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Dreaming Big

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I was raised by parents who told me I could do or be anything and somewhere along the line I began to believe them. “No” has never been a word in my vocabulary, for better or for worse.  Did I mention that being  stubborn is also part of the equation? The result of this is being a bit of big dreamer.

Over a decade ago, a friend reached out and asked a group of us girls for help. He was the one of two chaplains at Childrens Hospital Los Angeles. He shared his vision for help, support, families having chaplains of all faiths before surgeries, end of life, celebrations and simply someone trained to listen and provide faith and hope. It was a tall order for a group of women who had never started a non-profit before but a perfect big dream.

Within a year of the launch of The Spiritual Care Guild we had chaplains 24 hours a day 7 days a week. But big dreamers don’t stop at that, they keep going because once one dream is achieved, its time to make the dream bigger. Each year the Spiritual Care Department grew as did its integral role in the hospital, with staff and patient families.

Like all good dreams, they can’t come to an end. Then five years ago, the dream expanded to having a chapel that would accommodate people of all faiths, families, patients, staff and give them a place to pray, to think, to hope and to dream. This was the biggest dream of all, especially in a hospital where real estate is reserved for medicine and all that goes with providing excellent health care to tiny patients.

However, last week that dream became a reality. I stood in the physical space, now a construction site, that will become the new Interfaith Center at CHLA. It was such an amazing moment to see what happens when people come together with a common goal, a big dream and a huge team effort. Dreams do come true and the bigger the dream the better!

Charity Matters.

 

Copyright © 2015 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

A fight song

Photo via:ABC News
Photo via:ABC News

The other day I went to the dentist for my annual appointment. My dental hygienist, who has become my friend over the past decade of having my mouth held captive, did not look like her usual perky self.  I only see her twice a year but she somehow feels like a dear friend every time we visit. I asked her about her children who are the same age as mine and as the tears began to flow, she shared that her college age son was just diagnosed with cancer.

I came home devastated and in shock at how quickly lives are altered by the words, “You have cancer.” As I scrolled through Facebook as a distraction, I came across this and felt compelled to share.

Having spent over a decade at Childrens Hospital Los Angeles, supporting families in crisis, this spoke to me on so many levels. Coincidentally, September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.  Life can change on a dime, one never knows and it is the power of love, compassion and a fight song that makes it all worth the fight.

Charity Matters.

 

Copyright © 2015 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Raising charitable children

charitable kids that givePeople ask me all the time about suggestions for raising philanthropic children. While my sons are far from the poster children for philanthropy, they certainly do a lot to help others. My oldest has spent more than 600 hours in Watts, serving inner city children. His younger brother throws touchdowns for Childrens Hospital Los Angeles and reads to low-income children struggling in school. The youngest, at 12, is still finding his way but a few adventures to the LA Regional Food Bank, Childrens Hospital and Watts are giving him food for thought.

The reality is that there is no simple answer to this question and that raising charitable children is an ongoing process. I read an article recently that said role modeling philanthropy is simply not enough. The article referenced a new study from the Women’s Philanthropy Institute at Indiana University. The director, Debra Mesch, said “the research showed that talking to children about giving increased by 20 percent the likelihood that children would give.”

Here are a few tips to remember as we approach the season of giving:

Six Tips for Raising charitable children:

  1. Start early, as early as 4 or 5 years old. Giving becomes a habit.
  2. Talk to your children about what causes interest them and bring causes to their attention.
  3. Be intentional by involving your children in your own charity endeavors.
  4. Use online tools to research organizations to involve your children
  5. Be consistent. Make charity a part of your traditions, the holidays and birthdays.
  6. Emphasize the joy because giving feels great.

Benefits of raising charitable children:

  1. Opens children’s eyes to the fact that others are not as fortunate as they are
  2. Develops empathetic thinking
  3. Fosters an appreciation for what they have
  4. Enhances self-esteem
  5. Correlates to improved performance in school

While this topic is relevant for the holidays, it is important to remember that giving does not just happen once a year. Teaching the gifts you receive from giving should be a part of the year, not simply the season. Once your children feel how great it is to give, their lives will forever be altered in wonderful ways.

Charity Matters.

Copyright © 2013 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Keeping the Dream Alive

Father JohnAs you already know, I spend a lot of time talking about ways to use your gifts to make others’ lives better.  What is a little less comfortable is talking about my own time and what gifts I use to share with others. So today, I thought I would let you know that I do practice what I preach, or at least try my best….

For the past few months I have been working on a new video for the non-profit, Spiritual Care Guild, which ten of us founded a decade ago, to provide chaplains at Childrens Hospital Los Angeles. As a story-teller (I am Irish after all) telling the story of our non-profit was challenging, fun and at the end rewarding. So please, take a look….

When we began our group, the first benefit was Field of Dreams, an outdoor movie night set on a baseball field. Our hope was to “build it and they would come.” A decade later, I am so proud to say they did. Ten years ago, we could never have imagined all this group has accomplished. Today, our dream continues as we continue to support and provide chaplains to thousands of families and children at CHLA.

 

Charity Matters.

 

Copyright © 2013 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

 

 

 

Shark Attack at Childrens Hospital

paul de gelder-620x349Did that catch your attention? Well so did the inspiring man who brought his story to the children at Childrens Hospital Los Angeles last week, Paul de Gelder. Paul is an Australian Navy Seal (down under they are called Navy Clearance Divers) who was diving and lost his right arm and leg from a shark attack.

Paul’s life prior to his attack was one of extreme adventure, fun and about Paul. But as he spoke to some teen patients at CHLA. He shared what he has learned from his challenge. He recalled his naval training and the words the words he was taught, “Improvise, adapt and overcome.” How those words and the attack altered him forever.

He learned gratitude for everything, he learned to smile at everyone, he became gracious and giving. So many people had reached out to Paul and helped that he was now compelled to do the same. Paul committed to inspiring others and now his work is primarily motivating and uplifting others.

The moment that made Wednesday so powerful was when a young patient came up to Paul and shared that he had just found out he was going to lose his kidney.  He told Paul, ” I am going on a donor transplant list and dialysis and before you spoke, I was having a very bad day. But if you can improvise, adapt and overcome, than so can I. I am going to be fine.”

It was a beautiful moment and a perfect reminder of the power we all have to shift and impact someone’s life when we open ourselves up to give.

Charity Matters.

Copyright © 2013 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

A little inspiration

STEMI am a communicator, connector and doer. I’ll admit some of these traits are good to have, but truthfully, none of them in excess is fantastic. So, when I was invited to an amazing event at Childrens Hospital Los Angeles on Women in Science, Technology, Engineering and Math. I was excited to be able to use of few of these traits in one place.

No, I don’t possess any math or science skills but I wanted to connect some high school girls from my alma mater to a place I love, CHLA. These five women panelist were everything from MIT robot inventors, researchers studying the impact of pollution on Autism and even non-profit founders.  Each woman on her own was beyond impressive but collectively, they were remarkable.

They were not remarkable because of their science, educations, impressive resumes or their White House honors. The reason each speaker was so impressive was that they all independently had the same message. The message was, “Do something that matters. Have a purpose and make a difference. Find your gifts and use them towards the greater good.”

Now, it doesn’t take a scientist to figure out just how brilliant that advice is? Simply genius.

Charity Matters.

Copyright © 2013 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

In remembrance

candle-light1The second sunday in December is an international day of remembrance for children who have died.  All around the globe families, parents, siblings and friends light candles in memory of a child who has passed away. This year’s candle lighting came a week too early.

As I write this, tears stream down my face and my heart breaks for all of those families in Connecticut who lost their beloved children last friday.  Those 12 beautiful girls and 8 little boys are God’s newest angels. There really are not words.

Nine years ago when we started the Spiritual Care Guild at Childrens Hospital Los Angeles, the department head asked us if we could provide a candle lighting ceremony for the parents at CHLA.  And so we did.

Hundreds of parents arrived with their deceased child’s picture in a frame or printed on their shirts, they enter an auditorium where other grieving parents share their story. Meanwhile the siblings, write love letters to their deceased brother or sister on cut out dragonflies. When the parents leave the auditorium they are given a candle that is lit and they walk outside under a beautiful tree filled with the dragon-fly love letters. The parents will not leave until their candle has gone out.

Some talk to other parents, some cry, some sit in silence but the power of unity and the comfort of the shared loss is palpable. It is here where the tiniest piece of healing begins. Nine years later we still provide this ceremony and many families come back year after year to remember their beloved child.

Every year I leave that ceremony with a renewed sense of purpose, gratitude for my own children and compassion for these families. So this holiday season, when you light a candle, think of these precious 20 children…. our unity and love will overcome.

Charity Matters.

Copyright © 2012 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.

Ten Years later

Today is the ten-year anniversary of my mom’s death. I think Dr. Phil calls it one of the 5 defining moments in your life, I think this was my number 1 moment. My mother was  hit by a bus, yes I know it’s an expression that doesn’t really happen but in her case it did. She was 60 years old, celebrating my dad’s birthday with all of their dear friends and  loving life when this happened not only to us but to 3 other families as well.

A decade later and I still miss her everyday, think about picking up the phone to give her a call. I wish she was here, to see the men her grandsons are becoming. Some days it feels like yesterday and others seem so much longer, since I received that fateful call in the middle of the night.

The tears stopped long ago but that void is always there.  I think the magic and irony of loss is that with it comes growth. There isn’t a forest fire with out new fertile soil and a new forest, an earthquake without rebuilding, a death without a rebirth.

My mother’s death began my rebirth. I really do appreciate moments that before, went by unnoticed. I spend my time and try to use it as the gift that it is. I am driven to make a difference and feel she is propelling me to do so. My joy comes from my children and truly by helping others. This is my rebirth.

It began a year after my mother’s death when a friend asked me to come down to Childrens Hospital Los Angeles. My friend John, was a hospital chaplain, for a hospital that had 300,000 patients come through its doors with only 2 chaplains, no one at night and no one on weekends. He asked for help from 10 of us and I knew it was something I had to do. In that hallway at CHLA almost 10 years ago we founded The Spiritual Care Guild, a non-profit that provides non-denominational chaplains at Childrens Hospital Los Angeles.

Today, we have chaplains 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Founding Spiritual Care Guild  was my rebirth. Seeing the thousands of families that have chaplains by their children’s bedside has brought purpose to my mother’s death and giving has brought more joy than receiving ever could.

I know each week I tell the stories of people who started these non-profits but what I haven’t shared with you is that their story is mine as well. I too am one of these people.  This is not my pulpit but simply my voice. Giving, service and charity have healed me in unexpected and imaginable ways.  I share this in hopes it might do the same for you or someone you love.

I still miss my mom but know that wherever she is, she’s smiling.

This is why Charity Matters so much to me.   

Copyright © 2012 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.


I Have a Dream

Since this week was Dr. Martin Luther King’s birthday I thought it only fitting to share with you my “I have dream” post.

I have always been labeled a big dreamer and as the years roll by, it is a label that I am increasingly proud of.  My dream is to continue to share with you inspiring stories of people that have taken their tragedy and turned into something much bigger. In many cases, it is the story of the small non-profit that began from someone’s pain.

I am familiar with this story and this journey because it it also my own. When life hands you a tragedy you are given a choice, to let it destroy you or to define you. I hope my life is used doing the latter. In these moments you realize just how little time it is that you have on this planet to really make a difference. As Dr. King said, “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

Silent is not my strong suit. There is much that matters. There is much to do.  The non-profit that sprouted from my tragedy (created with an incredible group of people) is called The Spiritual Care Guild at Childrens Hospital Los Angeles. Being a part of building a non-profit and being able to provide chaplains to children and families at Childrens Hospital Los Angeles has been a defining moment and a dream that has become a reality.

Like all big dreamers, somehow the dreams become bigger. That big dream is to help to give a voice to these stories with Charity Matters.  There are 1.7 million non-profits in the United States and many of them started from a tragedy, as mine did. These stories need to be told.

Dr. King used his voice to spread a message of hope. It is my dream to use my voice to continue to spread the message of these non-profits and the bigger message that Charity Matters. I think its a dream that Dr. King would approve.

Copyright © 2012 Charity Matters. This article may not be reproduced without explicit written permission; if you are not reading this in your newsreader, the site you are viewing is illegally infringing our copyright. We would be grateful if you contact us.