Well, its done. He is launched. We did all of the obligatory schlepping, moving, buying, unpacking and settling in that comes with sending a child off to college. A lifetime of work boiled down to a few short crazy days and then in a blink its done.
A huge smile and a hug from our son, as he told me,”Don’t cry Mom its going to be okay.” Of course it is and he is right (words he will love to read in print, by the way). But “okay” somehow isn’t enough.
When our son was a newborn, we went to a party and put him under a table, while he napped in his car seat. We left the party with our toddler and 20 minutes later realized that the baby was not with us. A sickening feeling, that I will never forget, took over my body as we rushed back to find our beautiful son, asleep exactly where we had left him under the picnic table.
Today, eighteen years later, that same feeling is back. It sounds so crazy and yet, I feel like I went home from the party without him and every maternal extinct is screaming, go back! Go back! Nature can be so cruel, this primitive instinct of mothers and children is so hard-wired into us, regardless of the circumstances and our intellect.
While the job of parenting is never done, for now I will try to overcome this incredible sadness, that an amazing chapter in my life has closed and a wonderful new one has opened for our son.
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