children often face poor sleep, inadequate nutrition, and lack of proper clothing. The barriers were and are everywhere.

It’s incredibly difficult and so many nonprofits fail. I had identified a real need in our community through public school educators, families, and homeless-serving agencies. My final step was to approach the funding community and none of them wanted to touch it. I didn’t have a title or nonprofit experience. I remember one woman asking, “What’s your title?” Flustered, I said, “I’m just a concerned citizen.” She practically patted me on the head and said, “Oh, you’re in way over your head.”

There’s a difference in a do gooder and a change maker. I  think it’s really important a do gooder does good until, until it gets tough, and then they’re like, oh, that’s I’m out. And the change maker, the founder, it keeps on going even when it just looks impossible.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Kate Kennedy: Once the school opened, the families and the children kept me going, because they’re just precious. And you just look at them and you just think, I can’t not do this for you. I just can’t. You know you deserve this. You are just the sweetest thing, and you deserve this. You have worth, you have dignity, and you know, and so it was the relationships that really changed.

Charity Matters: When do you know you have made a difference?

Kate Kennedy: There were many moments, but one story that really sticks with me happened at the end of our first quarter. We had given our students uniforms: white polo shirts with the school logo and navy skorts or pants. They looked sweet and polished, and we thought white shirts made sense because they could be bleached clean.

At our first parent meeting, we asked for feedback about what was working, what wasn’t. At first, no one said anything. Then one mom raised her hand and said, “The white shirts are hard.” It hadn’t occurred to us that families living in shelters or on the street often don’t have regular access to laundry. The shirts were hard to keep clean.

I asked what would work better, and they said navy blue. So I ordered navy monogrammed shirts and handed them out a few weeks later. The reaction from the mothers was overwhelming. One said, “No one ever listens to us. We have no voice.” And it’s true, especially when children are involved, families experiencing homelessness often stay invisible out of fear of losing their kids. That small change by simply listening, shifted the entire mood of the school.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Kate Kennedy: It was really hard, but I eventually realized that my dream wasn’t to run the day-to-day operations of a school, it was to start a movement. I want to see schools like the Ansley School across the country, because it’s possible.

Through a providential twist of fate, I was connected with a woman in Pittsburgh who wanted to start a similar school. It’s a long, wild story, but we connected, and I’ve been working with her and her team to help make it happen. As I shared the journey and supported them, I realized this story needed to be told. I started writing and writing and before long, I realized: this could actually be a book people might want to read.

Once Upon a School is my book. The first half of the book is about building the school and about my real dream of supporting children without housing. The children that are going to fall through the cracks in our system. The second half of the book is about how it’s really complicated to be a founder.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Kate Kennedy:  The biggest lesson that kept coming up was that I needed to trust myself. I didn’t have all the answers, but I knew what I knew and I was aware of what I didn’t. I asked questions, listened, and the school was thriving. We had a $2 million budget, and I raised it almost entirely on my own each year.

Still, people would say, “You haven’t been in the business world,” or “You stayed home with your kids, you don’t know”—all the bless your heart stuff (I’m Southern). which, by the way, is not a compliment in the south. What I was doing was working. I mean, the evidence was all around me. So I look back now and I think I should have trusted myself more.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Kate Kennedy: I do, I’ve changed a lot. I have much better boundaries now and trust myself a lot more. I think those are the biggest shifts. I’m also much more aware of the challenges children without housing face when it comes to education. I always knew it was an issue, but now I feel like I can truly be a voice for them because I’ve walked alongside so many families living through it. It’s one thing to understand the problem from a distance but it’s completely different when you’ve lived it up close.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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Episode 85: The KinderSmile Foundation

Did you know that students miss 53 million hours of school each year due to oral disease? I did not but thanks to our amazing guest today I have learned so much about what our underserved communities around the country are facing with a lack of proper dental care. I am so excited to introduce you to the amazing Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes. A full time dentist, a mother and a nonprofit founder on a mission to change all of that with the KinderSmile Foundation.

Join us for an incredible conversation that will inspire you in unbelievable ways. If you don’t think one person can change the world then you haven’t met Dr. Nicole!  Dr. Nicole is pure sunshine in a bottle and will definitely give you something to smile about!

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what The KinderSmile Foundation does?

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes: KinderSmile Foundation is a 501, c3, non profit organization whose mission is to increase oral care access and oral care education for low income children and Perinatal mothers and their families. And our vision hopes to eradicate the number one preventable disease, which is oral disease, and that every child has a chance to see a dentist.

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about Growing up? Did you have any philanthropic role models?

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes: Growing up, I can identify multiple role models. My mother, of course, was one. She was an immigrant from Jamaica, West Indies. My mother worked very hard, and she poured into us giving back, giving back, giving back in her own way.  I noticed as a young child, I always had an affinity to serve and to give back. Either I was taking some young children to the park or babysitting or helping the elderly. It was always part of my fabric and my soul. And so I think that’s where that philanthropic part of me started as a very, very young child. 

When I completed dental school 1991 I was this black, successful dentist in northern New Jersey, Montclair, New Jersey, I checked off all the boxes you have, your home, your children, so forth and so on. But my whole soul was still craving or yearning for something. I had a hole in my soul despite checking off all the boxes. And then you realize that there’s a difference between providing a service, like what you do in dentistry or serving your community. What I was missing was serving my community. 

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start The KinderSmile Foundation?

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes: That moment was in 2007 when I decided to open up my private practice to children at a local Head Start in Montclair, New Jersey.  I asked the Executive Director of that program to please bus children to my office. I wanted to treat them for free as long as they have the consent from their parents. One evening I received a phone call from my receptionist. She said, ” Dr Nicole. There is a five year old little girl here in the office now. They need help. They need an emergency exam.”

 And so I leave my children, I go to the office. There was this little five year old black girl,  we’ll call her Z,  and she leaped into my arms. She literally had an abscess the size of a golf ball. And when I saw that, my heart stopped after leaving my children, because my son was almost that age.  I knew that it could potentially be deadly. So I spoke to the grandmother, and I said, “Look, this is serious. We gotta get on some antibiotics. Do you have any insurance? ” And she said, ” Well, we live in Union County, we live 30 minutes away. We could not find a dentist in a 35 mile radius to treat her because we have state Medicaid.”

So that night, I went home, and I could not sleep. I fell to my knees, and I had a long conversation with God.  I literally said,” if this is my purpose, confirm it. The next morning, I was reading the ADA quarterly news, about a 12 year old,  black boy from Prince George’s County, Maryland, who died from that same toothache, infection that little Z had. He was 12 years old. His mother was burying her first child because no one wanted to treat him because he had Medicaid. All it would take was two minutes of writing a prescription. 

It was at that was that moment, November 2007 that I started KinderSmile Foundation. I knew nothing about a nonprofit, absolutlely nothing.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes: Some of the early challenges were juggling a family, a private practice all while starting a nonprofit.  Some of the challenges as a woman entrepreneur you’re balancing family life because you’re driven by your passion. You’re driven by the fact that there’s a problem and I can solve it, or I can contribute to the resolution of this issue.

 Then  trying to get other people in my profession to understand why I’m doing this and the necessity. That was very difficult, because public health dentistry is not necessarily viewed as a successful entity of the dental profession. And if you don’t know that 53 million hours in school are missed every year due to oral disease, you don’t know that. I had to educate my colleagues, not to get offended, but to educate them. So the education took at least seven to 10 years. Now we have a list of volunteer dentists who are willing to participate, who are willing to open up their doors and to treat our children and our patients. So it’s worth it. The persistence paid off.

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes:  I tend to look at it qualitatively. Education to me is the key. And for me, success is if I can educate a child, one family at a time, the extractions, the fillings, the dental services,  that is the icing on the cake. But if you can really meet them where they are, to edify and encourage them that you know what? Your child doesn’t need to have a cavity. This is the way you go about it. That’s what makes me sleep at night.

Yes, the grants that you receive, or the $16 million worth of in kind services, or the 8000 patients we see annually, yes, those numbers are impactful. But the lives that you save through compassion, educating, and letting them know that I Care Dental Homes that we built, not dental clinics, which has a negative connotation, but the Dental Homes that are beautifully decorated and clean and organized. When they walk in, they say, “This is for me,. whether I have dental insurance or not.” That is success. They know they can always come back to a KinderSmile community for quality, comprehensive treatment. That to me is success.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes:  The big dream would be the expansion of our KinderSmile dental homes and our KinderSmile community oral health centers. I would like to see that in other areas in the country. A dental home that opens the door to the underinsured. Replicate our model and have it in other indigent areas because we know the model works. We know the mission and the vision is so impactful.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes:  I learned that first of all the word obedience blares out right when you’re called to do something trust and have that faith. But I also learned  that persistence wins and humility connects God. Persistency wins and humility connects because when you’re humble, you realize it’s not about you. When I’m speaking to my colleagues, and you’re humble, regardless of what they’re thinking, your humility is going to connect.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes:  This has been a wonderful journey. A wonderful, wonderful journey. One thing, I could definitely say is that I get less offended. I think in the early years, when colleagues would say insensitive things like, “What’s it in for me?”  or “I don’t treat those.” I would take it just a tad bit personally. When you step back and you realize that it’s bigger than you, but most importantly, it’s not about you.  Then you get less offended. Then you say, let me use this platform to educate my colleagues, to educate people, regardless of your socioeconomic status or your color or your race or your religion. This is my purpose. This is my journey. So let me educate because you don’t know what you don’t know.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Dr. Nicole McGrath Barnes:  To be very honest, what fueled me was my faith and that I was brought here for a reason. This is my purpose. And when you know that, you know that. You know this is a purpose, there’s no such thing as giving up.  You understand that there will be dark times and there will be light times, but you still persist, because it’s bigger than me. It’s serving a community and it’s creating a legacy.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

Copyright © 2025 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

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Episode 84: Thrive in Joy: The Nick Fagnano Foundation

I get asked all the time about the people/nonprofit founders who inspire me the most. While I am truly inspired by all who serve and I do not have “favorites.” The answer is people who have lost children and take that unbelievable grief and pain and recycle it into good. Those are the people that I will never forget. Their stories and their children’s stories stay with me. These people are my heroes and their love for their child becomes their love for others. It is the ultimate recycling of pain to purpose.

Today’s guest, Mary Fagnano is one of those remarkable humans. When her young son Nick was struck by lightning on a summer day at the beach, her life and her husband’s life were forever changed. Nick was their only child and a remarkable young man heading off to college. His life and legacy of service lives on through the beautiful foundation his parents created called the Thrive In Joy, Nick Fagnano Foundation. Join us today for an inspirational conversation that you won’t want to miss.

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Thrive IN Joy Nick Fagnano Foundation does?

Mary Fagnano:  At the Thrive In Joy Nick Fagnano Foundation, we encourage young people to discover their character strengths and the joy of service through programs inspired by the life of our son Nick.

Charity Matters: What were some early influences on your giving back?

Mary Fagnano:   My mom volunteered a lot in school. She had a drama and speech  background and would go into schools and do creative dramatics and music. I would tag along with her in those early days. My father was always volunteering.  He adopted a family from Afghanistan through our church and brought them into our family.  I did grow up seeing my parents doing outreach and giving of themselves in my own life.

I look back and the first thing I remember is when I moved to Los Angeles, and I was trying to meet people. I moved here and the church I was going to had a program where you could go to juvenile hall and you could volunteer and talk to young people who were incarcerated.  It was a really powerful experience and the first time in my life that I had really put myself out there. 

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start The Thrive IN Joy Nick Fagnano Foundation?

Mary Fagnano: Nick always inspired me. He always inspired me to be a better person. He did this baseball equipment drive for kids in the Dominican Republic when he was going from Little League into high school. He loved baseball, and he had rallied his friends because he saw something on TV about how kids in the DR love baseball, but can’t afford the proper equipment. As a result, he put this drive together.

Another influence in my nonprofit journey was this guy named Greg Buzek, who I was in the advertising and marketing world with.  He had started an organization that brought executives together for a common good to help vulnerable children around the world, and they would make these service trips.   Nick was 20 when he passed.

Well, the signs that lead us. I was having a tough time and said, “Nick, I need to feel you. I need to know you’re here.” And at that moment, my phone rang, and it was Greg Bucha. And it was that call that really changed our life and started Jay and I to have a purpose. That phone call from Greg came only about four or five weeks after we’d lost Nick. 

Greg remembered that I had said that we were going to go to the Dominican Republic. And he said, “Maybe we’ve got this trip coming up. We’re going to install a computer lab at this school, and maybe you and Jay would want to go on this trip, because you never went with Nick” There were just so many signs on that trip that Nick wanted us there.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Mary Fagnano: We came back from that trip and did an extreme makeover in one classroom at this school in the DR. There was something that just told us we can do all ten classrooms. And we came back and we had a fundraiser, and we did have a great community so we raised $30,000.

The Foundation started in 2016 when we got our 501, c3. In 2016, we had a board that was focused on this little project in the Dominican Republic, helping out at an orphanage in a school and taking two trips a year to go there and do work. Then the board said to us, “This is great. You’re doing this in the DR, and we’ve seen how this has really been something that’s helped keep Nick’s memory alive. But if we’re really going to be a legitimate nonprofit, we want to have sustainability. We need to look local, and we need to find something local that we can do. “

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Mary Fagnano: Nick. Our board did some background research and found this Values in Action organization. We aligned the descriptive words of Nick against 24 character strengths that Values in Action defines through their scientific studies. And they have a survey that every student can take, every adult can take. It gives you this lineup of your top 10 character strengths. This is where we realized, okay, we do have something here.

Charity Matters: When do you know you have made a difference?

Mary Fagnano:  It’s the people we’re serving and the people who serve alongside of us. No nonprofit can operate without volunteers and but it’s the stories. 

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Mary Fagnano: Our impact is what happens through the young people that are part of our programs. We’ll talk about impact right now with our C 11 program.  The young people involved in our program have a project called an ESIP. It stands for entrepreneurial social impact project. At each school where we start with these foundational kind of modules to get that handle on character.

Every year, in the spring they have to do a they have to produce an ESIP. What they produce and how they’ve grown and how they activated their entire campus  is what gives me such impact. This group of students started out with a little leadership team, and then they recruited a club, and now they’ve got like 30 members. Those 30 members had this positive impact on their entire campus with discussions on body positivity or whatever subject.

The students brought together community resources, and they invited their whole campus and everybody could talk to these different organizations.  Everything from financial security, to safety, to riding public transportation, to health and safety. All are the students’ ideas. I measure the impact. I count how many you know people did this small group of students bring together?  Each school that we partner with creates its own little mini nonprofit and picks a cause they believe in as long as it aligns with mixed values, that were things that were important to Nick.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Mary Fagnano:  I would like to see the C 11 program go global. That would be the big dream.  I want to see that. Just continuing that everybody who wants to have the C 11 program and that every school  feels that there’s a value to this in their school.  We can provide it, and the dream is that we’re constantly able to improve it and update it and make it more exciting and more engaging. 

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Mary Fagnano: People say when you have a child, it changes your life. When you lose a child, it changes your life. Absolutely and I have changed by carrying a lot more about a lot of things that I think are more long lasting than the things that I cared about before.  Nick was only always number one. Everything about being a parent for both Jay and I, it was great. And so losing that and losing all of that purpose, and being able to find a different way to channel it has been a gift.

After Nick died, we found an essay that he wrote when he was a freshman in college. The title of the essay was the reality of heaven. The essay was a five page essay about all the different world religions and what they believe happens when people die. Nick concluded in this essay that his Christian faith tells him that when he dies, he will be finally reunited with the loved ones that he’s lost on earth. And he wrote, “I believe that when I go to heaven, I expect to feel joy, gratitude and excitement. I don’t believe that people should say rest in peace. Perhaps a phrase such as thrive in joy better reflects how I want to spend eternity.”

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Mary Fagnano: I would say the biggest lesson that I’ve learned is never to take a day for granted. Every day is precious. Every relationship that is important to you is precious. There’s never enough hours in the day, and you can’t beat yourself up about that. You try to get in everything you can in a day.

I don’t want to live an easy life. I want to live a meaningful life.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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Cancer

Episode 83: Robin Cancer Trust

It is a lovely gift when people around the world reach out wanting to have their story shared with our Charity Matters community. With 1.6 million nonprofits in the United States alone, it is hard to even begin to share the stories we have here. It is a rare moment when we have conversations with our friends across the pond. Since cancer knows no boundaries and affects so many regardless of where you live, I wanted to share this amazing organization and family with you.

Toby Freeman’s family was living a lovely life until his oldest brother Robin was given a shocking diagnosis of cancer at the young age of 23. Twenty million people will also receive that diagnosis each year around the world but not all of them will act to serve others. Join us today for a beautiful conversation on the power of love, family, community and legacy. We all have the power to make a difference and Toby’s story is a beautiful reminder of what happens when we do.

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Robin’s Cancer Trust does?

Toby Freeman: The Robin Cancer Trust is the UK’s only testicular and ovarian cancer charity. We cover both of those cancers  and we do education, awareness and support in schools, colleges, businesses all across the country, delivering life saving awareness talks.

We’ll go in talk to the students and have all of our very funny and very big prosthetics, a really fun engagement tools.  We pull up the headmaster, make them check themselves in front of the class in a safeguarding way. They have a pair that they can check and then we go out to festivals and  universities reaching students and young people there. We also reach millions of people online with our campaigns. And then we do support for our community as well. So we do free Cancer Support packs for anyone affected by those cancers anywhere in the UK. Then we send out additional resources to support them during that incredibly difficult time of their life.

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about your Family Growing Up?

Toby Freeman: I would say my parents are just so unbelievably selfless.  There’s a national charity called Bliss, and my mom headed up our local chapter.  I remember packing things and her talking to us about it and why it was so important. My dad used to help with loads of local organizations, and they’d always get really involved in anything we were doing.

I’m the youngest of three boys, so there was a lot to be done, but they were at everything we were doing sports and school wise. They were at theater productions, helping us. They we did Boy Scouts, which obviously a big part of that is giving back.  I just have this feeling of my parents selflessness was something I’ve always been very aware of. 

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start Robin’s Cancer Trust?

Toby Freeman:  I always say experience breeds empathy. I think you have to go through something to be able to empathize with it. When these big, traumatic things that can happen in life, a lot of empathy comes out of them.

Rob was my elder brother.  Rob and I were very, very close when we grew up.  He was my best friend as well as my elder brother.  As we were getting older, he used to ferry me around and look after me and make sure I got to football on time. Rob was in his prime of his life.  He was 23, fit, gym guy, healthy clean eating, training all the time and looking after his body. He was very health conscious and he was diagnosed with a stage four mediastinal germ cell tumor.  He had a testicular tumor in his chest that got to the size of a grapefruit wrapped around his heart and his lungs. It just hit us absolutely out of nowhere. 

I just watched my brother go from the prime of his life to an absolute shell of himself both mentally and physically.  By Christmas time we were  thinking, what’s just happened to us? How has this just happened to us?

We were sat around the table, and we’d made a promise to Rob that we’d never let him just be a photo on the wall. It was never our intention to put him at the forefront of everything. What we did realize was, if someone as health conscious, as fit and active as Rob was could be diagnosed at that later stage and ignore signs and symptoms, then there was something to be done.

During that entire year, we couldn’t find any information about the type of cancer he had. We searched Google, and there was just nothing, and we just felt so alone and untethered.  We didn’t want another family to feel that way.  My dad’s a very pragmatic man. He said, “If we are going to do something, we need to research it thoroughly, understand what the problem is and how to fix it.  We need to create something that isn’t a grief reaction. Something that is actually needed and can outlast us.” So from day on we wanted to be able to step away from this at some point. We want other people driving this. There’s been a beautiful 12 years of seeing this grow .

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Toby Freeman: I think the biggest challenge was navigating the grief. I think two things saved me during that time. First, my now wife treated me with a lot of TLC and gave me the kick up the butt to go to grief counseling.  Second, the charity because it gave me something to focus on when that cup was empty. Actually doing something good, putting something positive out in the world, even if that’s just thinking about a project you could do. It just helps fill that cup up every day.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Toby Freeman:  A very patient partner. Everyone grieves in such different ways in a family unit, right? No one talks about how this is really difficult. We did have this unifying thing to be positive about during that time. So I think that was really powerful. My father’s still on the board, and he loves being involved. My mum, my brother have stepped away for various reasons over the years. This has been something that tethered us, because it’s so easy to become so untethered in how everyone’s feeling in those moments

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Toby Freeman: How do you measure awareness? We were education and awareness based. That’s why we started because no one was covering that. We listened to our community and realized they needed more support.  We provided that service. Awareness is ethereal. You don’t know we’re teaching life skills effectively. We’re asking a 15 year old say, check yourself and if you found something, go to a doctor. But that could be 20 years down the line.

We’ve seen a dynamic shift in the UK to fund as being much more amenable to anecdotal feedback. Real life stories having a tangible impact. We have feedback forms for all of our talks  I can track how many people are landing at certain places on the website. So if I am at certain events, you can have certain links and see 300 people from that event landed on that website. I know that’s an impact. What action they’re taking in the comfort of their own homes, in their baths, in their bedrooms? I don’t know. What we  struggle to track is what is the end impact? Because you can’t be a charity that goes to someone newly diagnosed and say, “Did our resource help you? “

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Toby Freeman:  Being unemployed, because if someone cures cancer, I don’t have a job. I’d be the happiest unemployed man in the world.   I would say the biggest goal for us is reaching every young person in the UK at school level.  That’s where we’re going to have our biggest impact because we are teaching life skills.

If we also work with all the hospitals in the UK to make sure that anyone diagnosed has access to our free Cancer Support packs and ongoing resources. Then from both points, from an awareness and a support point, I think we have done our jobs.  

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Toby Freeman: That’s something I reflect on quite often. We  have a podcast called Thrive Against Cancer,  where I get to interview people affected by cancer at all stages of their journeys.  I think that gratitude for life takes some people almost forever to understand, to just be able to step back and know what is important and what isn’t important.

How lucky am I to have a happy and healthy family?  So I’ve got no complaints whatsoever. And I think that’s the biggest lesson,  I am grateful to be reminded of at least every two weeks when our podcasts come out. You just get all of this information from everyone else and you can’t sweat the small stuff when you know how much big stuff there is out there in the world.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Toby Freeman: Someone once asked me in an interview, “Do you think Rob would be proud of us?” I don’t think he’d be able to recognize me in a good way.  I think when you lose someone, you want to take the best parts of them as well.  My brother was a very responsible man. He really focused on his health and fitness. And for me, over the last few years, that’s really become really important. Putting myself first.  I realized I couldn’t tell other people this without living it.

I’ve just taken it feels like a 180 the way I was. I was very young. I try not to beat myself up. I didn’t handle that year of Rob being ill, Rob’s death, I didn’t handle that very well. I am so lucky to have the people around me that got me out of that and put me on a good path. The charity has given me purpose, and that has defined me as a person that’s helped me be responsible.

Having soaked up so much life experience and being around people that have been through even more, is it just has completely defined who I am.  I’m so grateful for that and to have that opportunity to be who I am.  I’m really proud, and I think my brother would be too.  

Charity Matters.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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Episode 59: Project Libertad and our CNN Hero

At Charity Matters we love heroes, people who give and people who serve others. We have been interviewing and finding remarkable heroes long before the iconic CNN Heroes came along. Don’t get me wrong, anyone who amplifies the voices of these remarkbale humans should be applauded, so bravo CNN! When one of the people we interviewed a year and half ago became a CNN Hero, well we had to share. We are so proud of Rachel and she was always a hero to us. Here is her story in video and for everyone who wants to revisit our conversation and podcast, take a look below. The world needs to continue to highlight heroes…because charity does matter.

Photo via: CNN
Rachel’s Story from our May 2023 conversation:

I was recently having a conversation with friends about what our grandparents and great grandparents went through coming to America. I love these conversations for a few reasons. First because we all have these stories. Secondly, because they remind us how strong and resilient our ancestors were and what they sacrificed for us. The immigrant story is the story of our country.

While immigration has been a hot political topic these days, regardless of your stance, there are still people coming to our country who need help. That is where today’s guest, Rachel Rutter comes in. Rachel is the founder of Project Libertad, an organization that helps immigrant youth in a multitude of ways. Join us for an inspirational conversation about some of the challenges these children are facing and how she and Project Libertad and making a difference.

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Project Libertad does?

Rachel Rutter: We are a nonprofit organization serving newcomer immigrant youth. So we’re working with kids who have recently arrived in the US and their families. The people we primarily work with are unaccompanied minors from Central America and Mexico. In addition, we also work with a lot of families from Brazil.

There are fewer services in the counties outside of Philadelphia, so we’re providing legal services,  helping kids with their immigration process, and trying to address the other needs that they have. For example, we have kids who struggle with housing insecurity, food insecurity, mental health support, and all those sorts of things. So we’re trying to not only meet their need for immigration status and help them with that process, but also all these other challenges that they face as they’re adjusting to being here in the US.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start Project Libertad?

Rachel Rutter:  When I was in college, I had this idea that I wanted to start a nonprofit someday.  I was very naive about how hard it would be. So I started all of the paperwork, and incorporating and 501 C 3 status in law school.  Then at the same time, I was working with all these clients who had legal needs, needed asylum, or they needed to apply for immigration status. 

Then they always have all these other needs. For example they don’t have a safe place to live, have family issues, trauma, and need food. There are any number of different issues that they have.  I just wished we had a social worker that we could partner with and have like a wraparound approach. A place where we are meeting all the needs, not just this legal needs.

So the idea came to create an organization that does try to do all those different things in a one stop shop.  We are doing that now, and we had just hired a case manager to connect kids to resources in the community and social services.  I’m obviously doing the legal part. And we hope to continue replicating that and growing in new areas. 

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Rachel Rutter: One of the biggest things I remember getting really frustrated with was applying for different grants.  It’s really hard to get your foot in the door as a new nonprofit. Nobody wants to take a chance on you, you’re tiny, and they want to see that you have money before they give you money. But you can’t show them that unless someone gives you money. It’s just kind of like a chicken and egg problem. So that was really frustrating.

We took classes on grant writing.  I just practiced and got better over time. Eventually, we did a grant in partnership with HIAS which was the first ever grant that we got. Just being able to say that this other foundation gave us a grant went really far. Being patient, learning how to talk about your mission in a way that people want to fund it. Because it’s really important. It’s like writing a thesis in college where you have to structure it the right way so that people want to support it.  That was a big learning curve for us.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Rachel Rutter: It can be really hard, but the most important thing for me has always been like the relationship that I have with the kids that we work with. So that’s definitely like the biggest motivator for me. I also have a very supportive family, husband, and friends who work in this industry as well.

So I feel like I have not only my team, my project like that, but also my colleagues from other organizations  who are always supportive. We can always like work together to solve problems.  It can definitely be challenging, but I feel like I have a good support system. Working directly with the kids is what gives me energy. Usually, that’s what I’m trying to focus on. If I need to push through, I’m thinking about the kids and that connection that we get to have with them.

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Rachel Rutter:  In terms of our impact, we served over 1000 people last year. The times I think when I feel like the most impactful are when a student shares some things that were going on in her family.  After hearing this we were able to provide support with that. There was food insecurity in the household and so we went grocery shopping. It doesn’t always have to be complicated. This kid said I need food and we went to the store and we got food and like that was that. My colleagues and I do stuff like that all the time.

I think those are definitely the moments for me that are the most rewarding when you can just help somebody in such a concrete immediate way. So I love that we have the ability to do that. Sometimes those kinds of moments don’t necessarily get captured in the numbers you put in a grant report. 

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Rachel Rutter: I have two thoughts about that. One is to continue expanding and replicating what we’re doing now in our current locations. Having the combination of lawyers and social workers reproducing that in new counties as we grow.

Then the other thing I would love to do is to have some sort of shelter for youth who are 18 to early 20s. Something that we run into a lot is youth who have housing insecurity. They don’t either have anywhere to go because the foster care system doesn’t help them once they are 18. We run into cases like that where kids don’t have anywhere to go. There are really limited options currently for them. We would really love is to eventually have some sort of space for kids like that. So that would be  another dream that I would have for the future. 

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Rachel Rutter: I think one thing is just like the importance of these relationships with the kids.  So I think just the value in those long term relationships is so important, and like sustaining for me. I’ve definitely been learning to delegate more, now that we have more staff.  It’s always hard for me to kind of let go of things because this is my baby.

 I also realize when I’m feeling burned out that having a good team that you can trust to do things so that you aren’t trying to do everything as one person is really important. I’m learning to  relax a little more. A lot of things work themselves out if you wait long enough. 

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Rachel Rutter:  I think when I started this out, I was a little bit naive about how difficult it might be to get funds. So like I mentioned, I’ve learned a lot there. I just think I have more confidence in myself and my knowledge as an attorney.  We’ve really developed our niche where we are the local experts working with this population.

I think that took me a long time to kind of see this as like a real thing and now other people see it that way too.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

YOUR REFERRAL IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT,  IF YOU ARE SO MOVED OR INSPIRED, WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO SHARE AND INSPIRE ANOTHER. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please connect with us:

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One For All

“Believe with all your heart that how you live your life makes a difference.”

Colin Brown

I have always believed in angels among us and looking back at the conversation I had with nonprofit founder, Mari Rodriguez was proof to me that angels are here on earth. My dear friends have been involved with supporting Mari and her work to provide the most underserved children and families in her neighborhood of Inglewood.

Mari came to the United States at age 19 and taught herself English. She became a citizen and a nurse. She raised a family and people in the neighborhood were coming to her for help with their children. First, it was a few and then a few more and then a hundred and now hundreds. Mari is living proof that one person can change the world and one of the most amazing humans I have had the privilege of talking to.

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what One For All does?

Mari Rodriguez: One For All encourages students to stay in school, graduate from high school and we give these students and families the supplies and guidance they need to accomplish that.  Our mission is to help build the character of our children through social programs that emphasize the importance of personal growth as well as develop the community as a whole.

We do back to school backpacks and supply drives, toy drives for winter, we have students bring their report cards and if they are getting a 3.0 GPA or higher they are rewarded for good grades and if not we get them tutoring, we do prom dress giveaways and whatever students need, sometimes its as basic as a pair of shoes for school, we find it and help. The biggest thing we do is give $500 scholarships for those students with good grades who are going to college.

We currently serve over 500 students a year between the ages of 5 and 18.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start One For All?

Mari Rodriguez: I lived in Inglewood and saw that the children in my neighborhood didn’t have guidance. So, in 2001 I talked to the pastor at our church on the corner and asked if we could use the church parking lot to help children and families. Then we started an event on our street to gather everyone together but our neighbors were so impacted and the neighborhood couldn’t accommodate everyone. I wasn’t sure what to do because I was still working full time as a nurse during the day and raising my children and helping all the neighborhood children at night and after work.

In 2007, I had a patient that kept telling me I needed my 501c3 and I had no idea what these numbers meant or what that was. While I was working in the doctor’s office a patient asked me about what I do in my free time and I told him. He said I needed my 501c3 and his wife would help me. She did and in 2007  One For All became an official nonprofit organization. 

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Mari Rodriguez: Donors. The hardest part is raising funds.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Mari Rodriguez: (Tears) The love of people. The love of people fuels me. Sometimes I want to quit and think I cannot go on and then people hug me and thank me for helping them. When families need me. This is my purpose in life to help others.

Charity Matters: When do you know you have made a difference?

Mari Rodriguez: I think of all the people whose lives I have touched. From a five year old girl who died of cancer and whose funeral I did because her mother just couldn’t, to the young boys who were becoming gang members and we were able to get them to change direction, to the young man who was gay and thinking about suicide for fear his parents wouldn’t accept him.   I got involved and this boy is now a wonderful and happy young man in college with his family’s support.

When I close my eyes I see myself on a journey helping, going forward, helping, helping and not looking back just keep going and helping. I see the hugs, the smiles of all these people and that is my reward. I love this country with all my heart. I came to this country at 19 with nothing but dreams. I dreamed I was going to do something big.

I taught myself English and with the help of two angels went to nursing school. It was such hard work and my life has been so good. I have to give everything I have received. I am so grateful.

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had?

Mari Rodriguez:We started with 25 kids in 2001 from my home. Then we had 100 and then 200 kids and we would close down our street to do our events. Our neighbors asked us to take our events off of our street and we moved our programs to the church in Inglewood. Today we help more than 500 children and families. This year we will distribute over thirty $500 scholarships for our students who are going to college.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for One For All, what would that be?

Mari Rodriguez: The dream I have is to find more supporters. We need more school supplies. I dream of finding someone who can donate backpacks. To me, the most important thing is to keep giving more scholarships to motivate these kids to stay in school and to help us really help them.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Mari Rodriguez: It hasn’t changed me, I continue being humble and treat everyone equally. I really do not like to talk about me. I would rather just help others. 

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Mari Rodriguez: I have learned that anybody can help somebody. Nothing is too little to help another. Each individual can help somebody. If you can not give money you can give love or conversation to someone who is lonely. Anybody can make a difference in the world. To start a nonprofit with an intention to help others is enough. I am just happy to help these families.

 

Charity Matters.

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Causes

It just isn’t summer without camp

 

 

Friday marks the first official beginning of summer.  Each year over six million American children participate in some sort of day or overnight camp each year. Many of these camps are nonprofit organizations. Camp is a summer ritual for many and for other young students an opportunity for reinvention. To show up without past labels, to be at a place where no one knows who you are but who they see. That reinvention also allows children to feel great about themselves, after being away from home and independent for a few days or weeks.  This generation is connected via devices but not authentically connected and camp gives these students a place to unplug and actually make real authentic connections.

As many of you know, I did not go to camp as a child but my day job is running a non-profit youth leadership organization, which also has a summer camp program. We have incredible high school and college students volunteering to serve as camp counselors and mentors. Many counselors are alumni of our program and want to give back to an organization that changed their lives.  Students teaching students to be the best of themselves. Showing one another respect, how to learn from different opinions, and how to work together towards a resolution. Ultimately, teaching students how to lead.

 

Tomorrow, I will happily be greeting hundreds of smiling faces as our 6th, 7th, and 8th graders arrive with their nervous parents. For some, it will be their first time away from home.   It is such a great feeling to bring everyone together. There is no greater joy than knowing that you are part of something bigger than yourself and that your work makes a difference. This video below from one of our students a few years back, pretty much says it all.

Nothing brings greater joy than planting the seeds of compassion in these incredible students year after year.  When the world seems to get a bit crazier, these students give me hope. I can’t help believe that our children will be better than we were, they will learn, listen, come together to lead us all. These children are our hope. As one of our students said, “It is an eyeopener to learn that you can do something to change the world...”

Charity Matters.

 

 

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Causes

Episode 78: Words Matter

Many of us grew up with the childhood slogan of, ” Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me.” Hundreds of years later we now know that they actually can.  Words can cause long lasting scars on our children as nonprofit founder, Jessica Bondy shares with us with today’s inspirational conversation about the power of our words. Join us for an enlightening discussion from across the pond about this amazing new nonprofit, Words Matter.

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

 

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what Words Matter does?

Jessica Bondy: Words Matter is the first organization in the world focused solely on addressing the issue of verbal abuse of children by adults. It is so pervasive, it goes so unnoticed and not properly recognized. Yet it affects two in five children. And of that two in five children over half experienced verbal abuse by adults weekly, and one in turn every single day of their lives. Hearing words to blame, shame, belittle, criticize, and it’s not just shouting and screaming, it can be quite insidious, and subtle.

And I think that the thing that is most concerning about childhood verbal abuse by adults, is the life long damage it can do to children. Because words matter. They stick, they last a lifetime. They shape who we are and who we become. So we are on a mission to end verbal abuse of children by adults.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start Words Matter?

Jessica Bondy: I set it up having spent decades in communication, and working for some of the biggest brands in the world Samsung, British Airways, FedEx, Procter and Gamble, working as director and MD of some big firms and then setting up my own agency.  I also coached and mentored a lot of young people helping them realize their potential.  I did a course all about women finding their voices and speaking up and I had a eureka moment. This eureka moment came on when we were given a topic to talk about with this group of women all on zoom from around the world. The topic was if you are going to die in the next six months, what do you want your legacy to be?

This thing came from me out of nowhere.  And I said, “If I’m going to die in the next six months, I don’t want my legacy to be that I am a good aunt. I don’t want my legacy being that I’m a communication specialist. And I don’t want my legacy being that I coach and mentor young people to help realize their potential.” I don’t want it to be on the good old, I’m a communication specialist, or mentor young people, even though all of those things don’t too many people would be hugely worthwhile and satisfied, right? I looked down the barrel of the camera on my Zoom computer. And I said, “If  I’m going to die in the next six months, I want to end verbal abuse of children by adults, because words matter.”

Wow. And I said this, because of my own lived experience and was getting so locked in my head. So many of the people I coached had been so impacted by what they’d heard when they were growing up.

I think what’s so fascinating with what I’m doing now, and Words Matter, it kind of all makes sense. Because there I was communicating on behalf of businesses and brands, then I was helping young people communicate, and market themselves. Now I feel I’m almost the voice of children say, enough is enough words matter.  I feel it is my purpose, I strongly believe that the only reason I’m on this planet is to do this thing.  I just don’t want it to be that way for the next generations and generations to come.

Charity Matters: What are your biggest challenges?

Jessica Bondy:  I think part of the challenge is when you believe something incredibly passionate yourself, and there are people that don’t necessarily believe in what your cause is.  And I found there’s a real dichotomy of people that get it. I’ve had people who’ve literally burst into tears and said, Oh, gosh, I haven’t spoken to my father since I was 14. It’s so brilliant, you’re doing something about this.

I think the other very challenging thing, given the environment we are in today is fundraising is very, very hard. Because particularly if you’re a new charity, because so many funders want to be reassured that you’re going to succeed. And if you’re new and different,  it’s hard. When I ran my own agency, and people were buying the services they were getting something in return. Philanthropy is very, very different. People are doing it because they believe in your cause. They believe that you’re gonna make a difference in the world.

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Jessica Bondy: I think what fuels me is an absolute passion and belief in the need for this to happen in the world.  Actually, knowing  what I’m doing is changing people’s behavior. So that fuels me knowing that we can make a difference.

I think the other thing that fuels me is this incredible network of experts, supporters, and my fellow trustees, who have that belief, that you’ve cracked so many nuts, you’ll be able to crack this.  I feel like I’ve kind of got almost a rocket of support underneath me to try and make it a success.

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had and what your impact has been? 

Jessica Bondy: September 2023, our website went live.  We released the findings of our children survey and the most helpful and hurtful words that children said.  We have  three pillars, research and what we see is in terms of delivering outcomes, and outputs with data validation of the scale and impact. Then the next  pillar is about awareness. And that’s trying to change perception and increase understanding and awareness.

Then the other thing we’re developing is training, education and information. We developed some resources on how to talk to children, from adults, for parents, for teachers, those with lived experience.   We had the first international conference on childhood verbal abuse with University College London and the World Health Organization, we had over 1300 people registered to attend and actually 98% said it had made them they’d found it useful, and they would apply the information to their learning to their jobs. Over 90% said it would change their own their own behavior.

It’s called Words Matter, impact and prevention of childhood verbal abuse.  So we’ve developed this program, we’re piloting it.  Hopefully, it’ll be extended through our network of partners. So we’ve got a number of different leading charities supporting our mission, who are service providers, and we’re hoping to do the training through them and their networks.

Charity Matters: If you could dream any dream for your organization, what would that be?

Jessica Bondy:  if I could dream, any dream it would be that in everybody’s public consciousness, they would think about, be aware of, and acknowledge the harm that words adults say to children can have. They don’t understand it. What I think is so interesting is, as soon as you ask adults themselves to think about what they remember, when they were a child, so many, the vast vast majority can remember what was said to them that built them up. And what and who said it to them that knocked them down. But they don’t somehow apply it to their own lives when they are an adult. Right, that kind of disconnect. So I’d like widespread acknowledgement of it.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Jessica Bondy: So often in life one tries to mold oneself into something to be liked, approved or understood by someone and it just it never feels comfortable. One should  surround oneself with radiators, not drains.

Charity Matters: How has this journey changed you?

Jessica Bondy: I’m somebody that is a survivor.  I think I’m quite a resilient person. And resilience is so important.  I just think it’s about somehow dusting yourself off if you have a knock back. It’s not easy to do. People who experienced verbal abuse or any form of abuse is that you just need one or two people in your life that really build a venue that really believe in you that you can talk to, and get that support for.

We all know it’s so important to have that connection and support from a very, very young age.  I’ve had a few people in my life who I feel have really been there for me and who really believed in me. At the end of the day, we all want to be seen and heard, for who we are and valued for who we are.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

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Charity Matters Inspiration

The Barron Prize for Young Heroes

Have you ever picked up an old photo album and come across memories and before you know it you have been transported down memory lane? Last week that happened to me when I went looking for interviews to include in my book. Before I knew it I was years into Charity Matter’s post and it felt like finding old friends.

This post from 2018 struck me because the past few weeks, I have been speaking to hundreds of school principals for TACSC. My message for all of these schools is that when we tie a child’s shoe, we don’t help them, as intended. Instead, we tell the child by our action that they can’t tie their shoe. That they are not capable. Our mission at TACSC is to empower these students and tell them they can be anything and do anything they set their mind to. So when I came across this old post it felt just as relevant and worth a re-share. I did update the numbers served, so those are current.

A few years ago, a young lady that has helped start and run a local nonprofit asked me to write her a recommendation for The Barron Prize for Young Heroes, which I happily did. This high school girl is extraordinary and I was thrilled to help.  More than that, I was  excited to learn about this incredible award and nonprofit that inspires and encourages students between the ages of 8 and 18 to use heroic qualities like courage, compassion and perseverance to make a positive and significant impact on the world.

The prize was started by New York Times best selling Children’s author, T.A. Barron seventeen years ago and named after the author’s mother. His hope was to inspire children that could make a significant difference in the world. The founder’s fear was that  perhaps, they wouldn’t be able to find these children. However,it was just the opposite, hundreds and hundreds of applications would begin to come in.

Twenty-three years later, the Barron Prize for Young Heroes has honored over 575 young heroes who have  all done remarkable things. One prize winner is Alexa, who created a nonprofit called Bags of Books, which she started at age 10. Her organization distributes gently used and new children’s books in free pop-up stores in underserved communities. She has donated more than 120,000 books and inspired hundreds of volunteers to distribute books in homeless shelters, children’s hospitals and after school programs.

One  young prize winner founded NY is a great place to Bee! to educate the public about bees about the importance of healthy bee populations. She built a team of volunteers and they have educated over 14,000 students about ways to protect bees through her advocacy.

Another inspiring change maker,  Jahkil, founded Project I Am to help the homeless in Chicago. In one year Jahkil and his team distributed more than 3,000 Blessing Bags filled with toiletry items, towels, socks and snacks through his drop off sites and bag stuffing parties all at the age of nine!

While I could go on with hundreds more of these incredible young nonprofit founders and budding philanthropists, these 575 Barron Prize for Young Heroes winners have combined raised over 28.5 million dollars for their causes in the past twenty-three years. The real winners of this prestigious award are the incredible communities served by these extraordinary young leaders and their enormous compassion to serve. Each of them give us hope for a brighter future of kindness, caring and service.

 

charity matters.

 

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Childrens' Causes

Episode 9: America’s Kids Belong

Did you know that there are more than 400,000 children who are part of the foster care system in this country. Three-quarters of those children will be reunited with their family or another family member. The remaining 100,000 children need forever homes. What these children have in common is that they all need a home whether a temporary or a permanent one. May is National Foster Care Month and I thought it was a great time to revisit the incredibly eye opening conversation I had a while back with my friend Brian Mavis the founder of America’s Kids Belong.

Join us today for a fascinating conversation with Brian Mavis as he shares his family’s calling and journey in starting America’s Kids Belong. The remarkable story of what one family has done to change what family means for thousands and thousands of children in finding their forever home and family.

 

Here are a few highlights from our conversation:

Charity Matters: Tell us a little about what America’s Kids Belong does?

Brian Mavis:  Nationally, there are over 400,000 kids in foster care today. And a way to think about that group of over 400,000, is to then put them into two different groups. There’s a group of those kids about three-quarters of them, who are on a path towards reunification with their family and their parents. Then a quarter of those kids, so just roughly over 100,000, right now, they’re on a different path towards needing to find a new forever family. 

We work with both sets of kids because both groups, there is a deficit of families, a big one, between families who are willing to what we call, for now, families that will say we’re here for you, for now, to take care of you until your biological family can. And then forever families, the ones that will say, will be your new forever family. So we work on both sets.

Charity Matters: What was the moment you knew you needed to act and start America’s Kids Belong?

Brian Mavis:  This story starts in my wife’s heart and began early for her as a teenager. She was living in Southern California, had gone on a high school missions trip with her church into Mexico, and they worked in an orphanage. While she was there, she said, she heard God tell her this three-word sentence. Care for orphans. She knew she knew as a teenager, her calling on her life.

 In 2005, Julie said, “I want to be a foster mom.” So we go to the orientation and so you’re learning about trauma and all that kind of thing.  One of the first things they let you know, is who are these kids? Why are they in foster care? Right? And so, right off the bat, they say, there’s a myth that these kids are in foster care because of what they’ve done.  And that’s a myth because what actually has happened is something has been done to them. 

Brian, his wife Julie, their two daughters, and their first foster child.

Keegan became our first foster child. Two years later, in 2007, I’m a pastor at a church in Colorado. A child welfare worker called me and asked, “Can I meet with you to talk about child welfare in our county?” I said, “Sure.” So this woman, Cindy, comes to visit and says, “In the 27-year history of Child Welfare in our county, there has never been one single day, not one day, where kids weren’t waiting for grownups to take care of them. I have a challenge for you. So this was the three-word sentence that changed my life. My wife’s was “Care for orphans.” Mine was this. She said, “I have a challenge for you. Change who waits. Help me change who waits.”

Charity Matters: What fuels you to keep doing this work?

Brian Mavis: Conviction and commitment and this sense of like, there’s an injustice that needs to get set. Right? And then it’s you have to look for the victories. You can look at the numbers and say we increased this by 40%, and all that. But that doesn’t move your heart as much as knowing that  Adrian now has a family. And he had been raised in institutions for the past seven years. And now he’s got a mom and a dad. It’s that kind of thing that says, Okay, I’m gonna fight another day.

Charity Matters: Tell us what success you have had? 

Brian Mavis:  We increased the number of recruitment of foster families by 40%. Statewide, within a year. That is an intellectual case. You know, the emotional cases sharing a kid sharing a story. The transformational case is when a kid goes into a home, and a family changes everything for them, it changes their future, which could be one that is bleak. And to one that is hopeful.

 And what when you come down to saying, Let me tell you the story of it, Adrian he was he went into foster care when he was eight, he’s 15. Today, he’s had no inquiries on his life, he feels unwanted. And we did his video, within three weeks of promoting it, we had 24 families asking about and being their son.  And if he had aged out of foster care, just on the financial side, it would have cost you know, throughout social services hard cost $300,000 of services as a young adult for him so there’s that side to it.

The Mavis Family and their foster grandbabies.

Charity Matters: What life lessons have you learned from this experience?

Brian Mavis:  I’ve learned a lot. I still have a long way to go still about learning the effects of trauma on people, especially on kids. There are different kinds of trauma, there’s acute trauma, something that happens once. There is chronic trauma, something that’s happened over a period of time. And then there’s complex developmental trauma, which is something that happened in reason it’s complex.

Those first two didn’t happen by the hands of somebody who was meant to love you and care for you. And so that kind of trauma is profound. On the other hand, when there are enough skilled people who understand that and understand how to help give hope and healing and love, a lot of that trauma can be healed. I wish people and churches would become trauma competent and formed. It would really help everyone to understand.

CHARITY MATTERS.

 

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